|00:01:01||No, man, I'm just saying'--
I'm sayin' if-if you own|
|00:01:03||the beach property, right...|
- do you own, like,|
|00:01:07||the sand and the water?|
|00:01:08||Nobody owns the water.
God owns--It's God's water.|
|00:01:12||What if someone walks onto your beach, right?|
|00:01:15||Let's say if you do own it.|
|00:01:16||No, man, you don't own the beach.|
|00:01:18||- What you own is sand on the beach, man.|
|00:01:20||Here. Here, man.|
|00:01:20||- What if there's a naked girl on the beach?|
|00:01:24||That girl's not yours.
You don't own the girl.|
|00:01:26||- What if she breaks her foot on your property?|
|00:01:28||She could sue me.|
|00:01:31||Sue me! Sue me!|
|00:01:34||- Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
- Holy shit!|
|00:01:38||Ditch it, man! Ditch it!|
|00:01:40||- Dude, can you eat it?
- The whole bag?|
|00:01:48||Hey, Mike, um,
while you're at it?|
|00:01:52||- Those are 'shrooms, dude!
- Come on, man, just eat it!|
|00:02:02||- I hate to ask, but, uh...for the team?
- I can't eat that!|
|00:02:06||- No! Throw it out the window!
- Okay! Okay! Okay!|
|00:02:08||All right, I'm doin' a drop.|
|00:02:10||- I'm goin' for a drop.
- Just opening the window.|
|00:02:14||- It's gone. It's gone.
- We're cool. It's cool.|
|00:02:16||- Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!|
|00:02:18||- We're dead!
- All right, all right.|
|00:02:20||Windows down! Windows down!|
|00:02:21||- Windows down!
Put the windows down!|
|00:02:28||All right, we're cool.
|00:02:38||God, did you see that?|
|00:02:40||It must have been,
like, a double homicide|
|00:02:42||or something fuckin' cool.|
|00:02:44||- We was freakin' out, man.
- Man, I almost had a heart attack.|
|00:02:49||Mike, you didn't eat both those bags, did you?|
|00:02:51||- Come and get it.|
|00:02:55||You must have eaten, like,
a hundred bucks worth of pot...|
|00:03:00||- and, like, 30 bucks worth of shrooms, man.|
|00:03:02||Who's the man?|
|00:03:03||So, I'm gonna--I'm gonna need
130 buck, you know...|
|00:03:08||whenever you get a chance.|
|00:03:10||- Fuck, man.
- That-That's not really cool, man.|
|00:03:17||Is that the same car, man?|
|00:03:19||- D-Do I look high?
|00:03:33||Here they-- Here they come.|
|00:03:35||- Lick on it.
Just lick it or somethin'.|
|00:03:38||Be cool, be cool.|
|00:03:43||License and registration.|
|00:03:45||Uh, Officer, I know that--|
|00:03:47||License and registration, please.|
|00:03:57||- You know how fast you were goin'?
|00:03:59||- How fast you were goin'?
- Uh, 65?|
- Officer, isn't-isn't|
|00:04:07||the speed limit 65?|
|00:04:08||Yeah, it is.|
|00:04:12||- Where you boys headed?
|00:04:15||C-Canada. We're goin'
over the border to Canada...|
|00:04:17||- for some french fries and gravy, sir.
Almost made it.|
|00:04:26||- Are you okay?
- Yeah, sure.|
|00:04:30||- Yes, sir?
- Yes, sir.|
|00:04:32||- Now, did you say, 'Yes, sir'?
- I think he said, 'Yeah, sure.'|
|00:04:36||- What'd you say, man?
- Well, I said, 'Yeah, sure,'|
|00:04:38||but what, literally, I said
was, 'Yeah, sure, sir.'|
|00:04:42||- So you are okay then?
- Yes, sir.|
|00:04:45||- You smell somethin', Rabbit?
|00:04:50||Now hand over that registration.|
My mother's gonna kill me.|
|00:04:59||Holy, shit. This is--This is--This is--
Don't look. Don't look.|
|00:05:03||- Oh, my God.
- I don't get it, man.|
|00:05:05||- Am I fucked up or is this fucked up, man?|
|00:05:10||This shit is fuckin' crazy.|
|00:05:13||Shit, man. I was just
about to pull out my Nine...|
|00:05:15||and put a cap in that pig's ass.|
|00:05:20||- Oh, fuck!|
|00:05:25||- Oh, my God!|
|00:05:40||Pull the vehicle over!|
|00:05:43||- I'm-I'm already pulled over, man!
- Pull over farther, man!|
|00:05:46||- I can't pull over--
Sir, I'm already pulled over!|
|00:05:48||He's already pulled over!|
|00:05:49||He can't pull over any farther!|
|00:05:54||License and registration, please.|
|00:05:57||- But I-I just gave you it, Officer.
- License and registration.|
|00:06:02||You know how fast you were goin'?|
|00:06:05||- Uh, sixty-five?
|00:06:07||I'm freakin' out, man.|
|00:06:10||You are freakin' out, man.|
|00:06:15||You want to know why I pulled you over?|
- Officer, that-that's not ours.|
|00:06:22||- Candy bars!
- Littering and--Littering and--|
|00:06:26||- And, uh--
- Littering and--|
|00:06:28||Littering and, uh--Littering and, uh--|
|00:06:32||Littering and, uh--|
|00:06:39||- Littering and smoking the reefer.|
|00:06:43||Now to teach you boys a lesson, Officer Rabbit|
|00:06:45||and I are gonna stand here...|
|00:06:46||- while you three smoke the whole bag.|
|00:06:50||- Please, yes--
|00:06:52||Mother of God.|
|00:07:08||We're in high-speed pursuit of a white Miata|
|00:07:11||headin' southbound on 2-9-4.|
|00:07:13||Unit 91, come in, 91.
Unit 91, come in, 91.|
|00:07:17||What are you doing out there, 91?
Quit counting your pubes.|
|00:07:20||We got a hell-raiser in a white Miata.|
|00:07:23||Ninety-one, are you there?
|00:07:25||Ninety-one, are you there?|
You catch any speeders today?|
- What the fuck!|
|00:07:45||- Let's go, 91.|
|00:08:36||Rabbit, get that gun out!|
|00:08:41||Aw, Mac, you fucker!|
|00:08:47||- You guys are too slow.
- You killed my dummy.|
|00:08:51||Mac, now I'm gonna pay you.
But I shouldn't, 'cause I knew|
|00:08:54||it was you the whole time.|
|00:08:55||Thorny, don't lie in front of the rookie.|
|00:08:58||It sets a bad example.|
|00:08:59||- Foster, where are your shoes?
- What, are you|
|00:09:01||the shoe police now?|
|00:09:02||I am, and you owe me
20 laps around the bar. Let's go.|
|00:09:05||- Your black magic only works on the rookie.|
|00:09:07||That's brown magic.|
|00:09:08||- Pay up.
- When do I get to do that?|
|00:09:11||You'll get your chance,
- That's a lot of booze.|
|00:09:16||- Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
- I'm impressed.|
|00:09:21||Sorry, boys, you're on duty.|
|00:09:24||- On your tab, Officer Womack?
- Rookie, pay the lady.|
|00:09:27||Unit 23. Come in, 23.|
|00:09:29||Unit 23. Come in, 23.|
|00:09:31||Do you need me out there?
Do you need my assistance?|
|00:09:34||- Shut up, Farva.
- I can be there--|
|00:09:36||Listen, we got the Miata.
|00:09:38||What about those dopers you picked up?|
|00:09:41||Do you need my assistance?|
|00:09:48||The snozberries taste like snozberries.|
|00:09:57||- Oh, shit!
- He killed the cops!|
|00:09:59||- Oh, shit!
- He killed the cops!|
|00:10:01||- Get out of the car, man!
- This is a cop car!|
- You boys like Mexico?|
|00:10:32||One, two, three, do it!|
|00:10:36||Oh, go, girlfriend.
I'm your mother.|
|00:10:40||Come on, Thorny.
You're losing to the rookie.|
|00:10:42||Come on, Rabbit.
You can do it.|
|00:10:44||Oh, Rabbit, he's killing you.
I got Thorny in front by a lot.|
|00:10:48||What's the matter, your mama
didn't teach you how to chug?|
|00:10:50||Come on, Thorn.
Come on, Thorn.|
- Goddamn it.|
|00:10:56||I am all that is man.|
|00:11:00||- Every time.
- Finish it up.|
|00:11:07||See, there you have it.
You're doing it all wrong.|
|00:11:10||Open your throat, relax the jaw.|
|00:11:11||Don't forget to cup the balls.
You're never gonna win...|
|00:11:13||with those thin little bird lips you got there.|
|00:11:16||This guy's got these big old powerful lips.|
|00:11:18||Am I correct, Thorn?|
|00:11:19||So much of my authority is
derived from the power right here.|
|00:11:34||- Uh, do you have any more syrup?
- Sorry, Urs.|
|00:11:39||Why couldn't they chug ketchup?|
|00:11:42||It's a good thing you didn't order hash browns.|
|00:11:44||I mean, if they had been chugging the ketchup.|
|00:11:49||You get the score of that
Red Sox game last night?|
|00:11:51||- I turned it off just after--
- Ah, waiter. There you are.|
|00:11:55||I will have the enchilada platter
with two tacos and no guacamole.|
- Yeah, Chief, I'll take a chinchilla.|
|00:12:03||I don't get it. Tacos?|
|00:12:06||They think I'm Mexican.|
|00:12:08||You're not Mexican?|
|00:12:11||Another highway cop?
What, are you guys multiplying?|
|00:12:13||Yeah, if they can figure
which hole to stick it in.|
|00:12:17||- Ah, what the fuck?|
|00:12:20||- Hey, I saw that!
- Sit down, Rando.|
|00:12:32||Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
All right, all right!|
|00:12:34||- Cut it out, you turkeys!
- He fuckin' started it!|
|00:12:39||I'm sorry, Bruce. These boys
get that syrup in them...|
|00:12:43||they get a little antsy in their pantsy.|
|00:12:45||You just can't keep them under control.|
|00:12:47||You should keep these dogs on a leash, John.|
|00:12:54||* A-number one top gun cadets *|
|00:12:57||* In the name of justice
John Q Public can trust us *|
|00:13:01||* Hail to thee dear old Paroon *|
|00:13:04||- Hail to thee!
- Hail to thee!|
|00:13:06||- Hail to thee!
- Hey, all right!|
|00:13:09||Hey, what's up, bone diddlies?
Did I miss the song?|
|00:13:12||Sing it again, rookie bitch.|
|00:13:17||- Forgot the coffee.
- My bad, Cap.|
|00:13:20||All right, all right.
Let's get started.|
|00:13:24||I got the latest shit list, gentlemen.|
|00:13:26||It's down to Flagstone,
Deer Lick and us.|
|00:13:30||And if we keep up these low numbers,
you can bet your sweet butts...|
|00:13:33||we're gonna get the big, ugly ax.|
|00:13:36||- Who'll bust heads on the highway?
