I Love You, Man

00:00:47Looks good, right?
00:00:54So, my plan is to create this cluster of live/work lofts
00:00:59all along the perimeter here. And. . . Come here.
00:01:02l also am planning this neighborhood-y kind of dining and retail area
00:01:06in the central square.
00:01:07You know, l even had this thought that maybe you, Denise and Hailey
00:01:09could open up a second location for your store.
00:01:12Really? Because Denise keeps talking
00:01:14about wanting to open up another branch.
00:01:16Well, it'd be great. Yeah.
00:01:17Look, the land is a little pricey, so l couldn't develop it right away,
00:01:20but once l sell the Ferrigno estate,
00:01:22l figured out l could at least put a down payment on it
00:01:24and still have enough money left over for the reception in Santa Barbara.
00:01:29What are you talking about? What reception?
00:01:33Zooey, l know it's only been eight months,
00:01:36but l am so madly, insanely, ridiculously in love with you.
00:01:46Will you marry me?
00:01:48Yes! lt just happened two minutes ago, Hailey.
00:01:51-Can you believe it? -No, I can't. It's amazing.
00:01:54Oh, my God. I've been on Iike 1 0 miIIion dates,
00:01:56and you end up marrying some totaIIy awesome guy
00:01:58who randomIy waIks into our store?
00:02:00lt's so cute. She doesn't know she's on speakerphone.
00:02:02You do not know how Iucky you are.
00:02:04lt is impossible to find a good guy in this city.
00:02:07-I know. -l thought we were connecting.
00:02:09-Oh, my God. Really? -Kind of.
00:02:12l'm sorry, but not really.
00:02:14-Hey, will you conference in Denise? -Oh, my God! You caIIed me first?
00:02:18-Oh, God. -Awesome. Yes. HoId on.
00:02:21Hi.
00:02:32-l love that piece of land. lt's perfect. -l'm glad.
00:02:35l mean, l know the neighborhood's a little, you know. . .
00:02:37Oh, my God, Zo! I cannot fucking beIieve you didn't caII me first!
00:02:40You are such a freak. Hailey's first on my speed dial.
00:02:44No, no, no, I'm totaIIy kidding. I'm so psyched for you.
00:02:46I feeI Iike I'm gonna puke right now.
00:02:47Oh, my God, hold on.
00:02:48Barry hates when l'm in the house during his poker night.
00:02:50Would you give me a second, you fat douche?
00:02:52Get out. Get out of the fucking house. . .
00:02:53-Zooey just got engaged ! -To who?
00:02:55-"To who," are you joking? To Peter. -To who? To me.
00:02:57-I don't know Peter. -l've met the guy like 20 times.
00:02:58-You've met him like 20 times. -l don't know Peter.
00:03:00-You don't know Peter? -l have no idea who that is.
00:03:02Okay, we've been on like 20 dates with him.
00:03:03-You don't know him? -l've never met Peter.
00:03:05You are such an asshole.
00:03:07Sorry, Zo. Have you set a date?
00:03:08Yes. June 30th in Santa Barbara.
00:03:10Peter already booked the place we went for that long weekend.
00:03:12So romantic.
00:03:13Oh, my God. He is so romantic.
00:03:15That's the place where you guys fucked for the first time, right?
00:03:22No.
00:03:23No, no, no, that was the hot tub in Mexico.
00:03:25That's right. Santa Barbara was just oral.
00:03:27-Yeah. -You guys.
00:03:28That's right. The hot tub, yeah.
00:03:30lt was Mexico. You had your period in Santa Barbara and you wanted to wait.
00:03:33God, you're so oId-fashioned, Zooey.
00:03:35-You told them about the hot tub? -Maybe.
00:03:39-Wow. So, June 30th? -Yeah, l know. lt's soon, but. . .
00:03:43Who cares? Peter's a doll,
00:03:44and he goes down on you like six times a week.
00:03:46-What are you waiting for? -Wow.
00:03:48Marry him. Don't wait.
00:03:49Lock that tongue down, girl.
00:03:50Yeah. lt's gonna be great.
00:03:52All right, you guys, l'll call you later. Love you.
00:04:04lt is beautiful. lt's totally understated, and it's just. . . lt's perfect.
00:04:10l know! No, he's the best. l feel so lucky.
00:04:14All right. All right, Debbie. l'll talk to you tomorrow. Bye.
00:04:18Honey! l've been totally hogging the phone.
00:04:20-Who do you wanna call? -l'm okay.
00:04:22My parents are probably asleep, so l'll just talk to them tomorrow.
00:04:24You don't wanna tell any of your friends?
00:04:26l'll make some calls this weekend.
00:04:28Really? Well, what about that guy, Tevin?
00:04:29You talk to him like 20 times a day, right?
00:04:32Well, yeah. He works two cubicles away from me.
00:04:34l'll see him Monday morning.
00:04:35Or what's his name? The one that you fence with.
00:04:37-Gil? -Gil.
00:04:38Gil. Gilliam.
00:04:41No, he's not really a "call right away" kind of friend.
00:04:47Toasting.
00:04:58-Hi ! Hi. -Hi.
00:05:02-Congratulations. -Thanks, Mom.
00:05:04-Excellent meat. -So good.
00:05:06-This is delicious. Thank you so much. -Really is, Mom.
00:05:09Thank you.
00:05:11But did Peter have any good friends growing up?
00:05:14l honestly don't remember any.
00:05:16All right, look, Zooey, just to clarify here,
00:05:17my dad worked for lBM, so we moved a lot when l was a kid.
00:05:21Robbie always managed to have friends.
00:05:22Of course, he probably wanted to suck their dicks, but. . .
00:05:24Oswald !
00:05:26No, Mom, it's cool. l totally did.
00:05:28But he doesn't have to use that kind of language.
00:05:30-lndeed. -Why?
00:05:31My son is a gay man, and l embrace his lifestyle.
00:05:34lt's true. Dad loves the gays.
00:05:36l actually made him an honorary homo last month.
00:05:40The point is, Zooey, Peter always connected better with women.
00:05:44You know, l can see that because he's a great boyfriend.
00:05:47Thank you, fiancée.
00:05:49Also, you gotta understand, Zooey.
00:05:50Peter matured sexually at a very early age.
00:05:53l remember taking him swimming when he was 1 2 years old.
00:05:55Kid had a bush like a 40-year-old Serbian.
00:05:58Come on. Okay. Dad, please, stop talking.
00:06:01-Good to know. -Nice.
00:06:03Come on. He had a Speedo full of Brillo. Be proud.
00:06:06God.
00:06:07Who invited the stand-up comedian over here?
00:06:11Zooey, here's the deal. Peter's always been a "girlfriend guy."
00:06:14He put all his focus and energy into his relationships,
00:06:17and all his dude friends just fell by the wayside.
00:06:19Zooey, don't listen to him, all right? l mean, we're eight years apart.
00:06:22Barely grew up together in the same house.
00:06:24This is ridiculous. Why is it weird that l had girlfriends?
00:06:27Nothing. We're just saying you never really had a best friend, is all.
00:06:30-Well, who's your best friend? -l have two.
00:06:32Hank Mardukas has been my closest friend
00:06:34since our first year at lBM.
00:06:35-Best man at our wedding. Yeah. -Yeah. Yeah, he was.
00:06:37Talk to him two, three times a week on the phone for 30 years now.
00:06:41And then there's Robbie.
00:06:43What's up?
00:06:46-Robbie is your other best friend? -Correct. And Hank Mardukas.
00:07:34What the shit is he looking at?
00:07:43Davis Dunn Realty, how may l direct your call? Please hold.
00:07:47Hold, please. Put him through to Tevin.
00:07:51lt's very close to downtown. How close do you wanna be?
00:07:55Thank you, sweetheart.
00:07:57l can't get you that close. 'Cause the schools are terrible.
00:08:03The skyscrapers were all lit up. l got down on one knee.
00:08:05She was totally surprised.
00:08:07Well, l'm jealous, Peter, 'cause you never gave me a shot.
00:08:12But you're gonna make the best husband.
00:08:13Stop it. Stop. All right, you can continue now.
00:08:21Morning, Trayce.
00:08:25-Hey, Tevin. -Hey, man.
00:08:27What's so funny?
00:08:28One of the guys in my fantasy football league
00:08:29just sent me a QuickTime.
00:08:30lt's a grandma riding a Sybian machine.
00:08:33What's that?
00:08:34lt's one of those vibrating saddles
00:08:36that women sit on to give them, like, super intense orgasms.
00:08:40Check it out.
00:08:43-Damn! -How sick is that?
00:08:45lt's very. That's very sick.
00:08:47So awesome.
00:08:50Hey. So, what up, dog? How's that Ferrigno dealio coming?
00:08:53lt's coming good. Yeah. l'm getting ready to show in a couple of weeks.
00:08:56Great. Dude, l'm just gonna throw this out there
00:08:58because it's a big piece of house.
00:09:00lf you want a copilot on this, l'd be happy to team up with you.
00:09:03No, l know. l feel like l wanna give myself the challenge
00:09:07-and just see how it goes. . . -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:09:08-l appreciate the offer. -No sweat.
00:09:10Hey, anyway, you know, my girlfriend and l. . .
00:09:13Well, we had this very special evening planned, and l. . .
00:09:17She's a squirter! She's squirting ! Peter, we got a squirter!
00:09:23Old Faithful !
00:09:26Hello, fiancée.
00:09:27Hey, baby. I totaIIy forgot. It's my turn to host Iadies' night.
00:09:30No prob. l have fencing practice, anyway.
00:09:33l'll grab a beer with Gil and the boys afterward. Hit them with the big news.
00:09:37-Great! I gotta go. Love you. -l love you, too.
00:09:41Peter! Peter!
00:09:44l'm sending it to you.
00:09:45-No. l don't want it. -You got it.
00:09:48God !
00:09:49Wait a minute, l didn't even click. . . How does it. . . l didn't even click it on.
00:09:54She's got a bush like a porcupine.
00:09:55l don't wanna know anything about her bush. Hi, Lynette.
00:10:06-Suck it! -Good bout, Gil. Sweet bout!
00:10:10Good job.
00:10:12Wow. Way to go, buddy.
00:10:16-Great bout. -Fuck off!
00:10:21Bro, really sorry l lost my shit out there.
00:10:23l just did not see that ln Quartata coming.
00:10:25Hey, man, don't worry.
00:10:27You know, you came in with a pretty sweet glissade.
00:10:29Anybody seen my manchette?
00:10:31Did you look under your plastron, dick wicker?
00:10:33-Fuck you, Larry! -Fuck you, Eugene.
00:10:36-Classic. -Thank you, Larry.
00:10:41Hey, so you guys want to, like, get some grub
00:10:44or grab a beer or something?
00:10:45We're actually heading up to Joshua Tree tonight.
00:10:48Oh, yeah? What's going on up there?
00:10:49We're just doing this thing for Eugene, you know.
00:10:51Kind of a bachelor party/camping trip kind of thing, you know.
00:10:56l didn't even know you were getting married.
00:10:58Yeah. Taking the leap next Sunday.
00:11:01-Great. -Dirty little slut.
00:11:03He's gonna lose his virginity finally.
00:11:06l've fucked my girlfriend. He's kidding.
00:11:08Right on ! Very cool. Very, very cool. That's cool.
00:11:13l would've invited you, man. l just didn't think that you'd be into it.
00:11:16You never really come out with us after practice and stuff.
00:11:18Oh, no, dude. . . Don't even.
00:11:21lt's so fine. Really. Thanks, though. Thank you, but. . .
00:11:24You know, it's funny, actually. l just got engaged myself.
00:11:28-Wow. That's awesome. -You did? Congratulations.
00:11:31-MazeI tov. -That's great.
00:11:33Good luck with that.
00:11:34-Thank you. And you, too. -Thanks.
00:11:38Yeah.
00:11:40All right, well, we should probably hit the road.
00:11:42-Traffic. -Yes.
00:11:43-Have a blast. -Shotgun.
00:11:44-We'll be back on Wednesday, right? -Yeah.
00:11:46Play a U2 record while you're there.
00:11:48-Good. 'Cause of Joshua Tree. -That's right.
00:11:56lt's hilarious, know what l mean?
00:12:03No, l'm serious. You know what my favorite nights are?
00:12:05Hanging out with you girls, and l can do that guilt-free
00:12:08because Barry loves hanging out with his friends, too.
00:12:10l mean, every weekend, there's a golf getaway,
00:12:12a ski trip, a weekend in Vegas.
00:12:14Wait, Vegas? You're not worried he's gonna cheat on you?
00:12:16He's 40 pounds overweight with a Jewfro and a small dick.
00:12:20Look, l love the guy to death, but l'm far and away
00:12:22the best-looking woman he's ever gonna get,
00:12:24and l'm only a 7, so, come on.
