Swingers

00:00:10No way.
00:00:32You're nobody 'til somebody loves you
00:00:40You're nobody 'til somebody cares
00:00:47You may be king You may possess the world
00:00:53And its gold
00:00:56But gold won't bring you happiness
00:00:59When you're growin' old
00:01:03The world still is the same
00:01:06You never change it
00:01:11As sure as the stars
00:01:14Shine above
00:01:17You're nobody 'til somebody loves you
00:01:25So find yourself somebody to love
00:02:03The world still is the same
00:02:06You never change it
00:02:10As sure as the stars
00:02:14Shine above
00:02:18But you're nobody 'til somebody loves you
00:02:25So find yourself somebody to love
00:02:37- Okay, so what if I don't want to give up on her? - You don't call.
00:02:41- You said I don't call if I wanted to give up on her. - Right.
00:02:44- So I don't call either way. - Right.
00:02:47- So what's the difference? - There is no difference right now.
00:02:51See, Mike, the only difference between giving up and not giving up...
00:02:54is if you take her back when she wants to come back.
00:02:57But you can't do anything to make her want to come back.
00:03:00In fact, you can only do stuff to make her not want to come back.
00:03:03So the only difference is if I forget about her or just pretend to forget about her.
00:03:07- Right. - Well, that sucks.
00:03:10Yeah, it sucks.
00:03:12So it's like a retroactive decision then? I mean, I could, like, forget about her.
00:03:17And then when she comes back, make like I just pretended to forget about her?
00:03:21Right, although probably more likely the opposite.
00:03:25What do you mean?
00:03:27I mean, at first you're gonna pretend to forget about her.
00:03:30Not call her, I don't know, whatever.
00:03:32But then, eventually, you really will forget about her.
00:03:35- Well, unless she comes back first. - Mm, see, that's the thing.
00:03:38Somehow they know not to come back until you really forget.
00:03:45- There's the rub. - There's the rub.
00:03:50Look, man, uh, I-I'm sorry we always talk about the same thing all the time.
00:03:56- Ah, no, it's all right. - It's just that, you know... It's just you been there, man.
00:03:59- Don't sweat it. - Your advice really helps. And I just, I don't know...
00:04:01You know, Rob, you're the only one I can talk to about her.
00:04:05Thanks. Thanks, man.
00:04:11Hello, you have four messages.
00:04:15Message one.
00:04:18Hey, gorgeous, it's, uh, Trent calling.
00:04:20Look, you gotta get that girl out of your head. Uh, I hope my...
00:04:23Message two.
00:04:26Hey, Mike, uh, if you want to talk about Michelle, give me...
00:04:29Message three.
00:04:32Did she call yet? I'm sure she... - Message four.
00:04:35Michael, this is Grandma.
00:04:38We all miss you back here in New York.
00:04:40You still haven't told me if you got that part on the television pro...
00:04:43That was your last message.
00:04:50You have to put things in perspective.
00:04:53- I know, I know. - She doesn't deserve you.
00:04:57Thanks. I appreciate that.
00:04:59There are plenty of fish in the sea.
00:05:01Okay, that's great advice. Thanks a lot. Okay? Bye.
00:05:03- Life, after all... - Please, I'm trying to make a phone call.
00:05:06- Are you calling her? - No. Will you stop? I'm try... Please.
00:05:15- Hello? - What's up, Trent?
00:05:17Hey, we got two parties tonight. One's for a modeling agency.
00:05:20- I don't know. - Listen to me, baby. There's gonna be beautiful babies there.
00:05:23I... Look, Trent, uh, I got shit to do tomorrow.
00:05:26Listen to you. I've got a final callback on a pilot at 9:00, and I'm going to this thing.
00:05:29Come on, Mike, you got to get out with the beautiful babies.
00:05:31- You can't sit at home thinking about it. - Not tonight.
00:05:34Not tonight? Listen to you! We're gonna have fun tonight.
00:05:37- We gotta get you out of that stuffy apartment.
00:05:40We're gonna spend half the night driving around the hills looking for this one party,
00:05:43and you're gonna say it sucks, and we're all gonna leave,
00:05:45and then we're gonna go look for this other party.
00:05:47But all the parties and all the bars, they all suck.
00:05:50I spend half the night talkin' to some girl who's lookin' around the room...
00:05:53to see if there's somebody else who's more important she should be talking to.