- The goddamn local cops!|
|00:13:39||And you better believe
that Grady and his goons...|
|00:13:41||have got a copy of this list,
so we need to step it up.|
|00:13:44||Who wants cream?|
|00:13:46||Nobody? Okay, no cream.|
|00:13:50||Foster, how many tickets
did you issue last week?|
|00:13:54||- Uh, I don't have my figures
here in front of me.|
|00:13:58||- I can't make 'em speed.
- Try hidin'.|
|00:14:02||- And grow a goddamn moustache, why don't ya?|
|00:14:04||I haven't shaved in two weeks.|
|00:14:05||- I'm growin' mine.
- Oh, you're growin' yours, are ya?|
|00:14:08||- I'll tell you when
it's time to grow a moustache.|
|00:14:11||Oh, no! That's Rabbit's.
|00:14:14||- I get it. It's Rabbit's.
- Oh, look, a bar of soap.|
I got you good, you fucker!|
|00:14:20||- Awesome prank, Farva.
- Better than the crap you pull, Frank.|
|00:14:23||- Look, fellas...
- Bite it, Rook.|
|00:14:25||Make him look like a dick.|
|00:14:27||every Thursday night I walk
into the Lodge to play Hearts...|
|00:14:31||and they always have my
Old-Fashioned just waiting there.|
|00:14:35||- I like that.
- Bite it. Bite--|
Give me the goddamn soap!|
|00:14:42||We got 50 miles of highway.
That stretch of highway is ours.|
|00:14:45||I'll be damned if I'll let
Grady and those buttheads|
|00:14:48||get their hands on it!|
|00:14:49||Thorny, you're the ranking officer here.|
|00:14:51||Let's do your jobs
and keep this place open, huh?|
|00:14:55||Let's do it. Farva!|
|00:14:56||Your suspension continues.
Hit the radio.|
|00:15:04||Oh. Oh, local Smokeys on our turf.|
|00:15:07||- All right, hit it.|
|00:15:11||See, that's what O'Hagan was talking about.|
|00:15:13||Hi. You guys forget what color your car is?|
- Later, dude.|
- Later, dude.|
how about 'Cat Game'?|
|00:15:23||- Cat Game?
What's, uh, what's the record?|
|00:15:25||Thorny did six...|
|00:15:26||- but I think you can do ten.
|00:15:29||- Starting right meow?|
|00:15:35||- Uh, sorry about that.
- All right, meow...|
|00:15:37||hand over your license and registration.|
|00:15:44||- Your registration?
Hurry up meow.|
|00:15:50||- There somethin' funny here, boy?|
|00:15:54||No, no, no.|
|00:15:56||Well, then, why you laughing,
Mr. Larry Johnson?|
|00:16:02||- All right meow, where were we?
- Are you saying 'meow'?|
|00:16:06||Am I saying 'meow'?|
|00:16:09||- I-I-I thought--
- Don't think, boy.|
|00:16:11||Meow, do you know how fast you were going?|
|00:16:15||Meow, what is so damn funny?|
|00:16:17||I could have sworn you said 'meow.'|
|00:16:19||Do I look like a cat to you, boy?|
|00:16:23||Am I jumping around all
nimbly-bimbly from tree to tree?|
|00:16:26||- No. No.
- Am I drinkin' milk from a saucer?|
- Do you see me eatin' mice?|
|00:16:32||Now you stop laughin' right meow.|
|00:16:37||Meow, I'm gonna have to
give you a ticket on this one.|
- No 'buts' meow. That's the law.|
|00:16:43||It's not so funny meow, is it?|
|00:17:04||Thanks for washing my car, Rook.|
|00:17:09||- You know what this is?
- A chamois cloth?|
|00:17:11||Ha! Lucky guess.
I just lost a buck...|
|00:17:23||- Think that's funny, do you?
- Yeah, I do.|
|00:17:26||Also heard something funny
about how you got suspended.|
|00:17:29||Something about a school bus full of kids?|
|00:17:32||Oh, you heard that, did ya?
Let me tell you another|
|00:17:36||funny story, New Jack.|
|00:17:37||Back in '7 4...|
|00:17:39||the great Charlie Rich was
named Country Musician of the Year.|
|00:17:42||Then in '75, he had to hand
the award off to the new one.|
|00:17:45||And you know who that was?|
|00:17:47||Mr.'Sunshine on My Goddamn Shoulders,'|
- Yeah. Can you believe it?|
- Replaced by John Fuckin' Denver.|
|00:17:58||Well, I'll be damaged
if Mr. Rich didn't pull out|
|00:18:00||his cigarette lighter...|
|00:18:01||and light that award on fire
in front of everyone.|
|00:18:05||Do you get it?|
|00:18:08||So you're saying you'll set
my Country Music Award on fire?|
|00:18:12||I'm saying when my suspension's up,
you better watch your ass.|
|00:18:16||Or you'll light my ass on fire?|
|00:18:26||You wanna go?
You wanna take one?|
|00:18:28||Make your first move.|
|00:18:29||Hey! I hate to break up the honky convention,|
|00:18:32||but we got a 10-92.|
|00:18:33||- You wanna take this one, Rod?|
|00:18:35||I bet you do--Ohh!|
|00:18:41||Nice wax job, Rook.|
|00:18:43||- Thank you, sir.
|00:18:50||What the hell is this?
We got local pigs runnin' around?|
|00:18:53||How'd the locals beat us here?
We're, like, ten miles out.|
|00:18:56||Look at this chump.
Oh, Mr. Tough Guy here.|
|00:19:00||Take a walk, buddy,
take a walk.|
It's a cool Winnebago.|
|00:19:06||- My Uncle Denny used
to have one just like this.|
|00:19:09||Rabbit, put your game face on.|
|00:19:11||You got it, boss.|
|00:19:15||- Hey, what the fuck?
|00:19:22||- Oh, man!
What happened here?|
|00:19:24||Take a walk, sonny.|
|00:19:25||- This investigation is already under control.|
|00:19:28||Well, now it is.|
- Don't touch|
|00:19:30||the crime scene, rodent!|
|00:19:32||Rabbit. Hey, look at that.
|00:19:38||- Quit slappin' me.
- Would you stop touching|
|00:19:40||my rookie, Grady?|
|00:19:41||- Hey, I'll touch you.|
|00:19:47||This is the Spurbury Police.
Put your hands up|
|00:19:50||and come outta there!|
|00:19:56||Get the fuck out of here!|
|00:20:05||- Glamor pet.
No dice. Get your tape.|
|00:20:08||Okay. Let's cruise.|
|00:20:12||- Sounds like y'all have a hog problem.|
|00:20:14||Oh, watch it, Mac.|
|00:20:15||Mac, I'm serious.
Be careful, Mac. He's angry.|
|00:20:17||- He's angry? Well, hello.
- Hey, mark it off.|
|00:20:22||- Smy, you mark it off.
- Back it up, Grady. I'm serious.|
|00:20:25||What's the point? Didn't you guys
get shut down already?|
|00:20:28||Oh, yeah, that's next week.|
|00:20:35||Your bust. You know there's
a dead chick in there?|
|00:20:37||Move it, Ramashit!|
|00:20:39||- Take it up with O'Hagan!
- Fight, fight, fight!|
|00:20:53||Get off of me!
|00:21:04||I'll give you the fat guy for Foster and, uh...|
|00:21:08||how about that stupid guy for Rabbit?|
|00:21:10||Well, youre gonna have to be more specific.|
|00:21:13||They're both kinda fat and stupid.|
|00:21:15||Get these damn handcuffs off now, Ramathorn!|
|00:21:19||- Cut him loose.
- Go ahead, Smy.|
|00:21:22||You want to tell me what bug
crawled up your big ass, Grady?|
|00:21:25||Yeah, I will tell you.
This is our crime scene.|
|00:21:28||We are takin' it.|
|00:21:30||- It's highway.
It's our jurisdiction.|
|00:21:33||This highway is closed.
This is our jurisdiction.|
|00:21:39||Aw, fuck it.
You deal with the hog.|
|00:21:52||What in hell's gotten into you guys?|
|00:21:55||I told you to be good.
I told you this was a bad time.|
|00:21:58||But you go ahead and get into
a battle royale with the locals|
|00:22:02||at a crime scene.|
|00:22:03||- But they started that fight.
- Of course they started the fight.|
|00:22:06||Now they've taken
a jurisdictional grievance against us.|
|00:22:09||They want us to blow it.|
a murder on the highway...|
|00:22:16||and you give them the investigation.|
|00:22:18||Christ! We look like a bunch of pussies.|
come on out, Rabbit.|
|00:22:31||I guess I just go take a shower then, huh?|
You're out of there!|
|00:22:46||All right, good cut, Ruthie.
Good cut. Come on.|
|00:22:48||Next batter! Batter up!
Next batter! Let's go.|
if they do shut you down...|
|00:22:55||maybe you could stick around here?|
|00:22:57||I don't know,
get a different job?|
|00:23:00||You can always come work in my shop.|
|00:23:02||Yeah, retired cop goes to work
for his hippie girlfriend|
|00:23:06||in her head shop. Too sitcom.|
|00:23:08||Okay. You better pay
attention, Coach. Our son's up.|
|00:23:12||All right, Arlo.
Watch the ball. Get a hit.|
|00:23:14||You got it.|
|00:23:17||- Let's do it.
- All right, Arlo.|
|00:23:32||- Hey, you gotta keep on your toes.
- Do somethin' about that, ref.|
|00:23:36||Sorry-ass local cops.|
|00:23:38||You think you have a nice
relationship with someone...|
|00:23:40||based on professional courtesy
and mutual boredom.|
|00:23:43||The next thing you know,
they're trying to take you out.|
|00:23:48||I don't wanna get transferred.|
|00:23:50||- Have to go be a rookie again
with a bunch of random dudes.|
|00:23:53||Don't worry about it.|
|00:23:54||If it happens, we'll, uh,
we'll all just stay here,|
|00:23:58||open up a roller disco.|
|00:24:00||Throw him the heat.
Bring it on.|
|00:24:03||Uh, anybody want a corn dog?|
|00:24:07||See if they got any chocolate bananas. Foster?|
|00:24:19||Hey, Charlie's Angel.|
You're the one millionth|
|00:24:24||person to say that to me.|
|00:24:26||- Oh. What do I win?
- Ooh. Um...|
|00:24:30||Ahh. There you go.|
|00:24:32||Hope I don't get brain freeze.|
|00:24:34||I'm not sure you've got the required equipment.|
|00:24:37||So, listen, I, um, had a really good
time at that Winnebago fight.|
|00:24:41||Maybe, uh, I don't know,
we could do it again sometime.|
|00:24:45||All right, all right.
Fair is fair.|
|00:24:48||You can slug me back if you want to.|
|00:24:50||- Really? Okay.
|00:24:53||Hold my snow cone.|
- Heads up!|
|00:25:00||- Hey, what happened over there?|
|00:25:09||How about a little pep, hmm?|
|00:25:18||From those guys over there.|
|00:25:24||You want to move that,
|00:25:27||- So, about my field time.
- Yeah, yeah. I've been|
|00:25:29||thinkin' a lot about that.|
|00:25:31||I think I might be able
to talk to Grady for you.|
|00:25:33||- Pink stick, eat it or lose it.