00:12:25Oh, my God. You're not a 7.
00:12:38Peter's not a freakazoid.
00:12:40l don't know, Zo. l mean, l think this is kind of serious.
00:12:42A guy without friends can be really clingy.
00:12:45Like, my brother-in-law drives my sister crazy.
00:12:47He's always like, "When are you gonna be home?
00:12:49"Where're you going? Can l come with you?
00:12:51"But nothing's on TV. What am l gonna do?"
00:12:53-That's. . . No, come on. What the. . . -"Be home before midnight."
00:12:55Peter's not like that. Please. He's just not like that.
00:12:58Well, just wait.
00:12:59But anyway, you've got six bridesmaids and a maid of honor.
00:13:02lt's gonna be a little weird if we're walking down the aisle alone.
00:13:04-Yeah, l know. -He's great.
00:13:06-So who's gonna be his best man? -l have no idea.
00:13:08l honestly think that his best friend is his mom.
00:13:11-Terrible. -No, no, no. Not like that.
00:13:15Peter?
00:13:21Honey?
00:13:27Hey!
00:13:28-Hey! -Hey!
00:13:31l made you guys some root beer floats.
00:13:35Peter, are those chocolate straws?
00:13:37Yeah. Pirouettes. Pepperidge Farm.
00:13:40Thank you so much for the floats, baby. That was so sweet.
00:13:43My pleasure. Enjoy.
00:13:44-Hey, congratulations on the wedding. -Congratulations!
00:13:48l know. lt's so exciting. l feel so grown-up.
00:13:51-All right, sir. -Okay, ma'am.
00:13:55Okay.
00:13:57Shit! Do you think he heard us?
00:13:59-No. -No way.
00:14:01l gotta get some fucking friends.
00:14:06This is cool. You're coming to me for help.
00:14:08Well, the good news is not only do l know men,
00:14:11but straight guys are my specialty.
00:14:13What does that mean?
00:14:14l get bored pursuing gays. l like to give myself more of a challenge.
00:14:18-Yeah ! -Excuse me one second.
00:14:20There you go, brother. Dig deep, come on.
00:14:22Push that shit out. Look at me, l'm pinkies. l'm barely touching it.
00:14:25You're clear. Locked it in, dude. Nice job. Nice lift.
00:14:30-Thanks, man. -You're welcome.
00:14:31All right, l'll see you around.
00:14:34l hope so.
00:14:42-That guy was totally flirting with you. -l told you.
00:14:44And did you see his wedding ring? Straight as an arrow.
00:14:47l'm telling you, hooking up is easy.
00:14:49Meeting platonic male friends, not so much.
00:14:51So, what do l do? l mean, how do l meet friends?
00:14:53lt's such a weird concept.
00:14:55Well, l can do some recon around the gym,
00:14:58but you're gonna have to be aggressive about this, man.
00:15:00-Yeah, yeah. -Use the lnternet to meet guys.
00:15:02Get Mom to fix you up.
00:15:04l mean, if you see a cool-looking guy, strike up a conversation
00:15:06-and ask him on a man-date. -A what?
00:15:08-A man-date. -Okay.
00:15:10-You know what l mean? -No.
00:15:11By that, l mean a casual lunch or after-work drinks, okay?
00:15:14No dinner and no movies.
00:15:16You're not taking these boys to see The DeviI Wears Prada.
00:15:19God, l love that movie.
00:15:21No, l won't. l got you. l know what you mean.
00:15:23This is really exciting. We're gonna find you some friends.
00:15:26-So l'm gonna. . . What do l do? -You don't play much?
00:15:29-l used to play a lot of Hearts in college. -This is the same thing.
00:15:33l don't even know why he called. This guy hasn't even played poker.
00:15:36l don't know. l don't know, but it's Zooey's fiancé,
00:15:38so just shut the fuck up and be nice.
00:15:40Well, if l do this, we have sex with the lights on when you get home.
00:15:42-Really? -Yeah. Like in Jamaica.
00:15:46-Fine. -All night long.
00:15:48-Fine. Love you. -All right.
00:15:51My brother's a great guy, you know? l mean, he's smart, he's. . .
00:15:56Well, actually, l don't know him that well,
00:15:57but l'll give you five free sessions if you take him out.
00:16:01Go Beckham !
00:16:04So glad Robbie hooked this up. This is awesome! This is awesome!
00:16:07-Me, too. This is really. . . -lsn't this great, man? l love soccer!
00:16:10Here we go, Galaxy! Here we go!
00:16:17Come on, Peter, stand up. Here we go. . .
00:16:19Shut the fuck up!
00:16:20All right, now people are really upset.
00:16:22-You shut up! -No, you shut up!
00:16:23-You shut up! -Hey, watch the game!
00:16:25Honey, he just moved to LA. He barely knows anyone.
00:16:29He's an architect.
00:16:30His mother says he's so excited to meet you.
00:16:33Robbie toId me not to have dinner with any of these guys.
00:16:36Your brother's a crazy person. One dinner won't kill you.
00:16:40-Doug? -Peter?
00:16:42-Hey. -Hey.
00:16:46-So you just moved here, huh? -l did. Pretty recently.
00:16:49A couple of weeks. Fresh off the boat from Chicago.
00:16:54Chi-Town.
00:16:55-Windy City. -Oh, yeah.
00:16:58Da Bears.
00:17:01Those sports guys.
00:17:03You know what else, the other old Saturday Night Live one l love? The. . .
00:17:07What's the one Dana Carvey does with the old lady who's like. . .
00:17:10-Church Lady? -Yes! Yes!
00:17:12"lsn't that special?"
00:17:17That sounded kind of more leprechaun-y.
00:17:19-lt did? -lt did a little. Like a leprechaun.
00:17:25Nice to meet you, too, Mel Stein.
00:17:28The picture's from a coupIe of years back.
00:17:33Have a seat. l'm so happy to meet you in person, you know.
00:17:38Me, too. How long have you been using the lnternet?
00:17:43Three or four years.
00:17:45l didn't know anything about it until a couple of years ago.
00:17:47-You're good at it now. -Thank you.
00:17:49-And the big dog ! -There it is!
00:17:52Let me ask you guys. Let me ask you guys.
00:17:54Beatles, Stones. On a count of three.
00:17:56-One, two, three. Beatles. -All in.
00:17:58-Fuck you. -l don't care.
00:18:00-All in. -You're an idiot.
00:18:02That's you, pal.
00:18:03l will call in.
00:18:05-Too much for me. -You're in.
00:18:06-Anybody else? Just me and you? -Yeah.
00:18:08That's it? Pot right? Trip queens.
00:18:10-Nice. -Three ladies. Three ladies.
00:18:13-Nice hand. -Finally. Fucking finally.
00:18:15-Wait, let's see what he's got. -Yeah, let's see what he's got.
00:18:18l have nothing. l have five spades.
00:18:21-That's a flush. -Yes, one, two, three. . .
00:18:23Flush !
00:18:24He's a fucking asshole.
00:18:26-Relax. -l'm not gonna relax.
00:18:27-What? -l said you're an asshole, Peter.
00:18:30Don't take it too seriously.
00:18:32What are you staying in with seven deuce suited?
00:18:35With a fucking rainbow rag flop! Take the fucking chips. l'm buying in.
00:18:39-l'm sorry. . . -Just give me some more chips.
00:18:40l didn't know it was a rainbow.
00:18:42-ls the wine treating you well? -lt opened up beautifully. Thank you.
00:18:45-Excellent. -Come on.
00:18:48-Hot. Hot. -Oh, my God.
00:18:51-She's so hot. -She's smoking.
00:18:55All right, Pete, you done a boat race, right?
00:18:56-No. -Just drink the fucking beer,
00:18:58-and you'll get the hang of it. -l've got it. l will. . .
00:19:00Doesn't matter who's winning.
00:19:01lt comes down to you and me.
00:19:02-lt's gonna be anchors. -We're the anchors.
00:19:04-Let's boat. . . Let's boat race! Race it up! -Ain't no luck in boat racing.
00:19:07One! Two! Three! Go!
00:19:09Come on, Pete! lt's all you, Peter!
00:19:12Go, go, go!
00:19:17Take him down !
00:19:18-One more time! -Let's go!
00:19:25Come on ! Go, Barry!
00:19:27-Barry! Damn it, Barry! -Fuck!
00:19:29Yes! ln your face! ln your. . .
00:19:35Holy shit!
00:19:39-l'm sorry. -Get out of my house.
00:19:41-l'm so sorry. -Just get out of my fucking house.
00:19:45-l'm sorry. -This is not cool ! Get the fuck out!
00:19:50l gotta tell you, Doug, l really enjoyed this.
00:19:52You know, l've been out with so many jerks recently.
00:19:54lt's nice to meet somebody l can have an actual conversation with.
00:19:57-Let's do it again. -l'd love to.
00:19:58Okay. Tomorrow night. Matsuhisa, 8:00.
00:20:02-l will see you there, sir. -Awesome.
00:20:24You've been so busy.
00:20:25l've hardly seen you these past couple weeks.
00:20:28l know. l've been crazy at work.
00:20:31l'm happy to see you now.
00:20:40-Have you been kissing someone? -No.
00:20:45Peter, your mouth tastes like an ashtray.
00:20:50Yes. l went to dinner with this guy, and he kissed me.
00:20:55What the fuck are you talking about?
00:20:57My mom set me up with this guy,
00:20:59and he thought l was gay, and it was just. . .
00:21:01lt was a whole misunderstanding.
00:21:03-Your mom set you up with a guy? -Yeah.
00:21:05You told me you were going to dinner with a client.
00:21:07-No. -What the hell is going on?
00:21:09Look, l overheard you talking to the other girls
00:21:12on your girls' night and. . .
00:21:14l knew it.
00:21:15Look, l know that you're stressed out that l don't have any close friends,
00:21:18so l've been trying to meet someone.
00:21:22Right, you've been. . . Okay, so that explains a lot.
00:21:24l thought it was so weird that you wanted to hang out with Barry.
00:21:27-Yeah, exactly. That guy's a dick. -Yeah.
00:21:30-l threw up in his face. -Yeah, l know. Denise told me.
00:21:33-l threw up in his. . . A lot. -Yeah.
00:21:35-Projectiled. -Yeah.
00:21:37-That's a real thing. -Yeah.
00:21:40Well, l don't think l'm gonna meet anybody by June 30th,
00:21:42so our wedding party's gonna be a little uneven.
00:21:45Peter, l don't care. l just want you to be happy
00:21:49and to stop kissing strange men.
00:21:56Wow, it's really smoky in there.
00:21:59Yeah, he got up in there.
00:22:01-Tongue? -Oh, yeah.
00:22:02You wouldn't mind brushing your teeth, would you?
00:22:04No. l've already done it a couple of times.
00:22:08l'll do the mouthwash again.
00:22:09-There's some Tom's in the top cabinet. -No, l gotta go with chemicals on this.
00:22:14-l love you. -l love you, too. l might use Comet.
00:22:40lt's a pleasure to meet you.
00:22:42l live down there.
00:22:44l like it. l'm liking it.
00:22:46-Yeah? -Yeah.
00:22:48lt's a good space, you know? lt's a good vibe.
00:22:49-Yeah? Terrific. -Yeah.
00:22:51Well, when the Santa Anas come through, it is majestic.
00:22:53-Thanks. -l'm excited.
00:22:54-We'll let you know. -Okay.
00:22:56Thank you.
00:23:00-Hello. -Hi.
00:23:01-lf you need any help, just let me know. -Thanks.
00:23:03Sure.
00:23:12Thank you for eating.
00:23:14-l'm the first one, huh? -Yeah.
00:23:16l never understood why people are so afraid to eat at an open house.
00:23:19l know.
00:23:21Why's Ferrigno selling?
00:23:22He bought a place in Jackson Hole.
00:23:24Yeah, l think he's tired of the Hollywood grind.
00:23:26Right.
00:23:27You know, l've always wanted a pad with a giant Lou Ferrigno statue,
00:23:30so l think l've found it.
00:23:33He's got one.
00:23:35You're wasting your time with that couple. Just FYl.
00:23:38Why do you say that?
00:23:40l saw the guy pull in. He's driving a Saab 9.3,
00:23:43which, l'm not a snob, it's a great car, but it costs $30,000.
00:23:46This house must be, what, 4, $4.2 million?
00:23:50Doesn't quite compute, right?
00:23:51Well, l hope that's not the case. He told me he was gonna make an offer.
00:23:55l think he's trying to impress that girl he hasn't slept with yet.
00:23:58-The feng shui. -Yeah.
00:24:01How do you know that?
00:24:03Well, it's body language, you know?
00:24:06Look, that guy needs to fart.
00:24:07lt's pretty clear, but he doesn't know her well enough
00:24:09to do it in front of her, so l assume they haven't slept together.
