The Wolf of Wall Street

00:00:45The world of investing
00:00:48can be a jungle.
00:00:50Bulls. Bears.
00:00:52Danger at every turn.
00:00:54That's why we at Stratton Oakmont
00:00:57pride ourselves on being the best.
00:01:00Trained professionals to guide you
00:01:02through the financial wilderness.
00:01:05Stratton Oakmont.
00:01:24Twenty-five grand to the first cocksucker to nail a bull's-eye!
00:01:29Come on! Let's go!
00:01:38My name is Jordan Belfort.
00:01:40Not him.
00:01:41Me. That's right.
00:01:43I'm a former member of the middle class
00:01:45raised by two accountants in a tiny apartment in Bayside, Queens.
00:01:49The year I turned 26,
00:01:50as the head of my own brokerage firm,
00:01:52I made $49 million,
00:01:55which really pissed me off because it was three shy of a million a week.
00:02:03No, no, no. My Ferrari was white,
00:02:05like Don Johnson's in Miami Vice. Not red.
00:02:12See that humongous estate down there?
00:02:15That's my house.
00:02:16For millionaires whose ships...
00:02:18My wife, Naomi,
00:02:20the Duchess of Bay Ridge, Brooklyn,
00:02:22a former model and Miller Lite girl.
00:02:26She was the one with my cock in her mouth in the Ferrari.
00:02:29So put your dick back in your pants.
00:02:32In addition to Naomi and my two perfect kids,
00:02:35I own a mansion, private jet,
00:02:36six cars, three horses,
00:02:38two vacation homes,
00:02:39and a 170-foot yacht.
00:02:43Anchors aweigh!
00:02:48I also gamble like a degenerate.
00:02:50I drink like a fish.
00:02:51I fuck hookers maybe five, six times a week.
00:02:54I have three different federal agencies looking to indict me.
00:02:57Oh, yeah, and I love drugs.
00:03:07- One more round. - Oh, yeah.
00:03:09- Oh, you like it? - Yeah.
00:03:22Pull up. Pull up! We're gonna crash, for Christ sake!
00:03:27Just relax.
00:03:40- You okay? - Yeah, I'm all right.
00:03:42Good job.
00:03:44You get in there safe, all right?
00:03:46Till the next time, brother.
00:03:48Till next time.
00:03:55Yup, on a daily basis I consume enough drugs
00:03:59to sedate Manhattan, Long Island and Queens for a month.
00:04:05Okay, Mr. Jordan.
00:04:06I take Quaaludes 10 to 15 times a day for my "back pain,"
00:04:10Adderall to stay focused,
00:04:12Xanax to take the edge off, pot to mellow me out,
00:04:15cocaine to wake me back up again and morphine, well,
00:04:18because it's awesome.
00:04:20Good morning, Nathan.
00:04:27But of all the drugs under God's blue heaven,
00:04:30there is one that is my absolute favorite.
00:04:33You see,
00:04:35enough of this shit'll make you invincible.
00:04:39Able to conquer the world,
00:04:41and eviscerate your enemies.
00:04:46And I'm not talking about this.
00:04:49I'm talking about this.
00:04:54See, money doesn't just buy you a better life,
00:04:56better food, better cars, better pussy.
00:04:59It also makes you a better person.
00:05:01You can give generously to the church
00:05:03or political party of your choice.
00:05:05You can save the fucking spotted owl with money.
00:05:12I always wanted to be rich. So let me go back.
00:05:15I'm 22 years old, newly married,
00:05:17and already a money-crazed little shit.
00:05:20So what do I do?
00:05:21I go to the one place on Earth
00:05:23that befit my high-minded ambitions.
00:05:27I love you.
00:05:39You are lower than pond scum.
00:05:43You got a problem with that,
00:05:47No. No problem at all.
00:05:49Good. Because that is what you are.
00:05:51Pond scum.
00:05:52Your job is connector,
00:05:54which means that you'll be dialing the phone over 500 times a day
00:05:58trying to connect me with wealthy business owners.
00:06:00And until you pass your Series 7,
00:06:03that is all you're gonna fucking be doing. Sit.
00:06:07Now just so you know, last year I made over $300,000.
00:06:11The other guy you'll be working for, he made over a million.
00:06:14A million dollars?
00:06:16I could only imagine what a douchebag that guy must be.
00:06:19- Jordan Belfort. - Yes, sir.
00:06:22- Mark Hanna. - A pleasure to meet you.
00:06:24And you as well. I see you've already met the village asshole.
00:06:27Smile and dial.
00:06:28And don't pick up your fucking head until 1:00.
00:06:31Hey, fuck him.
00:06:32I'm the senior broker here. He's just a worthless piker.
00:06:35Why don't you blow me, Hanna?
00:06:37Now did you really pitch a stock in your job interview?
00:06:40I had to do something to stand out. Right, sir?
00:06:43I fucking love that.
00:06:45- Lunch. Today. - Yeah.
00:06:48We don't start dialing at 9:30
00:06:50because our clients are already answering the phone.
00:06:53Three. Two. One.
00:06:56Let's fuck!
00:06:59You want to know what money sounds like?
00:07:01Go to a trading floor on Wall Street.
00:07:03"Fuck" this, "shit" that.
00:07:04"Cunt, " "cock," "asshole. "
00:07:06I couldn't believe how these guys talked to each other.
00:07:08- Good fucking package... - Piece of shit!
00:07:09I was hooked in seconds.
00:07:12It was like mainlining adrenaline.
00:07:14Yeah. Fuckface, look at where the stock's at today, huh?
00:07:17You motherfucker, you can't get any at 44...
00:07:20- Pick up the cocksucking phone! - Sorry...
00:07:25You are such a fucking douchebag, Hanna.
00:07:27We don't give two shits about how technology works
00:07:30because all we care about is getting fucking rich.
00:07:32- Solid, 2,000. - Jordan Belfort.
00:07:37Time to paint the tape. Whoo!
00:07:402,000. Microsoft. Going in the hole!
00:07:43Come on.
00:07:45Live. Live. Hold on, that is hot.
00:07:49In. In. Shut that motherfucker.
00:07:51Shut it! Shut it! Shut it!
00:08:22Oh, no. Thank you, though.
00:08:24Mr. Hanna, what can I bring for you on this glorious afternoon?
00:08:27Well, Hector, here's the game plan.
00:08:29You're gonna bring us two Absolut martinis.
00:08:32You know howl like them. Straight up.
00:08:34And then precisely seven and one half minutes after that,
00:08:36you're gonna bring us two more.
00:08:38Then two more after that every five minutes
00:08:41until one of us passes the fuck out.
00:08:45Excellent strategy, sir.
00:08:46I'm good with water for now.
00:08:48Thank you.
00:08:49It's his first day on Wall Street. Give him time.
00:08:53- Thank you. - Thank you.
00:08:56Mr. Hanna?
00:08:58You're able to do drugs during the day
00:09:00and then still function, still do your job?
00:09:04How the fuck else would you do this job?
00:09:05Cocaine and hookers, my friend.
00:09:10Well, I got to say, I'm incredibly excited
00:09:12to be a part of your firm. I mean...
00:09:16The clients you have are absolutely...
00:09:17Fuck the clients.
00:09:19Your only responsibility is to put meat on the table.
00:09:23You got a girlfriend?
00:09:25I'm married. I have a wife.
00:09:26Her name is Teresa. She cuts hair.
00:09:28- Congratulations. - Thank you.
00:09:30Think about Teresa.
00:09:31Name of the game.
00:09:33Move the money from your client's pocket into your pocket.
00:09:38But if you make your clients money at the same time,
00:09:39it's advantageous to everyone. Correct?
00:09:44Number one rule of Wall Street.
00:09:49I don't care if you're Warren Buffett or if you're Jimmy Buffett.
00:09:51Nobody knows if a stock is gonna go up,
00:09:54down, sideways, or in fucking circles.
00:09:56- Least of all stockbrokers, right? - Mmm-hmm.
00:09:58It's all a fugazi. You know what a fugazi is?
00:10:00Uh. Fugayzi. It's a fake.
00:10:03Fugayzi, fugazi, it's a whazy, it's a woozy, it's...
00:10:05Fairy dust. It doesn't exist.
00:10:08It's never landed. It is no matter.
00:10:10It's not on the elemental chart.
00:10:11It's not fucking real.
00:10:13- Right? - Right.
00:10:15- Stay with me. - Mmm-hmm.
00:10:17We don't create shit. We don't build anything.
00:10:21So if you got a client who bought stock at 8
00:10:24and it now sits at 16, he's all fucking happy.
00:10:26He wants to cash in, liquidate,
00:10:28take his fucking money and run home.
00:10:29- You don't let him do that. - Okay.
00:10:31- 'Cause that would make it real. - Right.
00:10:33No. What do you do?
00:10:35You get another brilliant idea.
00:10:37A special idea.
00:10:38Another "situation." Another stock
00:10:41to reinvest his earnings and then some.
00:10:43And he will, every single time.
00:10:45'Cause they're fucking addicted.
00:10:47And you just keep doing this, again and again and again.
00:10:50Meanwhile, he thinks he's getting shit rich,
00:10:53which he is, on paper.
00:10:56But you and me, the brokers,
00:10:57we're taking home cold hard cash
00:10:59via commission, motherfucker.
00:11:05That's incredible, sir.
00:11:06I can't tell you how excited I am.
00:11:08You should be.
00:11:09There's two keys to success in the broker business.
00:11:13First of all...
00:11:17- You gotta stay relaxed. - Yeah.
00:11:19Do you jerk off?
00:11:22Do I... Do I jerk off?
00:11:23Yeah. Yeah, I jerk off. Yeah.
00:11:26How many times a week?
00:11:28Like, um, three or four.
00:11:30Three or four times, maybe five.
00:11:31Gotta pump those numbers up.
00:11:32Those are rookie numbers in this racket.
00:11:35I myself, I jerk off at least twice a day.
00:11:39- Wow. - Once in the morning
00:11:40right after I work out, then once right after lunch.
00:11:43- Really? - Mmm-hmm.
00:11:45I want to. That's not why I do it.
00:11:47I do it 'cause I fucking need to.
00:11:50Think about it. You're dealing with numbers.
00:11:52All day long, decimal points, high frequencies.
00:11:55Bang, bang, bang.
00:11:57Fucking digits.
00:11:59All very acidic above-the-shoulders mustard shit.
00:12:02- All right? - Mmm-hmm.
00:12:03It kind of wigs some people out.
00:12:05- Mmm-hmm. - Right.
00:12:06You got to feed the geese to keep the blood flowing.
00:12:08I keep the rhythm below the belt.
00:12:11This is not a tip, this is a prescription.
00:12:13- Trust me. - Mmm-hmm.
00:12:14If you don't, you will fall out of balance,
00:12:17split your differential and tip the fuck over.
00:12:19Or worse yet,
00:12:20I've seen this happen, implode.
00:12:23No, I don't want to implode, sir.
00:12:24No. No, you don't.
00:12:25I'm in it for the long run, you know?
00:12:27- Implosions are ugly. - Yeah.
00:12:28Pop off to the bathroom, work one out any time you can.
00:12:31When you get really good at it,
00:12:32you'll fucking be stroking it and you'll be thinking about money.
00:12:35Second key to success in this racket
00:12:40is this little baby right here.
00:12:41It's called cocaine.
00:12:44It'll keep you sharp between the ears.
00:12:46It'll also help your fingers dial faster.
00:12:48And guess what?
00:12:50That's good for me.
00:12:52Yes, sir.
00:12:54Revolutions. You follow?
00:12:57Keep the clients on the Ferris wheel.
00:12:59And it goes. The park is open 24/7, 365,
00:13:03every decade, every goddamn century.
00:13:06That's it.
00:13:08The name of the game.
00:13:12- Hmm. - Thank you.
00:13:25Come on.
00:13:31We're the common denominator.
00:13:42Keep it up for me.
00:13:44You've seen the echo
00:13:45And the money comes in
00:13:48The parade comes to town
00:13:50Going down Broadway
00:13:51It's a one-way street
00:13:53Whichever way I go
00:13:59The next six months,
00:14:00I got to know the ins and outs of Wall Street.
00:14:02Earning shit money as I geared up to take my Series 7.
00:14:12Oh, fuckers.
00:14:20Then I was a licensed broker at last,
00:14:24ready to make my fortune.
00:14:26My first day as a future Master of the Universe.
00:14:38I have Exxon at 86 1/4 six months ago.
00:14:40Today it is trading at 36 1/2.
00:14:48They called it Black Monday.
00:14:50No shit.
00:14:52By 4:00 p.m., the market had dropped 508 points.
00:14:56The biggest plummet since the crash of '29.
00:14:59I know your family, you know mine.
00:15:00No, I don't know. Some fucking country in Europe took a shit.
00:15:03Let them do what they want to fucking do.
00:15:05Our market's solid.
00:15:06This is not something that you want to sell.
00:15:08You know what happened? A fucking tsunami.
00:15:10I think you're making a big mistake.
00:15:11Yes, I will talk to your wife.
00:15:12Trust me, do not answer the phone.
00:15:14A lot of people are gonna be calling you,
00:15:15trying to get your dirty laundry.
00:15:17We don't know what's going on here.
00:15:18I know. I know.
00:15:32fucking shit!
00:15:38My first shitty day as a broker.
00:15:41Within a month, L.F. Rothschild,
00:15:43an institution since 1899, closed its doors.
00:15:48Wall Street had swallowed me up
00:15:50and shit me right back out again.
00:15:56We could pawn my engagement ring if we needed to.
00:15:59- Babe... - Because I don't mind.
00:16:00If we needed to, I'm saying...
00:16:01- Will you listen to me? - Okay.
00:16:03You're not pawning anything. Okay?
00:16:05- Okay. - What do I always tell you?
00:16:07You're gonna be a millionaire.
00:16:08That's right. Okay? Just let me look.
00:16:10We'll find something.
00:16:12- How about this? - What?
00:16:13Nobody Beats the Wiz, the electronics store.
00:16:16Stock boy. What do you think?
00:16:17You're not gonna work at that place.
00:16:19Yeah, but, you know, you start off...
00:16:20Jordan, you're gonna be miserable at that place
00:16:21- if you go there. - I know.
00:16:22It's sales. You work your way up,
00:16:23you'll be a general manager.
00:16:25- You're not gonna be a stock boy. - Why not?
00:16:26'Cause you're a stockbroker.
00:16:28You understand that nobody's hiring stockbrokers right now?
00:16:31You understand that?
00:16:38Ah. This place is.
00:16:41- What? - What's that say?
00:16:45In Long Island? Stockbrokers in Long Island?
00:16:48It's in Long Island. So what?
00:17:08Hey, uh, I'm looking for Investor's Center.
00:17:13What's that? You want to invest?
00:17:15No. Investor's Center.
00:17:16I'm looking for Investor's Center.
00:17:18Yeah, yeah, that's us. Hey. This is it. This is it.
00:17:21- I'm Dwayne. Yeah. - You're Dwayne?
00:17:23Hi, Dwayne. We spoke on the phone.
00:17:25I'm Jordan Belfort.
00:17:27I'm the broker from Rothschild in New York.
00:17:29Yes, yeah. Have a seat. How are you?
00:17:31We had a conversation...
00:17:32We spoke on the phone earlier, right?
00:17:34- Two hours ago. - Right.
00:17:39They're up and comers. That's what that means.
00:17:40It's 3 cents a share, that's $3!
00:17:42You cheap fuck!
00:17:44So, uh...
00:17:46So where are your Quotrons here?
00:17:49- Quotrons? - Yeah. Your computers.
00:17:51No, no. We don't even need computers here.
00:17:52We just trade right off the pink sheets here.
00:17:54- Pink sheets? - Yeah, they're penny stocks.
00:17:56You know, uh, companies that can't get listed on NASDAQ,
00:17:58they don't have enough capital?
00:17:59Their shares trade here.
00:18:00- Penny stocks? - Yeah.
00:18:02This one, uh, Aerodyne, is a really interesting...
00:18:05Or Aerotyne...
00:18:06Aerotyne, yeah.
00:18:08Aero... Aerotyne...
00:18:10Aerotyne. Yeah.
00:18:11Very hot stock right now.
00:18:12Oh, yeah?
00:18:13They're just a couple of brothers that are making
00:18:15radar detectors out of their garage.
00:18:16They're out in Dubuque.
00:18:17Maybe it's microwaves. I'm not sure.
00:18:19But you call the company's main line,
00:18:20their mom, Dorothy, answers and she is so sweet.
00:18:22- Good company. - I actually don't know what else to...
00:18:24I don't know anything else about them other than that.
00:18:27Six cents a share?
00:18:29Hey, come on. Who buys this crap?
00:18:31Well, I mean...
00:18:33Honestly, mostly schmucks.
00:18:34Postmen, there's always postmen.
00:18:36Uh, plumbers. Um...
00:18:38They see our ads in the back of, uh,
00:18:40Hustler and Popular Mechanics.
00:18:41Our ads actually say they can get rich quick.
00:18:44- Hustler? - Yeah.
00:18:45You know, those girlie magazines.
00:18:47Yeah, yeah. Nudie mag.
00:18:48- A lot. - Yeah.
00:18:49We're helping them finance houses,
00:18:51we're helping them buy their wife a diamond ring...
00:18:53A boat maybe.
00:18:54Is this... Is this stuff regulated or are you guys...
00:18:57What are you doing here?
00:19:01Sort of.
00:19:02Sort of?
00:19:06Jesus Christ, the spread on these is huge.
00:19:08Yeah. And that's the point, that's...
00:19:09What's your name again?
00:19:10Mine... Jordan Belfort.
00:19:12Jordan, what do you get on that blue chip stock?
00:19:14I make one percent. Or I did make one percent.
00:19:17Pink sheets, it's 50.
00:19:21It's 50%?
00:19:2450% commission?
00:19:25- Yup. - For what?
00:19:27It's our markup for our services.
00:19:30And so if I... If I...
00:19:32if I sell a stock at $10,000, my commission is 5,000 bucks?
00:19:36If you sell $10,000 worth of this stock,
00:19:39I will personally give you a blowjob for free.
00:19:43And I hope it happens.
00:19:47Hello, John, how are you doing today?
00:19:48You mailed in my company a postcard a few weeks back
00:19:51requesting information on penny stocks
00:19:53that had huge upside potential
00:19:55with very little downside risk.
00:19:57- Does that ring a bell? - Yeah, I may have sent something.
00:19:59Okay, great. The reason for the call today, John, is,
00:20:02something just came across my desk, John.
00:20:05It is perhaps the best thing
00:20:06I've seen in the last six months.
00:20:08If you have 60 seconds, I'd like to share
00:20:10the idea with you. You got a minute?
00:20:11Actually, I'm really very...
00:20:12The name of the company, Aerotyne International.
00:20:14It is a cutting edge high-tech firm out of the Midwest
00:20:18awaiting imminent patent approval
00:20:20on the next generation of radar detectors
00:20:22that have both huge military and civilian applications now.
00:20:27Right now, John,
00:20:28the stock trades over-the-counter at 10 cents a share.
00:20:31And by the way, John, our analysts indicate
00:20:33it could go a heck of a lot higher than that.
00:20:36Your profit on a mere $6,000 investment
00:20:39would be upwards of $60,000!
00:20:42Jesus! That's my mortgage, man.
00:20:43Exactly. You could pay off your mortgage.
00:20:45This stock will pay off my house?
00:20:47John, one thing I can promise you,
00:20:48even in this market,
00:20:50is that I never ask my clients
00:20:52to judge me on my winners.
00:20:54I ask them to judge me on my losers because I have so few.
00:20:57And in the case of Aerotyne,
00:20:59based on every technical factor out there, John,
00:21:01we are looking at a grand slam home run.
00:21:05Okay, let's do it. I'll do 4 grand.
00:21:08$4,000? That'd be 40,000 shares, John.
00:21:10Let me lock in that trade right now
00:21:11and get back to you with my secretary
00:21:13with an exact confirmation. Sound good, John?
00:21:15- Yeah, sounds good. - Great.
00:21:16Hey, John.
00:21:17Thank you for your vote of confidence.
00:21:20And welcome to the Investor's Center.
00:21:21Yeah, thanks a lot, man.
00:21:27How'd you fucking do that?
00:21:31Just like that, I made 2 grand.
00:21:33The other guys looked at me like I'd just discovered fire.
00:21:38Great! Even better!
00:21:39I was selling garbage to garbage men
00:21:41and making cash hand over fist.
00:21:43The only problem you're gonna have is that you didn't buy more.
00:21:46Boom shocka locka!
00:21:47So I was selling them shit.
00:21:50But the way I looked at it, their money was better off in my pocket.
00:21:53I knew how to spend it better.
00:21:55Excuse me. Is that your car in the lot?
00:22:00- It's a nice ride. - Thanks, man.
00:22:01Donnie Azoff.
00:22:03Hey. I'm Jordan Belfort.
00:22:04- Nice to meet you. - How you doing?
00:22:05You know, actually, I see that car around.
00:22:07- I see it around a lot. - Oh, yeah, where?
00:22:09I think we live in the same building.