00:05:56And it's like I'm supposed to be all happy, uh, 'cause she's wearing a backpack.
00:06:00I... You know, and half of them are just nasty skanks...
00:06:02who wouldn't be nothing, except they're surrounded by a bunch of drunken, horny assholes.
00:06:06I'm gonna tell you something, T. Are you listening?
00:06:09- Yeah, I'm listening. - I'm not gonna be one of those assholes, all right?
00:06:13It just makes me sick.
00:06:15It's like, uh, some nasty skank who isn't half the woman my girlfriend is...
00:06:17is gonna front me?
00:06:19- It makes me want to fuckin' puke. - Jesus Christ!
00:06:21Will you shut up for a minute? We gotta get you the fuck out of Dodge, man.
00:06:24- We're goin' to Vegas tonight. - What are you talkin' about?
00:06:28- Vegas, baby. Vegas! - What do you mean, Vegas?
00:06:31- Vegas. Las Vegas. - I'm not going to no Vegas.
00:06:34Yeah. I think... You know what, man? We're gonna go to Vegas and, uh...
00:06:37- When are we going to Vegas? - We're going tonight.
00:06:39- No, we're not going tonight. I'm not going to Vegas! - I'm gonna pick you up.
00:06:42- Listen to me. - No, you listen to me. I'm not going, okay?
00:06:44- None of this shit anymore. - Listen, I just listened to you; now hear me out.
00:06:48You bring something nice to wear.
00:06:51- I'm not going to Vegas. - Mike, we're going.
00:06:53I'm not going to Vegas.
00:06:55All right, listen. I took out $300, but I'm only betting with 100.
00:07:00I can't afford any more than that, all right?
00:07:03And I figure if we buy a lot of chips, though, the pit boss will see us,
00:07:05he'll comp us all sorts of free shit; that's how it works over there.
00:07:07- But you gotta be cool. - I'm cool, baby, I'm cool.
00:07:09They're gonna give Daddy a room, some breakfast, maybe Bennett singing.
00:07:13- I know just the place. - What the hell are you wearin'?
00:07:15I thought you said we're gonna wear suits.
00:07:17Oh, Mike, you gotta stop worrying about this. We're goin' to Vegas, man.
00:07:20If you're wearing a suit, and you look like you gamble a lot, they give you free shit.
00:07:24It's in the back. I'll put it on when we get there.
00:07:26Uh-uh. No way. No, turn around. I'm goin' home.
00:07:28You gotta show up wearing that suit, or otherwise I'm not going.
00:07:31All right already, okay? I'll put my suit on. Grab the wheel. Hold it steady.
00:07:35- I'm tellin' you, this is how you do it. - I know!
00:07:37- They're watching you when you drive up. That's how it works. - Fine, fine.
00:07:40It could work. I'm serious.
00:07:42They're gonna give Daddy the Rain Man suite. You dig that?
00:07:44- We're going to Vegas, Mike. Vegas! - Vegas!
00:07:47You think we can get there by midnight?
00:07:49- We're gonna be up five "hundy" by midnight! - Yeah!
00:07:51- Vegas! Vegas! - Vegas, baby. Vegas!
00:08:00Vegas, baby. Vegas.
00:08:02'Cause I'm not the happy guy I used to be
00:08:09She thinks I
00:08:12Still care
00:08:17But if she's happy thinking
00:08:21I still need her
00:08:27Vegas, baby. Vegas.
00:08:34Vegas.
00:09:02It's the root of all evil Of strife and upheaval
00:09:05But I'm certain, honey
00:09:09That life would be sunny
00:09:12With plenty of money
00:09:16And you
00:09:32I always thought, uh, Caesar's was more the dope spot.
00:09:34Back in their day, this place was a real contender, but now they'll appreciate the business.
00:09:38They'll probably fall all over themselves for a couple of high-class guys like me and you.
00:09:41- Now, we're not... - You want to be fresh on the scene, right?
00:09:43The new places down on the strip, now, those places are supposed to be it.
00:09:46Oh, Mike, you don't want all that fuckin' Pirate of the Caribbean horseshit.
00:09:49Or the rock and roll grunge tip.
00:09:51You know, guys like me and you gotta kick it here. Old school.
00:09:54Yeah, this is... This is truly old school.
00:09:56- Definitely old school. - This place is fuckin' dead.
00:10:01You know, I'm gonna find me two waitresses here and I'm gonna pull me a Fredo.