00:24:12-l like it. You okay? -Yeah, no, l'm fine. l'm good.
00:24:16-He does seem to be clenching. -Yeah, he doesn't wanna fart.
00:24:18Watch. When he gets enough space, he's gonna let one rip, l guarantee you.
00:24:23That's a good move.
00:24:25"Hey, go check out the kitchen, honey. l'll meet you in there."
00:24:27-Okay. Yeah. -Now watch.
00:24:30He's making his move slowly. Slowly but surely. Watch the leg.
00:24:34Wait for it. Wait for it. Fart.
00:24:37-Boom. That's a fart, motherfucker. -Oh, my God.
00:24:39-That's a fucking fart. -Oh, my God !
00:24:41Look at him crop-dusting across your open house. lt's a disgrace.
00:24:45-He farted in my open house. -He sure did.
00:24:49You know what, guy?
00:24:50l like it, but l'm thinking it might be a little bit small.
00:24:53Totally, and it smells like fart.
00:24:56-What? -Never mind.
00:24:57Let's take off, baby. Come on.
00:24:59Roll down the windows in that car, sweetheart.
00:25:02You called that. That was like a play-by-play.
00:25:04That's amazing. You called that!
00:25:05-Yeah. Well, l know my farts. -Unbelievable.
00:25:07Well, listen, just full disclosure.
00:25:11l have no interest in buying this house.
00:25:13Well, then why are you here?
00:25:15To eat your free food and to try to meet a divorcée.
00:25:18-Are you serious? -l am.
00:25:19Yeah. l've found that at the classy open houses,
00:25:22the spread is usually pretty decent,
00:25:24and there's a beautiful bevy of attractive and newly-single women.
00:25:29l don't know what to say. Thank you for your honesty.
00:25:34Thank you for the sun-dried tomato aioli, because it's a revelation.
00:25:37-Wow. Hey, thanks for noticing. -Yeah.
00:25:40All right, l'm gonna take this panini for the road.
00:25:42There's an open house in Bel Air that promises to be replete with cougars.
00:25:45-You don't wanna miss that. -No, sir.
00:25:47-lt was nice to meet you. Yeah. -You, too.
00:25:49Hey, you know what, here, let me give you my business card.
00:25:51-All right. -ln case you're looking for,
00:25:53you know, a new home or anything.
00:25:54l actually specialize in smaller houses, bungalows, that kind of thing.
00:25:57-Lovely. Let me give you mine, as well. -Okay.
00:26:01-"Sydney Fife." -That is my name.
00:26:03There you go.
00:26:04Well, thank you for the great open house.
00:26:06-My plezh. Okay. -All right.
00:26:08-Nice to meet you. -You, too, Sydney.
00:26:16Hello.
00:26:20l can't just call him.
00:26:21Why are you being such a chickenshit?
00:26:23He gave you his card. lt's an open invitation.
00:26:25Engage your core.
00:26:26lt's beach season. lt's beach season.
00:26:29l hate this. There's no rules for male friendships.
00:26:31What are you freaking out about? You went out with those other guys.
00:26:33-l'm really nervous about this one. -'Cause you really like him.
00:26:37All right, buddy, great set. Take five, l'll come rub you down.
00:26:41Look, if he does call, no more dinners, okay?
00:26:44-lt's sending the wrong message. -l know, l know.
00:26:46Hey, Peter! l got an extra ticket to the Galaxy game tonight!
00:26:50You know what? Thanks, man, l'm sorry, l can't. l got a function.
00:26:55l got season ticks. l'll get you on the flip side. Here we go.
00:26:59Hey, thanks a lot for hooking me up with Elmo over there.
00:27:01-That was a blast. -What? That guy's cool.
00:27:04Here we go. Here we go. Come on, push it out.
00:27:06Everything you got! Everything you got! Everything you got!
00:27:20Yeah.
00:27:22Just to. . .
00:27:26Hey. . . Pathetic.
00:27:29Sydney, how you doing? lt's Peter Klaven.
00:27:31Hey, Sydney, it's Peter Klaven. We met at the open house last week.
00:27:34Get some guts, would you? l got some cheese. Give me a break.
00:27:39No. Oh, my God.
00:27:44-Hey, Peter. -Hey, Carolyn.
00:27:51Sorry.
00:27:52Fife. You know what to do.
00:27:54Hey, Peter. lt's Sydney Klaven. No, that's not right.
00:28:01Sydney, it's Peter Klaven.
00:28:03l met you last week at an open house,
00:28:07and l had a showing and. . .
00:28:12Anyway, l was wondering if you ever wanted to get together
00:28:18and talk about real estate and whatnot. Or whatnot. And. . .
00:28:23-Hey, sugar. -Hey.
00:28:31l'm sorry, l forgot what l was gonna say. What was l saying?
00:28:36Yes, the open house and we met. . . Anyway, no rush.
00:28:40You call me back whenever you get a mo. Get a moment.
00:28:44And we will talk when l talk to you.
00:28:49All right. Hope you're having a great day.
00:28:52Okay. Bye, now.
00:29:03Fuck.
00:29:06l'm fine with a little mercury poisoning as long as it means l get to eat raw fish,
00:29:10'cause l love it so much.
00:29:12My doctor said it's really bad if you're trying to get pregnant.
00:29:14l heard that.
00:29:15Which Barry and l are doing.
00:29:19Oh, my God, that's so exciting !
00:29:22-l'm sorry. -What?
00:29:23l'm sorry. l just pictured you and Barry having sex.
00:29:26And he's so big and you're so tiny, and l just. . .
00:29:28-Hailey. . . -Like, l totally imagined Barry just like. . .
00:29:30Okay, hold on, wait.
00:29:32Why are you even imagining us doing it anyway?
00:29:33-l'm seeing it again. -Well, stop! Stop! Cut it!
00:29:35No, l love Barry.
00:29:37-Hey! -Hey!
00:29:38-Hey! Hey! -Hi !
00:29:40-Hi ! -What are you doing here?
00:29:42l just had a meeting downtown with the owners of the development site,
00:29:45so thought l'd stop in and say hi on my way back to the office.
00:29:47So, Peter, how's your little manhunt coming?
00:29:50Really, you told them? Shocking.
00:29:52Well, l mean, Barry and his friends
00:29:54said they had a great time with you the other night.
00:29:56-Seriously? -No.
00:29:57Well, l just. . . l don't drink that much and they pound.
00:30:00They were pounding drinks.
00:30:01Yeah, you're not used to drinking that much.
00:30:02Excuse me just a second.
00:30:07Peter Klaven.
00:30:10Excuse me just one. . . Hey, Sydney. How are you?
00:30:14ls that a man or a woman?
00:30:15l don't know. l've never heard of Sydney.
00:30:18l could be in Venice by 5:00, yeah. l can do that.
00:30:22lt's a man-date. lt's a man-date. This is a man-date.
00:30:24James' Beach Bar and Grill.
00:30:27l look forward to it. Sounds great.
00:30:31All right. l'll see you in a jiff.
00:30:35-"See you in a jiff"? -l don't know why l said that.
00:30:37l've never said that expression before in my life. l just said, "See you in a jiff."
00:30:41Honey, you're all flustered. Who was that?
00:30:43lt was just this guy that l met at my open house.
00:30:45-Sydney something or other. -Sydney. l like it.
00:30:48-Oh, my God. Peter's got a boyfriend. -And l don't.
00:30:52Oh, God, why does everything have to be about you?
00:30:54Because l'm single.
00:31:11l'm meeting him right now.
00:31:13Dude, no dinner. He'II get the wrong idea.
00:31:15You don't wanna get another tongue-fucking at the vaIet stand.
00:31:17Yes, Robbie, l promise. No dinner.
00:31:19Dude, I'm pumped about this. CaII me when you get home.
00:31:22Yeah !
00:31:24Thank you, bro.
00:31:29All right, so you break it off with your ex-girlfriend. . .
00:31:31Yeah, and l met Zooey the very next day.
00:31:33Man, no laj between the vag?
00:31:36-What does that mean? -No lag time between vaginas.
00:31:40Yeah, no. l don't. . .
00:31:41l mean, l didn't plan for it to be like that, you know,
00:31:44with no laj, but it just happened.
00:31:47All right. How's the sex?
00:31:49That's a little private, wouldn't you say?
00:31:52Look, it's something we think about on a second-to-second basis,
00:31:55and yet we're not supposed to talk about it? Why?
00:31:59Well. . .
00:32:00l guess no one's ever really asked me before, but it's good. Sex is good.
00:32:05-Oh, boy. -What, "Oh, boy"?
00:32:07Well, your voice went up when you said that.
00:32:09So?
00:32:10lt means you weren't being entirely truthful.
00:32:13Look, l don't know this girl, so you can talk to me. What's the deal?
00:32:19l don't know, l guess maybe sometimes l wish that she enjoyed, you know. . .
00:32:24-Getting it in the tush? -No. No, no, no.
00:32:27-That's my bad. -Oral sex.
00:32:30She doesn't like to put it in the mouth?
00:32:34l can't believe l'm telling you this. l don't even know you. Forget it. Look.
00:32:39Zooey's awesome, and we have a great sex life.
00:32:42We really do. l can't. . . l don't even know why l said that.
00:32:44Because you're speaking honestly, all right? Relax.
00:32:50And what about you?
00:32:51-You ever been married? -No.
00:32:54For what l'm looking for, divorcées are perfect, you know?
00:32:56They don't want anything serious, and neither do l.
00:32:59Well, hey, man. You know, if it works for you.
00:33:02Believe me, Pistol, it is the best.
00:33:04-"Pistol"? -Yeah. Pistol.
00:33:07-Because you're Pete. So Pistol Pete. -Pistol Pete.
00:33:11Excuse me, you guys finishing up here soon?
00:33:14No, sorry, chief, we're actually staying for dinner.
00:33:16No, actually, l already have a dinner plan with my fiancée.
00:33:19No, dude, this place has the best fish tacos in the world.
00:33:22Literally. Ranked. You gotta have one or two.
00:33:27lt's the pico de gallo, man. Just use your hands.
00:33:30We're barbarians after all, men.
00:33:32Every once in a while, l go down to the Boardwalk
00:33:36and l just throw my own feces like a gorilla.
00:33:46You all right?
00:33:48How can you disagree with me on this? l mean, look, my. . .
00:33:51lt's bad for the whole world.
00:33:52My lease is gonna be up and l think. . .
00:33:55-Are you talking about hybrid cars? -Yes. Yes.
00:33:57l thought you were talking about hybrid animals.
00:34:00-Hybrid animals? -Yeah.
00:34:01What the fuck is a hybrid animal?
00:34:03lt took Andre the Giant a barrel of beer to get drunk, sometimes two.
00:34:06-"Hello, pretty lady." -"Anybody want a peanut?"
00:34:11Should we get a third order of fish tacos?
00:34:14Hands down, best fish taco l've ever had in my life.
00:34:17God, those tortillas were incredible.
00:34:18Yeah, they make them in-house. lt sets up the flavor for the whole dish.
00:34:22You know what? l just realized something.
00:34:23l never even asked you if you were interested in buying a house.
00:34:26No. No, why would l be?
00:34:29Well, it's just when you called me back,
00:34:31l didn't know if you wanted to talk about real estate or not.
00:34:33You just seemed like a good dude.
00:34:34l thought l'd see if you wanted to grab a beer. That's all.
00:34:38l'm glad you called.
00:34:39-You get home safe, Pistol. -You got it, Joban.
00:34:44l'm sorry, what?
00:34:47Nothing.
00:34:48-No, what'd you say? -l don't know.
00:34:52You. . . You nicknamed me Pistol, and l just called you Joban.
00:34:56lt means nothing. l don't. . . l'm drunk. l'm gonna call a cab.
00:35:02All right, man. You have my number, yeah?
00:35:04l got you stored in my iPhin.
00:35:07-All right. lf you need me, call, okay? -Man, l'm golden.
00:35:10-Yeah. All right, man. -All right, bud.
00:35:15Have a good night.
00:35:23l don't know the number for a taxi.
00:35:32-Hi, baby. -Hey.
00:35:34-Did you have a good time? -Yeah, we did. Yeah.
00:35:36Sydney's a cool guy. Got kind of drunk.
00:35:40-Really? -Yeah, l had to take a cab home.
00:35:43-Really? Did you. . . -Throw up in his face?
00:35:45-Yeah. -No.
00:35:47-Good. -So that's good.
00:35:48That's good. So is he your best man?
00:35:51lt's way too early to tell, but it's very sweet of you to ask.
00:35:55Go back to sleep. l'll be in, in a second, all right?
00:35:57l just wanna see if l got any hits on Ferrigno.
00:35:59Okay.
00:36:07-Whoomp! There he is! There he is! -Stop it. Stop it.
00:36:10-Ass, ass and titties. -Stop it. Fucking stop it.