- Hey, shut your pie hole, buddy.|
|00:25:38||I mean, because I'm ready to go out on patrol.|
|00:25:40||I'm goin' nuts being on the radio all the time.|
|00:25:43||I'd like to get some field work.|
|00:25:44||Yeah? Why don't you take your radio
and go stand in a field.|
|00:25:48||Move that gigantic cotton candy!|
|00:25:52||Goddamn it! How's the view
from sugar heaven, bitch?|
|00:26:03||Hi. I'm looking for Chief Grady.
I have some files for him.|
|00:26:06||Grady's not here.
I'll take the file.|
|00:26:09||- It's kind of important.
How about Officer Rando?|
|00:26:14||What do you need?
I'm the only one here?|
|00:26:16||There are no male officers around?|
|00:26:19||Just give me the file.|
|00:26:25||So you originally from Vermont or, uh, or what?|
you've got a lot of courage,|
|00:26:34||walkin' into the lion's den.|
|00:26:36||- Oh, I got brass buns.
- Mm. You should join the band.|
|00:26:41||What are your cells,
eight by eight?|
|00:26:44||Ours are nine by nine.
No big deal.|
|00:26:47||Listen, you seem like a really nice guy,|
|00:26:50||but I just don't date cops.|
|00:26:53||I'm not much of a cop, really.
More like a civilian|
|00:26:56||trapped in a cop's body.|
|00:26:57||Oh. Well, I hear you can
get an operation for that.|
|00:27:00||But then, I guess you'd miss out
on all those wacky things|
|00:27:03||you highway guys do.|
|00:27:04||Yeah, those stories about us
are mostly lies, really.|
|00:27:07||Except for the one about how
we pulled over AC/DC's bus...|
|00:27:10||and then they flew us down
to Jamaica to party with them;|
|00:27:13||that one's true.|
|00:27:13||But, yeah, other than that,
it's pretty boring out there.|
I wouldn't know.|
|00:27:22||All right, it's probably time
for you to get out of here.|
|00:27:25||- I don't want to get fired too.
- Oh, I'm not getting fired.|
|00:27:28||I'm gettin' shut down.
That's a big difference.|
|00:27:33||- In our cells,
the door is over here.|
|00:27:40||A couple of hyenas.|
|00:27:42||Well, you know,
they are speeding.|
|00:27:46||- Come in, Radio.
- Don't call me Radio, Unit 91.|
|00:27:50||Then don't call me Unit 91, Radio.|
|00:27:53||- Are you done?
- Yeah, okay, Radio.|
|00:27:56||We got a suspicious vehicle.
White Caprice, Vermont plates.|
|00:28:02||- Roger. Checking.
- Thank you, Radio.|
|00:28:08||Unit 91, that license plate belongs
to a local Spurbury police vehicle.|
|00:28:13||It does? Oh, my God!|
|00:28:16||- Very funny, 91.
- Thank you, Radio.|
|00:28:23||Whoa! Looks like that truck's planning on|
|00:28:25||skipping the weigh-in.|
|00:28:26||Yeah, well, you don't weigh in,
you don't wrestle.|
What's this jack-off doin;|
|00:28:31||trying to pull him over?|
|00:28:32||There's no fuckin' way that is happenin'.|
|00:28:36||What the hell's he doin'?
- I got somethin'.|
|00:28:41||Yeah. That's right, doofus.
Move it along.|
|00:28:47||You, uh, wanna do 'Repeat'?|
|00:28:51||Do you wanna do 'Repeat'?|
|00:28:53||No. I've been thinking a lot
about what the captain said.|
|00:28:57||- I'd like to play it straight this time, okay?|
|00:29:00||- For O'Hagan.
- For O'Hagan.|
|00:29:08||Would you mind stepping down from there with|
|00:29:09||your license and registration?|
|00:29:10||- Sure. I was just--
- Good morning.|
|00:29:13||Would you mind stepping down from there with|
|00:29:15||your license and registration?|
|00:29:16||- Yeah. No problem.
- Excuse me one second.|
|00:29:22||Excuse me one second.
|00:29:25||Did, uh, I do something wrong, officers...|
|00:29:28||because I know I wasn't speeding.|
|00:29:34||- Why didn't you weigh in?
- Yeah, why didn't you weigh in?|
|00:29:37||Did I miss that weigh station?|
|00:29:39||They got me runnin' so many miles...|
|00:29:41||I just must have dazed out and well--|
|00:29:43||I'll pull into the next one
and get weighed, okay?|
|00:29:45||What are you pulling back there?|
mostly just soap, I think.|
|00:29:50||Why don't we take a look?|
|00:29:52||Listen, Officers, I'm on a really
tight schedule. I really need to--|
|00:29:54||Let's go, Mr. Galikanokus.|
|00:29:57||Well, you heard him.
Let's go, Mr...|
|00:30:10||Hop on up.|
I'm an idiot.|
|00:30:15||Yeah, that's true.|
|00:30:18||Sorry about the light there.|
|00:30:20||I have a flashlight in the cab.|
|00:30:23||- Hey! Mr. Galikanokus!
|00:30:29||- We should have seen that comin'.
- We should have seen that comin'.|
|00:30:32||- It is time to stop now, Mac.
- It is...|
|00:30:36||time to stop now, Mac?|
|00:30:41||And that was the second time I got crabs.|
|00:30:52||It stinks like sex in here.|
|00:30:57||We got a little distracted by
somebody doin' the 'Repeater.'|
|00:31:00||- Huh. That'll happen.
- That will happen.|
|00:31:03||Well, you did it this time.|
|00:31:05||- Fishin' your car out
of Lake Leblanc right now.|
|00:31:09||Nah, we just parked it across the street.|
|00:31:13||All right, listen. Next time
this kind of thing happens...|
|00:31:16||I want you to stop,
take a deep breath...|
|00:31:18||- and pull your heads out of
each other's asses, would ya?|
|00:31:21||It's easy for you to say.
He's got a tiny little head.|
|00:31:24||Yeah. What's this guy movin'?|
|00:31:25||Yeah. What's this guy movin'?|
|00:31:27||Soap, I think.|
That's one stinky pyramid.|
|00:31:45||We should've built a stinky igloo and climb in.|
|00:31:49||- That's a lot of pot.
- Thinkin' back to your tour days|
|00:31:52||with the Dead, Rabbit?|
|00:31:53||- Better lock this shit up, huh, buddy?
- What are you talkin' about?|
|00:32:05||Just print the damn thing!|
|00:32:07||All right, what do we know
about this Galikanokus guy?|
|00:32:11||It's a fake name,
|00:32:13||- Bunty Soap?
- Fake soap company.|
|00:32:16||- What, plastic fake?
Decorative fake? What?|
|00:32:18||No, like they don't exist.|
|00:32:20||So, we got 150 kilos
of marijuana and no arrests.|
|00:32:23||We got nothin'.|
|00:32:23||I got a theory, Cap.|
|00:32:25||These, uh, bales of pot,
they have that red Johnny Chimpo|
|00:32:29||sticker on them.|
|00:32:30||And that dead woman
in the Winnebago had the same|
|00:32:32||logo tattooed on her back.|
|00:32:33||See, a lot of drug dealers
use stickers to mark their|
|00:32:37||products. Like a brand name.|
|00:32:38||See! Where'd you learn that,
Cheech? Drug school?|
|00:32:42||Shut up, Farva.|
|00:32:45||Did that bag you pulled off those
college kids have that sticker?|
|00:32:50||I don't believe it did.|
|00:32:53||- Was there any marijuana on that Winnebago?|
|00:32:56||A monkey tattoo.
Sounds kinda flimsy.|
|00:33:01||What's the significance
of this John Chimpo fella?|
|00:33:06||Uh, well, you know those really
cheap Japanese cartoons?|
|00:33:11||No? This is basically
a cheaper Afghani knockoff.|
|00:33:16||It's this monkey that basically
travels around the world...|
|00:33:19||uh, doing nasty things.|
|00:33:21||His butler tries to keep him in line, but, uh--|
|00:33:23||It's really funny, Cap.
|00:33:27||The monkey has a butler?
|00:33:30||- Is that what they do in Arabia, Thorny?|
|00:33:32||How the hell should I know?|
|00:33:33||All right. Somebody get me
a VTR copy of this thing.|
|00:33:38||I'll talk to Grady, see if he'll let
us take a look at the Winnebago.|
You ready for the photo shoot?|
|00:33:44||Okay, fellas, let's take it.|
|00:33:47||- Pull down your pants.
- Shut up, Farva, you idiot.|
|00:33:51||Come on, do it.|
|00:33:52||- John. I'm not interrupting, am I?|
|00:33:55||- No. Come in, come in.
- Good work, gentlemen,|
|00:33:58||all the way around.|
|00:34:00||- Could I get in on that?
- Sure. Why not?|
|00:34:04||- Excuse me. Good work.
Good work, Officer.|
|00:34:06||You're gonna have a hard time
shutting us down now,|
|00:34:08||right, Mr. Mayor?|
|00:34:09||We got a murder one day,
a drug bust the next.|
|00:34:12||I'm thinkin' we need
as much police as we can get.|
|00:34:15||- That'd be a good slogan, wouldn't it?
|00:34:17||Tell that to the budget committee.|
|00:34:19||I just got off the phone
with Governor Jessman...|
|00:34:22||and she's gonna be swinging through here|
|00:34:23||on her way to Burlington.|
|00:34:25||Give me a gun, huh,
to hold for the pictures.|
|00:34:28||- Rabbit, run. Gun.
- And, John...|
|00:34:32||as far as this brawling with
the local police is concerned--|
|00:34:34||It won't happen again, Bill.
I'm onto it.|
|00:34:39||'Cause when the governor
shows up, I'm gonna throw her|
|00:34:42||a little party.|
|00:34:45||We're gonna let her know
just how this community feels|
|00:34:49||about its law enforcement.|
|00:34:51||Spread it on!|
|00:34:56||Come on, Dad!
|00:34:58||- So what's the deal with you and Bobbi?|
|00:35:00||Come on, Dad!|
|00:35:01||You guys are goin' out, but you,
um, sleep with other people?|
|00:35:05||Well, I mean, yeah.
Not really. Kind of.|
|00:35:09||It's sort of a long story,
|00:35:12||Well--Hey, Arlo, does Mom
ever have any friends over?|
|00:35:17||- Any older boys?
- Can't we turn the siren on?|
|00:35:20||In a minute, all right?
Are you listening?|
|00:35:22||- Does she have anyone over
that maybe you call uncle?|
|00:35:25||Like Uncle Fred?|
Who's Uncle Fred?|
|00:35:28||He's this crazy bird on TV.|
|00:35:32||- He's crazy.
He flies around like a pigeon.|
|00:35:35||Uncle Freddy, he's great.
He's a crazy bird.|
|00:35:39||We got one.|
|00:35:42||You wanna take this one, kid?|
|00:35:44||- What about you?
- I gotta stay with little 'A.'|
|00:35:48||- You're okay, right?
|00:35:50||- Go on. Make mama proud.