00:22:11- No shit? - Yeah, yeah.
00:22:12- Twelfth floor? - Yeah. What floor are you on?
00:22:14Fourth floor.
00:22:15- I have two little kids. Ugly wife. - Right.
00:22:19What do you do, bro?
00:22:21What do you mean, what do I do?
00:22:23For work, what do you do?
00:22:24I'm a stockbroker.
00:22:25- Stockbroker? - Yeah.
00:22:27Children's furniture.
00:22:29Oh, good for you.
00:22:30It's all right.
00:22:32You make a lot of money?
00:22:35Yeah, I do all right for myself.
00:22:36I'm trying to put it together.
00:22:38You got your fucking nice car,
00:22:39we live in the same building. I just...
00:22:41I'm not understanding... How much money do you make?
00:22:45I don't know. $70,000 last month.
00:22:47Get the fuck...
00:22:49Get the fuck out of here.
00:22:51No, I'm serious.
00:22:52Yeah, no, I'm serious, too.
00:22:54Seriously, how much money do you make?
00:22:56I told you. $70,000.
00:22:58Well, technically, $72,000.
00:23:01Last month. Something like that.
00:23:04You made 72 grand in one month?
00:23:11I'll tell you what.
00:23:14You show me a pay stub for $72,000 on it,
00:23:16I quit my job right now and I work for you.
00:23:25Hey, Paulie, what's up?
00:23:28No, yeah, yeah. No, everything's fine.
00:23:29Hey, listen, I quit.
00:23:31And he did quit his job.
00:23:33Which I thought was a little weird.
00:23:34I mean, I just met this fucking guy.
00:23:36Don't fucking tell Susan. It's none of her business.
00:23:38There were other things about him, too.
00:23:39Like his phosphorescent white teeth.
00:23:41wife! I gotta fucking deal with your wife?
00:23:43The fact that he wore horn rims with clear lenses
00:23:45just to look more WASP-y.
00:23:47And then, there were these rumors.
00:23:50I heard some stupid shit. I don't know.
00:23:53Fuck, I didn't even want to bring it up. It's just...
00:23:55- it's stupid. - Shit with me?
00:23:57You know, people say shit. I don't even know.
00:23:59I don't even listen to it half the time.
00:24:02What are they saying?
00:24:04Shit about you and your cousin or something like that.
00:24:07I don't even listen to it.
00:24:08Oh, bro, it's not like that.
00:24:11It's not like that.
00:24:12Like you married your cousin or some stupid shit. No?
00:24:16Yeah, my wife. Yeah.
00:24:17My wife is my cousin, or whatever.
00:24:19But it's not like what you think, or whatever, you know.
00:24:22Is she like a first cousin, or is she...
00:24:24Yeah, no, she's, you know...
00:24:25Her... Her father
00:24:28is the brother of my mom.
00:24:31It's not like, what... You know.
00:24:32Look, we grew up together.
00:24:33And she grew up hot, you know. She fucking grew up hot.
00:24:36And all my friends were trying to fuck her, you know.
00:24:38And I'm not gonna let someone...
00:24:40You know, one of these assholes fuck my cousin,
00:24:41so, you know, I used the cousin thing
00:24:43as like an in with her.
00:24:45I'm not gonna let someone else fuck my cousin.
00:24:47You know, if anyone's gonna fuck my cousin,
00:24:49it's gonna be me, out of respect. You know?
00:24:51No, I get it. Yeah.
00:24:52I mean, you're not afraid of like the whole kid thing, right?
00:24:55- What? Having kids with her? - Yeah.
00:24:56No. We have two kids.
00:24:57And they're... I mean...
00:24:59I don't want to get personal, but they're okay?
00:25:01No, they're not retarded or anything like that.
00:25:04But there's a big chance, right, if...
00:25:06Yeah, there's like a 60%, you know,
00:25:0860 to 65% chance the kid's gonna be fucking retarded or whatever.
00:25:12That'd scare the shit out of me, buddy.
00:25:13Look, man, a lot of having a kid, or whatever, takes risk,
00:25:15whether you're fucking cousins or not.
00:25:17What if something like that happened?
00:25:20Basically, you know, if the kid was retarded,
00:25:21I would, you know, drive it up to the country
00:25:25and just, like, you know, open the door and say,
00:25:27"You're free now." You know, like, "Run free."
00:25:29You know?
00:25:35You're completely fucking with me.
00:25:39That's horrible. You're not gonna...
00:25:41You look like you've... No.
00:25:43We would take it to, like, an institution or somewhere
00:25:45that's handled to, like, you know,
00:25:46raise the kid or whatever.
00:25:48You know what? If you're happy, God bless you, buddy.
00:25:50No, I'm not fucking happy.
00:25:52No one who's married is fucking happy.
00:25:54Well, I'm sorry to hear that, buddy.
00:25:56Listen, I'm really, you know...
00:25:58I'm really appreciative for this fucking job.
00:26:00I'm really enjoying it.
00:26:01I'm really happy with what you're doing.
00:26:03Actually, I got you a little present.
00:26:05- You got me a present? - I got you something.
00:26:07Oh, fuck. You're sweet.
00:26:08Yeah. It's in the back though.
00:26:10- What do you mean? - You gotta go out back.
00:26:12Like it's wrapped up or something?
00:26:14It's wrapped up. Yeah.
00:26:16- I don't get it. - Neither do I.
00:26:17Let's fucking go. Come on.
00:26:20Your turn.
00:26:21I'm not fucking doing this.
00:26:22You're out of your fucking mind.
00:26:23- Smoke this shit, bro. - No.
00:26:25No one's fucking here, bro.
00:26:27Get the fuck...
00:26:29Fucking smoke crack with me, bro.
00:26:30I'm not fucking doing it.
00:26:31Smoke crack. Smoke some fucking crack with me, bro.
00:26:34- One hit. One hit. That's it. - Okay.
00:26:37Fucking nut job.
00:27:10Let's go run, huh?
00:27:12We gotta get out of here, buddy.
00:27:14We gotta get out of here. Let's go fucking run.
00:27:16Let's run like we're fucking lions and tigers and bears!
00:27:20Let's run! Let's fucking run!
00:27:23Let's fucking run! Go!
00:27:24Go, go, go, go!
00:27:27You've reached Frank's Best Auto Body.
00:27:29We're closed right now.
00:27:31So please leave us a message.
00:27:33Hello. My name is Jordan Belfort.
00:27:35My partner and I are very interested in renting out your garage.
00:27:38Donnie and I were going out on our own.
00:27:41And the first thing we needed was brokers.
00:27:43Guys with sales experience.
00:27:45So I recruited some of my hometown boys.
00:27:47Sea Otter, who sold meat
00:27:49and weed.
00:27:51Chester, who sold tires
00:27:53and weed.
00:27:54And Robbie, who sold anything he could get his hands on.
00:27:57Mostly weed.
00:27:59Can you bring me some ketchup? Okay?
00:28:01This is Brad.
00:28:02And Brad's the guy I really wanted.
00:28:04But he didn't go along with us.
00:28:05He was already making so much money selling Quaaludes,
00:28:08he'd become the Quaalude king of Bayside.
00:28:11Getting any pussy with that thing or what?
00:28:12Yeah, man, of course.
00:28:13Bring some of them chicks around here sometime, huh?
00:28:15Let 'em watch.
00:28:16Let 'em watch. Know what I mean?
00:28:19Hey, Zip! You tell your sister I was asking about her.
00:28:23Why don't you bring me a pair of her panties next time you come through.
00:28:26Yeah, man. She said she don't want to talk to you anymore, man.
00:28:29Get the fuck out of here.
00:28:31Hey, Ma, we got chicken or what?
00:28:36You listening? It's easier than you think.
00:28:38Every person you're on the phone with,
00:28:39they want to get rich and they want to get rich quickly.
00:28:42They all want something for nothing.
00:28:43There was this one time that I was selling pot to this Amish dude.
00:28:46You know those guys who got like the beard
00:28:47with like no mustache or some bullshit?
00:28:50Well, he says that he only wants to make furniture.
00:28:54I don't understand.
00:28:55What's that got to do with anything?
00:28:56What the fuck are you talking about?
00:28:58I'm not putting words in your mouth or nothing,
00:29:00but you just said that everybody wants to get rich.
00:29:03Holy fuck, you did just say that.
00:29:07What the fuck are you talking about?
00:29:08Yeah, like Buddhists.
00:29:09They don't give a shit about money.
00:29:11They're wrapped in sheets. They're not buying shit.
00:29:13I'm not talking about Buddhists or Amish.
00:29:14I'm talking about normal people,
00:29:16working-class, everyday people.
00:29:17Everyone wants to get rich. Am I crazy?
00:29:19There's no such thing as an Amish Buddhist.
00:29:21- I'm pretty fucking sure. - There could be.
00:29:23Can we get some ketchup, please?
00:29:25Do you guys not want to make money?
00:29:26I want to make some money.
00:29:28I want to make some fucking money, okay.
00:29:30I can sell anything.
00:29:31Shit, I can sell ludes to a convent full of nuns,
00:29:33and get them so horny they'd be fucking each other.
00:29:35That's the attitude. You can sell anything?
00:29:37Sell me this fucking pen right here.
00:29:39You can sell anything. Sell that. Go ahead.
00:29:40Sell me the pen.
00:29:42Can I finish eating first? I haven't eaten today.
00:29:45Brad, show them how it's done. Boom.
00:29:47Sell me that pen. Watch. Go on.
00:29:49You want me to sell this fucking pen?
00:29:50That's my boy right there. Can fucking sell anything.
00:29:53Why don't you do me a favor.
00:29:54Write your name down on that napkin for me.
00:29:55I don't have a pen.
00:29:57Exactly. Supply and demand, my friend.
00:29:59Holy shit.
00:30:00See what I'm saying? He's creating urgency.
00:30:01Get them to want to buy the stock.
00:30:03Convince them it's something they need, you know what I mean?
00:30:04And that's the thing.
00:30:06All nuns are lesbians.
00:30:08What the fuck are you talking about, Otter?
00:30:09Think about it. They can't keep a dude
00:30:11so they're gonna start fucking chicks.
00:30:12Four fucking times, Kimmie! Four times.
00:30:15- He's not with us. - Friggin' Rambo.
00:30:16Now she runs.
00:30:17But look. I knew these guys weren't like Harvard MBAs.
00:30:20Robbie Feinberg, the pinhead,
00:30:22took five years to finish high school.
00:30:24Alden Kupferberg, the Sea Otter,
00:30:26didn't even graduate.
00:30:28Chester Ming, the depraved Chinaman,
00:30:30thought jujitsu was in Israel.
00:30:32Smartest of the bunch was Nicky Koskoff.
00:30:34He actually went to law school.
00:30:36I called him Rugrat because of his piece of shit hairpiece.
00:30:40Still, give them to me young, hungry and stupid
00:30:43and in no time, I'll make them rich.
00:30:49Oh, my God.
00:30:50Jordan, that...
00:30:52You like it, baby?
00:30:53Oh, my God, it's beautiful.
00:30:55They're not the biggest stones in the world,
00:30:57but I promise they're really high quality.
00:30:59It's beautiful.
00:31:01They're so beautiful.
00:31:03Oh, boy.
00:31:06I know that look. What is it? Go ahead.
00:31:08I don't know, it's... You know...
00:31:10These stocks... These companies...
00:31:13They're like crappy companies.
00:31:15- Well, yeah. - Okay.
00:31:16Yeah, they're terrible.
00:31:19Don't worry about it. I told you,
00:31:20what I'm doing is completely legal.
00:31:21Yeah, I know.
00:31:22But they're not gonna make anyone money though, right?
00:31:25Well, sometimes they do, sometimes they don't.
00:31:28You know how it goes.
00:31:29Wouldn't you feel better if you sold that stuff to rich people
00:31:32who can, like, afford to lose all that money?
00:31:36Of course.
00:31:38But rich people don't buy penny stocks.
00:31:41They just don't.
00:31:42Why not?
00:31:46Because they're too smart,
00:31:48that's why not.
00:31:49I mean, what person with a college education
00:31:52would trust this bunch of jerk-offs?
00:31:53Hang up the phone. Tell him you'll call him back.
00:31:55I got 5 fucking grand on the phone right now!
00:31:57But what if they didn't sound like a bunch of jerk-offs?
00:32:00What if I could teach them how to sell to people with money?
00:32:04Real money.
00:32:06So I decided to reinvent the company.
00:32:08Gentlemen, welcome
00:32:11to Stratton Oakmont.
00:32:13You schnooks will now be targeting
00:32:15the wealthiest 1% of Americans.
00:32:18We're talking about whales here.
00:32:20Moby fucking Dicks.
00:32:22And with this script, which is now your new harpoon,
00:32:26I'm gonna teach each and every one of you
00:32:29to be Captain fucking Ahab.
00:32:32Get it? Huh?
00:32:33Captain who?
00:32:34Captain Ahab. From the fucking...
00:32:38The book, motherfucker. From the book.
00:32:40Turn your fucking brain on.
00:32:42- Fuck you. - Jesus fuck, Robbie.
00:32:43Listen to me. We're a new company with a new name.
00:32:46A company that our clients can believe in.
00:32:50A company that our clients can trust.
00:32:53A firm whose roots are so deeply embedded into Wall Street
00:32:57that our very founders sailed over on the Mayflower
00:33:01and chiseled the name Stratton Oakmont
00:33:03right into Plymouth fucking Rock!
00:33:05You got it?
00:33:07What we're gonna do is this.
00:33:09First we pitch 'em Disney, AT&T, IBM,
00:33:12blue chip stocks exclusively.
00:33:14Companies these people know.
00:33:16Once we've suckered them in, we unload the dog shit.
00:33:20The pink sheets, the penny stocks,
00:33:22where we make the money.
00:33:24- 50% commission, baby. - Ooh.
00:33:26Now the key to making money in a situation like this
00:33:29is to position yourself now before the settlement.
00:33:33Because by the time you read about it in The Wall Street Journal,
00:33:35it's already too late.
00:33:38Then you wait.
00:33:40You wait.
00:33:41And whoever speaks first loses.
00:33:45Sorry, uh...
00:33:47I appreciate the call.
00:33:48I really have to give this some thought
00:33:51and talk to my wife about it.
00:33:53Can I call you back?
00:33:54They don't know, right? They gotta think about it,
00:33:55they gotta talk to their fucking wives, or the fucking Tooth Fairy.
00:33:58Point is, it doesn't matter what the fuck they say.
00:34:00The only real objection that they have is that they don't trust you guys.
00:34:03And why should they trust you? I mean, look at you.
00:34:05You're a bunch of fucking sleazy salesmen, right?
00:34:08So, what do you say?
00:34:10You mean to tell me that if I put you in at Union Carbide at 7
00:34:13and took you out at 32...
00:34:14Texas Instruments at 11 and took you out at 47...
00:34:17U.S. Steel at 16, took you out at 41...
00:34:20You wouldn't be saying to me right now, "Chester,
00:34:21"pick me up a few thousand shares of Disney
00:34:23"on the spot, right now. Come on."
00:34:25Honestly, Kevin? Honestly? Seriously?
00:34:27I don't know you.
00:34:28You cold-called me. You're a total stranger.
00:34:31I am in complete agreement with you.
00:34:32You don't know me, I don't know you.
00:34:34Let me introduce myself to you.
00:34:35My name is Alden Kupferberg.
00:34:36- Robbie Feinberg. - Chester Ming.
00:34:38I'm Senior Vice President at Stratton Oakmont...
00:34:40and I plan on being one of the...
00:34:41top brokers in my firm next year.
00:34:43And I'm not gonna get there by being wrong, Stanley.
00:34:46I do wanna say that you sound like a...
00:34:48You sound like a pretty sincere guy.
00:34:49It's not gonna make you rich
00:34:51and it's not gonna make you poor.
00:34:52But what this trade will do is serve as...
00:34:54a benchmark for future business, Kevin.
00:34:57You feel comfortable with me now, Scotty?
00:34:59And then you'll know for sure
00:35:00that you finally found a broker on Wall Street
00:35:02that you can trust,
00:35:04and who can consistently make you money.
00:35:07Sound fair enough?
00:35:11You know what... Yeah.
00:35:14I gotta say, I'm pretty impressed.
00:35:17What are you thinking?
00:35:20You give me one shot here
00:35:22on a blue chip stock like Kodak,
00:35:25and believe me, Kevin,
00:35:27the only problem you're gonna have
00:35:30is that you didn't buy more.
00:35:32Sound fair enough?
00:35:35Shit. My...
00:35:40My wife might divorce me, but...
00:35:42Yeah, let's do it.
00:35:45Excellent choice, Kevin.
00:35:46How much do you want to go for this time?
00:35:48Let's do 5... $5,000.
00:35:50Can we try 8,000, Kevin?
00:35:52All right. Let's do 10.
00:35:53- Ten. - You want to do that?
00:35:54Excellent choice!
00:35:55Kevin, let me lock in that trade right now
00:35:57and get back to you in a few minutes
00:35:58with an exact confirmation, Kevin.
00:36:00And welcome to Stratton Oakmont.
00:36:02Thanks, man. I'm gonna have a beer.
00:36:05This is fun.
00:36:06Take it easy, Kev.
00:36:07Hey, thanks, Jordan. Thanks a...
00:36:10Fuck that motherfucker!
00:36:12That's what I'm talking about!
00:36:17What a fucking idiot.
00:36:19The one thing I know about in this world is airlines.
00:36:22And Cuchon Airlines is the future of airlines.
00:36:26Get in now or...
00:36:27- I'm Nicky Koskoff... - Chester Ming...
00:36:29and I'm a Senior Vice President
00:36:30with Stratton Oakmont.
00:36:32Judy, I am so, so, so sorry for your loss.
00:36:36When did he pass?
00:36:37Just say I'm wrong, right.
00:36:38And the stock goes down a couple points...
00:36:39and it makes you, in the words of my grandfather,
00:36:41God rest his soul, "A shit ton of money."
00:36:44It's like getting in on fucking sunlight
00:36:45before there was fucking sunlight. You understand?
00:36:47Can we do 8,000 shares?
00:36:48Okay, 25,000.
00:36:52That's a very intelligent decision.
00:36:53I'm gonna transfer you to my sales associate.
00:36:57- Rhonda! - ...put you through to Andrea.
00:36:59Has anybody fucking seen Rhonda?
00:37:07Everybody have a good week?
00:37:11The end of the month.
00:37:12$28.7 million in gross commissions,
00:37:16all from pink sheet stock, boys!
00:37:20And to celebrate with our weekly act of debauchery,
00:37:23I have offered our lovely sales assistant,
00:37:25Danielle Harrison, here,
00:37:27$10,000 to shave her fucking head!
00:37:34Yeah, you want this?
00:37:36You want this?
00:37:37Let's scalp her! Scalp her!
00:37:39Let the scalping begin!
00:37:45Scalp! Scalp! Scalp!
00:37:49FYI, boys, Danielle has promised
00:37:51to use this $10,000 for breast implants!
00:37:54She's already got C cups,
00:37:55but now she wants fucking double D's!
00:37:58Is this a great fucking company or what?
00:38:03Is this the greatest company in the world?
00:38:10Blow the roof off this motherfucker!
00:38:42- Champagne? - Whoo!
00:38:48Send in the stripees!
00:39:41Word about us spread throughout Wall Street.
00:39:44Even the places I didn't want it to.
00:39:56It wasn't long before Forbes magazine,
00:39:58the flagship of Wall Street, called to do a profile on me.
00:40:01Let me ask you, how do you see the future for Stratton Oakmont?
00:40:05One word?
00:40:10Sounds good. Thank you so much. I have more than enough.
00:40:12- I appreciate your time. - Fantastic.
00:40:13Can we get a quick picture?
00:40:15A total fucking hatchet job.
00:40:19This conniving little twat! Look at this!
00:40:21"The Wolf of Wall Street" they call me. Look.
00:40:24Your hair looks good.
00:40:25- Well, my hair looks good. - Yeah.
00:40:26"Jordan Belfort,
00:40:28"sounding like a kind of twisted Robin Hood
00:40:30"who takes from the rich and gives to himself
00:40:33"and his merry little band of brokers."
00:40:35- Read that. Read it. - Listen.
00:40:37There is no such thing as bad publicity, sweetheart.
00:40:40Read the article, babe.
00:40:42Jordan, you look great! You're in a huge magazine.
00:40:45Big fucking deal I look great.
00:40:47Mr. Belfort! Can you look at my resume, please?
00:40:49Excuse me, excuse me, sir!
00:40:53Calm the fuck down!
00:40:55What the hell's all this?
00:40:57It's the Forbes article. They all want to work for you now.
00:41:00Hey! What did I say?
00:41:01I'm just trying to be nice.
00:41:02Hey, you want a job, you talk to me!
00:41:05- Mr. Belfort! - Give me one minute.
00:41:06Forbes made me a superstar.
00:41:10Every day, dozens of money-crazed kids beat a path to my door.
00:41:16If we hired 'em, they dropped straight out of college overnight
00:41:19and spent whatever allowance they had
00:41:21on a new suit from our Stratton tailor.