00:36:11-Fuck, l'm ticklish, Tevin. -Okay. Uncle. Uncle.
00:36:15Hey. How was the open hizzy?
00:36:17-The what? -The open house.
00:36:19The open house. lt was great.
00:36:21-Yeah? Did you flip that bitch yet? -Yeah.
00:36:23No. l mean, l've had a few nibbles. No bites.
00:36:26Nibbles? Me no likey nibbles.
00:36:29-Peter, can l talk to you as a friend? -Sure.
00:36:32You're dealing with the house of a major Hollywood celebrity,
00:36:35Mr. Louis Ferrigno, The Hulk from television.
00:36:39Of course. l know that.
00:36:40How badly do you wanna sell this house?
00:36:42-l need to. You know, for. . . -l know you need to.
00:36:45You gotta do it the old-fashioned way.
00:36:46You gotta network. You gotta meet a lot of people.
00:36:49You gotta get them some leave-behinds.
00:36:51-l have brochures. -Brochures are totally different, okay?
00:36:54-How? -You see this picture right here?
00:36:56-Yeah. -Do you know who took it?
00:36:58-No. -M. Night Shyamalan,
00:37:00the director of The Village.
00:37:02-Okay. -What's your bus-bench ad situation?
00:37:05-l don't have any. -What about urinal cakes?
00:37:08-How about urinal cakes? -Do you use them?
00:37:10-When l pee. -That's not what l'm talking about.
00:37:13Go into any Olive Garden, P. F. Chang's Chinese Bistro,
00:37:17T.G. l. Friday's, Fuddruckers.
00:37:19What do they have in the bathroom? Urinal cakes with my face on it.
00:37:24Does it. . . l don't see how that would. . .
00:37:25l've had people come up to me on the streets and say,
00:37:27"l know you from somewhere."
00:37:29"Yeah, you do. You pissed on my face, friend."
00:37:31l don't see how having somebody piss on my face
00:37:33is gonna be able to sell Lou Ferrigno's house.
00:37:36Peter, you got the steak, but l got the sizzle, my nizzle. Right?
00:37:41Why don't we split the listing. Okay?
00:37:43Let me wet my beak on this action. We'll both be winners.
00:37:46l appreciate it, but l'd really like to try and do this myself.
00:37:49Yeah. Absolutely. l'm just putting on my friend hat here.
00:37:52-l appreciate it. All right. -Whoomp! There he is!
00:37:57-Oh, jeez. -Watch yourself, big girl.
00:38:12-Fife. -Hey, Sydney. lt's the Pistol.
00:38:17Who?
00:38:18Peter Klaven from the James' Beach thing the other night.
00:38:22Hey, yeah, what's going on, man?
00:38:24Yeah. Not much. l'm working like a dog.
00:38:29But, you know, usual. . . The yoozh stuff.
00:38:32I was just caIIing to say, hey, I had a great time the other night.
00:38:35Yeah, l had a nice time, man. Those fish tacos are the tits.
00:38:38Yeah, you know, if you ever wanna grab lunch or something, nothing major.
00:38:42Yeah. Actually, you know what? l'm gonna take my puggle
00:38:44for a little jaunt on the Venice Boardwalk.
00:38:46-You shouId come meet me. -All right. Yeah, great.
00:38:49Cool. Why don't you meet me at Muscle Beach at like,
00:38:52-l don't know, in a half an hour? -Muscle Beach, half an hour.
00:38:54l will see you there, or l will see you on another time.
00:38:58That was very confusing. I don't know if you're gonna come or not.
00:39:01-No, l'll be there. l'll be there. -AII right, I'II see you then, buddy.
00:39:04All right. Laters on the menjay.
00:39:12What did l just say?
00:39:14He's a cross between a beagle and a pug.
00:39:16-The most beautiful dog in the world. -He's cute. What's his name?
00:39:19Anwar Sadat,
00:39:21after Anwar Sadat, former president of Egypt.
00:39:24Right. Because you're a fan of his policies or. . .
00:39:27No, because they look exactly alike.
00:39:33Hey, so how's Ferrigno coming? You got any offers yet?
00:39:36Not yet, no.
00:39:38This guy that l work with, Tevin Downey, he wants to share the listing with me.
00:39:43What? And split the commission?
00:39:44What about the land you told me you wanted to buy?
00:39:46lt would put a delay on that, but l gotta sell the place, you know?
00:39:50Tevin's a total cheeseball, but he markets himself like crazy.
00:39:53He's on bus-bench ads all over town.
00:39:56You know, he says the place is out of my league.
00:39:58Hey, that is bullshit. All right?
00:40:00That open house was understated. lt was classy and elegant.
00:40:03l've been to a million of those things and nobody,
00:40:06nobody puts out rosemary flatbread paninis.
00:40:08Now hold on, my dog needs to shit.
00:40:11Well, l'm trying to sell the place, believe me, but. . .
00:40:13Hey, no, Pete. Trying is having the intention to fail.
00:40:17You gotta scrap that word from your vocab.
00:40:19Say you're gonna do it and you will.
00:40:22Come on, buddy. Good boy.
00:40:26-You need a plastic bag or. . . -No, l don't clean up after my dog.
00:40:29Dog poop is like a compost.
00:40:31lt's got a ton of nutrients that enrich the soil.
00:40:33But we're on pavement.
00:40:34God damn it! How about cleaning up after your dog?
00:40:38You mind your own fuckhole!
00:40:43What the fuck? Psycho.
00:40:50What was that?
00:40:51l'm a man, Peter.
00:40:53l've got an ocean of testosterone flowing through my veins.
00:40:55Society tells us to act civilized, but the truth is we're animals,
00:40:58and sometimes you gotta let it out. Try it.
00:41:02l'm not gonna start screaming in the middle of the Venice Boardwalk.
00:41:06Come with me.
00:41:11-This is silly. -lndulge me.
00:41:16That was really good.
00:41:17Now gently remove your tampon and try again.
00:41:25Respect the process.
00:41:26Why do you wanna mock the process?
00:41:28-Because it doesn't do anything. -No.
00:41:29lf you don't yell, l'm gonna punch you in your stomach.
00:41:37That was really good, man. That was terrifying.
00:41:41You just scared my dog.
00:41:53-Yeah? You feel better? -Yeah.
00:41:54-Want to get a corn dog? -Yeah !
00:41:55Let's go.
00:42:02. . .the span of this, like, l don't know, 30 pages. lt's insane. lt's crazy.
00:42:07l know. l read it in college, and l loved it.
00:42:11What a great house.
00:42:12Thanks, man. Yeah, come check out the back.
00:42:14Yeah.
00:42:17-This is a bumper car l got on eBay. -Wow.
00:42:19l was in a bidding war with CarnivalKid 32,
00:42:22so l had to go on the "Buy lt Now" price, but l got it.
00:42:25-Coolness. -And you remember Marlena.
00:42:27Hey, Lenish.
00:42:28Now let's check out the piéce de résistance, bitch.
00:42:29l wanna do it. Separate garage.
00:42:32-Mr. Klaven. -Very nice.
00:42:35Welcome to the Temple of Doom.
00:42:38Holy shit, Sydney. This place is insane.
00:42:40Holy fuck. Oh, my God.
00:42:43-Thanks, man. l try. -This is amazing.
00:42:46-Thank you, sir. -You got some TVs.
00:42:48l do. l do.
00:42:50Photographs.
00:42:53-Beer? -l'll snake a brew.
00:42:55-Put on some tunes. -ls that you?
00:42:58Yeah. Yeah, that's me in ninth grade, man.
00:43:01-Are you that little kid? -Yeah, l was a late bloomer.
00:43:03"Wrecking Crew."
00:43:05-Come and take a load off, bud. -Oh, man.
00:43:08Pop a squizz nut.
00:43:14What's going on over there?
00:43:17This is where l jerk off.
00:43:20And the condoms?
00:43:24-l wear them when l masturbate. -Are you kidding me?
00:43:28l always get this reaction,
00:43:29but the fact is they decrease sensitivity so l can last longer.
00:43:33And there's no sticky mess to clean up.
00:43:38And when your divorcées come over, you put them away?
00:43:43Pete, this is the man cave. There's no women allowed in here.
00:43:46l got a jerk-off station, for God's sakes.
00:43:49Sit down, man.
00:43:52What about when your guy friends come over? Aren't you embarrassed?
00:43:54Masturbation is a part of life, Pete. Dudes masturbate. So do chicks.
00:43:59You never talked about masturbating with your friends?
00:44:02-No, l haven't. -All right.
00:44:04When was the last time you did it, Pete?
00:44:06l'm not gonna tell you that.
00:44:07Hey. Listen, you think of this place as a Cone of Silence, all right?
00:44:10l'm not gonna tell anybody any of the things you say in here.
00:44:13You have my word.
00:44:18Zooey went to the Pasadena flea market with her friends last weekend,
00:44:23and l did it then.
00:44:25Well, that sounds lovely.
00:44:27What'd you use? lnternet or DVD?
00:44:29How do you get me to tell you these things?
00:44:32Come on.
00:44:34l used a picture of Zooey in a bikini
00:44:37that l took when we were on vacation in Cabo San Lucas.
00:44:39Wait, you jacked off to a picture of your own girlfriend?
00:44:42You. . . That. . . Wow. That is sick.
00:44:45Oh, my God ! What is wrong with you?
00:44:47What's wrong with that?
00:44:49Pedro, there is so much wrong with that, l don't even know where to begin. lt's. . .
00:44:55-That is sick, man. -Someone's ears were burning.
00:44:58Heard you say you jacked off to her picture, sicko.
00:45:01Hey, babe.
00:45:04Good. Yeah, l'm over here at Sydney's. We're just chillaxing.
00:45:07We're in the chill station.
00:45:09Yeah, l'm kind of playing hooky from work.
00:45:13No, l'll see you at home later on.
00:45:15Love you, too. Bye-bye.
00:45:20Hey, why'd you tell her you bailed from work?
00:45:22l didn't wanna lie to her.
00:45:24You're one of the most honest people l've ever met. You can understand that.
00:45:27Yeah, l never lie to women,
00:45:28but, l mean, there are some things l choose not to share with them.
00:45:32-l don't really see the distinction. -Really?
00:45:35So you've told Zooey that you jacked off to her picture last weekend.
00:45:38Well, no, but. . .
00:45:39All right. Well, you shared that information with me, didn't you?
00:45:42So there are dividing lines. That's all l'm trying to say.
00:45:45Like, l love to take a girl out to dinner,
00:45:47but l'm not gonna go golf 1 8 holes with her.
00:45:49You know what? Zooey and l played golf together a couple of months ago.
00:45:52-lt was really fun. -That sounds like a fucking nightmare.
00:45:58What do you play?
00:46:00l play a little bit of everything, but if l had to narrow it down to one,
00:46:04l guess l'd say l'm an axman.
00:46:06-Sweet. Guitar. -What about you? You play anything?
00:46:09l used to slap the bass in a high school jazz band.
00:46:15-All right. -Rush. l love Rush.
00:46:17Dude, Rush is the greatest band of all time.
00:46:20Yeah, no, how about of all time? All time.
00:46:25You know what? We should jam together sometime, man.
00:46:29Yeah. Totally.
00:46:31Totes McGotes. Cool.
00:46:41Well, you know what? l should probably hit it to it.
00:46:44All right, yeah. l gotta get to bed early, anyway.
00:46:46l'm doing a big day hike with my buddies in Malibu tomorrow.
00:46:49Yeah. Hey, thanks a lot. lt was a really. . . lt was a good hang.
00:46:51-Yeah. -Sweet, sweet hanging.
00:46:56-Well, adiós, Pistol. -Take it easy, Siddy Slicker.
00:47:01-l'm sorry. -What?
00:47:04l called you Siddy Slicker.
00:47:07-That sucks. -No, it was pretty close.
00:47:08lt's a lame nickname.
00:47:11l thought it was good. lt was better than Joban.
00:47:13Yeah, right. l'm gonna get it. l'll get a better one.
00:47:16-Dude, it was fine. -l'm gonna get you.
00:47:18-Get out of here. Get out of here. -l'm gonna get you, sucka.
00:47:21Later on, my. . .
00:47:28Peter, I have a Lou Ferrigno for you on Iine three.
00:47:37Put him through.
00:47:41Mr. Ferrigno. Hey, it's Peter Klaven.
00:47:44Peter, what the heII's going on?
00:47:46Yeah. lf you just go past the first area to the left, he's right there.
00:47:48-Sure. What's your name? -Leanne.
00:47:52Leanne. That was my mother's name.
00:47:54-Really? -l don't know. Was it?
00:47:58Peter, it's been on the market for three weeks...
00:48:00-Yes. -...and we haven't gotten one offer.
00:48:02And that's why we're having another open house this weekend.
00:48:05Hello, mystery woman.