- All right.|
|00:35:53||Yeah, Farva, I got a Porsche,
brown, Washington plates--|
- Roger. Checking.|
|00:36:07||- Kill it.|
|00:36:12||Can I please see your license and registra--|
|00:36:15||I'm sorry, Officer,
for the speeding violation.|
|00:36:19||I am so used to driving on the Autobahn.|
|00:36:36||- Do you know why I pulled you over?|
|00:36:39||We were driving way too fast.|
this is a major problem...|
|00:36:45||because I cannot afford another
ticket with mein Porsche.|
|00:36:48||Is there maybe something I can do for you, hmm?|
|00:36:52||Or maybe my wife...|
|00:36:53||could do for you to avoid this dilemma?|
|00:36:56||Is there maybe something
you would like me to do to you?|
|00:37:01||Or maybe something you would
like to do to me? Hmm?|
|00:37:05||Uh, 'cause you were doing 90 in a 65.|
|00:37:09||Perhaps some spanking or cuffing is in order.|
|00:37:13||Could you hold on a minute?
Just a minute. I'll be right back.|
|00:37:38||- Twenty-three, that Porsche is hot.
- Are you sure?|
|00:37:54||- Please, Thorn, not now. No.
- He can join too, if you like?|
|00:37:57||- Get over here.
- Tickle, tickle.|
- Hold on a second.|
|00:38:02||Just one second, huh?|
- Farva said that car is stolen.|
- Is there a problem, officers?|
|00:38:14||Hold on! Come on, Thorn,
I need this.|
|00:38:18||Look, kid, any other day,
I'd step in here|
|00:38:20||and show you how to swing.|
|00:38:21||But the car's stolen.|
|00:38:26||You got to get over there
and you got to cuff her.|
|00:38:28||- Do it!
You're a highway patrolman.|
|00:38:31||Cut it out! Do it.|
|00:38:34||- Now turn that off
and step out of the car, sir.|
|00:38:37||- This is no problem, hmm?
- Put your hands on the car|
|00:38:41||and spread 'em.|
|00:38:42||- Ah, now some fun for both of us.
- Get back in the car!|
|00:38:44||Rabbit, get over there and cuff her.|
|00:38:48||- Up against the car.
- Ma'am, I hate to do this|
|00:38:51||to you, but would you--|
|00:38:52||- would you please put
your hands behind your back?|
|00:38:54||Now things are getting kinky.|
|00:38:58||I love your--
- I'm on the radio.|
|00:39:00||Come in, Farva.|
|00:39:01||Arlo! Rabbit! Let's go!|
|00:39:07||Climb up on Uncle Rabbit's lap, Arlo, okay?|
|00:39:09||- I don't think that's such a good idea, Thorn.|
|00:39:12||Okay, why don't you just
sit in the middle, buddy?|
|00:39:20||Ursula, what the fuck?
There's no T.P. in the bathroom.|
|00:39:22||- What about the piece stuck to your shoe?|
|00:39:25||What about that piece?|
|00:39:29||You know, you might get ahead around here|
|00:39:31||if you made the extra effort.|
|00:39:33||- Do you want me to wipe your ass?|
|00:39:35||That's not what I--|
|00:39:37||Well, around my house,
my wife knows to refill the T.P.|
|00:39:41||- I'm not your wife, Smy.
- No. And if you were, I'd take|
|00:39:45||you down a peg or two.|
|00:39:49||Hi, douche bag.|
|00:39:53||- You know, if you were my wife...|
|00:39:56||I'd massage your feet every
night until you fell asleep.|
|00:40:01||He strangles her and puts her face in pig food?|
|00:40:04||What an asshole.
Got any I.D. on the corpse?|
|00:40:08||Yeah.'Jane Doe.' Do you know her?|
|00:40:11||Oh, we're working on it.|
|00:40:15||It's called routine police work.|
she had a cartoon monkey|
|00:40:19||tattooed on her back.|
|00:40:20||John Chimpo, I'm told.|
|00:40:28||And those cannabis bags in our truck...|
|00:40:30||those stickers had the same monkey logo.|
|00:40:32||So we think there might be
some kind of connection.|
|00:40:35||Are you suggesting that a cartoon monkey is|
|00:40:38||bringing drugs into our town?|
|00:40:40||- Look, I know we don't like each other.|
|00:40:43||I like you.|
|00:40:44||Come on! I'm looking
for a little cooperation here.|
|00:40:50||Hanson, could you round up,
uh, Johnny Chimpo...|
|00:40:54||and, uh, Jerry Giraffe and Arty the Alligator|
|00:40:57||and bring them in for a lineup.|
|00:40:59||- Thanks, sweetie.
- Sounds like they're having fun.|
|00:41:04||That's what happens when you start hanging out|
|00:41:05||with a state trooper.|
|00:41:06||We show you the funny.|
|00:41:09||Well, where were we?|
|00:41:11||Uh, you were laying your best rap on me|
|00:41:14||and I was resisting.|
|00:41:15||- But you were starting to think about it.|
|00:41:17||- I told you.
I don't touch highway hog.|
|00:41:20||Baby, I'm Sizzle Lean.|
|00:41:21||I scratched your back, Bruce.
I scratched it good and hard.|
|00:41:24||Now, either you scratch my back
or you're gonna get my size ten|
|00:41:28||boot up your ass!|
|00:41:29||Desperation is a stinky cologne, John.|
|00:41:33||Let's see. You are an expendable
line item on a state spending bill.|
|00:41:39||You have a station full of crappy cops.|
|00:41:41||I am about this far away
from having a bigger budget.|
|00:41:45||And now, you come in here talking about...|
|00:41:50||monkey tattoos on some
drunk lady's tit like it's|
|00:41:53||a goddamn drug conspiracy.|
|00:41:57||Keep your bags packed, John.
Let us handle the real|
|00:42:01||police work, huh?|
|00:42:02||Uh, John, when you do
get shut down, you come back,|
|00:42:05||talk to me.|
|00:42:06||I can always use a good meter maid.|
|00:42:20||Let it roll.|
|00:43:09||Come and get me, Mac.|
|00:43:47||- See you later, sucker!
- Ohh! Ohh! Fuck!|
|00:43:53||Can't catch the Rabbit.|
|00:44:07||- Damn it!
- Out of the car!|
|00:44:09||Out of the car, scumbag!|
|00:44:12||Well, hello, Shirley.|
|00:44:14||- Come on, Farva, man.
Same team. Same team.|
|00:44:18||What's Thorny going to say, Rook?|
I think it's gonna happen.|
|00:44:22||We don't want to leave.
We really like this town.|
|00:44:25||I'll probably just get
sent down to Brattleboro.|
|00:44:28||It's a nice town.|
|00:44:29||I don't think it's
a healthy time for him to move.|
|00:44:32||He's got a lot of real good friends here.|
|00:44:34||Who? That creepy kid with the lisp?|
|00:44:37||Hey. Stop jumping on the bed.|
|00:44:40||Look, I don't want to go without you.|
|00:44:43||- Then you should stay here.
- But I can't if they transfer me.|
|00:44:47||Hey, stop jumping on the bed.|
|00:44:53||Hey, honey, it's almost Mitternacht, huh?|
|00:44:56||Uhh. We really should
be getting back to the jail.|
|00:45:00||- You don't want us turning into pumpkins.|
|00:45:06||Thorn, can't they just stay a little longer?|
Who wants a mustache ride?|
|00:45:13||- I want one. I want one!
- I do! I do! I do!|
|00:45:21||- Spurbury Police.
- Oh, thank the Lord.|
|00:45:23||Thank the Lord. It's terrible.|
|00:45:24||Oh, there's a disgusting
pervert flashing people.|
|00:45:27||Ma'am, I need you to calm down.|
|00:45:29||I can't calm down!
You calm down! Oh, my God!|
|00:45:31||- Ma'am, tell me your location.
- He's right in front of the building...|
|00:45:35||on 323, uh, Karuna Street.|
|00:45:39||- That's this address, ma'am.
- Oh, well, then,|
|00:45:41||maybe you can see him.|
|00:45:42||He's right in front of the building.
Go look. I'll hold.|
|00:45:49||Did you see him?
Oh, he's disgusting.|
|00:45:51||- He certainly is, ma'am.
- Oh, I think he's going|
|00:45:55||to the window again.|
|00:45:59||Oh, the humanity!
He's so bulgy. He's like a moose.|
|00:46:04||Oh, no! I think he's going back again.|
|00:46:11||Oh, God! Please don't shoot me. I-I'm naked.|
|00:46:15||Drop your coat and grab your toes.|
- I'm gonna show you|
|00:46:20||where the wild goose goes.|
|00:46:22||Oh, this isn't happening.
I-I-I'm a police officer. Ursula, help!|
|00:46:26||Baby, I'm gonna butter your bread.|
|00:46:34||You don't have these at your station?|
|00:46:39||I don't suppose you got a pair of fresh|
|00:46:41||underwear I could borrow?|
|00:46:43||I'm not sure you could fit into my panties.|
|00:46:52||You know, you can't tell anybody about this.|
|00:46:55||- I already told my mom about you.|
- Baby, you rocked me.|
|00:47:23||Wow! What is this?|
|00:47:29||- Rabbit, you're off the road!
Shut up, Farva!|
|00:47:30||It's a good move, Cap.|
|00:47:31||Rabbit, you're on radio.
Farva, you're ridin' with Thorny.|
|00:47:34||- Wait a minute--
- What do you want me|
|00:47:36||to do about it?|
|00:47:37||My hands are tied!
It's all over the police band!|
|00:47:39||Rabbit, you couldn't have picked a worst time!|
|00:47:41||I got a Q-17 request form today.|
|00:47:44||We have to inventory our equipment.|
|00:47:47||Which means our balls are
this close to the band saw.|
|00:47:52||What are you sellin',
Mac, hot dogs?|
|00:47:55||- There's a new billboard.
- Casino le Fantastique?|
|00:47:58||Let me guess.|
|00:48:00||You just humped the mayor's wife
and burnt down City Hall.|
|00:48:03||I'll do you one better,
|00:48:06||So I'm walkin' down
by the local police station,|
|00:48:09||minding my own business.|
|00:48:10||But there's something funny in the air.|
|00:48:13||I feel like I just gotta
get into that Winnebago.|
|00:48:16||- So after I jimmy the door,
I do a quick recon.|
|00:48:19||I can see there's something
not right about that bed.|
|00:48:23||- So I busted it in.
|00:48:25||And just sittin' there
were ten huge duffel bags|
|00:48:28||of these mothers.|
|00:48:29||Let me get this straight.
You went into the impound,|
|00:48:33||scaled the fence...|
|00:48:34||broke into the Winnebago and smashed the bed,|
|00:48:38||all on a hunch?|
|00:48:39||I'll believe that when me shit
turns purple and smells like|
|00:48:43||What? Do you think I just grew this weed?|
|00:48:46||How could you know to look underneath the bed?|
|00:48:49||It must have been my sixth--
or even my seventh sense.|
|00:48:53||You know, Rabbit,
a good cop doesn't really|
|00:48:54||know why he does anything.|
|00:48:56||- Disregard that, Rabbit.