00:41:23Are you fucking serious right now?
00:41:25I mean, we were literally putting clothes on these kids' backs.
00:41:29And here comes this jerk-off sniffing around.
00:41:32But, you know, every time someone rises up in this world,
00:41:35there's always gonna be some asshole trying to drag him down.
00:41:40Within months, we doubled in size,
00:41:42moved to even bigger offices.
00:41:52It was a madhouse.
00:41:53A greed-fest,
00:41:55with equal parts cocaine, testosterone, and body fluids.
00:42:01It got so bad, I had to declare the office a fuck-free zone
00:42:05between the hours of 9:00 and 7:00.
00:42:07But I'm telling you, even that didn't help.
00:42:09Actually, the madness started on our very first day,
00:42:13when one of our brokers, Ben Jenner,
00:42:14christened the elevator by getting a blowjob
00:42:16from a sales assistant.
00:42:18Her name was Pam, and to her credit,
00:42:20she did have this amazing technique,
00:42:22with this wild twist and jerk motion.
00:42:25About a month later,
00:42:27Donnie and I decided to double-team her
00:42:29on a Saturday afternoon
00:42:30while our wives were out shopping for Christmas dresses.
00:42:33Eventually, Ben married her,
00:42:34which was pretty amazing considering she blew
00:42:37every single guy in the office.
00:42:39Then he got depressed and killed himself three years later.
00:42:43Anyway, I hired my dad, Max, to maintain order as the Enforcer.
00:42:47Stratton's very own Gestapo.
00:42:51We called him Mad Max because of his hair-trigger temper,
00:42:54which could be set off by something
00:42:55as innocuous as a ringing telephone.
00:42:59Who the fuck has the goddamn gall
00:43:02to call this house on a Tuesday night?
00:43:04God damn it!
00:43:07You're gonna miss it!
00:43:08Ooh, please, tell me something I don't know.
00:43:10I wait all week for the fucking Equalizer
00:43:12and they have to fucking... Hello.
00:43:15But as soon as he picked up the phone...
00:43:17Gene. How are you, Gene?
00:43:18he'd affect this weird British accent.
00:43:20Right-o, Gene, that'd be great.
00:43:24It was absolutely bizarre.
00:43:25The fucking halfwit!
00:43:26- He'd hang up... - You missed it!
00:43:27and then he's Mad Max all over again.
00:43:30Damn it!
00:43:31All right, tell me what happened. What happened?
00:43:33Well, he discovered it was the mother's sister.
00:43:35Who's he? Who? Tell me who...
00:43:37The main guy. You know who the main...
00:43:39The main guy...
00:43:40it was his mother's sister. She showed up dead.
00:43:44Of course, Mad Max didn't have to know
00:43:45everything we were doing at Stratton.
00:43:47And then there's a big target and we...
00:43:49They get launched at the target. They stick.
00:43:51There's a bull's-eye and the bull's-eye's a dollar sign.
00:43:53Whoever gets closer to the dollar sign...
00:43:55gets the most points.
00:43:56I'm gonna throw the shit out of this little fucking thing.
00:43:58So if it gets hurt, what happens?
00:44:00'Cause we're gonna get fucking nuts.
00:44:01I don't think he's gonna get hurt. They're like...
00:44:03They got like superhuman strength.
00:44:04I think he's gonna be fine.
00:44:06You can't look him right in the eyes.
00:44:08You can't look him in the eye?
00:44:09That's a fact. I saw it on PBS.
00:44:11They get confused and their wires get crossed.
00:44:13You gotta look at their chin.
00:44:14Like it looks like I'm looking at you
00:44:15but I'm looking at your chin.
00:44:17I feel like you're addressing me right now, but you're not, are you?
00:44:19They're like the Mona Lisa. They find eye contact,
00:44:21like, wherever you are standing in the room.
00:44:22And they lock in.
00:44:24No, but there is a limit to what we can do with them?
00:44:26We're allowed to throw shit at 'em.
00:44:28We're allowed to throw food? Bananas.
00:44:29Any food. Correct.
00:44:31But, for example, what I wouldn't do is
00:44:32maybe like tell him to pull his cock out
00:44:34and like get some of the girls to, you know,
00:44:35fondle him and shit like that.
00:44:37That would be... That's unacceptable?
00:44:38Let's keep that in our back pocket.
00:44:39This guy is more about throwing at the dartboard.
00:44:41Correct. Yes, yes, yes.
00:44:42The thing is, this is their gift, okay.
00:44:43They're built to be thrown like a lawn dart.
00:44:45They're top heavy like a lawn dart.
00:44:47So they're built for accuracy.
00:44:48Oh, my God. Can we bowl with this guy?
00:44:50That's his fucking brother, Rob.
00:44:51His brother's the bowling ball.
00:44:52The brother, you put a skateboard on him,
00:44:54you strap him to a skateboard,
00:44:56you toss him down an alley at some pins.
00:44:57- No shit. That's interesting. - Swear to fucking God.
00:44:59- Can we get that guy? - Yeah, we'll get that guy, too.
00:45:01But it says here this guy will show his cock. Yeah.
00:45:03- Instead of growing up. Yeah. - He will?
00:45:04They are very ornery by the way,
00:45:06so you gotta be very careful with these little guys.
00:45:07Safety first.
00:45:08Safety is first, all right?
00:45:10I want somebody with a fucking tranquilizer gun
00:45:11ready to knock this fucker out.
00:45:13- Do we want to get like a... - Mace. Taser guns.
00:45:15A pellet gun maybe?
00:45:17No, a pellet gun is gonna hurt him.
00:45:18I just want him out. Knocked out cold.
00:45:19But I say we stick with the loophole. Right? Okay?
00:45:22If we don't consider him a human,
00:45:24we just consider it an act, I think we're in the clear.
00:45:26Like The Flying Wallendas.
00:45:27You know, a lot of those guys died but they never sued anybody.
00:45:29The important thing you guys gotta keep in mind
00:45:31is that these things gossip.
00:45:33They get together and they gossip.
00:45:35- That's a good point. - And the last thing
00:45:36that we need is them getting together and saying,
00:45:38"Oh, they made fun of us."
00:45:40Like, it's gonna make Stratton look bad.
00:45:42That's why I love you. You think of shit like that.
00:45:44When they come in, we treat it just like one of us. Okay?
00:45:47One of us. Gooble gobble, one of us.
00:45:50We accept them, one of us!
00:45:52Gooble gobble, one of us.
00:45:54We accept them, one of us.
00:45:55Gooble gobble, one of us!
00:45:56Jordan! Your dad's coming.
00:45:58Something about the American Express bill.
00:45:59Can you get him out of here?
00:46:01Yeah. Lick my twat.
00:46:02No, I'm serious!
00:46:04Fuck. Guys, act like we're working.
00:46:06You got any fucking stock forms?
00:46:07He's coming, he's coming.
00:46:09Make some shit up.
00:46:10I think if we short Pfizer...
00:46:12$430,000 in one month, Jordy, huh?
00:46:17Four hundred and fucking 30,000 fucking dollars in one fucking month!
00:46:22Good morning. They're business expenses. Relax.
00:46:25- Business expenses? - Yes.
00:46:26- Jordy, look what you got here. - What?
00:46:28Look at this. $26,000 for one fucking dinner!
00:46:32Okay. No, no. This could be explained.
00:46:34Dad, we had clients. The Pfizer clients.
00:46:36Right. The porterhouse from Argentina.
00:46:38Expensive champagne and... We had to buy champagne.
00:46:40And you ordered all the fucking sides.
00:46:42- Tell him about the sides. - I ordered sides, so...
00:46:44Sides? $26,000 worth of sides?
00:46:48What are these sides? They cure cancer?
00:46:50The sides did cure cancer. That's the problem.
00:46:52That's why they were expensive.
00:46:53- Shut the fuck up. - I'm serious.
00:46:55- Stop. - And EJ Entertainment?
00:46:57What the fuck is EJ Entertainment?
00:47:00Well, that's, uh...
00:47:02Yeah, Jordy, what's EJ Entertainment?
00:47:03How do I describe this?
00:47:04Jord, what is that?
00:47:05- It's a fucking prostitution ring, Jordy! - I know.
00:47:08- That's what it is! - That is what it is.
00:47:10Isn't that the perfect description for it?
00:47:12That is what it is. But none of these were charged to me.
00:47:14This is all of them.
00:47:16- Oh, that was all us? - It wasn't me though.
00:47:18Fucking explain this shit to him!
00:47:20These are all of your fucking charges right here!
00:47:22The IRS, they allow for T&A. It's fine.
00:47:27Yeah. I said T&E.
00:47:29- No, no. You said T&A. - No, I didn't.
00:47:30Yeah, you did.
00:47:31- When did I say that? - You said T&A. It's T&E.
00:47:33I know you're upset about the dinner,
00:47:35and that makes sense because we did spend too much money. But I said T&E.
00:47:39Don't tell me what you said. I heard what you said.
00:47:41- Dad. He said T&A. - He did?
00:47:42Absolutely, no question.
00:47:44I'm trying to...
00:47:45I'm getting this close!
00:47:46- Dad, relax. - I'm getting this close.
00:47:47That's what I'm saying. I want you to open up more, Max.
00:47:50He's gonna fucking kill you.
00:47:51Why do you hold it in? Why do you...
00:47:53Max, why do you hold it in?
00:47:54That's it. Get the fuck out of here!
00:47:56- No, no, no! - Asshole, get out of here.
00:47:59What kind of hooker takes credit cards?
00:48:01A rich one.
00:48:02At Stratton, there were three kinds of hookers.
00:48:04The Blue Chips, top of the line, model material.
00:48:07They cost between $300 and $500
00:48:08and you had to wear a condom
00:48:10unless you gave them a hefty tip,
00:48:11which, of course, I always did.
00:48:13Then came the NASDAQs, who were pretty, not great.
00:48:17They cost between 200 and 300 bucks.
00:48:19Finally, there were the Pink Sheets. Skanks.
00:48:22They cost about 100 or less. If you didn't wear a condom,
00:48:25you'd have to get a penicillin shot
00:48:26the next day and pray your dick didn't fall off.
00:48:29Not that we didn't fuck them, too.
00:48:31Believe me, we did.
00:48:33Ow! It's that slipped disc thing again.
00:48:36I know what it is. You know, too much...
00:48:38with EJ Entertainment.
00:48:41How are things at home?
00:48:42Well, not the best.
00:48:44She just doesn't... You know what I'm saying?
00:48:47It's like the smell...
00:48:48There's a smell, there's an attraction thing.
00:48:50After a while it kind of fades away a little bit.
00:48:52Yeah, well. It's supposed to fade away.
00:48:54- Supposed to? - That's marriage. You know...
00:48:56Your mother and I, we've been married a long, long time.
00:48:59What do you think? We're, we're...
00:49:00We're jumping into bed every two minutes?
00:49:02- It doesn't work that way. - I love her to death.
00:49:04I want to stay married, Dad, but...
00:49:06It's crazy out there.
00:49:07Some of these girls... You should see them.
00:49:09Oh, my God!
00:49:11They're fucking...
00:49:12The things they're doing now, Pops.
00:49:14I mean... I mean, it's on a whole other level.
00:49:16- Really? - And they're all shaved, too.
00:49:18- Get out of here! - All shaven.
00:49:19- Are you kidding me? - Yeah.
00:49:21- Bald as a china doll. - No bush?
00:49:23- No bush. - Oh, my God!
00:49:25All of a sudden, one week, nobody had anything down there anymore.
00:49:29It's a new world.
00:49:30They're bald from the eyebrows down.
00:49:32- Wow. - Nothing. Not a stitch. It's like lasers.
00:49:35Wow. A new world.
00:49:37I was born too... Too early.
00:49:39I've never been a fan of the bush, to be honest.
00:49:42- Really? - Yeah.
00:49:43I don't mind it.
00:49:46I don't want you stressing out about any of this.
00:49:48How can I not get stressed out?
00:49:49Look at the knuckleheads you got working for you.
00:49:51I know they're knuckleheads
00:49:52but I need them to want to live like me, you get it?
00:49:55To live like me.
00:49:57One of these days, the chickens are gonna come home to roost.
00:50:03You're looking at me like I'm crazy.
00:50:05Crazy? This is obscene.
00:50:09It was obscene.
00:50:10In the normal world.
00:50:12But who the fuck wanted to live there?
00:50:15Go party your fucking cocks off!
00:50:21We are about to become fucking legends
00:50:25on Wall Street!
00:50:27We got plans up here that's gonna take this company
00:50:32into the fucking stratosphere!
00:50:38Wolfie! Wolfie!
00:50:43Fuck Merrill Lynch. Fuck them.
00:50:45Why should they be taking all our fucking money all the fucking time?
00:50:48This way we become the underwriters.
00:50:49It was our next big move.
00:50:51Finding companies to take public. IPOs.
00:50:54It was the only way these Wall Street pricks
00:50:56would ever stop thinking of us as some shitkicker bucket shop.
00:51:00We got Arncliffe International.
00:51:01See, we were a little different.
00:51:03We liked to get as fucked up as possible during our business powwows
00:51:07in order to stimulate our free-flowing ideas,
00:51:09which is why we were popping these ludes like they were M&M's.
00:51:13Steve Madden.
00:51:16We own the fucking companies...
00:51:17We own the companies...
00:51:19Don't know what a lude is? I'll tell you.
00:51:21Oh. Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:51:23Looks like those ludes are working their magic on Donnie right now.
00:52:01The Quaalude,
00:52:03or lude, as it is commonly referred to,
00:52:06was first synthesized in 1951
00:52:08by an Indian doctor, that's dots, not feathers,
00:52:11as a sedative,
00:52:13and was prescribed to stressed-out housewives with sleep disorders.
00:52:17But pretty soon someone figured out
00:52:19that if you resisted the urge to sleep for just 15 minutes,
00:52:23you got a pretty kick-ass high from it.
00:52:26Didn't take long for people to start abusing ludes, of course.
00:52:30And in 1982, the U-S. government Schedule 1'd them.
00:52:33Along with the rest of the world.
00:52:35Which meant there was only a finite amount of these things left.
00:52:39No shit, you can't even buy 'em anymore.
00:52:42You people are all shit out of luck.
00:52:44What are you saying? What is it?
00:52:46Steve Madden.
00:52:47Steve Madden.
00:52:52You remember those ads?
00:52:53Those giant-headed girls with the bug eyes
00:52:56wearing those big clunky shoes?
00:52:58My friend from school, Steve Madden.
00:53:00His friend from school, Steve Madden.
00:53:01Steve Madden was the name in women's shoes at the moment.
00:53:04And all of Wall Street was begging to take his company public.
00:53:08Go ahead, go ahead, what is it?
00:53:09Except, guess who grew up with him?
00:53:11- Women's shoes. - Women's shoes.
00:53:13My very own Vice President.
00:53:16Women's shoes!
00:53:17Diamond Donnie Azoff.
00:53:20- Steve Madden. - Steve.
00:53:23Hey, JB, JB, JB, JB.
00:53:24You gotta come check this fucking chick out.
00:53:26Look at this. Look.
00:53:32I would fuck that girl if she was my sister.
00:53:35I would let that girl give me fucking AIDS.
00:53:38You want to see the Wolf handle this?
00:53:43She's hot.
00:53:51Jordan, this is my friend Naomi.
00:53:53- Hi. Nice to meet you. - Naomi.
00:53:56Naomi, nice to meet you.
00:53:57You got an awesome place here.
00:53:59I've don't think I've ever been in a house this big before.
00:54:01- Oh, really? - Yeah.
00:54:03Beautiful beach out there.
00:54:04Blair Hollingsworth.
00:54:06Hi, Blair. Nice to meet you.
00:54:08- Your name's Blair, right? - Yeah.
00:54:09You like to Jet Ski?
00:54:11I've never done it before.
00:54:12You've never Jet Ski'd in your life?
00:54:13No, I've never Jet Ski'd.
00:54:15You've never been on a Jet Ski?
00:54:16How many times are you gonna ask her?
00:54:17She's never been on a Jet Ski.
00:54:19I don't know. Might ask her a couple more times.
00:54:22Okay. Sure.
00:54:25Hi. I'm Hildy. Nice to meet you.
00:54:27- Hi. - Jordan, Teresa needs your help.
00:54:29Yeah, I'll be out in a couple of minutes.
00:54:31Just tell her I'll be out in a couple of minutes.
00:54:32Why don't you tell your wife that?
00:54:34I might do that, but I'm having
00:54:35- a conversation right now. - What am I, your secretary?
00:54:36You know what, I think we should get going.
00:54:38Wait, wait. Where you guys going?
00:54:40We gotta go. We got two other parties to go to.
00:54:41- We can stay for a drink. - Yeah, stay for a drink.
00:54:43No. We got two other parties we're supposed to get to.
00:54:45But we can stay for a drink...
00:54:50- You like champagne? - I do.
00:54:51She's perfect.
00:54:52Donnie, what the fuck are you doing?
00:54:54You piece of...
00:55:03You're gonna have to excuse my friend. He gets...
00:55:06Get the fuck out!
00:55:07Jordan, you gotta fuck her, bro. She's so hot!
00:55:09Yeah, Donnie!
00:55:12Let him fucking finish, Hildy.
00:55:14That's fucking rude.
00:55:16Have some fucking manners.
00:55:21So, Bay Ridge, that's near Staten Island, right?
00:55:23Brooklyn, across the Verrazano Bridge.
00:55:26Saturday Night Fever territory.
00:55:27That's right. Guinea Gulch.
00:55:29We call the Verrazano Bridge the Guinea Gangplank.
00:55:32So I presume you're Italian?
00:55:34On my dad's side.
00:55:35I'm also Dutch, German, English.
00:55:39I'm a mutt.
00:55:41Yeah. You're a mutt.
00:55:42Yeah, I still have family over there though, in London.
00:55:44My Aunt Emma. She's the best.
00:55:47Very British, you know. She's a classy lady.
00:55:50That explains it then.
00:55:52Explains what?
00:55:53It explains you. I mean, you're a duchess, right?
00:55:56The Duchess of Bay Ridge.
00:56:01Excuse me.
00:56:02Could I get a straw, please?
00:56:05Thank you.
00:56:10So I was, um, a little surprised
00:56:13you asked Cristy for my number.
00:56:16Why is that?
00:56:19Aren't you married?
00:56:22Well... Yeah, but what?
00:56:25Married people can't have friends?
00:56:29We're gonna be friends?
00:56:32Yeah. You don't want to be my friend?
00:56:39We're not gonna be friends.
00:56:49And at night I work on my designs.
00:56:52I have an entire line of lingerie.
00:56:55You know, camisoles, bustiers, panties.
00:56:58She designs women's panties, too?
00:57:01Oh, my God!
00:57:13Come on, Jordan, think of a way to get up to her apartment.
00:57:21You wanna come up for some tea or something?
00:57:25Tea? Yeah.
00:57:26- Like hot tea? - Yeah.
00:57:28Oh, yeah. That sounds nice. Yeah.
00:57:30Tea. Fuck, yeah, I wanted to come up for tea.
00:57:32Like Darjeeling or rose hip, something nice like that?
00:57:36This is Rocky.
00:57:38Oh, who's this? Say hi, Rocky.
00:57:40Hi, sweetheart.
00:57:43Why don't you light a fire or something and I'll be right out.
00:57:46- Yeah. Fire, here? - Sure.
00:57:52I like your painting here. It's, uh...
00:58:00God, help me. How do I fuck this girl?
00:58:06You all right?
00:58:08Yeah, yeah. Just trying to light the fire here.
00:58:16That's it. That's it, you're leaving.
00:58:17Don't get involved. Go home to your wife.
00:58:29As you can probably guess,
00:58:31I fucked her goddamn brains out...
00:58:34Jesus Lord!
00:58:38For 11 seconds.
00:58:51Did you just come?
00:58:52Oh, yeah, I just came.
00:58:55Did you? Did you come?
00:58:57- No. - No?
00:59:00I'm still hard so just give me a sec.
00:59:05Come on, baby, come on.
00:59:09Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
00:59:17Oh, God!
00:59:18Fuck off, Rocky! Bad dog.
00:59:20You have a biscuit or something like that?
00:59:22It's okay.
00:59:23- Just keep going. - Rocky, go play.
00:59:25Go play, Rocky. Go, go, go, go.
00:59:29You're crazy.
00:59:30I couldn't get enough.
00:59:32I mean, her pussy was like heroin to me.
00:59:34And it wasn't just about the sex, either.
00:59:37Naomi and I got along. I mean, we...
00:59:39We had similar interests and shit.
00:59:46Ooh. Choo-choo train.
00:59:56I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.
01:00:06Yeah, yeah. Let's toke it all on there, huh?
01:00:11Oh, shit!
01:00:24Get out of the fucking car!
01:00:27Jesus Christ.
01:00:28Son of a bitch! Oh, fuck!
01:00:32Relax, sweetheart. Relax.
01:00:34- Son of a fucking bitch! - Okay, okay... Geez!
01:00:37Okay, babe, stop!
01:00:38- Please. - Bitch!
01:00:41- What are you doing... - That whore from the party?
01:00:43Jesus Christ!