00:48:08l think it was very beneficial, very beneficial.
00:48:10BeneficiaI? It was beneficiaI?
00:48:12So you're teIIing me we're gonna seII this house?
00:48:14Absolutely, and l've gotten many nibbles this week.
00:48:17-NibbIes? -Yes, sir.
00:48:18It's aII about food with you, Peter.
00:48:20No one cares about the stupid sandwiches you put out.
00:48:22No, sir. No, l absolutely agree with you.
00:48:25You want to sell a house and not a panini.
00:48:28-Paninis? Paninis? -Yes, sir.
00:48:30Don't make him angry.
00:48:31Enough with the coId cuts, the condiments.
00:48:33-You wouldn't like him when he's angry. -What the heII you think this is?
00:48:36No, l understand. lt's an open house and not a deli.
00:48:39-Peter? HeIIo? You need to focus. -Yeah. Yep. l think. . .
00:48:43-l think. . . -Let peopIe know my house is for saIe.
00:48:45Forget about the sandwiches and focus on seIIing my fucking house.
00:48:48-Let's do this, okay? -Yes, sir.
00:48:50-Okay? -Okay.
00:48:51-Goodbye. -All right, thank you. Bye-bye.
00:48:56You all right?
00:48:57-Hulk busting your balls? -Yeah.
00:48:59-What are you doing here? -My blood bank's a few blocks away.
00:49:02l'm AB negative. lt's extremely rare, so l try to donate every couple of weeks.
00:49:07That's really nice, Sydney.
00:49:08There's also this nurse there who l wanna fuck so badly.
00:49:11Oh, boy, here we go. Should have guessed.
00:49:16Hey, weren't you supposed to go hiking with your friends today?
00:49:18Yeah, a couple of them had to bail, but we'll reschedule.
00:49:21Anyway, listen, l got a house full of leftover Koo Koo Roo,
00:49:23so l was thinking maybe you and me could go grab some lunch
00:49:25and squeeze in a little jam session?
00:49:28Leftover Koo Koo Roo?
00:49:29Well, that sounds about as appetizing as
00:49:32a big pile of. . . A plate of dirt, or something.
00:49:37l'm. . . l was. . . l'm kidding.
00:49:38Yeah. l still want to hang out despite that joke.
00:49:42-That was a bad joke. -Yeah. You're better than that.
00:49:58That's it.
00:50:00-How's that feel? -lt feels tasty.
00:50:03-Yeah? You sound pretty good, buddy. -Thanks, man.
00:50:06Here we go.
00:50:24Wow, that's a good one, bud.
00:50:27Hey, check out these two.
00:50:29l call them bowsers. lt's my nickname for people who look just like their dog.
00:50:33Good boy.
00:50:35Bowsers? Where'd you come up with that?
00:50:37lt sounded right.
00:50:38Shit. Hey, geek! l just stepped in your dog's shit.
00:50:43Now l'm gonna make you eat it.
00:50:46Peter, run !
00:50:47-Yeah ! -Take it.
00:50:56lt's a bit of a throwback, but it comes with the built-ins. lt's wired for sound.
00:50:59This is fun. This is a pair of jeans that he actually. . .
00:51:01This house is exquisite.
00:51:04l'd like to make an offer.
00:51:09What do you think, hon?
00:51:21Yeah, l don't like that, but for the most part, l mean. . .
00:51:25-Take it. -Really?
00:51:26Yeah, take it.
00:51:29Sydney, what's up, man?
00:51:32What happened? What?
00:51:35Shut up! No.
00:51:37Did it smell weird? ls it discolored?
00:51:51Shut the fuck up!
00:51:52So how long have you guys known Sydney?
00:51:55-lt feels like forever. -What?
00:51:56Remember that time we tripped acid together
00:51:59-and he made us watch the news? -That was a remarkable night.
00:52:02-Dude. Dude. Don't. Dude. -Don't be scared.
00:52:04-Stop it. Stop it. Drive! Drive! -Don't lean ! Don't lean !
00:52:10Yeah, Pistol.
00:52:12Dude, Peter is on fire.
00:52:18-Boo-yah ! Yeah ! -Fuck me raw!
00:52:21That's what l'm talking about.
00:52:23-Sweet lunge, Peter. -Yeah, Pete.
00:52:25Suck it, Gil !
00:52:31l love it!
00:52:33Marvin Berry.
00:52:35"You remember that new sound you were looking for?"
00:52:48Pete!
00:52:51-Are you all right? -My fucking ass.
00:52:53-Hey, you did great today though, man. -You did. You made it up.
00:52:55-l made it to the top. First time. -Good job, bro.
00:52:58-Hey, nice meeting you. -Yeah, nice meeting you guys.
00:53:00-All righty, Syd. -Wait, where you going?
00:53:02lt's Sunday night. Tina's nephews are coming over.
00:53:05We're gonna watch Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium.
00:53:07No, it's just, l thought we were all gonna have dinner together,
00:53:09so l ordered us a 6-foot sub.
00:53:11But l gotta bolt, too. l promised the kids l'd take them to Cheeseria.
00:53:13A little pizza action.
00:53:15Yeah, well, l'm just gonna be stuck at home grading papers tonight,
00:53:17but thanks anyway. All right?
00:53:19Fun day, guys.
00:53:22-Pete? -Man, you know, on Sunday night,
00:53:25Zooey and l usually watch HBO.
00:53:27Right. Yeah, yeah, of course. Cool.
00:53:29But l can't let you eat a 6-foot sub all by yourself.
00:53:33-Do you want some? -No,
00:53:34l had like a foot and a half back at Sydney's. l'm golden.
00:53:36So, what do you guys do for, like, seven straight hours?
00:53:40Whatever. l mean, like, we'll just hang out, you know. Shoot the shit.
00:53:43Sometimes we jam a little bit.
00:53:45-You play an instrument? -Yeah.
00:53:47l can't believe l've never told you. l play bass.
00:53:49-Really? -Yeah. l slap the bass big time.
00:53:52What do you. . . What is that? You sound like a leprechaun.
00:53:56-No, that's a reggae guy. -What is that?
00:53:57-l just did reggae. -lt doesn't sound. . .
00:53:59-lt doesn't sound reggae? -No.
00:54:01-Slap the bass. -No.
00:54:04-How does it. . . -lt's like, big time, big time.
00:54:07-Big time. -Big time. Slap the bass big time.
00:54:10Slap the bass.
00:54:12-That sounded like Borat. -Yeah.
00:54:14-Slap the bass. Big time. -That's better. That's better.
00:54:17Syd and l have gotten pretty good at a couple of Rush songs.
00:54:19What do you mean, like, fast-paced rock?
00:54:21No, like, Rush. Like the band Rush.
00:54:24-l don't know them. The. . . -The holy triumvirate.
00:54:27-Wait, you don't know Rush? -No.
00:54:29-You don't know Rush, the band? -No.
00:54:31-"Exit the warrior, today's Tom Sawyer"? -No!
00:54:35All right, l'm gonna hit you up with a little iTunes acción.
00:54:39l cannot believe you've never heard Rush.
00:54:41So when am l gonna meet this guy who's stolen you away from me?
00:54:44Pretty soon, actually.
00:54:45l invited him to that little engagement party
00:54:47my parents are throwing for us.
00:54:48Wow, Peter! This is serious.
00:54:51lt's mellow. Besides, l wanted to introduce him to Hailey.
00:54:54-That's interesting. Yeah, l like that. -Right?
00:54:56Hey, let me ask you something. Are you ready to get your world rocked?
00:54:59Ready! Yes.
00:55:02-Are you ready to get your mind blown? -Do it!
00:55:05Do you want to get some Neil Peart all up in you?
00:55:07l don't know.
00:55:09Well, prepare to be Rushified !
00:55:20-Sounds better on big speakers. -l could see that.
00:55:28-Good, right? -Yeah.
00:55:32-Do you do it that high when you do it? -Well, in real life, l do it low.
00:55:36-But air bass works best up here. -Right.
00:55:41This is exactly what l look like when l jam out, man.
00:55:44When l jam with my bass.
00:55:48Slap the bass, man.
00:55:50-There you go. There you go. -l'm slapping the bass, man.
00:55:52Slap the bass, man. l slap the bass.
00:55:56Please don't do that.
00:55:57-Slap the bass. -Please?
00:56:00Slap the bass.
00:56:01-For the sake of our relationship. -Slap that bass.
00:56:03Please stop. Please. Please stop! Thank you.
00:56:07l'm slapping the bass.
00:56:15l'm so glad you're celebrating at my restaurant.
00:56:18Of course, Mr. Chu. We wouldn't go anywhere else.
00:56:20Hey, this is my brother, Robbie. Robbie, this is Sydney.
00:56:23-Hey, Bro Namath. -Nice. Nice to meet you.
00:56:25-Peter, you remember Alan. -From the gym.
00:56:30-Yeah, hey, man. -Hi, good to see you again.
00:56:33-Alan, l'm Sydney. -Sydney, nice to meet you.
00:56:35lt's a pleasure, man.
00:56:36All right. We're gonna grab some drinks.
00:56:38-Cool, sweet. -All right. Show them your stuff, fellas.
00:56:41-Hi. -Hey.
00:56:44Zooey, this is Sydney. Sydney, this is my fiancée, Zooey.
00:56:48Sydney, l'm so happy to meet you. l've heard so many great things.
00:56:51Same here. And let me tell you,
00:56:53this guy, he's gaga over you. lt's adorable.
00:56:56-Honestly. -lt's true. lt's true.
00:56:57-lt's true. -Guilty as charged.
00:56:59Hailey. Hailey.
00:57:02Sydney, this is my oldest friend in the world, Hailey.
00:57:05-All right. -Hi. l'm good.
00:57:09You didn't ask, but l'm good.
00:57:11-Nice to meet you, Sydney. -lt's a pleasure.
00:57:13Great. l told you we were early.
00:57:16-Would you shut up? -lt's supposed to be. . .
00:57:17The minute we get in you have to start bitching already?
00:57:19-You told me it was a drop-by. -You know what?
00:57:20-This isn't a drop-by. -This is not a drop-by.
00:57:22lt's a damn engagement party. What is wrong with you?
00:57:24Can l have a Belvedere on the rocks,
00:57:25-please? -You're such an asshole.
00:57:26Could you just shut up and not talk to people tonight?
00:57:27And something with sour mix in it for her.
00:57:28l'm sorry they didn't cater this to you and your liking.
00:57:30-Hey, guys. -No. . .
00:57:31-Hi, you look beautiful ! -Hey.
00:57:33-Hello, sweetie. How you doing, baby? -Hi.
00:57:35-Thanks for coming. -Hi.
00:57:37-You guys know each other. -How you doing? Yeah, we do.
00:57:38-Yeah. -Yeah. So. . .
00:57:41-What do you got there? -Sex on the beach. Yeah.
00:57:45You never know! Gotta be prepared.
00:57:48-The possibility. -Wow.
00:57:49l'm just saying, you know.
00:57:52-What is going on over there? -Yeah, let me tell you.
00:57:54-ls that her date? -l'll give you the whole lowdown.
00:57:56Should we. . .
00:58:01What's up?
00:58:02Hey, l don't remember. Do you play an instrument?
00:58:05-No. -Because Syd and l, my buddy Sydney,
00:58:08-we've been jamming a lot. . . -l don't play any instruments.
00:58:12l slap some bass, and then Sydney's an axman.
00:58:16'Cause l was gonna say if you wanted to jam with us,
00:58:19you know, that'd be cool. But you don't have. . .
00:58:21You have a piano in your house, though, don't you?
00:58:24-Yeah, l don't play. -Really? Why do you have a piano?
00:58:27The decorator put it there.
00:58:30Your. . . Does he. . . l thought. . . No one plays?
00:58:33-l'm gonna go check on the table. -All right. Yep.
00:58:36-Hi. l'm Denise. -Hi.
00:58:37-Denise. -l'm Zooey's friend.
00:58:39l've heard so much about you.
00:58:40-lt smells like a fucking pet shop in here. -Hi. How are you? Okay.
00:58:42-Mrs. Klaven, the banquet room is ready. -And who's Mr. Sunshine here?
00:58:45Hi. This is my husband, Barry.
00:58:48Come on back, everybody. The banquet room is ready.
00:58:50Well, l'm filling myself up. l need to undo my pants.
00:58:55There's a lot of protein, but l love it.
00:58:59lf l may, l think it's only fitting that we're eating tonight at Hop Louie's
00:59:05because this is, after all, Peter's favorite restaurant to bring all of his dates.
00:59:10So of course he would bring Zooey here their first night out.
00:59:13-Just like the rest of them. -No.
00:59:18l remember that night when Peter got home, he called me and he said,
00:59:20"Mom, this is the girl l'm gonna marry."
00:59:26And it's not just because she wanted an extra order of slippery shrimp.