- And you didn't even think|
|00:48:59||to call in your partner?|
|00:49:00||So these local mothers have got a hundred keys|
|00:49:03||of chiba and don't know it?|
|00:49:04||Not a clue.
It's totally hidden.|
|00:49:07||And Grady's walkin' around like he's hot soup.|
|00:49:10||All right, we got a chance here.|
|00:49:12||But we got to beat these guys to the punch.|
|00:49:14||Mac, you and Foster
check out the truck stops...|
|00:49:17||and find out what you can
about Galikanokus and Bunty Soap.|
|00:49:20||I'll talk to Grady and play a little hardball.|
|00:49:23||Thorny, I'm takin' a hard line.|
|00:49:25||You got to promise me no more bullshit.|
|00:49:27||Cap, you know I'm cool,
but I can take no responsibility|
|00:49:30||for these white devils.|
|00:49:31||Well, you're gonna have to.|
|00:49:33||Now, Rodney, we're under
a lot of pressure here.|
|00:49:38||Remember what we talked about.
If anything happens...|
|00:49:40||count to ten,
take some deep breaths.|
|00:49:43||Ten deep breaths.
I got it, Cap.|
|00:49:45||Foster, youre on duty.|
|00:49:49||Trust me, skipper,
we'll make you proud.|
|00:49:53||You are awesome.|
|00:49:57||- You are incredible.
You are a fantastic cop.|
|00:50:02||Uh, and then somebody said,
I think it was O'Hagan, said, um...|
you deserve a promotion.'|
|00:50:08||Hmm. I think you get a star.|
|00:50:13||Mm. Foster? Wait.
I don't know if this is gonna work.|
|00:50:18||- This steering wheel is jabbing my ass.|
|00:50:37||In New York City, a guy
could pay ten bucks to watch|
|00:50:39||two cops have sex in a cage.|
|00:50:50||In our cruisers,
somebody has to let you out|
|00:50:53||of the back seat.|
|00:50:56||Oh, fuck it!|
|00:51:04||Do we look like the two dumbest guys|
|00:51:06||in the world to you?|
|00:51:07||Is that why you choose to treat us|
|00:51:09||with such disrespect?|
|00:51:10||Look, all I'm sayin', man,
is switch partners. It'll be fun.|
|00:51:13||- I don't think so.
- Come on, mix it up a bit.|
|00:51:17||Mm, no fuckin' way.|
|00:51:19||Come on, Mac,
you know you're always sayin'|
|00:51:21||how funny Foster smells.|
|00:51:23||- Oh, look out for Thorny,
master of psychology.|
|00:51:26||Do I really smell?|
|00:51:28||All right, assholes,
quit talkin' about me.|
|00:51:32||Lock and load, Ramathorn.
Let's kick some tail.|
|00:51:34||- We weren't talkin' about you,
you big idiot.|
|00:51:38||- Truck stop, huh?
- We gotta do it.|
|00:51:41||But the captain didn't say anything|
|00:51:42||about going undercover.|
|00:51:43||Do you think they're gonna tell us anything|
|00:51:45||if they know we're cops?|
|00:51:46||Get a job, man!
Look, you're fuckin' super cop.|
|00:51:49||You should know this.|
|00:51:50||- I am super.
- Plus, we can't take our car...|
|00:51:53||until they replace the door you,
for no reason whatsoever,|
|00:51:56||removed last night.|
|00:51:57||I told you it was those kids with the wrenches.|
|00:52:00||Ah, yes, those ballsy little punks
who took your car door off...|
|00:52:03||while you were sittin' in the damn thing.|
|00:52:05||I told you I was in a very deep sleep.|
|00:52:07||Yeah. You wanna tell that to O'Hagan? Maybe|
|00:52:10||we can borrow his car today.|
|00:52:15||Do you even know how to drive this thing?|
|00:52:36||Shit! This rig sucks!|
|00:52:48||Uh, who knew it was a stick?|
|00:53:02||How about we, uh,
pop a couple of Viagra...|
|00:53:05||and issue tickets
with raging, mega-huge boners?|
|00:53:09||Only you, Farva,
can make a dark man blush.|
|00:53:14||- And, no, we're not doin' it.
- Ah, hell.|
|00:53:17||- Hey, I came up with a great name for our car.|
You're Arcot Ramathorn--Ram--|
|00:53:25||and I'm Rod Farva--Rod; car Ramrod.|
|00:53:30||Car Ramrod. You get it?|
|00:53:32||Yeah, I got it.|
|00:53:36||- Rabbit, I got a Plymouth Voyager...|
|00:53:37||Say 'Car Ramrod.'|
|00:53:38||- Say 'Car Ramrod.'
- Vermont plates--Hold on.|
|00:53:47||- Check it.
|00:53:49||- You didn't say it.
I wrote it on the paper.|
|00:53:52||Oh, I forgot.|
|00:53:53||- Oh, yeah.
- Come on, Ramathorn,|
|00:53:55||what game are we playin'?|
|00:53:56||- What? No games.
- Don't bullshit me.|
|00:53:59||Let's play one of those games
I keep hearin' about.|
|00:54:01||You know, Mac and Foster...|
|00:54:03||did that thing, you know,
with the 'who can say|
|00:54:05||pussy the most.'|
|00:54:06||You know, actually,
Mac bet Foster he couldn't|
|00:54:09||say 'meow' ten times.|
|00:54:12||To the driver.|
|00:54:16||- I realize that doesn't
sound funny as I described--|
|00:54:18||Who can say 'meow' the most?|
|00:54:19||You guys are real crazy.|
|00:54:22||Hey, look out for these guys!|
|00:54:25||Hell, I can say 'meow.' I can say 'moo.'|
|00:54:29||For 20 bucks, I'll call the guy
|00:54:33||Easy, Rod. Easy, Rod.
Easy, Rod. Easy, Rod.|
|00:54:38||License and registration...
|00:54:46||- Bruce? John O'Hagan.
|00:54:48||I'm glad you called. Listen. I have
Bobby the Baboon in lockup...|
|00:54:52||and he says that for twenty bananas he'll|
|00:54:55||Johnny Chimpo is the pimp
in charge of the Cartoon|
|00:55:00||Look, I'm done dickin' around.
We got new evidence|
|00:55:02||on your murder.|
You know where he is?|
|00:55:06||- No, we don't know where he is, but--|
|00:55:09||Then I don't see how you can
possibly help us, then.|
|00:55:11||Okay. This is my last offer.|
|00:55:14||Either you let us in on this investigation...|
|00:55:16||or I'm gonna embarrass you personally.|
|00:55:19||Oh, how embarrassed?|
|00:55:21||Like, naked in a dream embarrassed?|
|00:55:23||No, no. Embarrassed like back
in '77, when you got caught|
|00:55:27||fuckin' your cousin embarrassed.|
|00:55:29||She's not my cousin.|
|00:55:38||Welcome to Dimpus.
Can I take your order?|
|00:55:40||Give me a, uh,
double bacon cheeseburger.|
|00:55:43||Double baco cheeseburger.
It's for a cop.|
- What the hell's that all about?|
|00:55:49||- He gonna spit in it now?
- No, I was just tellin' him|
|00:55:52||that so he makes it good.|
|00:55:54||Don't spit in that cop's burger.|
|00:55:57||- Yeah. Thanks.
- Roger. Hold the spit.|
|00:56:00||Give me a, uh, pie.
|00:56:03||Do you want me to hold the spit?|
|00:56:07||So, do you want to 'Dimpisize' your meal|
|00:56:10||for a quarter more?|
|00:56:11||Want me to 'punchisize' your face for free?|
|00:56:13||Some male figure?
I'm his dad. And stop with|
|00:56:16||the whole transfer thing.|
|00:56:19||You know what?
I gotta go. Let's talk|
|00:56:21||about this later, okay?|
|00:56:22||- Okay. Bye.|
|00:56:25||- Now don't give me any lip.
- It's just a quarter, and|
|00:56:28||look how much more you get.|
|00:56:29||- I said no!
- It's just 25 cents.|
|00:56:32||- Hey, listen, guy.
He doesn't want it.|
|00:56:34||I can handle this, Ramathorn.|
|00:56:36||- I don't want it!
- Right. Uh, beverage?|
|00:56:40||Gimme a, uh, liter of cola.|
|00:56:43||- A what?
- A liter of cola!|
|00:56:47||'Leederacola.' Do we make leederacola?|
|00:56:50||Will you just order a large, Farva?|
|00:56:52||I don't want a large Farva.
I want a goddamn liter of cola!|
|00:56:55||- I don't know what that is!
- Liter is French...|
|00:56:58||for'give me some fuckin' cola before I break|
|00:57:01||both fuckin' lips.'|
|00:57:02||All right, all right.
|00:57:07||- That look like spit to you?
|00:57:09||- That look like spit to you?
|00:57:11||Ah, fuck it.|
|00:57:14||Mm. I feel like a real cop again.|
|00:57:17||Well, I wouldn't get
used to it, 'cause you know|
|00:57:20||it's not gonna last.|
I'm not goin' anywhere.|
|00:57:23||All right, buddy.|
|00:57:25||We're about to get shut down anyway.|
That's a lot of'Dimp.'|
|00:57:30||- What do you do if you get transferred?|
|00:57:33||I don't know.|
|00:57:33||Bobbi doesn't want to leave, and...|
|00:57:35||I don't want to leave her and Arlo, so--|
|00:57:37||Yeah, I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do.|
|00:57:39||Who gives a shit?
I'm about to win ten million|
|00:57:41||bucks anyway, right?|
|00:57:42||Are ya? What are you going to do
with that ten million bucks?|
|00:57:44||And you can't say,
'Buy the Cleveland Cavaliers.'|
|00:57:47||- I'd buy a ten-million-dollar car.|
|00:57:49||Ah, good investment.|
|00:57:50||- But I'd pull you over.
- Bullshit. You could never catch me.|
|00:57:53||- Oh, I could never catch you?
- If you did, I'd activate my|
|00:57:56||car's wings, and fly away.|
|00:57:58||I got a good feelin' about this.|
|00:58:02||Damn it, you burger punk!|
|00:58:05||You son of a bitch!|
|00:58:23||Yeah, Burger Boy!|
|00:58:30||All right, all right, all right.|
|00:58:32||Cut it out, you guys.
Knock it off.|
|00:58:35||Clear out of here.
All of you.|
|00:58:46||I'm sorry about the delousing, Rod.|
|00:58:52||- It's powdered sugar.
- The lice hate the sugar.|
|00:58:56||- Listen, Rod--
- It's delicious.|
|00:58:59||Uh, good. Good.|
|00:59:02||Say, Rod, what are your plans
after the shutdown?|
|00:59:06||We're not gettin' shut down,
Grady. We're drug busters.|
|00:59:09||Maybe they're drug busters,
but you're dispatch.|
I'm back on the road, now.|
|00:59:15||Until this little incident.|
|00:59:20||This whole murder thing,
we've been tryin' real hard|
|00:59:23||to break it open...|
|00:59:25||but O'Hagan just will not
cooperate with the evidence.|
|00:59:29||Now I've spoken to the governor myself.|
|00:59:31||She is gonna shut your station down, son.|
|00:59:33||It's gonna happen.|
|00:59:34||Now, I'm gonna have a bigger budget then,|
|00:59:36||and I could really use...|
|00:59:38||a good local officer like yourself.|
|00:59:42||- Could I go now?