01:00:44What the fuck is wrong with you?
01:00:45I thought you were at the fucking beach!
01:00:47I didn't know you were here!
01:00:48That's where you've fucking been?
01:00:50With that fucking whore from the party?
01:00:52I thought you were at the beach house.
01:00:53How could you do this to me?
01:00:55- Sweetie, come on... - Who the fuck are you, Jordan?
01:00:57You're like a completely different fucking person!
01:01:00I made a mistake. I don't know what to tell you, babe. I...
01:01:04I'm sorry.
01:01:06- I'm sorry. - Is that who... Is that what you want?
01:01:18Do you love her?
01:01:25Answer me.
01:01:48I felt horrible.
01:01:51Three days later, I filed for a divorce
01:01:53and moved Naomi into the apartment.
01:02:00Say what you will,
01:02:01but the Duchess did have style.
01:02:03She brought in a decorator, feng shui'd the whole place.
01:02:06She even hired a gay butler.
01:02:09This guy was smart, sophisticated, professional
01:02:11Really, really great.
01:02:13Is that jasmine?
01:02:15Yes, sir. I tried to stump you this evening. Very good.
01:02:18Very good. Great nose.
01:02:20Except for that one time.
01:02:27Oh, my God!
01:02:29Oh, hey.
01:02:31Is it Wednesday already?
01:02:34- Uh... - Oh, don't stop.
01:02:35What the fuck!
01:02:36That is fucked up!
01:02:39He must have thought we were still
01:02:40at the Hamptons this weekend, you know.
01:02:42Where were they doing it, sweetheart? In the bedroom?
01:02:43They were everywhere. There were two guys over there on the table.
01:02:46There were more over here.
01:02:47- There were four right here. - Ugh!
01:02:49Are you fucking serious? Right there?
01:02:50- Why didn't you tell me? - Oh, baby, it gets worse.
01:02:55After they left, I checked the apartment.
01:02:57Right. What?
01:02:59What is it, babe? What?
01:03:01Where's my money?
01:03:02I don't know where your money...
01:03:03Where is my fucking money? Where is it?
01:03:05I don't know where your money is, Mr. Belfort.
01:03:07- I didn't do anything. - If you don't get...
01:03:10He's lying through his fucking teeth.
01:03:11Let's start from the beginning.
01:03:12Let's start from the beginning, all right?
01:03:14You invited some friends over, right?
01:03:16One thing led to another. Things got out of hand.
01:03:17We understand that, we do.
01:03:19We do blow all the time. We're fucking degenerates ourselves.
01:03:21Look at us, right?
01:03:23But money was stolen from my apartment.
01:03:24Right from my sock drawer. All right?
01:03:26Like I said, I don't know where your money is.
01:03:28Just start from the beginning. Who came over?
01:03:30It was just a normal day.
01:03:31I knew you were coming home the next day.
01:03:32So everything would be fine. It'd be cleaned up.
01:03:34I got a little high at breakfast.
01:03:36So I got a little happy. I had some eggs,
01:03:38I had a little bit of ice cream.
01:03:39And then I said, "Who do I know that likes ice cream?"
01:03:41It's my friend, Rudy. So I called Rudy.
01:03:43- Who's Rudy? - Yeah, who's Rudy?
01:03:47- You know who Rudy is. Come on. - Me? I don't...
01:03:50- You know... - Who the fuck is Rudy?
01:03:51I don't know anyone named Rudy.
01:03:53Last month. The Lollipop Club.
01:03:54You know who Rudy was. Dancing...
01:03:55You know who Rudy is?
01:03:58I don't fucking know any...
01:04:00What do you mean?
01:04:01So he went to The Lollipop Club?
01:04:02Oh, he was at The Lollipop Club for sure.
01:04:04On the stage, grinding with everybody.
01:04:05I got fucked up. I like to dance.
01:04:08I don't know. Maybe I met him, maybe I didn't.
01:04:09I meet a lot of fucking people.
01:04:11- What are you saying? - $50,000 was stolen
01:04:13from my fucking sock drawer!
01:04:14All my girlfriend's jewelry is gone.
01:04:16- Where the fuck is it? - ...Rudy. What the fuck?
01:04:18Did your fucking little faggot friend Rudy take my shit?
01:04:20Did he? Answer me!
01:04:22Okay. Now I get it. Now I get why I'm...
01:04:24- This is a gay thing. - Oh!
01:04:25See, all of you...
01:04:27You think this is 'cause you're a fag?
01:04:29My cousin's a fucking faggot.
01:04:31And I go on vacation with him and his boyfriend. I love fags.
01:04:33You were in charge, right?
01:04:34I will not be stolen from. You get that?
01:04:36I fucking like gay people. I don't like you.
01:04:38He should've hired a fucking Mexican
01:04:40like I have in my fucking house.
01:04:43Shit! What the fuck...
01:04:48Talk, you fuck, talk!
01:04:50I'm gonna drop you, you faggot!
01:04:51Where is it?
01:04:53Chester and Toby, they went all yakuza on Nicholas.
01:04:56You know, they got crazy.
01:04:57I don't know!
01:04:58I had to call the cops just to keep them from killing the poor guy.
01:05:02I gave them each 1,000 bucks
01:05:03and told them what Nicholas had done.
01:05:06Then they kicked his ass.
01:05:07Thanks again, Officer.
01:05:09It's not like I cared about the 50 grand anyway.
01:05:12I was making that much almost every day
01:05:13through one rathole or another.
01:05:16Now a rathole is a friend, like Brad here,
01:05:19who held stock in his name for me.
01:05:21Who are you supposed to be, huh? Jack Nickle-Jew?
01:05:24I'd drive the price up then he'd sell
01:05:26and kick most of the profits back to...
01:05:29You guessed it, me.
01:05:33All cash. None of it's on the books.
01:05:36A big no-no, of course, in the eyes of the law.
01:05:39Enter our new securities attorney, Manny Riskin.
01:05:43700 bucks an hour to be the voice of doom.
01:05:46Listen to me. You piss up the SEC's leg,
01:05:48you end up with your tits in a ringer.
01:05:49Do not worry about it. I have the SEC under control.
01:05:52What the fuck are these imbeciles doing?
01:05:55Hey! Hey!
01:05:56What are you doing? Hey!
01:05:58We got the SEC in here.
01:06:00The Securities and Exchange Commission
01:06:02sent two lawyers down to review our files.
01:06:05So I set them up in our conference room
01:06:07and I had it bugged
01:06:08and the air conditioning turned up so high
01:06:10that it felt like Antarctica in there.
01:06:12Is it always this cold in here?
01:06:14I don't know.
01:06:15Then, while they were looking
01:06:16for a smoking gun in that room...
01:06:18Arncliffe International is on fire.
01:06:20I was gonna fire off a bazooka in here,
01:06:23offering up our latest IPO.
01:06:25An IPO is an initial public offering.
01:06:28It's the first time a stock is offered for sale to the general population.
01:06:32Now, as the firm taking the company public,
01:06:34we set the initial sales price
01:06:35then sold those shares right back to our friends. The...
01:06:40I know you're not following what I'm saying anyway, right?
01:06:42That's okay. That doesn't matter.
01:06:44The real question is this.
01:06:46"Was all this legal?"
01:06:48Absolutely fucking not.
01:06:50But we were making more money than we knew what to do with.
01:06:57And what do you do when you're making
01:06:58more money than you know what to do with?
01:07:06Oh, my God!
01:07:07Will you marry me?
01:07:10Oh, my God.
01:07:11Is that a yes?
01:07:14Are you sure?
01:07:15Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah, I'm sure.
01:07:17- Are you sure? - Yeah.
01:07:29I held my bachelor party at the Mirage in Las Vegas.
01:07:33The flight there alone was a bacchanal.
01:07:35One last blowout for the gods
01:07:37before I settled down for good.
01:07:40A hundred Strattonites,
01:07:4150 hookers, plus 50 more waiting once we landed.
01:07:45Oh, and the drugs.
01:07:46I mean, I tell you, our plane was like a pharmacy with wings.
01:08:19All told, the weekend cost me 2 million bucks,
01:08:24including the cost of refurbishing the entire 28th floor.
01:08:29kiss the bride.
01:08:32Ah! But the wedding
01:08:33was something out of a fairy tale.
01:08:36With Naomi, my Duchess,
01:08:39me, her handsome Duke,
01:08:40and The Bahamas Ocean Club, our castle.
01:08:54Of course, after the bachelor party, me, the Duke,
01:08:57needed a few penicillin shots so he could
01:09:00safely consummate the marriage.
01:09:07Hey! Barry Kleinman, filming the wedding.
01:09:09A few words for your son?
01:09:11Jordan. Remember what I told you.
01:09:14It involves your penis and her vagina.
01:09:17And you know, you know what you can do, Jordy.
01:09:37Oh, my God!
01:09:39Aunt Emma?
01:09:44I can't believe you came!
01:09:47Jordan! Jordan! Look who came!
01:09:51It's Aunt Emma.
01:09:53Aunt Emma.
01:09:54- Oh, Jordan, dear, how lovely. - Hey, how you doing?
01:09:57It's a pleasure to finally meet you in person.
01:10:00Into the donuts, I see.
01:10:02Oh, I... I...
01:10:06I lived through the '60s, my dear.
01:10:09Enjoy the day.
01:10:11She surprised me. I didn't even know.
01:10:27Just one more step. Are you ready?
01:10:29- Where are we going? - Keep your eyes closed.
01:10:30One, two, three!
01:10:34What is this?
01:10:35It's your wedding present.
01:10:38It's your wedding present, sweetheart.
01:10:42- Are you serious? - I'm serious.
01:10:44A fucking yacht?
01:10:46For millionaires whose ships have come in,
01:10:48pricey pleasure boats are for the most fun afloat.
01:10:51It's no coincidence that its 150 feet of green hull
01:10:55is the color of cash. Anchors aweigh!
01:10:57Oh, my God! Baby!
01:11:01- I think you like it? - You're crazy.
01:11:03- You like it? - Yes!
01:11:10For three weeks, we sailed the Naomi through the Caribbean,
01:11:13eventually taking her home to Long Island,
01:11:15where we bought a house.
01:11:16Seven acres on the Gold Coast of Long Island.
01:11:19The most expensive real estate in the world.
01:11:22With maids, cooks, landscapers, you name it.
01:11:24We even had two guards who worked in shifts.
01:11:27Both named Rocco.
01:11:32It was heaven on earth.
01:11:37Wake up, you piece of shit!
01:11:39- Ow! - Who's Venice?
01:11:40- Huh? "Who?
01:11:42Who? Who?
01:11:43"Who?" What are you, a fucking owl?
01:11:45Who is she?
01:11:46Some little hooker you were fucking last night?
01:11:47What the fuck are you talking about? No.
01:11:49No way, baby, no!
01:11:51You were calling her name in your sleep!
01:11:54Are you out of your fucking mind? I don't...
01:11:57I don't even know who Venice is.
01:11:58What the fuck does that even mean? Venice.
01:12:01That's the stupidest shit I've ever heard in my fucking life!
01:12:10Venice, baby, where are you?
01:12:17Where'd you go?
01:12:22Oh, baby. Oh, you're gonna play rough, huh?
01:12:25- Oh, Jesus Christ! - You like that?
01:12:29I like it. I like it. Ow.
01:12:32Wolfie, Wolfie, Wolfie, Wolfie.
01:12:35Yeah, it's my safe word, baby. It's my safe word.
01:12:36I don't give a fuck about your safe word!
01:12:38- Come on! - Shut the fuck up!
01:12:40- Ahh! - Shut up, you little bitch!
01:12:43You're a fucking dirty little birdy!
01:12:47That's right.
01:12:48That's right! I forgot.
01:12:49I forgot, baby.
01:12:51Donnie and I were investing
01:12:53in a condominium complex in Venice.
01:12:55That's why all this confusion.
01:12:57Oh, you're investing in Italy?
01:12:58Not Italy. California.
01:13:00- Oh, California? - Yeah.
01:13:02You're a lying piece of shit!
01:13:03Duchess, baby, come on.
01:13:04Don't you fucking "Duchess" me.
01:13:06Don't you "Duchess" me!
01:13:07Do you really think that I don't know what you're up to?
01:13:10- You're a father now, Jordan. - Yeah.
01:13:12- You're a father now. - I know...
01:13:14And you're still acting like an infant!
01:13:16God damn it!
01:13:19Baby, you know, you got real anger issues.
01:13:22Who is the one who flew in here
01:13:24at 3:00 in the morning on their stupid helicopter
01:13:27and woke up Skylar? That was you!
01:13:29Oh, Skylar! Oh, fucking bullshit!
01:13:42Does it even matter to you
01:13:44that I just had that driving range
01:13:47sodded with Bermuda grass, Jordan,
01:13:50- and now you fucking wrecked it! - Oh, my God... Bermuda grass.
01:13:52No, you didn't research the whole thing
01:13:54and deal with the fucking golf course people!
01:13:56Oh, my God,
01:13:57you had to deal with the golf course people, too!
01:14:00What a Greek tragedy, honey! Oh, my God!
01:14:03You probably had to pay them in cash with your hands!
01:14:05What a fucking burden.
01:14:07And actually do some work besides swiping
01:14:09my fucking credit card all day, huh?
01:14:11Because I can't keep track of your professions, honey.
01:14:14'Cause last month you were a wine connoisseur.
01:14:16Now you're an aspiring landscape architect!
01:14:18- Let me get that right... No! - Fuck you!
01:14:20Don't fucking dare throw that
01:14:22fucking water at me. Don't you fucking dare.
01:14:25All right, honey?
01:14:27Now will you just...
01:14:28We could talk this out, all right?
01:14:30We just use our words. You know?
01:14:36Come on, sweetheart.
01:14:37Talk to me. Talk to me.
01:14:39Stop flexing your muscles, Jordan.
01:14:41You look like a fucking imbecile.
01:14:43Babe, come on.
01:14:44You should feel happy you got a husband
01:14:48who's in such great shape like this, huh?
01:14:51Come here.
01:14:52Come on, give me a kiss.
01:14:54You look so beautiful right now.
01:14:55- Come on. - Kiss you?
01:14:56- You look so beautiful... - Kiss you?
01:14:57Yeah, give me one...
01:15:00Fuck you!
01:15:01Ah, yes, my morning ritual.
01:15:04First I'd get up and fight with Naomi
01:15:06about whatever it is I did the night before.
01:15:08Next was a steam so I could sweat out
01:15:10the drugs still in my system.
01:15:12Then I'd assess the damage.
01:15:14Drown out my eyeballs.
01:15:16Take my "back pills" to get the day started,
01:15:19then seek to make up with Naomi.
01:15:21Good morning, Daddy.
01:15:23Where's my kiss?
01:15:27Hey, sweetheart.
01:15:30Does Daddy get a kiss from both of his little girls, huh?
01:15:33Oh, no.
01:15:35No, Daddy doesn't even get to touch Mommy
01:15:38for a very, very,
01:15:40very long time.
01:15:42Daddy's really sorry about what he said in the other room.
01:15:45He didn't mean any of it.
01:15:46Daddy shouldn't waste his time.
01:15:49And from now on,
01:15:52it's gonna be nothing but short,
01:15:54short skirts around the house.
01:15:59And you know something else, Daddy?
01:16:03Mommy is just so sick and tired of wearing panties.
01:16:10- Yeah? - Yeah.
01:16:15In fact,
01:16:18she's decided to throw them
01:16:21all away.
01:16:30So take a good look, Daddy.
01:16:32You're gonna be seeing an awful lot of this around the house.
01:16:35Oh, baby...
01:16:37Yeah, Mommy.
01:16:39- Yeah... - But no touching.
01:16:42Oh, gosh.
01:16:48What's wrong, Daddy?
01:16:49Mmm, baby.
01:16:56Look at this shit.
01:16:57Okay. Mommy likes to play games with Daddy.
01:17:03Mommy, have you ever noticed
01:17:05anything odd about Mr...
01:17:08Mr. Fuzzy Bear over there?
01:17:11His eyes seem to be a little bit odd, don't they?
01:17:15Yeah, there's something a little bit different about his eyes.
01:17:18Yes! I think it's true. Say "Hi," Mommy.
01:17:22Say "Hi" to Rocco and Rocco.
01:17:24- Say "Hi." Hi, fellas.
01:17:25See that, huh?
01:17:27Of all the fucking days,
01:17:28she chooses today to give me blue balls!
01:17:31I mean, today was the biggest day in Stratton's history,
01:17:33and I needed to be thinking straight.
01:17:35Hey, Jordan!
01:17:37- Welcome. - Steve here yet?
01:17:39This was the day that we launched the Steve Madden IPO.
01:17:42Troops are all here, everyone's all rallied, excited.
01:17:44Everything had to run tight.
01:17:46It had to be perfect.
01:17:47What the fuck is that kid doing?
01:17:50What's he doing?
01:17:52The biggest IPO in this firm's history.
01:17:54What the fuck is he doing?
01:17:57Is he... Is he wearing a bow tie?
01:18:02How're you doing?
01:18:05You cleaning the fish bowl?
01:18:08I just... I had a minute and...
01:18:10You had a minute.
01:18:12And today you needed to clean the fish bowl? Today?
01:18:14I had finished my paperwork and I had a couple of minutes.
01:18:18Okay. Nice to meet you.
01:18:26On new issue day?
01:18:29On cocksucking, motherfucking new issue day?
01:18:32This is what you do?
01:18:33Hey, everybody, listen up!
01:18:36This is what happens when you fuck with your pets on new issue day!
01:18:53Take your little bow tie, get your shit,
01:18:55and get the fuck out of my office! You understand?
01:18:57Get the fuck out!
01:19:02Everybody on point!
01:19:04We are here to make money. Everybody on point.
01:19:09A real wolf pit, which is exactly how I liked it.
01:19:12Jordan, look what I caught in the lobby. I caught a genius.
01:19:15Enter Steve Madden.
01:19:16The great American cobbler.
01:19:17Red-hot ladies footwear Impresario.
01:19:20And thanks to Donnie, we were taking his company public.
01:19:23Stratton Oakmont was crawling out of the primordial ooze.
01:19:27Pond scum no more.
01:19:30That's why they gotta see your face.
01:19:31You get them fired up so they push the shit out of this stock. Okay?
01:19:33And not only that, Donnie and I secretly owned
01:19:3685% of Steve Madden Shoes,
01:19:39which legally speaking was a big no-no,
01:19:41but we'd get filthy fucking rich if our troops got behind it.
01:19:45Our job was to get them worked up.
01:19:47- But not too worked up. - Shh.
01:19:51Hello. If, uh...
01:19:53For those of you who don't know me, uh...
01:19:55My name's Steve Madden.
01:19:56Yeah, we know who you are.
01:19:58Your name is on the box.
01:20:00Get the shoes. Show them the shoes.
01:20:01- Show them the shoes. - Okay. Yeah.
01:20:03Anyway, you know, this shoe is pretty cool.
01:20:06This is the Mary Lou, which is really the shoe that put me on the map.
01:20:09Without it, I wouldn't be here.
01:20:11It's a fat girls' shoe!
01:20:12Believe it or not... Believe it or not though,
01:20:14the Mary Lou is actually the same
01:20:16as the Mary Jane, but it's black leather.
01:20:22Whoa, whoa, whoa!
01:20:24Fight back! Come on! Where you at? Where you at?
01:20:27All right!
01:20:28Let's give it up for Steve Madden and his awesome Mary Lou!
01:20:32Hold that up. Hold that up. Hold that up proud!
01:20:34Give him a round of applause!
01:20:38You guys got that out of your systems, huh?
01:20:41You having a good afternoon or what?
01:20:43I wanna take a moment and tell you why Steve here is so
01:20:46absolutely off the fucking wall.
01:20:50It's because this man
01:20:52is a creative genius.
01:20:54This ability, this gift
01:20:56that Steve has,
01:20:58it goes beyond just
01:20:59spotting the hottest shoe trends.
01:21:01Steve's power is that he creates trends.
01:21:05You understand?
01:21:07Artists like Steve come along once every decade.
01:21:09I'm talking Giorgio Armani, Gianni Versace, Coco Chanel,
01:21:13Yves Saint Laurent.
01:21:15Steve, come over here for a second.
01:21:16I don't think you all realize
01:21:19that Steve Madden
01:21:21is the hottest person in the women's shoe industry,
01:21:24with orders going through the roof
01:21:26at every department store in North America right now.
01:21:29We have him here in our office!
01:21:33We should thank our fucking lucky stars this man is here!
01:21:35We should be on our hands and knees right now,
01:21:38getting ready to suck this guy off!
01:21:40Like this! Okay?
01:21:43I wanna suck you off, Steve!
01:21:46Everyone's gonna suck you off!
01:21:48This is our golden ticket
01:21:49to the fucking chocolate factory right here!
01:21:52And I wanna meet
01:21:54Willy fucking Wonka, okay?
01:21:57I wanna be with the fucking Oompa Loompas like this!
01:22:03All right, get off this fucking stage! Get out of here.
01:22:06All right, I want you all to focus for a second.
01:22:09See those little black boxes?
01:22:12They're called telephones.