00:59:30On the first date?
00:59:31-Hey, now. -Sometimes.
00:59:35But the point is, here we are eight months later.
00:59:38Peter, Zooey,
00:59:42we love you,
00:59:44and we wish only the best for you both.
00:59:50-Cheers. -Cheers.
00:59:51-To Peter and Zooey. -Cheers.
00:59:53-Cheers. -Thanks, Mom.
00:59:55-Cheers, bro. -Thanks.
00:59:57Well, l promised Denise we'd be gone after appetizers, so. . .
00:59:59You know what? l'd actually like to just say a few words
01:00:02-if it's cool with the table. -Wow.
01:00:07What an honor it is to be sitting here with Peter and Zooey's friends, family,
01:00:12Hailey, Robbie's lover, Robbie, Oz, Joyce.
01:00:17Thank you for hosting this beautiful dinner.
01:00:21You got this guy with the smoking hot wife.
01:00:24And finally, we got Zooey.
01:00:28Zooey, you are about to marry one of the most honest,
01:00:32kind and fun-loving people l've ever had the honor of knowing.
01:00:37The Pistol is a pleasure-giver, that's for sure.
01:00:39Yeah. A fucking puke pistol.
01:00:42And the thing about a man like that, a man like Peter,
01:00:45is that he never asks for anything in return,
01:00:48and that's why l'm here.
01:00:51l'm here as Peter's friend, as Peter's confidant,
01:00:56just to say to you, beautiful Zooey,
01:01:01give it back. Yeah?
01:01:09Return the favor.
01:01:14And if you do,
01:01:15l guarantee that you will have a beautiful and pleasure-filled union.
01:01:20-l don't think she sucks his dick. -Watch your mouth.
01:01:23With that, l'd like to raise a glass to Pete and Zooey.
01:01:28Cheers.
01:01:31-Peter and Zooey. -Cheers.
01:01:38What the hell did you tell Sydney about me?
01:01:40Nothing.
01:01:42l mean, aside from how much l love you.
01:01:44So, what was with all that pleasure-giver stuff?
01:01:49l don't. . .
01:01:52l might have mentioned in passing or something
01:01:54that you don't like doing oral sex.
01:02:00-Peter, that stuff is private. -ls it? Really?
01:02:03And telling Hailey and Denise about the hot tub in Mexico isn't?
01:02:06-That is so different. They're. . . -What? How?
01:02:08-l've known them forever. -So?
01:02:10Peter, see, Sydney's like a stranger.
01:02:12Hardly. He's become a really good friend of mine,
01:02:14and now you know how l feel when there's no privacy
01:02:16-between you and your girlfriends. -l thought you loved those guys.
01:02:19l do, l love them, but, you know,
01:02:21some things l want to remain between you and me.
01:02:26Okay. Okay.
01:02:34By the way, it's not that l don't like doing it.
01:02:38lt's just that Rodney just hated getting them.
01:02:43Wait, what guy hates getting blowjobs?
01:02:45He had some weird intimacy problems, okay?
01:02:49By the end of our relationship, he would literally shiver when l touched him.
01:02:52But before that, l always liked it.
01:02:57l liked it.
01:03:01Great. That's great.
01:03:05Perfect. l mean, no pressure. lt's not like l'm saying,
01:03:07"Hey, let's go home tonight and get some BJs." But, you know. . .
01:03:11Look, if Sydney hadn't asked me about our sex life,
01:03:13we wouldn't even be talking about this.
01:03:16-That's true. -Yeah.
01:03:18You're right.
01:03:20-And Hailey was really into him. -She was?
01:03:22Yeah, she liked how honest and direct he was with her.
01:03:25And, yeah, l know, that's the way he is. That's his thing.
01:03:29-The four of us should go out. -Yeah. That'd be great.
01:03:32Yeah.
01:03:37Sweet.
01:03:39-Well, have a good Pilates class. -l will.
01:03:41-Be sure to drink lots of water. -Yeah.
01:03:45-Hey. -Hey.
01:03:48-Hey, Pete, let's go out back, yeah? -Yeah.
01:03:55-She was very nice-looking. -Yeah, l fucked her.
01:03:59l wonder if my pineapple matches your pineapple.
01:04:02Hey, you want to check?
01:04:05Nope. Yours is short and fat and mine is long and skinny.
01:04:09Yeah.
01:04:12Pete, can l talk to you about something?
01:04:14-Yeah, what's up? -Will you put down your treat
01:04:15for a minute?
01:04:20l feel really horrible about that toast l gave at your engagement dinner.
01:04:24lt was ridonculous.
01:04:26l was really excited to meet Zooey and your family,
01:04:28and then l showed up there and l was just. . . l got so nervous.
01:04:31lt wasn't so great.
01:04:34l want you to know l'm really sorry. Everybody must hate me.
01:04:37No, no, no. Look, you had good intentions.
01:04:40-l did. -l know one person that didn't hate you.
01:04:42Was it Benji's wife? She's a hot piece of ass.
01:04:46-No, Hailey. -Yeah. She was funny.
01:04:49l think she likes you. We should all go out.
01:04:51She seems great, Pete, but honestly, within five minutes of meeting her,
01:04:54she was telling me how she can't wait to get married and have kids.
01:04:58Look, she was kidding around.
01:04:59l made reservations to play golf on Sunday for the four of us.
01:05:02No, Pete, l told you, l don't play sports with women.
01:05:05Look, man, you told my fiancée that she needs to give me blowies
01:05:08in front of my whole family, all right? You owe me.
01:05:12-You make a valid point. -lt's golf. lt's fun !
01:05:19l never have a beer until the ninth hole.
01:05:21Maybe we can change that rule.
01:05:23-Okay. All right. -Keep your head down and fluid.
01:05:27-Okay. Okay. -Great, come on. You got it.
01:05:35-Oh, my God ! -Whoa!
01:05:38-Zooey, that was a great shot. -Great shot.
01:05:40Really, really good. l'm really impressed.
01:05:43l'm sorry! l'm sorry. l'm sorry.
01:05:46-Fuck! -Sorry. Sorry. l'm sorry, Sydney. Sorry.
01:05:50Motherfucker! Fucking cock in my fucking shit! God !
01:05:57-Mary. -You okay, man?
01:05:58-l'm sorry. -This is my nightmare!
01:06:03-Whack it up. -Whack it, Hails.
01:06:06-Beautiful day. -Yeah, it is. lt's really nice.
01:06:09lt's kind of frustrating.
01:06:12Yeah. My shin hurts.
01:06:14l didn't realize my skin could bruise that quickly.
01:06:16-You're good. -Guys, you're killing us here. Seriously.
01:06:18-Let's get the ladies moving. -Listen, just give me a second.
01:06:20Rate of play, rate of play, rate of play, rate of play, rate of play.
01:06:24Hailey, you know what, why don't we just pick it up and move down the fairway?
01:06:28-No, this is fine. -Because she won't have a chance
01:06:29-to practice, right, Peter? -l got it.
01:06:31He's kind of got a point. l mean, we're really holding these guys up.
01:06:34You're being an asshole. Hailey, just take your time, okay?
01:06:36He's really not being an asshole. There's a protocol.
01:06:38The marshals come by, and there is some time pressure.
01:06:40-You know, l'm done. This sucks. -Hailey, please. . .
01:06:42-l'm out of here. -Please don't go.
01:06:44-Where are you going? -Come on, Hailey. lt's okay.
01:06:45-l apologize. l'm sorry. -l mean, we'll. . . Come on, Hailey.
01:06:47-Please come back. -Where are you going?
01:06:52-Did you say something? -No.
01:06:58Thank you.
01:07:07-Hey, man. -Dude Von Dudenstein,
01:07:09-what are you doing tonight? -I just Ieft you haIf an hour ago.
01:07:12l'm watching HBO with Zooey.
01:07:13I know, but I just got an e-maiI aIert from the Rush fan cIub.
01:07:16The Holy Trinity is playing a small club gig tonight at the Avalon.
01:07:21Dude, it's Sunday night. l can't bail on her again.
01:07:23Dude, you have your whole life
01:07:24to sit around and watch premium cable with Zooey.
01:07:27Whatever, it's our ritual. lt's HBO.
01:07:29lt's not TV, it's HBO.
01:07:30Have you ever watched Sunday night programming on HBO? lt's spectacular.
01:07:33lt's fucking Rush.
01:07:37l haven't seen them since the Signals tour.
01:07:41Can l invite Zooey?
01:08:16-Slapping the bass! -Slapping the bass!
01:09:00What the fuck?
01:09:02Yeah !
01:09:20My God. We could practice every day for six months, and l'm planning on it,
01:09:24and we'll still suck. Yeah. l'll give you a call.
01:09:28All right. Take it easy, Magooch.
01:09:34-Were you spying on me? -Yeah, l was.
01:09:37Because l'm totally weirded out about what's going on between you two.
01:09:42What are you talking about? We were just going over the set list.
01:09:45-l mean, what's the big deal? -The big deal is
01:09:47that we were supposed to have a date night,
01:09:49and you took me to this concert, which is cool,
01:09:52but then we get there and it's like l don't even exist.
01:09:54You don't even look at me. You're licking Sydney's bass guitar.
01:09:59There were tons of guys that were licking each other's basses.
01:10:02l just. . . l feel like l'm losing you a little bit.
01:10:06What? We were just doing a recap of the set list.
01:10:09-What? Zooey. -Okay.
01:10:11l was going over the set list.
01:10:15So the big day's coming up. How are you feeling?
01:10:17Well, you know, l was feeling really good,
01:10:19but Zooey and l have been fighting a lot recently.
01:10:22All right, let me ask you a question. Why are you marrying her?
01:10:25What kind of question is that?
01:10:27Well, it seems to me like you've gone from relationship to relationship,
01:10:30so is Zooey the one or is she just the next one?
01:10:34No, she's the one.
01:10:36All right, well, how come?
01:10:37Because.
01:10:40l don't know. We're in love.
01:10:43And. . .
01:10:46That's a hard question to answer.
01:10:49Listen, l'm not trying to push you at all. lt's just for me,
01:10:53sometimes talking this stuff out helps to clarify things. That's all.
01:10:56Let's go try on some penguin suits.
01:11:01Thank you, lovely. What's your name?
01:11:03-Raquel. -That was my mother's name.
01:11:06So l'm thinking about asking Tevin if he wants in on the Ferrigno house.
01:11:10Dude, l pissed on that guy's face at a Bennigan's.
01:11:13You do not need to be splitting commission
01:11:15with that frosty-haired chode.
01:11:20l have to face facts, Syd. l'm a flats guy, you know?
01:11:23Tevin's got the flash needed to sell the place.
01:11:26What do you think?
01:11:28You look fucking stiff.
01:11:29We're shopping for tuxedos for your wedding, man.
01:11:32Let's have a good time. Loosen it up a little bit.
01:11:34l wanna take a photo. Now, give me an action pose.
01:11:37Like what? What do you mean?
01:11:39Well, you're wearing a tuxedo. What do you think l mean?
01:11:44When have you ever seen anyone in a tuxedo do that move?
01:11:48Besides Runaway Bride.
01:11:49The ESPYs.
01:11:50You're wearing a tuxedo. Think James Bond, all right?
01:11:53Give me some James Bond.
01:11:58No. lt just looks like you're pointing at me.
01:12:05-You look ridiculous, man. -What am l. . . How can l. . . l can't. . .
01:12:08-Think Timothy Dalton. -T-Dalt.
01:12:12Hey, that's pretty good.
01:12:14Tell you what. Give me your best Bond impression.
01:12:16Why don't you get off your board
01:12:18and get on. . . "Get out of my dreams and into my car."
01:12:22You looking for your pot of gold?
01:12:24Why does everything l do sound like a leprechaun?
01:12:26You tell me. He speaks like the coolest man on earth.
01:12:29-The name is Bond. Oh, yeah. -There you go.
01:12:32The name is James Bond.
01:12:36James Bond.
01:12:38l'll have a margarita.
01:12:41Well, hey there, Miss Moneypussy. Wanna jump on my jetpack?
01:12:46All right, enough of that. Let's just take the picture, all right?
01:12:49Arch an eyebrow for me. Other eyebrow.
01:12:54No, you just look confused.
01:12:56Arch your eyebrow up. No, not both, just one.
01:13:00l don't know how. . .
01:13:02All right, maybe l was wrong. Let's see the back.
01:13:08You know what? l'm not sure l'm in love with the drape.
01:13:09What's wrong with the drape? Does the vent move funny?
01:13:12You should wear something with a little more pizzazz, right?
01:13:14-A little more flash. -You don't like the split panel?
01:13:15-Peacock it out a bit. -No.
01:13:17-Let's try. . . -What are those? Checkers?
01:13:19-Here. Give this one a try. -Give me a break.