- You could have your own car.|
|00:59:45||Work on exciting cases.
Hey, we could even chase|
|00:59:48||drug dealers together.|
|00:59:49||Now, the thing is, Rod...|
|00:59:52||I really need to know about
your side of the investigation.|
|00:59:55||O'Hagan's making all kinds of threats, and--|
|01:00:00||Can we make a deal?|
|01:00:04||I'm all highway.|
|01:00:15||Let him loose.|
|01:00:20||Sorry about that, bro.|
|01:00:33||Hey, Charlie's Angel.|
|01:00:47||- What's up?
|01:00:52||Well, we got about, uh,
twenty desk lamps.|
|01:00:54||- Farva went schizoid.
- That's good.|
|01:00:58||- How did the undercover thing go?|
|01:01:00||Well, not so good.|
|01:01:01||- Turns out, this guy can't drive a semi.|
|01:01:05||You guys watch that Johnny Chimpo thing?|
|01:01:07||- Funny, but nothin' there.
- Mm. Maybe you missed something.|
|01:01:11||Mm, trust me, bro.
There's nothing there.|
|01:01:15||Maybe we should take another look.|
|01:01:50||- That's it, you're off the road. Never again.|
|01:01:53||- It was not my fault.
- Neither was the goddamn|
|01:01:56||You know, there was a time
we'd take a guy like you|
|01:01:58||out back and beat you.|
|01:01:59||- Now you got your goddamn unions.|
|01:02:01||I'm not a pro-union guy.|
|01:02:02||- And you're banned from Dimpus Burger.|
|01:02:07||Get some rubber gloves.
From now on,|
|01:02:09||you're my cleaning lady.|
|01:02:14||Well, the butler is basically
saying to Johannes Chimpo...|
|01:02:18||'Don't let the Great Satan tempt
you with the Western culture.|
|01:02:21||You must remain true to the Taliban warlord.'|
|01:02:25||- Cool beans.|
|01:02:34||So, um, Galikanokus is not the butler?|
|01:02:37||Well, possibly. But this is,
uh, quite brilliant, really.|
|01:02:42||And so, Captain, you think
there might be some connection|
|01:02:45||with the smugglers?|
|01:02:46||Rabbit, get this meatball out of here.|
|01:02:49||You got it, Captain.
Come on, meatball.|
|01:02:51||We should probably do that.|
|01:02:54||Back in the cage with your beautiful wife, huh?|
|01:02:59||- What did you find out at the weigh station?|
|01:03:02||My cruiser weighs 16,000 kg.|
|01:03:06||I just got off the phone with Tom McCardle from|
|01:03:08||the budget committee.|
|01:03:09||- This thing with Farva screwed our pooch.|
|01:03:11||They can't lump us in
with that fuckin' Martian.|
|01:03:14||- We're all in the same boat.
- But our shenanigans are|
|01:03:17||cheeky and fun.|
|01:03:18||Yeah. His shenanigans are cruel and tragic.|
|01:03:21||- Which makes them not
shenanigans at all, really.|
|01:03:26||I swear to God I'll pistol-whip the next guy|
|01:03:29||that says, 'shenanigans.'|
|01:03:33||What's the name of that
restaurant you like, with|
|01:03:35||all the goofy shit on the walls...|
|01:03:37||- and the mozzarella sticks?
- You mean Shenanigans?|
|01:03:40||- No! Oh!
- You're talking about|
|01:03:43||Put those away!|
|01:03:49||- Hey, Rabbit.
- Yeah, I know.'You got|
|01:03:52||beautiful, big brown lips.'|
|01:03:55||Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.|
|01:03:57||Have your fun, boys.
Have your fun.|
|01:04:00||'Cause I'm gonna start
looking for for a new job.|
|01:04:16||Hey! Urs! Ha!|
- Hi. Sorry I'm late.|
|01:04:24||- The mayor came down today.|
|01:04:29||Ah, biker! I'm an idiot.|
|01:04:33||Boy, you guys just keep
shooting yourselves in the foot.|
|01:04:37||- Heard you got to see Farva naked.
- Yeah, it was hard to miss.|
|01:04:42||So, Grady thinks he's
got you guys by the balls.|
|01:04:44||Yeah. How do you feel about
|01:04:47||Think I'm getting sent to Deer Lick.|
|01:04:49||Well, I've been thinking about this.|
|01:04:51||I think I might have an idea.|
|01:04:55||The governor comes to town on
Saturday for that big thing, right?|
|01:04:58||She's gonna make a big speech
about drugs and law enforcement...|
|01:05:01||- and all of that because of your bust.|
|01:05:03||She's gonna shut us down.|
|01:05:05||No! Not if you give her more.|
|01:05:07||Get the reefer out of the Winnebago and give it|
|01:05:10||to her during the party.|
|01:05:12||- Make a big show of it.
- With all that media there,|
|01:05:15||she would love us for it.|
|01:05:16||- No way she'll shut you down.
- That reefer's locked|
|01:05:19||in the Winnebago...|
|01:05:20||which is locked in your impound,
which is guarded by assholes.|
Here's what I'll need.|
|01:05:29||Five ski masks, a case
of smoke bombs--the good ones--|
|01:05:32||- and banana peels, lots of banana--
|01:05:35||- How about if I just help you get in?|
|01:05:38||You would do that for me?|
|01:05:39||Yeah. What the hell.
We'll work together.|
|01:05:43||- Like Cagney and Lacey.|
|01:05:45||Yeah. Well, Cagney and Lacey were women.|
- I could be Lacey.|
|01:06:01||- So that's it, huh?
- C.C.S. Rockman Bulletproofing|
|01:06:05||is the tops!|
|01:06:06||Same guys who make our flak jackets.|
a good cop does what...|
|01:06:12||before using his equipment in the field?|
|01:06:14||- Uh, they test it?
- They test it. Exactly.|
|01:06:19||How are you shootin' today, Thorn?|
|01:06:23||- Dead on all morning.
- How about|
|01:06:25||that little fella?|
|01:06:26||Oh, that little guy? I wouldn't
worry about that little guy.|
|01:06:29||- Good enough for me.
You're my man, now.|
|01:06:36||I don't get it.
How are we going to get|
|01:06:38||into the local impound?|
|01:06:39||There are gonna be cops there.|
|01:06:43||Most of the local cops will probably already|
|01:06:45||be at the banquet.|
|01:06:46||They'll leave, like,
one or two of the dumbest|
|01:06:49||guys at the station.|
|01:06:50||- How are you feelin' there, Mac?
|01:06:53||enough to fuck your mother!|
|01:06:55||So, what we have to do is distract whoever|
|01:06:57||they leave there.|
|01:06:58||Hey, Mac! You still have
that Halloween costume?|
|01:07:01||Oh, hell, yeah.
You don't throw out--|
|01:07:05||Damn, that's good!|
|01:07:09||So, if we can get ten minutes, you and I|
|01:07:11||can get into the impound...|
|01:07:12||get the reefer,
and get it to the governor|
|01:07:14||before she leaves?|
|01:07:15||- Nice and easy.
- I like it.|
|01:07:18||- You're up.
|01:07:20||- Now, don't get puke on it.
- Does it hurt?|
|01:07:22||You're gonna feel a little pinch.|
|01:07:24||Lookin' good, Rabbit!
Now don't move!|
|01:07:27||- Hang on, buddy.
- Hey, Cap!|
|01:07:29||- Hey, Captain.
- Bulletproof cup, huh?|
|01:07:33||I invented this gag, Rabbit.|
|01:07:37||- Only in my day,
the rookie got naked.|
|01:07:39||Whoa, whoa, whoa!|
|01:07:45||And we also used blanks.|
|01:07:49||You're a sick motherfucker, Mac.|
|01:07:51||- Thanks, Chief.
- All right, Thorny.|
|01:07:54||Why'd you call me up here?|
|01:08:03||Good to know you're still battin' for us with|
|01:08:05||the budget committee, Mayor.|
|01:08:06||Well, I don't want to mince words, John, but|
|01:08:08||it doesn't look too good.|
|01:08:09||Maybe not to the untrained eye.|
|01:08:12||But if I was a bettin' man,
I'd put money on us changin'|
|01:08:15||the governor's mind tonight.|
|01:08:16||Well, you might want to
strap on your ass-kissing boots|
|01:08:20||and start right now.|
|01:08:21||- I think she's your only hope.
|01:08:24||What is this thing again?
|01:08:26||- Uh, it's a drug bust.
- Uh, marijuana.|
|01:08:33||- Then why are we here?
- Oh, I think we're pretty|
|01:08:36||well covered, Mr. Mayor.|
|01:08:37||I think she's got a lot of decisions to make.|
|01:08:39||- I don't envy her.
- Oh, I do.|
|01:08:41||I'll be lucky to have a figure
like that when I'm her age.|
|01:08:44||- Yeah. That's a good one.|
|01:08:50||- We're sending someone down,
don't worry. Okay.|
|01:08:52||Thanks. You bet.|
|01:08:53||- No, no, no, no.
We'll bring the guns.|
|01:08:55||We're on it. We're on it.|
|01:08:56||We got it. All right,
that's like twenty calls.|
|01:08:59||I'll tell you what. I'll go down there
and check it out.|
|01:09:02||- What about me?
- Burton, somebody's|
|01:09:04||got to stay here.|
|01:09:07||All right, fuck it.|
|01:09:30||Maybe this is the key.|
|01:09:33||- I mean, no offense, bro, but...|
|01:09:36||when did you become a cop?|
|01:09:38||None taken, Ramathorn.
|01:09:40||- Really. How'd you know the key was there?|
|01:09:42||A gentleman never asks.|
|01:09:44||A lady never tells.
Wonder how Rabbit's doin'?|
|01:09:50||- Yeah! Yeah!
- What does that look like to you?|
|01:09:56||- Is the bear--|
|01:10:01||- Is the guy--
- Oh, yeah. Yeah!|
|01:10:02||- Is the guy--
- Oh, yeah. Yeah!|
|01:10:04||Seems more of a game warden thing to me.|
|01:10:07||- Well, it's illegal, Burton.
I know that!|
|01:10:19||Oh, shit. Look who's here.|
|01:10:21||I thought you said he wasn't gonna make it.|
|01:10:23||- Glad to see you, Rodney.
- Hey, how are you doin', Rowdy?|
|01:10:26||- How you think I'm doin'?
Open bar, ain't it?|
|01:10:29||- Thought you said Bowl-a-rama.
- Yeah, I tried to call you,|
|01:10:35||- Give me six Schlitzes.
- No Schlitz.|
|01:10:37||- Whatever's free.
- Take it easy, Rod.|
|01:10:41||Open bar, dude!|
|01:10:56||Hello down there.