01:22:13I'm gonna let you in on a little secret about these telephones.
01:22:16They're not gonna dial themselves. Okay?
01:22:18Without you, they're just worthless hunks of plastic.
01:22:23Like a loaded M16 without a trained Marine to pull the trigger.
01:22:27And in the case of the telephone,
01:22:30it's up to each and every one of you,
01:22:34my highly-trained Strattonites.
01:22:37My killers!
01:22:39My killers, who will not take no for an answer!
01:22:43My fucking warriors,
01:22:45who will not hang up the phone
01:22:48until their client either buys
01:22:51or fucking dies!
01:23:08Let me tell you something.
01:23:09There is no nobility in poverty.
01:23:13I have been a rich man and I have been a poor man.
01:23:16And I choose rich every fucking time.
01:23:20Because at least as a rich man,
01:23:21when I have to face my problems,
01:23:22I show up in the back of a limo,
01:23:24wearing a $2,000 suit
01:23:26and a $40,000 gold fucking watch!
01:23:33Duke it out! Hit him!
01:23:34Get the fuck off me!
01:23:37And if anyone here thinks I'm superficial
01:23:40or materialistic,
01:23:41go get a job at fucking McDonald's,
01:23:44'cause that's where you fucking belong!
01:23:48But before you depart this room full of winners,
01:23:52I want you to take a good look
01:23:54at the person next to you. Go on.
01:23:56Because sometime in the not-so-distant future,
01:23:59you're gonna be pulling up to a red light
01:24:00in your beat-up old fucking Pinto,
01:24:03and that person's gonna be pulling up right alongside you
01:24:06in their brand new Porsche
01:24:09with their beautiful wife by their side,
01:24:11who's got big voluptuous tits.
01:24:15And who're you gonna be sitting next to?
01:24:17Some disgusting wildebeest
01:24:19with three days of razor-stubble,
01:24:20in a sleeveless muumuu,
01:24:22crammed in next to you in a carload full of groceries
01:24:24from the fucking Price Club!
01:24:26That's who you're gonna be sitting next to!
01:24:28So you listen to me and you listen well.
01:24:31Are you behind on your credit card bills?
01:24:33Good! Pick up the phone and start dialing!
01:24:36Is your landlord ready to evict you? Good!
01:24:39Pick up the phone and start dialing!
01:24:41Does your girlfriend think you're a fucking worthless loser?
01:24:45Good! Pick up the phone and start dialing!
01:24:48I want you to deal with your problems
01:24:50by becoming rich!
01:24:53All you have to do today
01:24:55is pick up that phone
01:24:58and speak the words that I have taught you.
01:25:01And I will make you richer
01:25:03than the most powerful CEO
01:25:05in the United States of fucking America!
01:25:09Fuck, yeah!
01:25:10I want you to go out there
01:25:13and I want you to ram
01:25:15Steve Madden stock down your clients' throats
01:25:19until they fucking choke on it!
01:25:21Till they choke on it and they buy
01:25:24100,000 shares! That's what I want.
01:25:26Yeah! Fuck, yeah.
01:25:27You be ferocious!
01:25:29- You be relentless! - Yeah!
01:25:31You be telephone fucking terrorists!
01:25:36Now let's knock this motherfucker out of the park!
01:26:10At 1:00 p.m., we opened the stock for sale at $4.50 a share.
01:26:15By 1:03, it was over $18.
01:26:18Even the big Wall Street firms were buying.
01:26:30Of the two million shares offered for sale,
01:26:32a million belonged to me, held in phony accounts by my ratholes.
01:26:35Now once the price hit the high teens...
01:26:37You know what? Who gives a shit?
01:26:40As always, the point is this.
01:26:42$22 million in three fucking hours!
01:26:47Can you believe this shit?
01:26:49- I fucking love this, baby! - It's amazing!
01:26:53Barry Kleinman's on the phone
01:26:55- from Future Video. - Who?
01:26:56I don't know. He shot at your wedding.
01:26:58He says it's urgent.
01:26:59Urgent? Who the fuck is Barry Kleinman?
01:27:01Oh, my God, you wanna marry me?
01:27:03You're in love with me?
01:27:04Yeah. Go fuck your cousin!
01:27:05Hey, Barry, what's up?
01:27:06Listen, I got this subpoena.
01:27:08Subpoena? What the fuck are you talking about?
01:27:10Yeah, the FBI, they want a copy
01:27:11of your wedding video.
01:27:13The fucking FBI?
01:27:14- You fucking kidding me? - Listen to me.
01:27:16His name is Denham.
01:27:17He's an agent with the New York office.
01:27:19What's his problem?
01:27:20He's a Boy Scout. He thinks you're fucking Gordon Gekko.
01:27:24What does he want with my wedding video?
01:27:25It's like an invasion of my privacy.
01:27:27You know what I'm saying? It's like...
01:27:28It's intrusive, you know.
01:27:30He's got pictures of your whole inner fucking circle.
01:27:33Pictures, names of the people.
01:27:35You know what he's trying to do?
01:27:36Exactly what he's doing. Look at yourself.
01:27:37He's trying to rattle you,
01:27:38he's trying to rattle your old lady,
01:27:40so she nags you until you become a fucking witness.
01:27:43He wants me to rat on myself?
01:27:44He wants me to give information about my...
01:27:46Listen. The good fucking news is,
01:27:48you know I know everybody downtown,
01:27:50I call up the Justice Department, the DEA,
01:27:52nobody even knows you fucking exist, so calm down!
01:27:55They don't know I exist?
01:27:57- No. - That's good.
01:28:04But you...
01:28:05You know who he is, right?
01:28:07- Yeah. - So, if I just wanted to get
01:28:09some more information, just find out what he knows,
01:28:11you could go to his house, right?
01:28:14Tap his phones a little bit, bug him.
01:28:16You could get some information...
01:28:17You don't fuck with these guys like that.
01:28:20You don't fuck with them like that.
01:28:21What are you, nuts or something?
01:28:23This is what you fucking do. What do I pay you for?
01:28:24I have a fucking P.I. license, you know? I make a living at this.
01:28:28I'm not a cop anymore.
01:28:29They'll take my fucking license away from me, all right?
01:28:33Okay, if I can't do that, can I just...
01:28:35Can I give the guy a call?
01:28:38- Why? Is that... - Jordan. Jordan.
01:28:40Do me a favor?
01:28:41The only one who calls this guy is your fucking lawyer.
01:28:44I can't call him, right?
01:28:45- It's against the rules? - I told you,
01:28:47whatever the fuck you say to him,
01:28:48he's gonna use against you. Don't you understand?
01:28:51He's smart, you're dumb.
01:28:53Fucking bullshit.
01:28:55Are we fucking talking tonight,
01:28:56or are you gonna get schwacked?
01:28:57The last time you took these fucking pills,
01:28:59you put your head in the fucking macaroni. I had to pick it up.
01:29:02All right.
01:29:04Okay, I won't call him.
01:29:08Hey, fellas! Come on board.
01:29:10The plank's right around there.
01:29:14Whoo! What a nice day.
01:29:20Welcome aboard.
01:29:22Jordan. Welcome aboard the Naomi.
01:29:24Pleasure to meet you.
01:29:25Agent Denham. This is Agent Hughes.
01:29:26Hi, how are you?
01:29:27Let me introduce you. This is Nicole, Heidi. Come on. Don't be shy.
01:29:31What are you guys all shy for? Don't be scared.
01:29:33These are friends of Stratton.
01:29:35- It's a pleasure. - Hello.
01:29:39Your message said that you wanted to speak privately.
01:29:42Right. I do want to speak privately.
01:29:44Give us a minute, huh, ladies?
01:29:46Let me know if I can get you anything.
01:29:47We'd be happy to help.
01:29:49You guys hungry?
01:29:50Want something to eat?
01:29:52Got some pasta, shrimp, lobster.
01:29:53I got whiskey. Any kind of booze you want.
01:29:56You know what? The Bureau doesn't allow us
01:29:57to drink while we're at sea.
01:29:59Duh! Of course.
01:30:01Ever been on one of these before?
01:30:03A boat?
01:30:05I learned how to sail when I was six.
01:30:07No shit. Is that right? Really?
01:30:09On one like this, though?
01:30:11I had the whole front extended in order to fit the chopper up there.
01:30:14See that?
01:30:16Anyway, this is for you.
01:30:18It's a complete list of every person that was at my wedding.
01:30:21I understand you wanted the whole wedding video.
01:30:24Figured this would help expedite the whole process, right?
01:30:27- There you go. - Look,
01:30:28my point is that
01:30:30I know you're investigating Stratton.
01:30:31But for the life of me, I can't figure out why.
01:30:35I know we're a little unorthodox, we're a little
01:30:37loud in the way we do things. But you gotta understand,
01:30:40we're the new guys on the block, you know,
01:30:41we're trying to make a name for ourselves.
01:30:44But I want you to understand, we don't
01:30:46do anything illegal.
01:30:50I mean, you could talk to the SEC.
01:30:52They were at my office 15 times over the last six months.
01:30:55I mean, I got... I got nothing to hide.
01:30:57Well, you know the SEC is a civil regulatory agency.
01:31:00We pursue criminal activities.
01:31:02Exactly! You go after real criminals, which
01:31:05makes me wonder what the hell you're investigating me for?
01:31:08I mean, honestly...
01:31:10What is it that you think that we did or do? I don't get it.
01:31:14Well, I...
01:31:15Look, Jordan, I can't discuss an ongoing investigation.
01:31:18No, I get that. No, I understand.
01:31:20With that said...
01:31:22This case got dumped on my desk...
01:31:24- Did it? - You know, by a higher-up
01:31:25who needs to make a show
01:31:27of looking into the new company on the block,
01:31:29- with all the press and everything. - New loud guys.
01:31:31And then I end up being the schmuck
01:31:32who does the looking. Exactly.
01:31:34It's just, you know... It bothers me.
01:31:36We're the new guy. We're the one
01:31:38that's banging on Wall Street's door. I mean, you should...
01:31:40You should see what's going on at the bigger firms.
01:31:42I mean, I know all the information.
01:31:44It's true! Goldman, Lehman Brothers, Merrill...
01:31:47Collateralized debt obligations?
01:31:49This Internet stock bullshit?
01:31:50I mean, it's a fucking travesty.
01:31:52I could take you step-by-step
01:31:54through what exactly is occurring.
01:31:57All you have to do is ask.
01:31:59I'm available.
01:32:00- That's exactly what I wanted to hear. - Mmm-hmm.
01:32:02I don't see why a little sitdown like this
01:32:05can't be profitable for the both of us.
01:32:07It should. Right? It should profit the both of us.
01:32:09- It should. - Look.
01:32:12I'm gonna give you my personal line.
01:32:14Five days a week, you just call me, feel free.
01:32:17- I'll do that. - Great.
01:32:21Are you sure you guys don't want something to drink?
01:32:23You're not hungry? Nothing?
01:32:25- Nothing? No? - Oh, no.
01:32:30Let me ask you,
01:32:31and if you don't wanna get too personal,
01:32:32- just tell me to shut up at any time. - Oh.
01:32:35Did you try to get your broker's license at one time?
01:32:38Did I hear that right? Were you trying to take a stab at Wall Street?
01:32:42- No? - Who you been talking to?
01:32:44Who the fuck you been talking to?
01:32:45Well, you're investigating me.
01:32:46I hear things.
01:32:48You know what I mean?
01:32:50You ever think about what would've happened
01:32:52if you would have stayed the course?
01:32:55You know what? When I'm riding home on the subway
01:32:57and my balls are fucking sweating,
01:32:59I'm wearing the same suit three days in a row...
01:33:01Yeah, you bet I do.
01:33:02I've thought about it before. Who wouldn't, right?
01:33:04Right, who fucking wouldn't?
01:33:05What do you get...
01:33:06Another personal question, no need to answer...
01:33:08No, that's all right, Jordan.
01:33:09What do you pull in? 50, 60K? Something like that?
01:33:12- A year? In the ballpark? - Oh.
01:33:14Well, I...
01:33:16Let's put it this way.
01:33:18You get a free handgun
01:33:19when you sign up for the Bureau.
01:33:21No, but it fucking pisses me off. You know what I mean?
01:33:24You think about the people that built this country,
01:33:26hardworking people like you.
01:33:27Firefighters, teachers, FBI agents.
01:33:30End of the day, you guys get fucking skinned alive financially.
01:33:34It fucking makes me angry.
01:33:36Now the one thing about Wall Street and this market is,
01:33:39for me, I feel
01:33:42it's good to give back. You know, there's...
01:33:44There are situations where I can
01:33:46make those situations better for people. You know?
01:33:50You know what I mean.
01:33:53is everything.
01:33:56Take for example, I got this one kid, right?
01:33:58Went to school for environmental science, something like that.
01:34:02He was bogged down by student loans.
01:34:04Turns out, his mother needed triple bypass surgery.
01:34:06- Jesus. - Right. Horrible situation.
01:34:09But we got him into the market
01:34:10at the right time and chose the right stock.
01:34:12We gave him the right guidance.
01:34:14Boom! Overnight, changed his entire life.
01:34:17Got to put his mother into
01:34:19the best hospital in New York City.
01:34:21It didn't work out for her,
01:34:22granted, she passed away, unfortunately.
01:34:24But we gave him that opportunity.
01:34:26You know what I'm saying?
01:34:28It's just about setting up the right team,
01:34:29and then overnight your life can change.
01:34:38What does... What does an intern...
01:34:42What does an intern make in a deal like that?
01:34:43Well, in that situation,
01:34:46in that particular trade, and it was one trade,
01:34:50north of half a million dollars.
01:34:56And I'd do that for anybody, you know,
01:34:58anybody that needs the proper guidance.
01:35:21Can you say that again,
01:35:23just the way you said it?
01:35:25Just the same way.
01:35:31I don't know what you're talking about.
01:35:32Oh, come on! You know what I'm talking about.
01:35:35I think what Jordan just did is he...
01:35:37- If I'm not mistaken... - No.
01:35:38you just tried to bribe a federal officer.
01:35:40No, technically I didn't bribe anybody.
01:35:42No, no, that's not the conversation I heard, Jordan.
01:35:45No, no, according to the U.S. criminal code,
01:35:46there needs to be an exact dollar figure
01:35:48- for the exchange of services. - Oh!
01:35:50That would not hold up in a court of law.
01:35:52Nah, it's not howl heard it.
01:35:53No, no, no, that's the truth. But I want to tell you this.
01:35:57The same gentleman that told me
01:35:59that you tried to get your broker's license
01:36:01also told me that you are a straight arrow.
01:36:03He ran a security check on me.
01:36:06Yeah, when you sail on a boat fit for a Bond villain,
01:36:09sometimes you need to play the part. Right?
01:36:12I think it's time you both get the fuck off my boat.
01:36:14What do you say? Hmm?
01:36:17You know, Jordan, I'll tell you something.
01:36:18Most of the Wall Street jackasses that I bust,
01:36:21they're to the manor born.
01:36:24- Is that right? - Yeah.
01:36:25Their fathers are douchebags,
01:36:27just like their fathers before them.
01:36:30But you...
01:36:33You, Jordan, you got this way all on your own.
01:36:35Did I?
01:36:37- Good for you, little man. - Little man?
01:36:39Good for you.
01:36:40Me, the little man?
01:36:41And let me tell you something.
01:36:43Let me tell you something else.
01:36:45Honestly, I'm not bullshitting here,
01:36:47this is one of the nicest boats
01:36:48- that I've ever been on, I gotta tell you. - I bet it is.
01:36:50And you know what I was just thinking, too?
01:36:52The fucking hero that I'm gonna be back at the office
01:36:55when the Bureau seizes this fucking boat.
01:36:57Because, I mean, fuckety-fuck-fuck, Jordan,
01:37:00look at this thing!
01:37:01It's beautiful!
01:37:02And you got the beautiful girls there. It's wonderful.
01:37:05All right, get the fuck off my boat.
01:37:08I'm sure we'll be seeing each other
01:37:10- real soon. - I'm sure.
01:37:11Good luck on that subway ride home
01:37:12to your miserable, ugly fucking wives.
01:37:14I'm gonna have Heidi lick some caviar off my balls in the meantime.
01:37:18Hey, you guys want to take some lobsters for your ride home?
01:37:20Fucking miserable pricks, I know you can't afford them!
01:37:23Fucking cheap fucks.
01:37:25Fucking miserable pricks.
01:37:28Hey, fellas! Look what I found in my pocket! Look!
01:37:31A year's salary right here.
01:37:33You know what I call them? Fun coupons!
01:37:35See that!
01:37:37They're fun coupons!
01:37:47Switzerland? What the fuck is in Switzerland?
01:37:50Swiss fucking banks, that's what.
01:37:52It was ass-covering time. I had to hide my money.
01:37:56Enter Rugrat.
01:37:58He knew this Swiss banker from law school.
01:37:59That's for European pussy!
01:38:00But he was in Geneva.
01:38:02And there was no way I was gonna make that flight sober.
01:38:06So I knew if I took my drugs right,
01:38:08I could sleep through the entire flight.
01:38:10But I had to take them just right.
01:38:13At 4:00 p.m., I popped a few more ludes,
01:38:15which started kicking in by the time
01:38:17I finished my sales meeting.
01:38:19My tingle phase.
01:38:20By dinner, I popped a few more
01:38:22on top of some cocktails and a Valium or two.
01:38:25My slur phase.
01:38:29By 8:30, I took a few more ludes
01:38:31and pretty much lost all my motor skills.
01:38:34This was the drool phase.
01:38:39And by 10:00, I didn't know who or what the fuck I was.
01:38:42The amnesia phase.
01:38:45We boarded the plane just before midnight.
01:38:47Wow! Look at you!
01:38:49- You're beautiful. - Excuse me, sir.
01:38:51His sleeping pills just kicked in. He's all right.
01:38:53May I see your boarding passes, sir?
01:38:55We have the boarding passes.
01:38:57Jesus Christ, I wanna fuck her.
01:38:59Hey! Fucking relax.
01:39:01Oh, my God! You got your hand on my fucking cock!
01:39:03I don't. Cut it out.
01:39:05He's got his hand on my dick again.
01:39:06I'm just trying to buckle you up.
01:39:07You got your hand on his dick?
01:39:08You gotta stop doing that in public places.
01:39:10Oh, my God. Take it off!
01:39:12Take it off!
01:39:13I heard there's a treasure map under here.
01:39:17- Stop! I know, miss. - Excuse me, sir.
01:39:19Please sit down.
01:39:21- Watch it. - Go back to your seat, please.
01:39:22- What are you upset about? - Please go back to your seat.
01:39:25I will have to call the captain.
01:39:26Please, sir, please, sir. Sit down.
01:39:29- Please sit down! - Ow!
01:39:31- I'm going! Stop. - Okay, sorry.
01:39:32We apologize. We're gonna go to sleep.
01:39:34Question. I wanna ask you a question.
01:39:36Fasten your seat belt, sir.
01:39:38We cannot take off if you haven't fastened
01:39:39- your seat belt. - I'm really horny, too.
01:39:40Sit down. Fasten it.
01:39:42- Right. Okay, I'll sit down... - I will do it for you.
01:39:43- What? - I'll do it for you.
01:39:44You gotta speak English.
01:39:45We don't understand this language you're speaking.
01:39:48I will help him with his seat belt.
01:39:50- You gotta put it on right. - Sit back. Sit back, sir.
01:39:52- There you go. - All right. I'll just lean back...
01:39:57Bitte, Hilfe!
01:40:14Jesus Christ!
01:40:20Donnie, this isn't funny. You gotta untie me, buddy.
01:40:23I can't untie you.
01:40:25The captain tied you up.
01:40:27He almost fucking tasered you.
01:40:33He's got a fear of flying.
01:40:39He's very nervous on planes, I'm sorry,
01:40:40it's not you, sweetheart, don't beat yourself up.
01:40:42Easy, easy. He's fine. He's just a nervous flyer.
01:40:46You were screaming at people.
01:40:48Oh, fuck off.
01:40:49You were on the floor rolling around and shit.
01:40:51Oh, Jesus.
01:40:52You called the captain the N-word.
01:40:55I called the captain the N-word?
01:40:56- Yeah, he was very upset. - Really?
01:40:59- Luckily we're in first class. - Jesus.
01:41:02Jesus Christ, I think you have a fucking drug problem.
01:41:06Where are the ludes?
01:41:07Where are the ludes?
01:41:09They're up my ass. Don't worry about it.
01:41:11- I got it. - Okay.
01:41:13Thank God.
01:41:15Jesus Christ, what are we gonna do
01:41:16when we get to Switzerland, buddy?
01:41:17This is bad.
01:41:18Fucking things are against my chest. I can't breathe.
01:41:20Come on, do something to calm me down. Please.
01:41:22Okay, shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up.
01:41:25Okay. Shh! Shh!
01:41:28That's good.
01:41:29- Go to sleep. - Rub it harder, buddy.
01:41:30You're all right.
01:41:32We all love you. Shut the fuck up!
01:41:40Mr. Belfort,
01:41:42you're free to go.
01:41:51- Hey, Donnie. - Yeah?