01:13:21-No way, man. -Come on.
01:13:22l can't fricking pull that off. lt's blue.
01:13:24Look at me.
01:13:25You have this image of yourself as this straight-laced, tight guy,
01:13:30but l've seen you cut loose in the man cave, and it is fantastic.
01:13:33Well, yeah. Slap a little bass.
01:13:35Yeah, it's the same with the Ferrigno house.
01:13:38You have all of the skills in the world, and you have no confidence.
01:13:41Now, sack up, man.
01:13:44Put on the fucking suit.
01:13:49l can't believe you just touched my balls.
01:13:55Hey, so listen, l also wanted to talk to you about something.
01:13:57This investment opportunity has come up. lt's a total winner.
01:14:02The only problem is all my funds are tied up in equities,
01:14:04so l'm cash poor right now.
01:14:08So l was wondering if you would consider loaning me a few shekels?
01:14:15How much are we talking about?
01:14:18You know, 8.
01:14:23$8,000. That's. . . That's a lot of. . .
01:14:28That's a lot of quiche, you know? A lot of cake.
01:14:33lt just. . . lt might be a little tricky,
01:14:35just 'cause Zooey's dad is out of the picture,
01:14:37and, you know, we're paying for the wedding ourselves.
01:14:40You know what? Enough said.
01:14:42An opportunity came up. l thought l would ask. No big deal.
01:14:46Can you tell me about the investment?
01:14:48l can't, actually. lt's confidential in nature, so. . .
01:14:52Okay. Let me think about it.
01:14:54Yeah, of course, buddy.
01:14:56Hello, Peter.
01:14:58Doug !
01:15:02-This is my. . . -Sydney.
01:15:04Sydney. This is Sydney.
01:15:09You know, it takes a lot of nerve
01:15:10to spend a beautiful evening with someone
01:15:12and then never call them again.
01:15:15Doug, l can explain.
01:15:17l just wish l could take back that kiss,
01:15:19because l felt something that l haven't felt in years,
01:15:22and now l know it was the taste of betrayal.
01:15:25lt wasn't the taste of betrayal.
01:15:27-lt was the taste of betrayal. -No, it really wasn't.
01:15:28lt was the taste of betrayal, you fucking whore.
01:15:33-Doug. -Good day.
01:15:35Doug, wait.
01:15:37-l can actually explain what just. . . -l would love to hear that.
01:15:41Wow. l mean, l knew when l got the nod for the engagement dinner
01:15:45you didn't have a ton of friends, but l had no idea it went that far.
01:15:48Truth is, l never even thought about it until Zooey and l got engaged.
01:15:52lt's like, you were basically just using me
01:15:54because you needed to fill out your wedding party.
01:15:56Dude, no. Not it at all.
01:15:59l'd actually given up on meeting someone,
01:16:02and then you wandered into that open house, we hit it off,
01:16:07and three-quarters of the Rush songbook later, here we are.
01:16:10-l just wish you'd have told me. -Well, l was embarrassed.
01:16:13l mean, you've had a close group of male friends your whole life. l haven't.
01:16:16l started feeling like some kind of weirdo.
01:16:20l get it. But l just want you to know that you're my friend,
01:16:25and you can tell me anything.
01:16:27Thanks, Sydney. l appreciate that.
01:16:32Hey, man, look, about that investment. . .
01:16:34Pete, please, forget l even brought it up, honestly.
01:16:36l've been saving my whole life,
01:16:37and you were right. l'm gonna sell the Ferrigno place.
01:16:39Fuck, yeah, you are.
01:16:42l'd be happy to lend you the money. l know you're good for it.
01:16:45Pistol, that is great. Thank you.
01:16:49lt's the least l could do for the best man at my wedding.
01:16:55What are you talking about?
01:16:57l want you to stand up there with me. Are you cool with that?
01:17:00Am l cool with that?
01:17:02Of course l'll be your best man ! That's an honor! lt's. . .
01:17:10You're a whore, Peter.
01:17:15-l think we're almost there. -l think we're almost there, too.
01:17:18l think it's just about putting the random people together.
01:17:20-Yeah. -We should talk about the main table,
01:17:22because if Hailey doesn't find a date before the wedding,
01:17:26which, let's be honest, it seems pretty likely that she won't. . .
01:17:29l know.
01:17:31. . .we have an extra seat at our table.
01:17:33Well, l was thinking that maybe Sydney would sit at our table.
01:17:36l asked him to be my best man.
01:17:39Great! That's awesome. That was the whole thing.
01:17:43l'm not an idiot. You're not psyched about this at all.
01:17:45No, it's just. . . l feel like he has some issue with me.
01:17:49What? No. You guys just haven't spent any time together.
01:17:52-We've spent some time together. -l'll talk to him.
01:17:54Peter, do not talk to him.
01:17:56He's gonna think l'm saying stuff behind his back.
01:17:58-You are saying stuff behind his back. -No. l'm just sharing a feeling with you.
01:18:02And l want you to.
01:18:03But, Peter, please don't say anything to him.
01:18:05Okay, l won't.
01:18:08So, we still have to pick up the marriage license.
01:18:11-Can you meet up tomorrow afternoon? -Totally, yeah. Perfect.
01:18:14So, what'd she say about me being your best man?
01:18:17She was pumped. She thought it was awesome.
01:18:20Come on, dude.
01:18:21l'm the worst liar. l promised her l wouldn't say anything.
01:18:25Well, what is it?
01:18:28She thinks you don't like her.
01:18:30What? That is. . . No, of course l like her. Are you. . .
01:18:34We've only hung out a few times,
01:18:35but she's gonna be your wife. Of course l like her.
01:18:38This dumb toast is gonna haunt me forever.
01:18:43Oh, man !
01:18:45Dude, why is Ferrigno eating with that urinal-cake-faced fuckhead?
01:18:49We gotta confront him. Hold this.
01:18:52No, wait. Sydney, wait, wait. Wait. Sydney!
01:18:54Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! What the fuck is going on here?
01:19:00-Do l know you? -No, you don't know me,
01:19:02but l believe you know my friend Peter Klaven,
01:19:04who has an exclusive listing on this man's property.
01:19:06Lou, you promised Peter the commission to your house.
01:19:09l know, but he's not doing shit with it.
01:19:10That is total crap, Hulk, all right?
01:19:12Listen, this kind of stuff doesn't happen overnight.
01:19:14Peter, who the hell is this guy?
01:19:16Hulk, let me tell you something about Peter. . .
01:19:18Look, please get your hand out of my face and stop calling me Hulk.
01:19:21l'm a person, okay?
01:19:22l'm a person, okay.
01:19:23-l warned you. -You warned me?
01:19:25-Hello? -Hey.
01:19:26l'm on my way to the marriage bureau.
01:19:27Fuck you, Lou Ferrigno!
01:19:29ls that Sydney?
01:19:30-Hey! -Fuck you, Hulk!
01:19:33Oh, shit.
01:19:35What the. . . What are you doing?
01:19:36-What's going on? -Sydney. He's fighting Lou Ferrigno.
01:19:39Peter! He's so strong!
01:19:41-Easy. Don't fight it. -The Hulk has me in a sleeper hold,
01:19:43-and l don't think l can take him. . . -Easy. That's it.
01:19:47Peter!
01:19:48-Wow. -Peter!
01:19:50Why the fuck would anyone get in a fight with Lou Ferrigno?
01:19:53Sydney's a hothead. He thought he was standing up for me.
01:19:55To The lncredible Hulk?
01:19:57No, that's just a character he played. ln real life, Lou's actually a sweet man.
01:20:02So, what does that mean for your development property?
01:20:06lt means it's over.
01:20:08Without the Ferrigno commission, l'm not gonna be able to afford it.
01:20:11You have some money saved up.
01:20:12Can't you just write them a check, you know, to show your good faith?
01:20:16Between the wedding, and then, you know, l lent Sydney some money.
01:20:20l mean, it's just l'm gonna be short. That's it.
01:20:23Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You lent Sydney money?
01:20:27For an investment. All his money's tied up in equities.
01:20:29-He's gonna pay me back. -Peter, that's not the point.
01:20:32We're getting married. You can't just keep stuff like this from me.
01:20:36Can l ask you a question?
01:20:39Why do you think we're getting married?
01:20:43What are you talking about?
01:20:45No, it's just. . . Sydney asked me that question, and l couldn't. . .
01:20:47"Well, why Zooey?" And l didn't know how to answer it.
01:20:50-Are you kidding? You're kidding, right? -Yes.
01:20:54Two weeks before our wedding
01:20:56and you don't know why you're marrying me?
01:20:59Just forget it. lt was a stupid question. l don't even know what l was thinking.
01:21:02Just forget. . . Take it back 1 0 seconds before l asked it,
01:21:05and let's live in that time.
01:21:07The thing is, Peter, l get why you would wonder that. l do.
01:21:11But l wish you would have answered the question before you proposed to me.
01:21:15That's the thing. Before l didn't even think about it.
01:21:18That came out bad, too. l didn't. . . l'm so. . .
01:21:20l'm confused. l don't know what l'm saying.
01:21:21Let me just make this a little simpler for you.
01:21:23l'm gonna go stay with Denise and Barry,
01:21:25and you and your bud Sydney can hang out and beat up Lou Ferrigno
01:21:29and go to Rush concerts
01:21:31and ride a tandem bicycle down the Venice Boardwalk for all l care.
01:21:34-We never rode bicycles. -Goodbye!
01:21:37Zooey, come on ! This is ridiculous! Zooey! Zooey!
01:22:13Oh, my God.
01:22:24My God.
01:22:26All right, he put up some billboards. Put up some billboards.
01:22:31Oh, my God.
01:22:37Oh, God ! No!
01:22:40Fuck me over. Fucking fucking fuck!
01:22:46Are you kidding me?
01:22:50Come on !
01:22:59Yeah, it's open.
01:23:01Hey.
01:23:02That's what you borrowed $8,000 for?
01:23:04You saw the billboards. Pretty awesome, right?
01:23:06Pretty awesome?
01:23:07My buddy Dave sells ad space, so he got us a great deal.
01:23:10Pretty awesome? They're idiotic.
01:23:11You put my face on a 1 0-foot dick over Santa Monica Boulevard.
01:23:15Yeah. lt's hilarious.
01:23:17Well, in one day you managed to screw my career, you ruined my relationship. . .
01:23:21What are you talking about? Ruin your relationship?
01:23:23Zooey walked out on me
01:23:24because l asked her why we were getting married.
01:23:28Why would you ask her that?
01:23:30Pete, that conversation was between you and me.
01:23:33You can't have that talk with her. l just. . . Look, l assumed you understood that.
01:23:37God, l am so sick of your ridiculous rules.
01:23:40l like it that l can share things with Zooey.
01:23:42l like it that if l can't sleep at night, she's there to talk to.
01:23:46Do you know the best night l've had in the last five years
01:23:49is the night that Zooey and l split a bottle of wine,
01:23:52we made a summer salad, and watched Chocolat together.
01:23:55-You mean Chocolate? -ChocoIat.
01:23:56-Chocolate with Johnny Depp. -ChocoIat.
01:23:58You're not fucking French, Pete. lt's called Chocolate.
01:24:01Chocolate has got an "E" on it.
01:24:02-That was your favorite night? -Yes.
01:24:03Your best night in five years is watching Chocolate with Johnny Depp?
01:24:06You should be ashamed of yourself.
01:24:07The combination of wine and summer salad and Chocolat, yeah.
01:24:10You should be embarrassed.
01:24:12You know, l think you're threatened by what Zooey and l have
01:24:14because you're afraid l won't be able to hang out every night.
01:24:16Hey, you know what? l have a ton of friends, all right?
01:24:18Yeah, who are all moving on with their lives.
01:24:20They're in relationships. They have kids. They're growing up.
01:24:24Hey, let's not forget. You were the one using me.
01:24:27-l think we were using each other. -Whatever.
01:24:30l really don't understand what's going on right now.
01:24:35l think we should spend some time apart.
01:24:42Okay.
01:24:46So if l actually do wind up having a wedding,
01:24:48it's probably best that you not be there.
01:24:53Yeah. Sounds good to me, Pete.
01:24:55And if you could have those billboards taken down. . .
01:24:56Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it'll take a few days, but l will get on that.
01:25:00And l'll also make sure you get your money back as soon as possible.
01:25:04Also, l think you have my season 2 Lost DVDs. lf you. . .
01:25:10-lf you haven't watched them yet. . . -lt's fine, Pete. They're right here.
01:25:17-Thanks. -Yep.
01:25:19lt's just Zooey hasn't seen them all yet,
01:25:21and she's really curious as to what was going on inside that hatch.
01:25:24Yep.
01:25:28-l wish you the best of luck, Peter. -You, too, Sydney.
01:25:34Bye, Anwar.