Are you okay?|
- Yeah! Yeah!|
|01:11:08||- Do you need assistance?
- Oh! Oh! Oh, yeah.|
|01:11:16||Let's do this.|
|01:11:21||Hey, hey, whoa! Whoa!|
|01:11:26||Mayor Timber, yeah. So I just
wanted to let you know...|
|01:11:30||that the governor's gonna have to leave early.|
|01:11:32||For an emergency fund-raiser.
|01:11:35||Aw, she's gonna speak in about five minutes.|
|01:11:37||And then we're gonna
have to zip on out of here.|
|01:11:40||Well, thanks for the heads-up.|
|01:11:42||I'll go check on those guys.|
Wanna go punch for punch?|
I did not specify.|
|01:11:53||Never shit a shitter. Lady
in blue, comin' through.|
|01:12:01||What? I don't know.
|01:12:07||* Yeah, yeah *|
|01:12:15||* Well, I got a ticket to ride this rocket *|
|01:12:18||* Whoo, sixteen ounces in my back pocket *|
|01:12:23||* Well, come on, baby, won't you
take a little taste *|
|01:12:25||* 'Cause we're about to get on
into outer space *|
|01:12:27||* I got a ticket to ride on that rocket *|
|01:12:44||You weren't kiddin'.
That's a lot of hooch!|
|01:12:47||* Whoo-hoo Yeah, hoo-hoo *|
What's Grady doin' up there?|
|01:13:05||...and of course, your own local
police chief, Bruce Grady...|
|01:13:09||has made yet another
|01:13:13||in our state's War on Drugs.|
|01:13:17||- That's fine police work.|
|01:13:21||Thank you very much.
The real credit...|
|01:13:24||goes to my skilled officers,
who uncovered the marijuana|
|01:13:27||in that Winnebago.|
|01:13:28||And, uh, we have identified the dead woman|
|01:13:30||from that Winnebago...|
|01:13:32||as a drug 'queenpin'
from Louisville, Kentucky--|
|01:13:37||Or, as we like to call her down at the station,|
|01:13:40||'The Louisville Smuggler.'|
|01:13:45||There will be no more running of marijuana...|
|01:13:47||through Spurbury on my watch.|
|01:13:49||- You can count on that.|
|01:13:59||Farva's number one!
Farva's number one!|
|01:14:03||Hey! You showed Grady our secret stash?|
|01:14:06||That was our stash!|
|01:14:08||- I did not show Grady the stash!
- Those bags of grass...|
|01:14:10||- represented a-a bond of trust between us.|
|01:14:12||- Foster, I had no idea--
- Did you pick me because|
|01:14:14||you could manipulate me?|
|01:14:16||No! How could you even say that?|
|01:14:19||- Because you crapped on my heart!|
|01:14:21||I what on your heart?|
|01:14:22||What are you gettin' out of this? Is Grady|
|01:14:25||puttin' you on the road?|
|01:14:27||No, a-are you-- You're screwing him too.|
|01:14:45||- Oh, Mac.
- What the fuck?|
|01:14:53||Hey, Mac! Did it work?
Did it work?|
|01:15:03||Was there ever a moment when you suspected her?|
|01:15:06||- No, why would I?
|01:15:08||Why use your head when you can be getting some|
|01:15:11||Well, did you tell her anything?|
|01:15:13||Two cops sleeping together.
What the hell do you think|
|01:15:15||they talked about?|
|01:15:15||I don't know. Doin' it?
Positions and stuff?|
|01:15:17||Oh, shut up.
You guys don't even know her.|
|01:15:20||- Get it through your head,
fish dick. She was in on it.|
|01:15:21||Fuck you, Mac!|
|01:15:22||All right, all right.
Fighting's not gonna|
|01:15:25||Foster, she played you good.
It's called the honey pot.|
|01:15:27||You should have known better.|
|01:15:28||Well, I guess they're gonna
shut us down anyway.|
|01:15:33||But you two are friends,
you know? You shouldn't|
|01:15:35||let this come between you.|
|01:15:36||Come on now.
- You should be.|
|01:15:45||- Good, now.
Who wants a shot?|
|01:15:48||- I'll have one.
- I said, who wants a shot?|
|01:15:50||- I do!
- Do you have any openings|
|01:15:52||in Sherburne, Cap?|
|01:15:53||Not for you guys.
- Oh, come on.|
|01:15:56||- We're like the sons you never had.
- If you were my son, Mac...|
|01:15:59||I would have smothered you by now.|
|01:16:01||Smothered me in gravy,
you big, dirty man.|
|01:16:05||- You put in for a transfer yet?
|01:16:07||I applied for a guard job.
At the post office.|
- You'll finally get to shoot someone.|
|01:16:19||- To the death of fun.
- Here's to you guys.|
|01:16:28||What's up, dirty dogs?|
|01:16:31||Guess that's it for the old locker.|
|01:16:34||She stinks like ass,
but I'll sure miss her.|
|01:16:36||I guess you can say that about all my girls.|
|01:16:38||- What the fuck?
- What the fuck to you too.|
|01:16:42||- What are you?
- I'm a cop. What are you?|
|01:16:46||- A local cop?
- Grady had an opening. Big deal.|
|01:16:49||Why are you wearing that uniform in my station?|
|01:16:52||Look who's talkin', Denim Dan!|
|01:16:54||You look like the president,
chairman and C.E.O.|
|01:16:57||of Levi Strauss.|
|01:16:58||Where'd you get the Canadian tuxedo?|
|01:17:00||You ratted us out to Grady.|
|01:17:03||I'm not even gonna dignify
myself with a response to that.|
|01:17:07||Hey, I got no hard feelings.
Nothin' a few beers|
|01:17:09||can't fix, right?|
|01:17:10||Hey, how about one on me, Ramrod?|
Uh, excuse me, guys.|
|01:17:17||Yeah. I'll be right back.|
|01:17:19||- What the fuck?
- We should have taken him|
|01:17:23||out the back and shot him.|
|01:17:25||- Aye, aye, Captain.
- I gotta call Ursula.|
|01:17:27||Fellas, we got to get him back.
He's gotta pay for this.|
|01:17:30||- Nobody wears that uniform in my station.|
|01:17:32||- Farva's goin' down!
- Yes! Right!|
|01:17:34||- Grady's goin' down!
|01:17:36||- All of these fuckers are goin' down!|
|01:17:59||Welcome to Dimpus Burger.
May I take your order?|
|01:18:02||Hello in there.
This is Officer Rod Farva.|
|01:18:05||- Give me a liter of cola!
- Uh, sorry, Officer Farva, I can't--|
|01:18:10||You want me to come in there, boy?
I'll come in there!|
- Chase him! Chase him!|
|01:18:16||- Let's pull someone over.|
|01:18:26||License and registration.|
|01:18:43||When you gotta go,
you gotta go.|
|01:18:49||We are the Spurbury police!|
|01:19:08||I'm cool. I'm cool.|
|01:19:13||Grady! Get your ass out here!|
- I don't want to sound|
|01:19:23||like a wienie...|
|01:19:24||- but I think I should call Ursula.
- No way!|
|01:19:26||- You sound like a fuckin' wienie.
- Gimme the radio.|
|01:19:31||Fuck it, all right.
Gimme the goddamn radio.|
|01:19:33||- He's not home!
- Hey, Chief-o!|
|01:19:37||This is Officer Rod Farva.
Come in, Ursula.|
|01:19:40||- What're you doin'?
- Ursula! I love you, Ursula.|
|01:19:43||- Come in, Ursula!
- Who is this? Hello?|
|01:19:46||- Oh! Oh!
- Oh, she's there?|
|01:19:48||Ursula! Oh, I'm sorry.|
|01:19:51||Sir, this is a police channel.
Please get off of it.|
|01:19:53||- I'm tryin' to apologize here.
- Sir, this is not a civilian channel.|
|01:19:58||If you'd like to have
a conversation with someone,|
|01:20:00||please go to Channel Five.|
|01:20:01||All right, Thorny.
Pop it over to Channel Five.|
|01:20:04||Look what I found!
|01:20:08||- You go, girl!
|01:20:09||- Help me out here, Rabbit.
- Foster, is that you?|
|01:20:11||I need someone sober.
- You got it, Cap.|
|01:20:14||- And, hit!
- My ass in your face, Thorny.|
|01:20:18||- So-So, hey, what's goin' on?|
|01:20:22||Don't use that boyfriend voice with me.|
|01:20:24||What are you doing?|
|01:20:25||Don't use that boyfriend voice with me, Foster!|
|01:20:29||Now, did you know that Farva
was the one who told Grady|
|01:20:33||about our plans?|
|01:20:34||- Yeah. I know.
He's working for us now.|
|01:20:38||So, I'm sorry.|
|01:20:39||- I don't know.
Can I come see you?|
|01:20:42||I love you.|
|01:20:43||- Listen, Foster--
- Ursula! I'm naked!|
|01:20:48||Listen, Foster? You want
to get these guys back?|
- I know a way we can|
|01:20:54||get 'em really good.|
|01:20:56||- Yeah, let's get 'em good!
Did you hear that, guys?|
|01:20:59||Okay, I get off work at 10:30.|
|01:21:02||Meet me at Route 9 and Okeechobee Road,|
|01:21:03||and don't be late.|
|01:21:04||- She said, 'Okeechobee.'
- She's okey-dokey.|
|01:21:19||- is this your usual meeting spot?|
|01:21:26||- Fuckin' shit!
- That was Galikanokus!|
|01:21:28||- Let's get him!|
|01:21:38||Outta the car!
|01:21:40||Same shit, different day,
|01:21:43||Everybody outta the car!
I said now!|
|01:21:46||You're all under arrest for stealing a Spurbury|
|01:21:49||No, Farva, you are under
arrest for being a total|
|01:21:52||and complete fuckhead!|
|01:21:53||Y-You don't want to do this, Rod. We gotta go|
|01:21:56||catch that truck.|
Super Citizen power?|
|01:22:00||Galikanokus is on that truck!|
|01:22:02||I'll believe that when me shit turns purple...|
|01:22:05||- and smells like rainbow sherbet.
- Does it sound like that when I say it?|
|01:22:08||Farva! You are not stopping me
from getting my job back!|
|01:22:12||- Get him, Mac!|
|01:22:15||- I got a job now.
- You're a local cop.|
|01:22:18||- You're goddamn right I am!
- You ratted us out!|
I barely had a job before.|
|01:22:25||Farva, get the coffee.
Farva, hit the radio.|
|01:22:28||Farva, clean the cells!
I'm a cop, goddamn it!|
|01:22:32||I got my own car, now.
I get to bust criminals!|
|01:22:36||It's what I gotta do!|
|01:22:38||- You screwed us over.
- No, Thorny.|
|01:22:43||Okay. Okay, I did!
I did, I did.|
|01:22:47||- I'm sorry, Rodney.
- Come on, Rod.|
|01:22:48||- Oh, Thorny!
- No, no, no. Please. Come on.|
|01:22:51||- Listen, listen.