01:41:52When we get out there, try not to act like yourself.
01:41:54Okay? Let's make Geneva an asshole-free Donnie zone, all right?
01:41:56What are you fucking coming at me for?
01:41:57Hey, listen. The only reason you're sitting in this limo
01:41:59and not in a Swiss jail is because of my friend. Okay?
01:42:03We're here. We're here. Everyone calm down.
01:42:06Jordan Belfort!
01:42:07At last.
01:42:09Nicholas has told me so much about you.
01:42:11Jordan, Jean Jacques Saurel.
01:42:13- Pleasure to make your acquaintance. - Nice to meet you.
01:42:16It's a joke.
01:42:18You'll understand when you're in the fucking seat.
01:42:20You need a bigger couch. For guests.
01:42:22Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I don't understand. I'm sorry.
01:42:24I'm curious about your bank secrecy laws here.
01:42:28Uh... Wait. Yes. Excusez-moi, Jordan.
01:42:32Swiss custom requires 10 minutes of...
01:42:35Blah, blah, blah.
01:42:36- Chit chat. - Yeah, chit chat, thank you.
01:42:38before business can be discussed.
01:42:45Of course.
01:42:47Let's get down to it. What would you like to know?
01:42:50Under what circumstances would you be obligated
01:42:53to cooperate with an FBI
01:42:56or a U.S. Justice Department investigation, for example?
01:42:59Ca depend.
01:43:01Ca depend?
01:43:04Ca depend on what, exactly?
01:43:08Whether America plans to invade Switzerland
01:43:10in the coming months.
01:43:12Shall I check if tanks are rolling down the Rue de la Croy?
01:43:15- Yes. Rue de la Croix. - Croix. Croix.
01:43:17Not Croy. Not Rue de la Croy. It's Croix.
01:43:20See, this is what he used to do back in law school. Check me.
01:43:22- Champagne. Champagne. - Yeah.
01:43:24Yeah, yeah. French fries, pommes frites.
01:43:27- And that kind of stuff. - That's funny.
01:43:31What I'm asking, you Swiss dick,
01:43:34is are you going to fuck me over?
01:43:39I understand perfectly, you American shit.
01:43:44The only way the Banque Réal de Genéve
01:43:47would cooperate with a foreign legal body
01:43:49is if the crime being pursued
01:43:51is also a crime in Switzerland.
01:43:53But there are very few Swiss laws which apply to your practices.
01:43:59From a financial standpoint,
01:44:01you are now
01:44:03in heaven.
01:44:04See, I told you he was fantastic, right?
01:44:07If the U.S. Justice Department sent us a subpoena, it would become
01:44:12papier toilette.
01:44:14We would wipe our ass with it.
01:44:17Unless, of course, it was an investigation
01:44:20into stock fraud,
01:44:22which is a crime here in Switzerland, if I'm correct.
01:44:24Then there would have to be coopération on your part,
01:44:28- if I'm not mistaken. - Yes.
01:44:30Yes, we would. Mmm-hmm.
01:44:33Assuming the account is under your name.
01:44:37If it were
01:44:38another name,
01:44:41a friend's, camarade...
01:44:48- Relative? - Yeah.
01:44:52Was that yodeling I just heard
01:44:55or did you just say what I thought you said?
01:44:58Yes. Yes.
01:45:00He's telling me to use a fucking rathole.
01:45:03But a U.S. rathole would never get
01:45:05into Switzerland with all that money.
01:45:07What I needed was a rathole with a European passport.
01:45:20Hey. How's my favorite aunt, huh?
01:45:23Welcome. Was the traffic terrible?
01:45:24Oh, no, not at all.
01:45:28Jordan, come in.
01:45:30Thank God Aunt Emma didn't need too much convincing.
01:45:33Turned out the British weren't too different from the Swiss.
01:45:36Money talks and bullshit takes the bus.
01:45:39How do you say "rathole" in British?
01:45:41If you get into any trouble whatsoever,
01:45:44I'll come forth immediately. I'll say that I duped you.
01:45:46That I promise.
01:45:48Risk is what keeps us young, isn't it, darling?
01:45:55Sometimes I wonder
01:45:58if you let money get the best of you, my love.
01:46:02other substances.
01:46:08It's that obvious, huh?
01:46:10It's chilly, darling, and you're sweating bullets.
01:46:16What can I say? I'm...
01:46:18I'm a drug addict.
01:46:20I really am.
01:46:23Cocaine, pills.
01:46:25Whatever it is, I'll fucking do it.
01:46:28Now that's the truth.
01:46:30I mean...
01:46:31I'm a sex addict, too.
01:46:33Well, there are worse things to be addicted to than sex.
01:46:37Jesus, why am I telling you all this? Why am I...
01:46:39I'm sorry.
01:46:42Because I'm very easy to talk to.
01:46:44- You are. You are easy to talk to. - Mmm.
01:46:48I suppose it's...
01:46:50Just my job, you know.
01:46:52All these people dependent on me.
01:46:54Tens of millions of dollars at stake, you know.
01:46:57Sometimes I feel like I...
01:46:59I've bitten off more than I can chew, you know.
01:47:02You're a man with large appetites.
01:47:08Is she fucking hitting on me?
01:47:11Yeah, I am.
01:47:15I suppose I put that on myself though, right?
01:47:18My decision.
01:47:20It's just hard to...
01:47:22Hard to learn to control the anxiety sometimes, you know?
01:47:26You know, to...
01:47:28Learn to relax and let go and...
01:47:32To release the tension.
01:47:35She is hitting on me.
01:47:37Holy shit!
01:47:39Yeah, to release the tension.
01:47:45I suppose we, uh...
01:47:47We all just need to learn, uh...
01:47:50Learn to do what comes naturally in life, you know?
01:47:56Is he fucking hitting on me?
01:48:04Stability, dear.
01:48:14You take care of my niece, my love.
01:48:17I'll take care of everything over here.
01:48:23Come on! There you go.
01:48:28We had, literally, a fuckload of money.
01:48:31Aunt Emma could never carry all this by herself.
01:48:34So I thought to myself, who else has a European passport?
01:48:38Brad, you're making this too fucking tight!
01:48:40Now Brad, as a successful drug dealer,
01:48:43spent his winters in the south of France,
01:48:45which is where he met his wife, Chantalle,
01:48:47a stripper of Slovenian origin
01:48:50born, in of all places,
01:48:58Well, this is fucked.
01:49:00Oh. No shit.
01:49:06Like, this will take her like 50 trips.
01:49:09I know.
01:49:13Let me ask you something?
01:49:15What about her family? Right?
01:49:17I mean, they all got Swiss passports, fight
01:49:20She's got parents, she's got a brother, right?
01:49:22The brother's got a wife. That's five fucking people.
01:49:24Six, seven trips, boom, right?
01:49:26They're all fucking Swiss nitwits like her.
01:49:28- They'll do it. - We could do that.
01:49:29At least I have a family, you crooked-nose fuck!
01:49:32Hey, uh, don't forget about my money.
01:49:36I'm sorry, what's that?
01:49:37Yeah, I forgot to tell you. He's got some...
01:49:39- He's got some money. - My money.
01:49:41I got a couple of mil coming in like a week.
01:49:44When it gets in, I'll give you a call, you come pick it up.
01:49:49You give me a call?
01:49:52When it gets here, I'll give you a call and you'll come pick it up.
01:49:55Well, we don't fucking work for you, man!
01:49:59you have my money taped to your tits.
01:50:01Okay? Technically, you do work for me.
01:50:06Hey, Jordan, we're gonna need to talk.
01:50:07If I fucking do this, I'm telling you right now,
01:50:09I ain't going to him, okay.
01:50:10- I'm not a fucking shvartze. - I got it.
01:50:11I don't do fucking pickups, all right?
01:50:13- I got it. - Well, listen to me.
01:50:14We meet someplace that I fucking say.
01:50:15And you tell that fucking piece of shit,
01:50:17- he comes correct. - I will.
01:50:18He comes in all fucking loopy and fucked up, I swear to God
01:50:20I'll mash that douchebag's teeth in.
01:50:22You're gonna mash whose fucking teeth in?
01:50:24Whose fucking teeth are you gonna mash in?
01:50:26I put the money on that fucking table! Not you!
01:50:28I'm the reason we have this whole fucking deal!
01:50:30- He's got a gun, you fucking idiot! - Fuck his gun!
01:50:32I put that money in there!
01:50:34You know what? You're a fucking pill dealer.
01:50:35I got five more just like you, bro.
01:50:38Keep talking, you fucking piece of shit!
01:50:39You know what else? You dress like shit!
01:50:41So fuck you!
01:50:42- Fucking motherfucker! - Oh! Jesus!
01:50:44How about that, faggot? Who's a faggot?
01:50:47You okay? Hey, pal.
01:50:51The next day, Aunt Emma flew to Geneva.
01:50:54Two million in cash in her carry-on,
01:50:56which in the big picture
01:50:57was a drop in the Swiss bucket.
01:51:00'Cause the following month,
01:51:02over the course of six round trips,
01:51:04Chantalle's family and friends
01:51:05smuggled in over 20 million in cash
01:51:08without even a hiccup.
01:51:14- And I have some more. - Really?
01:51:16- Here. - Oh, thank you.
01:51:18And here.
01:51:21- Yeah, like four bags of it. - Ooh!
01:51:25Are you Swiss-Slovakian or Swiss-Slovenian?
01:51:27- Slovenian. - Slovenian?
01:51:29Who cares. You're blonde.
01:51:30Oh, stop.
01:51:53Just put the fucking car in park, you dumb fucking idiot!
01:51:58I can't close this briefcase.
01:52:00One fucking day.
01:52:01One fucking day, you couldn't keep it together?
01:52:03I'm fucked up, Brad.
01:52:05- Gotta be fucking kidding me. - Fucked up.
01:52:13- It's a joke. - It's a joke?
01:52:14- I'm sober. - Jesus fucking Christ!
01:52:16It's a fucking joke.
01:52:17- Are you fucking stupid? - I'm not stupid.
01:52:19You fucking drive in here like a fucking maniac,
01:52:21you know the attention that that fucking draws?
01:52:23- I'm not stupid. I'm smart. - Smart?
01:52:25- I make million-dollar deals. - That right?
01:52:28With smart important people, unlike you.
01:52:30People who don't sucker-punch people
01:52:32when they're scared. Okay?
01:52:34- I'm scared, huh? - And by the way,
01:52:35I haven't gotten an apology yet for that.
01:52:37You want an apology, okay.
01:52:38I check my fucking messages every day
01:52:39- when I come home from work. - Did you?
01:52:40- My answering machine. Zero. - Didn't get one, huh?
01:52:42I got a blinking light,
01:52:43because I don't have shit from you.
01:52:44You know what, you got a big fucking mouth, okay?
01:52:45I got my wife checking the messages
01:52:47every 45 minutes calling the office, saying,
01:52:49"Has Brad apologized yet?
01:52:50"Is there an apology message on the machine?"
01:52:52I don't have jack shit. You know what?
01:52:54That's not how you treat people.
01:52:55You got a big fucking mouth, you know.
01:52:56I'm gonna give you a fucking pass. Just give me the case.
01:52:58You're gonna give me a pass?
01:53:00Look, it's a figure of fucking speech.
01:53:02Oh, my gosh. The Emperor of Fucksville
01:53:04came down from Fucksville to give me a pass!
01:53:05From Fucksville, huh?
01:53:07Hey, what are the citizens of Fucksville doing today
01:53:09when their Emperor's gone?
01:53:10Is it mayhem?
01:53:12Are people looting and raping?
01:53:14What are all the little fuckheads doing while you're here?
01:53:16Go fuck yourself! Give me the bag.
01:53:17You back the fuck up.
01:53:19I'll cause the biggest fucking scene
01:53:20that I've ever caused in my life
01:53:22if you come at me again.
01:53:24- You know what? - Just fucking keep it down.
01:53:26I got...
01:53:27I don't wanna be out of line or anything,
01:53:28but I think you like, like me. Like you...
01:53:32Like when you come at me...
01:53:33What's the matter with you? What the fuck is...
01:53:34and you look at me. I swear I just noticed it.
01:53:36You have like a fucking, like...
01:53:38Like a twinkle. You have like a twinkle.
01:53:40Are you trying to kiss me, bro?
01:53:41Jesus fucking Christ.
01:53:43- What's with you? - I have a... I don't know.
01:53:45- It's not a homophobic thing. - All right...
01:53:47You're just not the one for me, pal.
01:53:48You know what I mean? It's not...
01:53:50- it's not about that for me, you know. - I've heard enough.
01:53:52Please, I'm begging, give me the fucking case.
01:53:54- I'm gonna give you the case. - Give me the case.
01:53:56- You gotta do me one favor. - What's that?
01:53:57You gotta take this case,
01:53:59you gotta drive straight home,
01:54:01need you to open up the briefcase,
01:54:02and you take out every single dollar.
01:54:04Don't leave one dollar inside the briefcase.
01:54:06And once you have it all
01:54:07neatly organized outside the briefcase,
01:54:09I need you to take it and I need you to shove it right up
01:54:12your wife's Latvian cunt, you understand?
01:54:14- My fucking wife! - Chill! Chill, bro.
01:54:16Fuck. You motherfucking piece of shit!
01:54:17How about now?
01:54:18- Go, go! - Fuck!
01:54:21Motherfuck! You're fucking dead!
01:54:23Stop! Don't move! Don't move!
01:54:25Stop, or I will blow you the fuck away!
01:54:28Drop the case! Put your hands in the air!
01:54:30Get down.
01:54:32Get down on your knees! Get down on your knees!
01:54:48Jordan, do I have a surprise for you!
01:54:52What's that?
01:54:53Twenty real Lemmons.
01:54:55Retired pharmacist's client of mine,
01:54:56they've been in the safe for 15 years.
01:54:57Are you fucking kidding me? Lemmons?
01:55:00They're gonna knock us on our fucking heads.
01:55:02When it comes to Quaaludes,
01:55:04the Lemmon 714 was the Holy Grail.
01:55:07- Can you believe it? - Oh, my God.
01:55:08I thought they were like a myth.
01:55:10Three times as powerful as anything available today.
01:55:12Look at these babies.
01:55:13Boy, Donnie really knew how to celebrate.
01:55:16He said he was saving these for a special occasion.
01:55:18Like a birthday, or being clap free,
01:55:21or our money arriving safely in Switzerland.
01:55:27So that night,
01:55:28I cleared my schedule and I rid my body
01:55:30of anything that could fuck with my high.
01:55:33It was celebration time.
01:55:37Start off with one, see how it goes?
01:55:39My guy says all we'll need is one.
01:55:40Here you go.
01:55:43- Salud! - Cheers.
01:55:44Maybe if I pull it again, it'll go down.
01:55:49Steve! Steve!
01:55:50I gotta get out of here!
01:55:52Carl, I think I got it figured out.
01:55:53It must be one pull for up and two pulls for down.
01:56:07Do you feel anything?
01:56:15It's been 35 minutes.
01:56:20Maybe we've built up a tolerance
01:56:21after all these years, huh?
01:56:36This is bullshit!
01:56:38My metabolism's pumping. I can't feel shit!
01:56:41They're old.
01:56:42You think they lost their potency, huh?
01:56:44Check the bottle!
01:56:49January '81.
01:56:50They're fucking duds.
01:56:53Let's take, uh...
01:56:54Let's take two more each.
01:56:57- Jordan. - Yeah, baby.
01:57:04What are you two retards doing?
01:57:05We're working out, honey.
01:57:07Well, Bo Dietl's on the phone.
01:57:10- Okay? - Okay
01:57:13Hey, Bo, what's going on?
01:57:15Jordan, listen to me clearly.
01:57:16I cannot talk to you on this phone,
01:57:17I have to talk to you.
01:57:19Get out of here. What's going on?
01:57:20Listen to me! Leave the fucking house, Jordan,
01:57:24and then call me from a pay phone.
01:57:25This is not a fucking joke, Jordan.
01:57:27Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
01:57:30- Shit. - What'd he say?
01:57:31I don't know what the fuck's going on.
01:57:32- I gotta go! - Is everything okay, Jordan?
01:57:45The closest pay phone I could get to
01:57:47was at the Brookville Country Club.
01:57:50It was a real WASP stronghold,
01:57:52just a mile down the road from my house.
01:58:04Hey, Bo, what's up, it's me. What's going on?
01:58:05I'm at a pay phone. What's going on?
01:58:06Listen to me carefully.
01:58:08Please. Your little friend there, Brad,
01:58:09your little buddy, he's in jail.
01:58:12What the fuck's he in jail for?
01:58:13- What'd he do? - I don't know what he did.
01:58:15My friends in Long Island told me
01:58:16he got picked up in some fucking shopping mall.
01:58:19He got locked up by...
01:58:20Wait, wait. Did you... Did you say a shopping mall?
01:58:22- Yeah. - He was with Donnie.
01:58:23He was supposed to deliver some money,
01:58:25- then that fucking fat piece of shit... - Listen to me!
01:58:26I gotta go fucking talk to him right now!
01:58:28Listen to me! Don't go! Listen to me.
01:58:30That guy Denham, that FBI agent guy,
01:58:32somebody told me he's got your phones tapped.
01:58:35Your office and your home.
01:58:36Don't talk on the motherfucking phone!
01:58:38Okay. Fuck! I got it. I got it. I got it.
01:58:42You didn't try to bribe this fucking FBI agent, did you?
01:58:46No, I didn't try to bribe an FBI agent.
01:58:48You think I'm that fucking stupid? No.
01:58:50What the fuck did you say? I can't understand you.
01:58:52Say that again.
01:58:53I said...
01:58:56What the fuck are you saying?
01:58:59I said...
01:59:00Are you fucking high?
01:59:04Jordan, are you fucking high?
01:59:08Jordan, do me a favor, stay where you are.
01:59:10Don't get behind the wheel of the car.
01:59:11I'm gonna send Rocco over to pick you up.
01:59:13Jordan! Jordan!
01:59:14After 15 years in storage,
01:59:17the Lemmons had developed a delayed fuse.
01:59:20It took 90 minutes for these little fuckers to kick in.
01:59:23But once they did...
01:59:25I mean, I had skipped the tingle phase
01:59:27and went straight to the drool phase.
01:59:29Tell me where you are! Don't fucking drive...
01:59:31These little bastards were so strong,
01:59:33I discovered a whole new phase.
01:59:35The cerebral palsy phase.
01:59:40Come on, stand up!
01:59:46Okay, walking's out.
01:59:48All right, think, think. What else is there?
01:59:52Yes! I can crawl. I can crawl like Skylar!
02:00:28Fuck! The kid makes it look so goddamn easy!
02:00:38Think, you motherfucker, think!
02:00:41I got it! I've got it!
02:00:44I can roll! I can roll!
02:02:13Oh, Jesus. Where are you?
02:02:15I'm at a country club!
02:02:17I'm at a country club!
02:02:20I don't know what the fuck you're saying.
02:02:22Look, you need to get home.
02:02:23Donnie is out of control! He's on the other line
02:02:26with some Swiss guy. I don't know...
02:02:29Get him off the phone!
02:02:32I can't understand you!
02:02:35Get him
02:02:37the phone!
02:02:39I don't know what the fuck you're saying, Jordan.
02:02:40Can you just get home? Hurry!
02:02:51I was less than a mile from home.
02:02:53I drove as slow as I fucking could.
02:02:56I'd seen Jell-O move faster.
02:02:58I was gonna give you 2 million.
02:03:01I's gonna be lates.
02:03:04You ate 2 million?
02:03:08Get off the phone.
02:03:09Get off the fucking phone! Idiot!
02:03:12Get out of the way, asshole!
02:03:17You hate 2 million?
02:03:18No, you don't hate 2 million, Donnie.
02:03:22By some miracle, I made it home alive,
02:03:25not a scratch on me or the car.
02:03:38Jesus fucking Christ!
02:03:41What did you take?
02:03:43What's wrong with you?
02:03:45It's fucking good, right?
02:03:48Fucked up!
02:03:50Get off the phone!
02:03:55What the fuck, Jordan?
02:03:57Your daughter's in the house!
02:03:59I hope you know that!
02:04:00Your fucking daughter's in the house!
02:04:02Yeah, it's real fucking funny, Donnie.
02:04:04Get off the phone!
02:04:07Jesus Christ, Jordan.
02:04:08The FBI!
02:04:13I'm on phone!
02:04:15Get off the fucking phone!
02:04:19- Come here! - ...the phone.
02:04:23Come on. We're gonna go upstairs, all right.
02:04:31I'm on the phone!
02:04:33On the phone!
02:04:34I know what you did,
02:04:37you piece of shit!
02:04:38What? What?
02:04:46You fucking cocksucker!
02:04:53What did you do,
02:04:55you piece of shit?
02:04:57Fuck you!
02:05:00I wanna fucking kill you!
02:05:02I wanna fucking kill you!
02:05:05I got you!
02:05:31What the fuck happened?
02:05:34Oh, shit!
02:05:35Jordan? Jordan, are you all right?
02:05:37Donnie? Donnie?
02:05:40Jordan, he's not breathing.