01:25:48-Hey, Denise. Sorry to bother you. -lt's. . . l'll go get Zooey.
01:25:52-Thank you. -lt's okay.
01:25:58-Hey, Barry. -Poker night.
01:26:02-Full table. -That's okay.
01:26:03l'm here to talk to my fiancée.
01:26:06Nice face.
01:26:08Thank you.
01:26:10-On the billboards. -Right. Yeah.
01:26:13-Yeah, my friend Sydney, he. . . -l don't give a shit.
01:26:20-Hey. -Hi.
01:26:23-Could l talk to you outside? -Yeah.
01:26:28-License to sell. -Yeah.
01:26:31Look, that's what Sydney borrowed all that money for.
01:26:34He thought it would help my career.
01:26:35Well, it got your name out there.
01:26:38Besides, you look pretty cute with a thick mustache.
01:26:43Zooey, look, l'm so sorry that l asked you
01:26:46why you thought we should get married.
01:26:47lt's just that l've been talking about this stuff with Sydney,
01:26:49and, you know, it made me nervous.
01:26:51Peter, l'm nervous, too, okay? lt's a big deal.
01:26:55l couldn't believe actually how sure you seemed about the whole thing,
01:26:58which is why l freaked out when you all of a sudden started questioning it.
01:27:02Well, l'm sure about us for so many reasons.
01:27:05Truth is, l've been a girlfriend guy, but out of all those girls,
01:27:08you're the only one that wanted me to have my own life.
01:27:10You know? You want me to have friends for me, not you.
01:27:15lt's, like, one of the most romantic things l could ever think of.
01:27:18What's up?
01:27:21Dude, come on.
01:27:23Zooey, l love you, and l wanna spend the rest of my life with you.
01:27:28Can we get this engagement back on track?
01:27:30Okay.
01:27:32-Please? -Yes. Yes.
01:27:36-Come on, it's poker night. -So?
01:27:38So just take her out for a cup of coffee or something.
01:27:39l'm not taking her out for a cup of coffee.
01:27:41Why don't you take the boys to fucking Starbucks and play poker?
01:27:43Because it's poker night here. lt's always poker night here.
01:27:45Yeah, that's my best friend.
01:27:46l'm not leaving her, ever. How about that?
01:27:48She can stay here for five years if she wants to.
01:27:51You're gonna dress up like a cheerleader tonight for me, all right?
01:27:53Fine. Get the fuck out of here.
01:27:54Hey, Zooey, you can stay here as long as you want. You are always welcome.
01:27:58-Thank you. -Okay? Hey, by the way,
01:28:01Peter, they've got plenty of room open on the poker table.
01:28:04They were lying. They'd love to have you play poker.
01:28:06-l'm not going to. -Okay.
01:28:09Oh, my God. Barry and Denise fight all the time,
01:28:11and then they have really loud, intense make-up sex.
01:28:13Please get me out of here, please.
01:28:14-Let's get your stuff. Come on. -Okay.
01:28:16By the way, l ended things with Sydney.
01:28:18Peter, really? l hope that's not because of me.
01:28:20No, no. He can be a great guy. lt's just. . . lt wasn't really working out.
01:28:29Then you process your purchase.
01:28:31That sounds riveting.
01:28:38l just stepped in your dog's crap, asshole!
01:28:41Aren't you gonna pick up your dog's shit, shit giant?
01:28:45Pick up your shit like a man !
01:28:47Nice scarf, dickwad !
01:28:49-Okay, so what should be our last song? -Into the Mystic.
01:28:54That's perfect. That is perfect.
01:28:56Okay. Okay, so we have to go through the place cards one more time,
01:28:59'cause l'm a little bit. . .
01:29:02Why don't you just call him?
01:29:05Because guys don't do that.
01:29:11E, Ethan. What's up, my man? E. Bone Capone.
01:29:16l'm just hanging out, man.
01:29:17l wanted to see if you wanted to come over and watch TV or something.
01:29:20Again you're gonna watch the Wonder Emporium?
01:29:24Dude, what the fuck is there to do at LEGOLAND
01:29:27that you take these kids there every weekend?
01:29:31l understand that that's not the point of teaching,
01:29:34but just give them all B pluses.
01:29:36Can l. . . Could l come with you?
01:29:40What do you mean, the kids think l'm creepy?
01:29:44-Good to see you, Peter. -You, too, Mel.
01:29:47You know, l haven't had a real friend since my wife passed.
01:29:52l'm really glad you called.
01:29:56Hey, do you have any plans on June 30th?
01:30:00l'm 89 years old. What the fuck kind of plans would l have?
01:30:08Just needed an adjustment. I hope it'II be better now.
01:30:11My mother knew Roux's return had nothing to do with the siIIy oId door.
01:30:19So did I.
01:30:21Stupid.
01:30:22My favorite, hot chocoIate.
01:30:24Davis Dunn, how may l direct your call?
01:30:26-Hey, Leanne. -Peter. Where have you been?
01:30:28Well, it's my wedding this weekend,
01:30:30so l've been helping my fiancée with all the last-minute preparations.
01:30:34They broke the mold when they made you.
01:30:36Yeah.
01:30:37Go check your voice mail. You got like a million messages.
01:30:44Yeah, is this PistoI Pete?
01:30:46I have a home in Los FeIiz, and I've been trying to seII it,
01:30:48and I saw your biIIboards. I'm very impressed with your ads.
01:30:51License to seII? That's hystericaI! It's Iike James Bond.
01:30:54Hi, I'm interested in buying the Ferrigno estate.
01:30:57-If you couId give me a caII. -Oh, my God.
01:30:58I Iove the one with you in the bed. My number is 31 0...
01:31:02-My husband and I saw your ad... -Stop. Slow down.
01:31:04HeIIo, Peter. It's Doug.
01:31:07Saw the biIIboards. They are wonderfuI.
01:31:10WouIdn't expect anything Iess from you. And sorry about caIIing you a whore.
01:31:15And heIIo to Sydney if you guys are stiII together.
01:31:17Otherwise, you can Facebook me.
01:31:20Peter, hi. It's Lou Ferrigno. WonderfuI biIIboards.
01:31:23Listen, I'm sorry if I ever doubted you, man.
01:31:26l told that douchebag Tevin
01:31:27that l want you to have the exclusive back on my house.
01:31:30-Excuse me, Mr. Ferrigno? -Yeah.
01:31:31-Ten-minute warning. -Okay. Thank you.
01:31:33So just call me or just text me.
01:31:36Goodbye, my friend.
01:31:43There's my dog !
01:31:45Hey, me rikey the billboards.
01:31:48l completely underestimated you, my brother.
01:31:50What say we go down to Houston's, get a burger and a beer
01:31:53and talk about how we can tag-team the Ferrigno deal?
01:32:03Why are you slapping me?
01:32:04Because l wanted to cause you some physical pain,
01:32:07but l have never actually hit anybody in the face. lt freaks me out.
01:32:10And l didn't really know what to do.
01:32:13Tevin, stay the fuck away from my listing.
01:32:23-Hey, Carolyn. -Hey, Pete.
01:32:27Good luck, Peter.
01:32:40l'm so excited to see who Peter chose for his wedding party.
01:32:43Yeah. Yeah.
01:33:04Honestly, that has to be the most random
01:33:06collection of groomsmen in the history of weddings.
01:33:09-l'm great. You know, l just got to. . . -Okay.
01:33:11l'll see you at the wedding.
01:33:12l'm gonna get another mimosa.
01:33:14Do you want to finish the one. . .
01:33:38Hello?
01:33:40Hey. Wow, l didn't expect to hear from you.
01:33:45No, l wouldn't want to impose.
01:33:49Yeah, yeah. Maybe if l hurry, l can make the end of it.
01:33:51Okay, l gotta go. l gotta find something to wear.
01:34:05Which one of these men has the ring?
01:34:08l actually don't have a best man, so. . .
01:34:14Robbie, l want you to hold the ring for me.
01:34:19-Are you serious? -Yeah.
01:34:23-Okay. -Unless you don't want to. l mean. . .
01:34:29Thanks, Peter.
01:34:30So sweet.
01:34:32Hey, l want you boys to know, you're both my best friends
01:34:40and Hank Mardukas.
01:34:43Hey, Hank.
01:35:22Awesome tux.
01:35:24-Thanks. lt's blue. -Yes, it is.
01:35:27-You look amazing. -Thank you.
01:35:30Good afternoon. We are gathered here today
01:35:34to join Peter Klaven and Zooey Rice in matrimony.
01:35:38lf anyone can show just cause why they may not marry. . .
01:35:43You son of a bitch !
01:35:44No, no, Mr. Ferrigno, l don't wanna object.
01:35:47l just wanted to make it in time for the vows. That's all.
01:35:50l'm sorry. Sorry.
01:35:52Sydney, come up.
01:35:54No, l'm fine back here.
01:35:55-Please, yes. Yes. -Are you sure?
01:35:59l hope you don't mind.
01:36:01You invited him?
01:36:10Well, l saw you walking on the lawn looking all sad,
01:36:12and l realized l couldn't let you get married without your best man.
01:36:20-l love you so much. -l love you, too.
01:36:23Zooey, thanks so much for inviting me.
01:36:25Of course. You got here really fast.
01:36:28Yeah. You know what, l was on the Vesp,
01:36:30so l just did the old weaveroo.
01:36:33Dude, you're lying. Your voice went up when you said that.
01:36:36His voice got high.
01:36:40Look, l was on my way when Zooey called.
01:36:42lnvite or not, there was no way l was gonna miss your wedding,
01:36:45and l wanted to give you this.
01:36:51Man, you don't have to do this.
01:36:53You know what? l know you don't believe me,
01:36:54but l'm actually a pretty successful investor, so. . .
01:36:57Look, the billboards were my wedding gift to you guys.
01:36:59Man, they worked.
01:37:00Yeah, l figured when l saw the Ferrigs that they must have worked.
01:37:03-That's great. -Lou's the best.
01:37:05l can only imagine.
01:37:09l put him in a sleeper hold. Out.
01:37:13Sydney, l'm really sorry for all the stuff that l said.
01:37:15Pete, you called me on a lot of my issues. l appreciate it.
01:37:19And for the record, l saw Chocolat.
01:37:24Just delightful.
01:37:26lt is, right?
01:37:27-l love Chocolat. -l love that movie.
01:37:29-Chocolat? What the fuck is that? -l have no idea.
01:37:32lt's a beautiful movie.
01:37:34l'm really glad you're here, Sydney.
01:37:38Me, too.
01:37:39l can't even imagine getting married without you.
01:37:46l love you, man.
01:37:48l love you, too, bud.
01:37:54-l love you, dude. -l love you, Bro Montana.
01:37:57-l love you, holmes. -l love you, Broseph Goebbels.
01:37:59-Love you, muchacha. -l love you, Tycho Brohe.
01:38:02Okay. Okay. Right. Let's continue here.
01:38:06-l so wanna marry you. -You will.
01:38:09l'm going to.
01:38:10Zooey, repeat after me.
01:38:11-l, Zooey Rice. -l, Zooey Rice.
01:38:14-Take you, Peter Klaven. -Take you, Peter Klaven.
01:38:17-To be my lawfully wedded husband. -To be my lawfully wedded husband.
01:40:07l'm really sorry about that dumb toast l gave.
01:40:10lt was out of line. l got really nervous to meet you and l'm. . .
01:40:12l don't know what happened to me. l'm sorry.
01:40:14Sydney, it's fine. Thank you. That's very sweet of you.
01:40:18For the record, l like giving blowjobs.
01:40:21Well, that's good to hear. You know, l was just looking out for my buddy.
01:40:24l hear you.
01:40:26l had to make sure that he's getting blowies on a regular basis.
01:40:28Yeah, l'm not really comfortable with this conversation.
01:40:30-Honey. -We're all friends now.
01:40:32-Friends do this. -No, they don't.
01:40:40-Wow, you have a nice singing voice. -Thanks.
01:40:42-Are you in a band? -Not yet.
01:40:45-Hailey. -Lonnie.
01:40:46-Hi. -Hi.
01:40:52That's awesome! That's awesome!
01:40:54Excuse me, Peter.
01:41:00Get my wife on up here!
01:41:05You've been Rushified!
01:41:12-You should be. . . -You've never called me an asshole?
01:41:13No, l've said you act like an asshole.
01:41:15So, you get away with it because it was the act of.
01:41:17-That's your behavior. -Right.
01:41:18l'm not saying you're an asshole.
01:41:20Oh, my God.
01:41:21Shit. What? Do l have a fucking sign on me?
01:41:23-No, it's not my fault. -How is it not your fault?
01:41:26Because l'm pregnant.
01:41:29l love you so much. l love you so much.
01:41:33-Are you still mad? -Try to make it a boy.
01:41:56Thank you. I'd just Iike to make a quick toast.
01:41:58No!

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