This is your big chance.|
|01:22:54||When we go up there,
and we're wrong, no big deal.|
|01:22:59||But if we're right,
you can be a hero.|
|01:23:03||Come on. Team Ramrod!|
|01:23:10||Will you look at that?|
|01:23:13||- We got 'em, Cap.
- We got 'em, we got 'em!|
- Fuckin' Galikanokus!|
|01:23:21||There's Canadian markings on that plane.|
You and Rabbit come around|
|01:23:25||in a classic pincer move.|
|01:23:27||- Mac, I need you to take--
- No, no, no, Thorny. Me and you!|
|01:23:30||We outflank 'em, and we do,
like, a submarine move.|
|01:23:33||- Team Ramrod?
- Shut up, Farva.|
|01:23:36||- Farva, you're leaning--
- Wait a minute!|
|01:23:38||Oh! The locals!
I hate those fuckin' guys!|
|01:23:42||Goddamn it, you dipshits!
If I had my car, I'd have|
|01:23:45||been in on this bust!|
|01:23:46||Shh! Rodney! Rodney,
get your ass back here!|
|01:23:50||Here we go again-- What the fuck?|
|01:23:54||- Oh, did you see that?
He kissed that guy!|
|01:24:02||God! We should have known.|
|01:24:05||So, wait. The local cops are selling
Afghani grass to the Canadians?|
- No, Rabbit,|
|01:24:11||it's comin' in from Canada.|
|01:24:12||Canadian grass. Ah!|
|01:24:17||The local mothers are
running protection for' em.|
|01:24:21||Oh, I guess I'm the asshole.|
|01:24:25||I'm sorry we didn't wait for you, but--|
|01:24:27||Listen to me, Foster.
I need to tell you something.|
|01:24:31||- What, are you guys drunk?
|01:24:35||- Your local buddies are runnin' grass!
- Listen, I know.|
|01:24:37||- I know what they're doing.
I've known for awhile.|
|01:24:41||You know this?|
|01:24:42||Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Are you in on it?|
|01:24:44||No! They keep me on dispatch.
I didn't know what to do|
|01:24:47||when I found out about it.|
|01:24:48||- I was afraid I'd lose my job.
|01:24:51||You should have just told us.
We would have arrested them.|
|01:24:53||- Yeah, we used to be cops,
but the less you guys knew,|
|01:24:58||the less you could screw up.|
- I was trying to stop it|
|01:25:01||without getting brought down.|
|01:25:03||Th-That's why I helped you find
the reefer, that's why I helped|
|01:25:05||you guys steal the Winnebago...|
|01:25:06||and that's why I brought you...here tonight.|
- You didn't do this because|
|01:25:11||you like Foster? Shh!|
|01:25:12||No, I mean-- I do like Foster, but I--|
|01:25:14||- But you used him.
- Yeah, I guess so.|
|01:25:17||But I really like him now.|
|01:25:20||- This is so good--
- This is kind of awkward.|
|01:25:24||I hate to break up the 'like-fest,'
but it's prime time for crime-time!|
|01:25:30||But wait! Hey, hey, hey!
Are you guys kidding?|
|01:25:32||Look at yourselves.|
|01:25:33||You saw what they did to
|01:25:36||And you guys are drunk,
|01:25:37||- Oh, hey, I am sober as a bird.|
|01:25:40||I am drunk.|
|01:25:49||- What do you got?
- No guns. They got flares.|
|01:25:53||And some string.|
you sad, lonely man.|
- Oh, wait. He's got|
|01:26:08||your name written on it.|
|01:26:12||- Chief!. Chief Grady!
I secured the perimeter, sir.|
|01:26:16||Sorry I missed the call.
Looks like we got 'em. Rock'n' roll!|
|01:26:20||What the hell are you doin' here, Farva?|
|01:26:23||Put that pistol down!|
|01:26:24||- Qu'est-ce-que c'est ca?
- Put a bullet in him, Grady.|
|01:26:28||What the fuck is this?|
- Shit, what the fuck is this?|
|01:26:46||- That's my car.
|01:26:49||- That's my girl!
|01:26:51||Smy, Burton, check that out.|
|01:27:01||- What are ya, drunk?
- Drunk enough to kick your ass.|
|01:27:05||Let's see what you've got, O'Hagan.|
|01:27:10||- * Big Bear *
- * His hide is tough *|
|01:27:13||- * Big Bear *
- * He looks like a rug*|
|01:27:15||- * Big Bear *
- * He don't take no guff|
|01:27:17||He's Big Bear *|
|01:27:47||Two-time Navy champion.
Tag 'im and bag 'im!|
|01:27:53||- Way to go, Cap.
- Give my regards to Bobby Baboon.|
|01:27:59||* Oh, Big Bear *|
|01:28:00||* Oh, Big Bear *|
|01:28:03||Hey, hey, hey, hey.
You haven't opened it yet, have ya?|
|01:28:08||- How are ya doin'?
- Hey, man. Hey, buddy.|
|01:28:13||- Hi, John.
- Hi, darlin'.|
|01:28:15||Here we go.|
|01:28:20||'Congratulations are due to you...|
|01:28:23||'and your men for your brave, impressive...|
|01:28:27||'but most of all unorthodox tactics...|
|01:28:30||'in thwarting the drug-smuggling ring...|
|01:28:32||and extreme police corruption.'|
|01:28:35||- Ooh. She loves us.
- All right.|
|01:28:38||'I cannot stress enough how proud
we at the statehouse are of you.|
|01:28:41||'The great state of Vermont could
use more officers like your men.|
|01:28:45||'As you requested, we have
reevaluated the financial situation...|
|01:28:49||regarding your unit.'|
|01:28:51||- And we're gonna buy you a tank.|
|01:28:54||'Due to our tight fiscal situation...|
|01:28:58||'we regret to inform you that we are still...|
|01:29:01||'going to have to close your station.|
|01:29:05||'Good luck in Sherburne, John.|
|01:29:09||'And give your men my best.|
|01:29:20||I did not see that coming.|
|01:29:46||I told you to bring the handcart.|
- Tilt it.|
|01:29:53||Oh, goddamn, I remember
these things being lighter!|
|01:29:56||I think I'm gonna drop a nut!|
- Hope they like foam.|
|01:30:01||It's not so bad. Good exercise.|
|01:30:05||- Cool uniforms.
- Yeah. All the beer you can drink.|
|01:30:08||I'm into that!|
|01:30:17||- Oh, God.
- You order the keg of St. Anky?|
|01:30:23||But aren't you guys the Highway Patrol?|
|01:30:26||Yeah, but our station got shut down, so--|
|01:30:28||Oh, no shit, man!|
This your keg?|
|01:30:33||Oh, my-my Dad ordered it.
But he's asleep right now.|
|01:30:41||Oh, St. Anky's.|
|01:30:45||- Oh, God. No!
- No, no, no!|
|01:30:47||Hey, man. Hey, bro.
It's cool, man. They got fired!|
|01:30:53||No shit, man!|
|01:30:57||- All right, all right.
Where's the keg go?|
|01:31:00||Put it in the rec room, man.|
|01:31:03||Make room, make room.
What took you guys|
|01:31:05||so long to get here?|
|01:31:06||What'd you do?
Brew it yourself?|
|01:31:08||- I am cool.
- You're cool, man.|
|01:31:11||Check this out.
Um, why don't you guys|
|01:31:13||put that, um...|
|01:31:19||- Move it, move it, move it.
- We want a drink! Come on.|
|01:31:22||Tap this thing!|
|01:31:25||Actually, you know what?
I think it's better...|
|01:31:28||Feng Shui if it's, uh,
|01:31:31||Definitely. Definitely better over there.|
|01:31:40||Oh, wait, wait. Guys. Guys.
You know what?|
|01:31:43||Man, it's probably better for the flow...|
|01:31:45||if you put it back over here.|
|01:31:52||And don't forget to tap that keg, guys.|
|01:31:57||Okay, okay. Somebody's
gonna need to sign for this...|
|01:31:59||and I need to see some I.D.|
|01:32:03||Look, you know what?
I don't have any I.D.|
|01:32:06||But, uh, Abraham Lincoln
here, he says that I'm 21...|
|01:32:11||and he never told a lie.|
|01:32:14||Yeah, actually it was George Washington that|
|01:32:17||never told a lie.|
|01:32:18||You guys drive a hard bargain, but--|
|01:32:21||Actually, you know what?|
|01:32:24||Why don't you guys split it?|
|01:32:27||That was good, man.|
|01:32:30||- Are you ready for the fun part?|
|01:32:33||'Cause here comes
the fun part: Spurbury Police!|
|01:32:36||You're all under arrest!|
|01:32:42||- Come on back, now.
- Oh, yeah.|
|01:32:55||All this for a noise complaint?|
|01:32:59||I love acid--|
|01:33:08||What the crap?
How come nobody called me?|
|01:33:13||- We're in trouble, aren't we?
- Oh, yeah.|
|01:33:15||You're in big trouble.|
|01:33:17||- We're in trouble, aren't we?
- Oh, yeah.|
|01:33:20||You're in big trouble.|
|01:33:23||And if you really want to
choke somebody, you gotta|
|01:33:25||hit the Adam's apple.|
|01:33:26||- Like this?|
|01:33:39||* So call off the party quick *|
|01:33:42||* Find a replacement *|
|01:33:58||* Get your pink slip Quit your downtown *|
|01:34:34||* Let's face it *|
|01:34:39||* Get your pink slip Get your pink slip *|
|01:34:41||* Get your pink slip Get your pink slip *|
|01:34:45||* Won't you get a job Won't you get a job *|
|01:34:48||* Don't be a fuckin' slob *|
|01:35:32||* Yeah *|
|01:35:42||* Yeah *|
|01:35:48||* Get your pink slip *|
|01:35:51||* Get your pink slip *|
|01:35:55||* Quit your day job *|
|01:35:58||* Quit your day job *|
|01:36:00||* Quit your day job *|
|01:36:51||* In the black and blue light *|
|01:36:53||* Now he's readin' your rights *|
|01:36:56||* He's a mean dog barkin'
in the dust and the dark *|
|01:36:59||* In the middle of the night *|
|01:37:02||* Ain't no better you can do *|
|01:37:05||* After all I'm through
A trooper with an attitude *|
|01:37:16||* A trooper with an attitude *|
|01:37:23||* Said you're pumpin' that light
You'll never beat it in time *|
|01:37:28||* And he laughs in your face
So you feel the disgrace *|
|01:37:31||* Now you're spreadin' 'em wide *|
|01:37:34||* Did you walk clean comin' through *|
|01:37:37||* You got troubles I'm sure
A trooper with an attitude *|
|01:38:09||* So he tried to make it clear *|
|01:38:11||* You're wishin' you weren't here *|
|01:38:14||* You don't try to make a go It's all on video|
|01:38:18||And they're sellin' the beer *|
|01:38:20||* The work's still comin' true *|
|01:38:23||* You got troubles I'm sure
A trooper with an attitude *|
|01:38:49||Get out of the car.|
|01:39:11||I'm talkin' to you.|
|01:40:03||- Ah-ha-ha-ha! - I think we got it.|
|01:40:12||subtitle edited by rogard|