02:05:41Oh, fuck, I don't know what to do.
02:05:43Jordan, I don't know what the fuck to do!
02:05:45I can't help him! Oh, my God. Jordan.
02:05:48Oh, my God, I think he's choking, Jordan. Do something.
02:05:51- Oh, God. - Baby, I got you!
02:05:53He's not breathing, Jordan. You gotta do something!
02:05:57Shit! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
02:06:01I got you.
02:06:22Step aside!
02:06:23Oh, God!
02:06:25Oh, God!
02:06:27Move aside, baby.
02:06:36Come on! Come on!
02:06:38Come on!
02:06:44Jordan, he's not breathing. You gotta do something.
02:06:47Jordan, he's a father! He's got fucking kids!
02:06:49- Do something! - Yeah?
02:06:57Rocco, you gotta get over here.
02:06:58- Come on. - Call an ambulance!
02:07:00I don't fucking know!
02:07:01Just get over here! Call 911.
02:07:13You all right? He's all right.
02:07:29Mr. Belfort?
02:07:32Mr. Belfort?
02:07:36- Get the fuck out of here. - Fuck.
02:07:39Sir, we need to ask you some questions.
02:07:42Are you fucking kidding me? Fuck you.
02:07:44Come on, get up.
02:07:46Get the fuck out of my house.
02:07:49- Let's go. - I've been here all night.
02:07:51I been sitting here all night.
02:07:52What the fuck are you talking about?
02:07:54- Where you taking him? - Where you taking me?
02:07:56Where you taking him?
02:07:57You ain't got no warrant.
02:07:58Just come up in people's house like that!
02:08:01Did you drive your car tonight, Mr. Belfort?
02:08:10Maybe I hadn't made it home okay.
02:08:27Get out of the fucking way!
02:08:39Did you drive
02:08:41that car tonight?
02:08:43- Yeah. - Yeah, right.
02:08:46I'm a family man!
02:08:47Family man. Honey!
02:08:49It was a miracle I wasn't killed,
02:08:51or that I didn't kill anybody else.
02:08:54The cops took me in for questioning,
02:08:56but they couldn't charge me.
02:08:58They had no proof I was even behind the wheel.
02:09:01Brad did three months in jail for contempt
02:09:03because he wouldn't rat Donnie out.
02:09:06The result,
02:09:07I was soot-free.
02:09:09But I had eyes on me like never before.
02:09:11You're a lucky man, Jordan.
02:09:13You're lucky to be alive, let alone not in jail.
02:09:16You know I don't believe in luck, right?
02:09:18But it's time.
02:09:19Please, let me call the SEC and cut a deal
02:09:22before your luck runs out.
02:09:24Wave to Daddy.
02:09:26Hey, sweetie.
02:09:33What kind of terms would you be talking about if I...
02:09:37I don't know.
02:09:38You plead guilty to a handful of securities violations,
02:09:41stock manipulation, high-pressure sales tactics.
02:09:44Ticky-tack shit like that, you know.
02:09:47You pay a couple million dollars in fines,
02:09:49in exchange, the SEC fucks off till the end of time.
02:09:54And Stratton?
02:09:56What happens to Stratton?
02:09:58There's no way... I mean... You got to walk away. Right?
02:10:01Let Donnie be in charge.
02:10:02Right. Donnie.
02:10:05Now the FBI is another animal completely.
02:10:07They'll still be pursuing you for criminal wrongdoing.
02:10:09However, with you stepping down voluntarily,
02:10:12my guess is that your best friend Agent Denham
02:10:14will be standing around with his dick in his hand.
02:10:19What do you have to think about?
02:10:21You beat them.
02:10:22You won!
02:10:23God knows you never have to work again.
02:10:25What're you gonna do? Spend the rest of your life in jail?
02:10:27- Is that what you want? - No.
02:10:28- Of course not. - Okay.
02:10:30Okay! You got all the money in the world.
02:10:32You need everybody else's money?
02:10:33- Of course not, Pops. - Well?
02:10:35- You know, I built it. - I know you built it.
02:10:37You built it, so now preserve it.
02:11:10You know,
02:11:12five years ago, when I started Stratton Oakmont
02:11:15with Donnie Azoff, I knew the day
02:11:17would eventually come where I'd have to be moving on.
02:11:22And it's truly with a heavy heart
02:11:24that I'm here to say that...
02:11:28That that day is finally here.
02:11:34I wanna... I want to thank you all for your...
02:11:36Your years of loyalty and admiration.
02:11:39But the point is this.
02:11:42Under Donnie's leadership,
02:11:43along with Nicky Koskoff and Robbie Feinberg
02:11:47moving into key management positions, this place really
02:11:49is gonna be better than ever!
02:11:51That I promise you. Okay?
02:11:53Give them a round of applause. Come on.
02:11:59This is Ellis Island here, people.
02:12:02I don't care who you are, where you're from,
02:12:03whether your relatives came over on the fucking Mayflower
02:12:06or on an inner tube from Haiti,
02:12:08this right here is the land of opportunity.
02:12:11Stratton Oakmont is America!
02:12:17All of you know Kimmie Belzer, right?
02:12:19Yes, we do.
02:12:20Fuck you.
02:12:21Come on, Kimmie.
02:12:23What you probably didn't know is,
02:12:25Kimmie was one of the first brokers here,
02:12:27one of Stratton's original 20.
02:12:30Now most of you met Kimmie,
02:12:32the beautiful sophisticated woman that she is today.
02:12:35A woman that wears $3,000 Armani suits.
02:12:40Who drives a brand-new Mercedes-Benz.
02:12:44A woman who spends
02:12:45her winters in the Bahamas
02:12:47and summers in the Hamptons!
02:12:54That's not the Kimmie that I met.
02:12:59The Kimmie that I met didn't have two nickels to rub together.
02:13:04She was a single mom on the balls of her ass
02:13:07with an 8-year-old son.
02:13:09Okay? She was three months behind on her rent.
02:13:13And when she came to me and asked me for a job,
02:13:16she asked for a $5,000 advance
02:13:19just so she could pay her son's tuition.
02:13:26And what'd I do, Kimmie?
02:13:28Go on, tell them.
02:13:32You wrote me a check
02:13:34for $25,000.
02:13:37That's right.
02:13:39Thank you.
02:13:44And you know why that is?
02:13:49It's because I believed in you.
02:13:53It's because I believed in you, Kimmie,
02:13:56just like I believe in each
02:13:58and every one of you here today.
02:14:00- I fucking love you, Jordan! - I fucking love you.
02:14:02I fucking love you! I love you.
02:14:04I fucking love you, too! I fucking love you, too!
02:14:10And I love all of you!
02:14:12And I love all of you from the bottom of my heart.
02:14:15- I fucking love you, too. - I mean that.
02:14:18You are the shit. You are the fucking shit.
02:14:27It's a shame, you know.
02:14:31For years, I've been telling you guys
02:14:33never to take no for an answer, right?
02:14:35You know, to keep pushing, to never hang up the phone
02:14:39until you get what you want.
02:14:42Because you all deserve it.
02:14:46You know, this fucking deal that I'm about to sign
02:14:50barring me from the securities industry,
02:14:52barring me from Stratton,
02:14:55my home.
02:14:59What the fuck is that, you know?
02:15:02I'll tell you what it is. It's...
02:15:05It's me taking no for an answer, you know.
02:15:10It's them...
02:15:11It's them selling me, not the other way around.
02:15:15It's me being a hypocrite is what it is.
02:15:31You know what?
02:15:37I'm not leaving.
02:15:41I'm not leaving.
02:15:45I'm not fucking leaving!
02:15:51You're not getting a fucking promotion!
02:15:55The show goes on!
02:15:59This is my home!
02:16:00They're gonna need a fucking wrecking ball
02:16:03to take me out of here!
02:16:07They're gonna need to send in the National Guard
02:16:10or fucking SWAT team
02:16:11'cause I ain't going nowhere!
02:16:17Fuck them!
02:16:20Fuck them!
02:16:56Jordy! Jordy!
02:16:58Jordy! Get back here!
02:17:05Give me that.
02:17:08What is this?
02:17:09Ramar of the Jungle, for Christ sake?
02:17:13Paddy D, mazel tov, you Irishman.
02:17:16Jordan Belfort just welched on his deal with the SEC.
02:17:20He is back in the ocean. Happy hunting.
02:17:35It was our time to party big.
02:17:38And just as Brad was released from jail, too.
02:17:41I apologized, even offered to pay him
02:17:43for his time in the can.
02:17:46But he said no, that he was out.
02:17:48He didn't want any part of us.
02:17:50Sad thing was,
02:17:51two years later
02:17:53he was dead.
02:17:55Massive heart attack. Thirty-five.
02:17:58Same age Mozart died.
02:18:00Not that they have a hell of a lot in common, but...
02:18:04Anyway, I don't know why that came to mind.
02:18:08Within days,
02:18:10subpoenas started flying.
02:18:12Notices to produce documents, depositions, you name it.
02:18:15Donnie couldn't drink water fast enough.
02:18:17United States government wants to give me a subpoena?
02:18:20Here's what we do with subpoenas at Stratton Oakmont!
02:18:29Fuck you, USA! Fuck you!
02:18:32Fuck you! Fuck you!
02:18:34Fuck you!
02:18:43Jordan Belfort.
02:18:45Alden. That's a nice name.
02:18:47Thank you very much for that.
02:18:49- What kind of name is that? - That is my name.
02:18:51I do not recall that.
02:18:53I do not recall that. Okay?
02:18:55Mr. Ming, thank you for coming in today.
02:18:57Are you gonna finish the rest of that Danish?
02:18:59- Can I have that Danish? - No, no, go ahead.
02:19:00They interrogated everybody.
02:19:02I got a low blood sugar, thyroid thing.
02:19:04It went on for months.
02:19:05It was a total fucking harassment.
02:19:07Tell him to proceed with the questions.
02:19:09But not a single Strattonite cracked.
02:19:11Gladys Carrera?
02:19:13Doesn't ring a bell.
02:19:15Sorry, I have no recommendation of that.
02:19:19No idea.
02:19:20I don't recall that transaction. You guys have any milk?
02:19:22Absolutely not.
02:19:25Francis Sortigi you called so many times
02:19:27I just thought you might remember that.
02:19:29Would you remember any of those?
02:19:30- I do not recall any of that. - This Abdul...
02:19:32I do not... No, I don't recall.
02:19:35It was a long phone call.
02:19:36I just wondered if you have any memory of that.
02:19:38Okay. You know we've talked to several
02:19:40of the employees at this firm
02:19:41and nobody can recall anything
02:19:43about this Steve Madden IPO.
02:19:45I think it's Odd.
02:19:48Do you recall
02:19:49Cartage Corporation?
02:19:52You do recall it?
02:19:53No, I don't recall that at all.
02:19:55Excuse me. I have to ask. Is that your real hair?
02:19:59Are you gonna say anything about that?
02:20:01Are you gonna comment on my hair?
02:20:02Is that how we're doing... Is this personal questions?
02:20:04I'm just wondering why you would wear something like that.
02:20:06Sorry. I don't recall that company.
02:20:10Can I get you anything else, gentlemen?
02:20:11Yes. Sweetheart, I have a rare condition
02:20:13which requires me to drink one of those
02:20:15every 15 minutes, please.
02:20:17We were specifically advised not to leave the country.
02:20:20So, we took our wives to Italy.
02:20:23We figured we were safer working from overseas
02:20:25giving orders to Rugrat.
02:20:27Nobody could arrest us and nobody could prove
02:20:29I was still running Stratton from a yacht.
02:20:31Hey, Rugrat.
02:20:33- Oh! - Bonjour.
02:20:34You bald-headed eagle, how you doing?
02:20:36Donnie, Donnie, listen!
02:20:37We have a problem, okay.
02:20:38Your friend, Steve Madden, is unloading shares.
02:20:42What are you saying? Who told you that?
02:20:44- What's going on? - He's doing it, Donnie!
02:20:45He said that Steve Madden's unloading shares.
02:20:48Who told you that? It's bullshit!
02:20:50Give me that goddamn phone.
02:20:52What's going on?
02:20:53Jordan, look. I'm watching the screen
02:20:56and huge chunks of Steve Madden are being sold, okay.
02:20:58It's not coming from us, so it's gotta be Steve.
02:21:00He's the only person with that many shares.
02:21:03It's Donnie. Call me back, all right.
02:21:04Donnie, your little friend
02:21:05is trying to fuck me, you know that.
02:21:06Your little friend is trying to fuck me right in the ass.
02:21:08- Get him on the phone now! - We don't know anything yet.
02:21:10Let's not jump to conclusions.
02:21:11Even though I owned 85%
02:21:13of Steve-cocksucking- motherfucking-Madden Shoes,
02:21:16the shares were in his fucking name.
02:21:19This motherfucker knew I was in trouble with the feds
02:21:21and was trying to take advantage.
02:21:23Talk to me, man. How do you wanna play this?
02:21:24I want you to get all our clients on the phone right now
02:21:26and have them start selling Steve Madden.
02:21:28We're gonna drive that fucking price down!
02:21:29Do you hear me? Shut the fuck up!
02:21:31This is your fucking friend from high school.
02:21:33If that little fucking prick thinks he can fuck with me,
02:21:35we'll turn his company into a penny stock! You hear me?
02:21:37- You got it? - Yes. I got it!
02:21:39Let's just not jump to conclusions
02:21:40before we know what's going on.
02:21:42Captain Ted!
02:21:43Captain Ted!
02:21:45Hang up your phones! Everybody, hey!
02:21:47Turn the boat around! We're going home!
02:21:53Baby! Baby, what happened?
02:21:56I just...
02:21:58Sweetheart, what's going on?
02:22:00Aunt Emma...
02:22:03Just wait.
02:22:04I can't...
02:22:06What's going on? Why you crying?
02:22:09- She's dead! - Who? Who's dead?
02:22:11I just got a call from my cousin Betty.
02:22:15Aunt Emma is dead.
02:22:18- Are you fucking kidding me? - No.
02:22:21You're serious?
02:22:23Oh, my God! Baby, that's...
02:22:25Oh, fuck!
02:22:27Oh, sweetheart, that's just...
02:22:29Fucking heart attack!
02:22:30Boom, snap, gone.
02:22:32Shuffled off her mortal coil.
02:22:34And $20 million stuck in a Swiss bank account.
02:22:37The last time I talked to her she was fine!
02:22:39- She's not that old. - Oh, God! Baby, oh, God!
02:22:41That's so fucking terrible!
02:22:44Oh, fuck!
02:22:46It is terrible.
02:22:47Your aunt was such an elegant, attractive woman.
02:22:49My condolences to you and your family.
02:22:51Yes. We're absolutely devastated.
02:22:53Thank you so much for your condolences.
02:22:55Now where does that leave us
02:22:56in regard to her account exactly?
02:22:58Does it go into probate or what?
02:22:59Not to worry, Jordan. Not to worry.
02:23:01Your aunt, before she died,
02:23:03signed a document naming you as her successor.
02:23:06She did?
02:23:07Fantastic! Well, that's good news!
02:23:09Well, not as of yet.
02:23:12What does that mean? Not as of yet?
02:23:16I can't seem to hear you.
02:23:18I must have bad reception. Are you speaking English?
02:23:21- Very... Now. Fast. Very fast. - Fast?
02:23:24I have to get to Switzerland now?
02:23:28Speak English! Fucking speak English!
02:23:30Whoa! Hey, hey, hey. Hey! Quiet, okay?
02:23:31Take your suit, take your dick, okay,
02:23:33- and move your ass! Please. - Okay.
02:23:34Move my ass! Yes!
02:23:37I gotta say, these Swiss were some sneaky motherfuckers.
02:23:41Within minutes, he had me set up with a forger
02:23:43who could fake Aunt Emma's signature.
02:23:45You American shit!
02:23:47I just had to get there by tomorrow,
02:23:48or lose $20 million.
02:23:50We're going to Monaco!
02:23:52- Monaco? Now? - Yes, baby.
02:23:55We're going to Monaco, so then we can go to Switzerland, okay?
02:23:57- But her aunt just died. - I realize that.
02:23:59But I have business in Switzerland.
02:24:00I need to go to Switzerland right now.
02:24:02Bottom line. Sorry.
02:24:05We gotta get to London.
02:24:07Why? Why?
02:24:10The funeral!
02:24:11Yeah, but babe. Look, look...
02:24:13I loved your aunt more than anyone in the entire world.
02:24:15I really did.
02:24:18But she's dead now, sweetie.
02:24:20She's dead and she's not going anywhere.
02:24:22She'll still be dead by the time
02:24:23we get to London, okay?
02:24:25Captain Ted! Captain Ted, all right, look.
02:24:27We're going to Monaco. Monaco now, okay?
02:24:29Monaco, right.
02:24:30We're going to Monaco so that we can drive to Switzerland
02:24:32so they don't stamp our passports.
02:24:33Take care of business here, we'll drive back to Monaco,
02:24:35take a flight over to London to catch the funeral
02:24:37and be in New York in three fucking business days!
02:24:39That's the fucking plan.
02:24:40I just want you to know that we might run into some chop.
02:24:42Chop? We can fucking handle chop, right?
02:24:45I mean, it's a 170-foot yacht.
02:24:46No, no, no. We're not going anywhere
02:24:48unless he says it's safe, all right.
02:24:49- Don't worry about the chop. - It's safe.
02:24:50You don't know shit about chop.
02:24:52Oh, really? And you do? You're a fucking expert on that.
02:24:54I'll chop your fucking credit card in half. How about that?
02:24:57Chop is fine. Trust me. Chop is fine.
02:24:59Is chop fine, Captain Ted?
02:25:02Yeah. I mean, if we take it slow.
02:25:04Yeah, we're gonna take it slow.
02:25:05It's a little uncomfortable. Tell them it's safe.
02:25:06It's gonna be safe.
02:25:08We'll batten down the hatches
02:25:10and secure the deck.
02:25:11And we're looking at a few... Maybe a few broken dishes.
02:25:15Few broken dishes.
02:25:16What's a few broken dishes?
02:25:18Does that sound fucking awesome or what?
02:25:19No. Not really.
02:25:21We're gonna have a fucking good time!
02:25:22Let's go to fucking Monaco now!
02:25:24Let's fucking move! Let's go!
02:25:30Hold On!
02:25:35What the fuck is going on out here?
02:25:38The Jet Skis just went overboard!
02:25:40Oh, Jesus Christ! Honey, you okay?
02:25:42Gale warning! Gale warning!
02:25:45The waves are 20 feet high and building!
02:25:47Turn around, let's go the other fucking way.
02:25:49- We can't! - Go!
02:25:51We'll get broad-sided. It'll tip over!
02:25:53I am a master diver. You hear that?
02:25:55I'm a master diver!
02:25:56No one's gonna fucking die!
02:25:58I got you, baby. I got you. Trust me, okay?
02:26:00I love you.
02:26:02I love you, baby. Just hold on tight.
02:26:07Hold on, baby!
02:26:13- What? - Hold on, baby.
02:26:15Get the fucking ludes.
02:26:16I don't wanna die, Jordan!
02:26:18I did a lot of bad shit. I'm going to hell, Jordan!
02:26:20I fucked up! I fucked up so bad!
02:26:23Get the ludes! Downstairs!
02:26:26What are you saying?
02:26:30Get the ludes!
02:26:31I can't go down there, Jordan. It's flooded.
02:26:32It's three feet of water down there!
02:26:34I will not die sober!
02:26:37Get those fucking ludes!
02:26:40- Go! - Okay
02:26:44- Where's he going? - Hold on, baby!
02:26:46Donnie! Is he fucking crazy?
02:26:47He's just warning everybody!
02:27:01Jesus Christ!
02:27:04Hold on!
02:27:05Get away from the window!
02:27:07Rogue wave!
02:27:09This is Captain Ted Beecham aboard the yacht Naomi!
02:27:12- We are going down! - I got 'em!
02:27:14I got 'em!
02:27:16Give me one for the nerves!
02:27:18We're going down!
02:27:19This is a fucking Mayday!
02:27:21We require immediate assistance!
02:27:25Hold on!
02:27:27Watch out!
02:27:40The nice thing about getting rescued by Italians
02:27:43is that they feed you, make you drink red wine,
02:27:46then you get to dance.
02:28:05Did you see that?
02:28:07That was the plane I sent to come get us.
02:28:11I shit you not, it exploded
02:28:12when a seagull flew into the engine.
02:28:15Three people killed.
02:28:21You want a sign from God?
02:28:23Well, after all this, I finally got the message.
02:28:31Do you dream of becoming financially independent
02:28:35but struggle every month just to pay your bills?
02:28:38Would you like to own a home like this,
02:28:40but can barely afford to pay your rent?
02:28:42My name is Jordan Belfort,
02:28:44and there's no secret to wealth creation.
02:28:46No matter who you are,
02:28:47no matter where you came from,
02:28:48you too can become financially independent
02:28:51in just a matter of months.
02:28:53All you need is a strategy.
02:28:55When I was 24 years old,
02:28:57I made a decision not just to survive, but to thrive.
02:29:01At first I didn't feel like deals like these were possible.
02:29:03But we have the house and we have a $33,000 profit.
02:29:07I certainly believe now.
02:29:08Think about it for a second.
02:29:09If you don't have the guts to attend Jordan Belfort's
02:29:12Straight Line Persuasion System seminar,
02:29:14then how do you expect to make any money?
02:29:15If you want to be a millionaire someday,
02:29:17have some guts. Make a decision.
02:29:19Jordan Belfort's setup worked for me
02:29:21because I worked hard for it.
02:29:22And if it doesn't work for you,
02:29:24it's because you're lazy.
02:29:25And you should get a job at McDonald's.
02:29:26There's nobody holding you back from financial freedom.
02:29:29And there's nobody stopping you from making millions.
02:29:32Don't just sit at home,
02:29:33or the life of your dreams will sail right past you.
02:29:39I changed all these people's lives
02:29:41and I can change yours, too!
02:29:42So come to my seminar!
02:29:44The life of your dreams is only...
02:29:45Good to see you again, Jordan.
02:29:47You're under arrest!
02:29:48You gotta be joking!
02:29:51You're kidding me.
02:29:52Hey, get the fuck away from me!
02:29:54Turn that camera off.
02:29:55I'm fucking shooting a fucking infomercial here,
02:29:57you fucking cocksucker!
02:29:59- Fuck you, you motherfucker! - Shut the fucking camera off.
02:30:01You don't got shit on me, you hear me!
02:30:03Go fuck yourself!
02:30:04I'm making an honest living, you fucking piece of shit!
02:30:06Hey, Jordan,
02:30:07let me give you a little legal advice.
02:30:09Shut the fuck up!
02:30:11Oh, fuck you, you fucking prick!
02:30:12I'm making an honest living, you motherfucker!
02:30:17I clean up my act.
02:30:18I did rehab. I'm a TV personality.
02:30:21I'm sober for two years. And this happens!
02:30:24Rugrat goes and gets busted down in Miami.
02:30:26I'm Swiss, I'm not communist.
02:30:27And guess who the fuck with? Saurel.
02:30:29- You gonna beat me? - No, sir.
02:30:30Yeah, I know your country. You're gonna beat me.
02:30:33I mean, what are the fucking odds?
02:30:34There had to be 10,000 Swiss bankers in Geneva,
02:30:37and Rugrat gets the one dumb enough
02:30:39to get himself arrested on U. S. soil.
02:30:41I know.
02:30:42I'm so sorry.
02:30:46Even more fucked
02:30:47- was that he got busted
02:30:49for shit that had nothing to do with me.
02:30:51It had nothing to fucking do with me.
02:30:52Something about laundering drug money
02:30:54through offshore boat racing and a guy named Rocky Aoki,
02:30:57you know, the founder of Benihana.
02:31:06Why, why, God?
02:31:08Why would you be so cruel
02:31:09as to choose a chain of fucking hibachi restaurants
02:31:12to take me down?
02:31:15Long story short. Saurel rats me out.
02:31:18But not before he rats out Brad's wife, Chantalle,
02:31:21who, it turns out, he'd been fucking
02:31:23every time she went to Switzerland!
02:31:27- No, no, no, it's impossible. - Oui, oui, oui.
02:31:32- All right! - Ah!
02:31:34One count engaging in conspiracy
02:31:36to commit securities fraud.
02:31:37Two counts securities fraud.
02:31:40One count engaging in conspiracy to commit money laundering.
02:31:43Twenty-one counts money laundering.
02:31:46One count obstruction of justice.
02:31:49Bail is set at $10 million.
02:32:06Uncle Donnie's here!
02:32:09Rocky. How you doing?
02:32:12Woof. I hate that fucking dog.
02:32:14Yeah, he's getting old and decrepit.
02:32:17Starting to shit in the house again.
02:32:18- Me, too. - Come here, buddy.
02:32:20Ah, fuck.
02:32:21- It's good to see you, pal. - Yeah, you, too.
02:32:23Good to see you.
02:32:24Sit down. Oh, man.
02:32:29How you doing, brother?
02:32:31You know.
02:32:32Shitty, pal.
02:32:34But I'm hanging in there.
02:32:38My new piece of jewelry. Check that out.
02:32:40Can't leave the house, you know?
02:32:43Starting to get cabin fever already.
02:32:46Fucking Rugrat.
02:32:48That wig-wearing faggot.
02:32:49I can't believe that fucking guy. I wanna kill him.
02:32:52Swear to God, I want to choke him to death.
02:32:54Irresponsible little prick.
02:32:58I'll tell you one thing.
02:33:00I'm never eating at Benihana again.
02:33:03I don't care whose birthday it is.
02:33:07Where's Naomi? How's she doing?
02:33:09That's her in the house there.
02:33:11You could say hi, but she probably won't wave back.
02:33:13Naomi, sweetheart!
02:33:18What's up her ass?
02:33:19- Is she mad at me? - No, you know...
02:33:21We probably have to mortgage the house
02:33:23in order to make bail.
02:33:24Probably end up selling the thing
02:33:26in order to pay for all the lawyers.
02:33:28It's been a nightmare, buddy, to tell you the truth.
02:33:31What are you gonna do, right?
02:33:33Anyway, how's Stratton? That's more important.
02:33:36How's morale?
02:33:38They all pissed off 'cause they have to make money legally now?
02:33:40- Jordan. - Hmm?
02:33:42I got the founding partners together.
02:33:45I talked to them about everything.
02:33:48And I got you.
02:33:50What do you mean, you got me?
02:33:52The house, money, don't worry about it. I got you.
02:34:01All right.
02:34:02I love you, buddy.
02:34:03- You know I'd do it for you, right? - I know.
02:34:05- You know that, right? - I know.
02:34:08I could fucking kiss you all over.
02:34:09All right, enough, enough.
02:34:13You want a beer, pal?
02:34:14What are you drinking?
02:34:15I got this non-alcoholic shit.
02:34:17What's that?
02:34:19A non-alcoholic beer. It's got no alcohol.
02:34:22- It's a beer? - Yeah, with no alcohol.
02:34:25But if you drink enough,
02:34:26if you drink a lot, they get you fucked up?
02:34:28No, there's no alcohol. That's the fucking point.
02:34:30I'm not a scientist.
02:34:31I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
02:34:33I can get you a beer if you want a fucking beer.
02:34:34I know, but I don't drink. You remember?
02:34:36I don't drink anymore.
02:34:38Oh, you wanna go inside
02:34:39and blow some lines of baking powder?
02:34:40Or baking soda...
02:34:42Can't imagine ever not enjoying getting fucked up.
02:34:45- Yeah. - I love it.
02:34:46How's being sober?
02:34:48- Fucking sucks. - Boring, right?
02:34:50So boring. I wanna kill myself.
02:34:53There's a term, and we don't like to use it
02:34:55unless circumstances dictate,
02:34:57and I think they do dictate in this case,
02:34:59and the term is "Grenada."
02:35:00Have you ever heard of Grenada?
02:35:02No. No, I haven't.
02:35:03Grenada's very interesting because
02:35:05it is a small island nation
02:35:07that was invaded by the United States of America in 1983.
02:35:10It's about 90,000 people.
02:35:13And essentially, it means
02:35:16this case is unloseable.
02:35:19So, you know, we can come in,
02:35:20we can have our dick hanging out of our pants.
02:35:22Nobody gives a fuck.
02:35:24I'm gonna win.
02:35:25You, sir.
02:35:28Are what's known
02:35:31as a Grenada.
02:35:35You're looking at real prison time.
02:35:39Money laundering can get you as much as 20 years.
02:35:42And our case couldn't be stronger if we caught you
02:35:45shoving cash in your mattress.
02:35:47Is that right?
02:35:49Hey, Jordan. Jordan.
02:35:52Your rotting away in jail till your kids get out of college,
02:35:56that's not our ambition here.
02:35:59There's other people involved in this, too.
02:36:01We think they need to see their day in court as well.
02:36:07Why do I sense there's an offer in the air?
02:36:09Look at him. He's got a sense. What are you, Kreskin?
02:36:13Full cooperation. He provides us with a comprehensive list
02:36:16of all the co-conspirators spanning the last seven years,
02:36:18and he also agrees to wear a wire.
02:36:22Did you just say "wear a wire"?
02:36:24A wire. Mmm-hmm.
02:36:25What does that mean?
02:36:26You want me to rat? Is that it?
02:36:28No, I want you to cooperate.
02:36:30- No. You want me to rat, right? - Yes. We want you to rat.
02:36:32That's fucking exactly what we want you to do. To rat.
02:36:40How was Cristy's party?
02:36:45Babe, I spoke to the lawyers again today.
02:36:48I have some really, really great news.
02:36:52Turns out you're completely off the hook, honey.
02:36:56I know that already.
02:36:57Right. Exactly.
02:36:59You never did anything wrong in the first place, right?
02:37:03It turns out, all the FBI really
02:37:06wants from me is to, uh,
02:37:08to cooperate.
02:37:10You know?
02:37:11Turns out I have so much information
02:37:13about the stock market and Wall Street,
02:37:14I could save the government
02:37:16years of heartache, not to mention
02:37:18- countless dollars. - Mmm-hmm.
02:37:20But it gets even better, babe.
02:37:23Because if I do decide to cooperate,
02:37:26I might only be looking at four short years,
02:37:29in which case, you know,
02:37:31we could start fresh, maybe sell the house.
02:37:34And any fines that I'd have to pay
02:37:35wouldn't be due till after I serve my term,
02:37:37so we'd still have plenty of money left over, you know?
02:37:42The only thing that of course bummed me out a little bit
02:37:45is this whole idea of having to
02:37:48give information about my friends.
02:37:50Like you said, "There's no friends on Wall Street." Right?
02:37:53Right. Right. Exactly.
02:37:55There's a silver lining to that, too, honey.
02:37:57Because they said eventually...
02:37:59Eventually everyone's gonna have to give information on this case.
02:38:02So, at the end of the day, it might not even be a factor. You know?
02:38:05Well, that's good news. Right?
02:38:07Yeah, yeah.
02:38:09I'm really happy for you.
02:38:12What do you mean, happy for me, sweetheart?
02:38:16You should be happy for the both of us. Right?
02:38:18- Yeah, right. - All right.
02:38:23Come here, baby.
02:38:25Give me a kiss, sweetheart.
02:38:27Oh, come on, baby.
02:38:29I haven't made love to you in so long. Please.
02:38:31- No. Jordan, stop it. - Come on, honey, please.
02:38:33No! Jordan, stop it!
02:38:37I've loved you since the moment I saw you.
02:38:43I fucking hate you, Jordan.
02:38:45- Get off me! - Baby... Don't do that.
02:38:49You know how much I love you, right?
02:38:51Stop that, sweetie. Please.
02:38:58You wanna fuck me, Jordan?
02:39:02You wanna fuck me?
02:39:06Go ahead.
02:39:08Go ahead and fuck me.
02:39:11I want you to fuck me real hard.
02:39:14I want you to fuck me like it's the last fucking time.
02:39:16- Why are you moving like that? - Come on.
02:39:18Please hold still.
02:39:19'Cause I want you to come for me, baby.
02:39:20Come on, babe.
02:39:22Come for me, baby.
02:39:23I want you to come for me
02:39:25like it's the last fucking time.
02:39:26- Yeah? - Yeah.
02:39:28Come on, baby. Come for me. Come for me, baby.
02:39:30Come on, baby.
02:39:32- Yeah? - Yeah.
02:39:33- Yeah, baby, come. - You want me to come for you?
02:39:37- You want me to come for you? - Yeah!
02:39:39Huh? You want me to come for you?
02:39:43Oh, God, baby. Yeah!
02:39:45Oh, God. Oh, God.
02:39:49Oh, God.
02:39:52Oh, God.
02:39:58Oh, baby.
02:40:00That was so fucking great!
02:40:02Oh, God!
02:40:06That was the last time.
02:40:08What do you mean, baby?
02:40:10I mean that was the last time we ever have sex.
02:40:14What are you talking about?
02:40:18I want a divorce.
02:40:22What do you mean, you want a divorce?
02:40:24What's that supposed to mean, you want a divorce?
02:40:26Get off me! I want a divorce.
02:40:28You just made love to me.
02:40:29What the fuck is wrong with you?
02:40:31I don't love you anymore, Jordan!
02:40:34Oh, you don't love me?
02:40:37You don't love me anymore, huh?
02:40:38Well, isn't that just fucking convenient for you!
02:40:41Now that I'm under federal indictment,
02:40:43with an electronic bracelet around my ankle,
02:40:45now you decide you don't fucking love me anymore.
02:40:46- Is that right? - No, no.
02:40:48What kind of person are you? Tell me.
02:40:51You married me!
02:40:52What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
02:40:54Jordan, this is how it's gonna go.
02:40:55I'm gonna take custody of the kids.
02:40:58If you agree to the divorce right now,
02:41:00I will allow visitation.
02:41:01- Okay? Don't try to fight it. - Oh, my God.
02:41:03It'll save us both a lot of money
02:41:05and I got a feeling you're gonna need it.
02:41:09You're not taking my kids, sweetheart. You hear me?
02:41:12I've already talked to the lawyer.
02:41:14He said even if you don't get convicted,
02:41:15I've got a good chance of getting them.
02:41:16I got news for you.
02:41:18You're not fucking taking my children,
02:41:19you vicious fucking cunt, you!
02:41:21Fuck you, you fucking bitch!
02:41:24You're not fucking taking my goddamn fucking kids!
02:41:26You hear me? Fuck you!
02:41:27You're not fucking taking my fucking kids!
02:41:39Fucking bitch!
02:41:43Fucking whore!
02:41:49Fucking bitch! Piece of shit fucking whore!
02:42:01Look at yourself, Jordan.
02:42:03You're sick!
02:42:05You're a sick man!
02:42:06Fuck you! I told you, you're not taking my fucking kids!
02:42:08You think I would let my kids near you?
02:42:11Look at yourself!
02:42:12You know what my lawyer said?
02:42:13My lawyer said that you're going to prison for 20 years, Jordan.
02:42:17Twenty fucking years! You're never gonna see the kids again!
02:42:20You don't think I'm not gonna see my...
02:42:22No, I'm not fucking letting you near my kids!
02:42:23You don't think I'm gonna see my fucking kids again, huh?
02:42:26Don't you fucking touch them!
02:42:28Don't you fucking touch me!
02:42:32Sweetheart? You're coming on a trip with Daddy, all right?
02:42:35You're coming on a trip with Daddy.
02:42:40Don't you fucking touch her, Jordan.
02:42:42I swear to God, I will fucking kill you!
02:42:48It's all right, baby.
02:42:49You and Daddy are gonna go
02:42:51on a little trip together, okay?
02:42:52- A little trip together. - Violet!
02:42:55- Get the key! Get the key! - I got it!
02:42:57Jordan, you open this fucking door
02:42:59- right now! Open the door! - Put your seat belt on.
02:43:02There you go. Get your legs in.
02:43:03I'm taking her with me!
02:43:05I told you I'm taking her with me,
02:43:06you fucking bitch!
02:43:07You're not gonna stop me! You're not gonna stop me!
02:43:11We're going on a little trip, honey.
02:43:13No! No!
02:43:16Get the hell out of here!
02:43:17Leave that baby alone!
02:43:19Violet! Garage door! Close it!
02:43:23- Get out of here! - Open the fucking door!
02:43:39Oh, Lord! Oh, my heavens...
02:43:42Get the baby!
02:43:43Naomi, get the baby!
02:43:46- Mommy. - Honey, it's okay.
02:43:48It's gonna be okay.
02:43:49Oh, Mr. Jordan has lost his mind.
02:43:52- Baby... - It's all right, honey.
02:43:54She all right?
02:43:56Is she all right?
02:43:58What's the matter with you?
02:44:00Is she all right?
02:44:08Paragraph 1.
02:44:10The defendant shall plead guilty
02:44:11to all counts of the indictment
02:44:13currently pending against him
02:44:15in the United States District Court
02:44:17for the Eastern District of New York.
02:44:19Paragraph 2.
02:44:20Talk normally.
02:44:22The defendant shall participate
02:44:23in undercover activities...
02:44:25Breathe normally.
02:44:26Including wearing a recording device,
02:44:28also known as a wire...
02:44:30After five minutes, you'll forget you even have it on.
02:44:32In conjunction with the investigation...
02:44:33Fucking brutal.
02:44:35Quit your bitching.
02:44:36Paragraph 4. The defendant must not commit,
02:44:38or attempt to commit, any further crimes.
02:44:40Please. Let me just sign the fucking thing already.
02:44:44Thank you.
02:44:48Just here?
02:44:49That'd be good.
02:44:53Thank you.
02:44:54It wasn't even a choice.
02:44:57For the next six hours, I came up with a list.
02:45:00Friends, enemies, business associates.
02:45:03Anybody who 'd ever known me
02:45:05or taken so much as a stock tip.
02:45:12Wolfie! Wolfie! Wolfie!
02:45:17The first name on the list was Donnie.
02:45:22Jordan, do you know how good it is
02:45:23to have you back in this office?
02:45:25It's not the same when you're gone.
02:45:27It's sad, you understand? It's like...
02:45:29That fucking Steve Madden, huh?
02:45:31I can't...
02:45:32Swear to God, I can't even think about it.
02:45:34Every time I think about him, my blood boils.
02:45:36I can't even say his name.
02:45:38- I know. - It's, like, disgusting.
02:45:39I grew up with this guy and he betrays me like that.
02:45:43He ever get back to you about that, um...
02:45:47About that account?
02:45:54You remember.
02:45:55It was like 4 or 5 mil, something like that, right?
02:45:57He was supposed to kick back 4 or 5 mil, was it?
02:46:05Actually, I was...
02:46:06I was fucked up, Jordan,
02:46:08- so I don't really remember. - Yeah.
02:46:10Yeah, right. Stupid.
02:46:12Well, if he calls you,
02:46:14you make sure and contact me, okay?
02:46:18- Yeah. Of course. - Yeah.
02:46:20Of course, yeah. No, of course.
02:46:25You gonna eat that last piece of yellowtail, bud?
02:46:29No, it's all yours.
02:46:31Can I get this?
02:46:35So, what else is...
02:46:40Well, how's Naomi and everything?
02:46:42You know how it is.
02:46:43She hates my fucking guts.
02:46:47How's Hildy? Good?
02:46:50She's still alive, so
02:46:51my life is fucked, you know?
02:47:01Mr. Jordan.
02:47:04Mr. Jordan, you got a visitor.
02:47:09You've got a visitor.
02:47:26I need you to get dressed.
02:47:28Why? What the fuck's going on?
02:47:35You're going to jail.
02:47:49All right.
02:47:50I'll get some clothes on.
02:47:52We'll give you a hand with that.
02:48:18Everybody sit down. Put your hands
02:48:19where they can be seen, and shut up!
02:48:21Don't you fucking touch me.
02:48:23Get your fucking hands off me!
02:48:25Don't get out of your seats!
02:48:40It's fucking Chanel!
02:48:55I gave up everyone.
02:48:57And in return,
02:48:59I got three years in some hellhole in Nevada I'd never even heard of.
02:49:05Like my pops, Mad Max, had said,
02:49:08"The chickens had come home to roost."
02:49:12Whatever the fuck that means.
02:49:18I hope Your Honor would agree
02:49:19that Mr. Belfort has distinguished himself
02:49:21in terms of his cooperation.
02:49:23Mr. Belfort has helped the government win convictions
02:49:26of over two dozen serious offenders
02:49:29and helped them recover millions of dollars
02:49:31to be made available for restitution to their victims.
02:49:37The sentence of the court shall be
02:49:3936 months in federal prison.
02:49:42Please remand the defendant.
02:49:47I'm sorry.
02:49:51That's okay.
02:50:41I'm not ashamed to admit it.
02:50:43When we arrived at the prison,
02:50:45I was absolutely terrified.
02:50:48Belfort, on your feet.
02:50:50But I needn't have been.
02:50:52You see, for a brief fleeting moment,
02:50:56I 'd forgotten I was rich.
02:50:59And I lived in a place where everything was for sale.
02:51:05Wouldn't you like to learn how to sell it?
02:51:07So listen. I've met some bad motherfuckers in my life.
02:51:10I'm talking about rock stars,
02:51:12professional athletes, gangsters.
02:51:14I'm telling you, some real bad motherfuckers.
02:51:16But this guy, my good friend,
02:51:18Mr. Jordan Belfort, is the single
02:51:21baddest motherfucker I have ever met.
02:51:24So I want you right now
02:51:26to give a warm Auckland, New Zealand welcome
02:51:29for my good friend
02:51:31and the world's greatest sales trainer,
02:51:34Mr. Jordan Belfort!
02:51:47Thank you.
02:52:11Sell me this pen.
02:52:18It's, uh...
02:52:20It's an amazing pen.
02:52:22For professionals, it's a...
02:52:27Sell me this pen.
02:52:30Well, it's a nice pen.
02:52:31You can use the pen
02:52:33to write down thoughts from your life so you can...
02:52:38Sell me
02:52:39this pen.
02:52:45This pen works and I personally love this pen...

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