00:10:03- Yeah, well, they're all skanks. - What are you talkin' about?
00:10:05Look at all the beautiful babies here.
00:10:07The beautiful babies don't work midnights to 6:00 on a... on a Wednesday.
00:10:11- This is the skank shift. - Look at all the beautiful honeys here.
00:10:14- Excuse me. - Excuse me, darling. I want you to remember this face here.
00:10:17This is the guy behind the guy behind the guy.
00:10:23Okay.
00:10:26Will you cut that shit out?
00:10:29- What? She smiled. - That's not cool, man.
00:10:31- Did she or did she not smile? - It doesn't matter.
00:10:34- Mike, I'm telling you, girls love that stuff. - You're gonna screw up our plan.
00:10:37- Baby, we're gonna get laid. - Could we first see what happens when we play it cool?
00:10:41What do you think, Mike? Do you think she's gonna leave us and go tell her pit boss on us?
00:10:45Will you stop makin' fun, all right?
00:10:47The trick is we gotta look like we don't need the shit, then they give us shit for free.
00:10:51Right, right, right. Well, I think you look great, man.
00:10:54I think I'm looking like the money, like the bomb, right?
00:10:57All right, stop. See that? That, uh, table? That's where we make our scene.
00:11:00You think they'll notice me and you?
00:11:02Oh, they're gonna notice me and you, 'cause they're watching.
00:11:05- Nicely done, sir. You're on a streak now. - It's about time.
00:11:08One of the best streaks I've ever had. I wanna get even.
00:11:17Uh, start with, uh, I don't know, 300?
00:11:36I can count that for you.
00:11:39- On the table. - Excuse me?
00:11:41- You have to lay it on the table. - I don't want to bet it all.
00:11:45You're not allowed to hand me money, sir.
00:11:47You have to lay it on the table if you want me to change it.
00:11:58- Changing 300. - Three hundred.
00:12:09- Do you have anything smaller? - Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.
00:12:13But this happens to be a $100 minimum bet table.
00:12:16Perhaps you'd be more comfortable at one of our lower stakes tables.
00:12:21Okay, just tuck 'em under, just like this.
00:12:24There you go.
00:12:28Cocktails?
00:12:30Guy behind the guy.
00:12:32I'll have a scotch on the rocks, please.
00:12:34Any scotch will do, as long as it's not a blend, of course.
00:12:37Uh, single malt. Glenlivet, Glenfiddich perhaps.
00:12:40Maybe a Glengow... Any Glen.
00:12:42Scotch on the rocks.
00:13:05- Double down. - What?
00:13:07You got an 11. You always double down on an 11.
00:13:09I know, but it's $200. It's blood money.
00:13:12- Mike, you gotta double down. - I can't double down.
00:13:14- Mike, if you don't look like you know what you're doing... - Will you stop for a second?
00:13:16- Just shut up, okay? I can't. - If you don't look like you know what you're doing...
00:13:18Just stop for a second!
00:13:23Double down.
00:13:27That's nice.
00:13:29Eighteen. Good. Eighteen's good.
00:13:36Twelve. Sixteen.
00:13:44Twenty-one.
00:13:47I'm telling you, baby, you always double down on an 11.
00:13:50- Well, obviously not always. - Always, baby.
00:13:52I'm just saying not in this particular case.
00:13:54- You always double... - I lost, okay? How could you say "always"?
00:13:57- Lady has 11. What would you like to do? - Um, I hit.
00:14:02- Fifteen. - I don't know what to do here.
00:14:05I'll hit again.
00:14:08Seventeen.
00:14:11Okay. I'll hit there. Okay.
00:14:14- Twenty-one. - Oh, my gosh! Twenty-one!
00:14:17I got it! Oh, my heavens. Thank you!
00:14:20Whee!
00:14:22Would you like to have some breakfast this morning, ma'am?
00:14:25Oh, I really shouldn't. But then again, it's a good idea. I'd love it.
00:14:29- Thank you so much! - Why not? By all means.
00:14:31- Take this ticket in with you when you go in. - Oh, thank you!
00:14:33- They'll fix you up. - You'll fix me up.
00:14:38That went plenty nice, baby. You're up 20 bucks.
00:14:42You know, I mean not counting what happened on the first table.
00:14:44- Thanks for clarifying that. - I'm down too, Mike.
00:14:46- Yeah? What'd you lose? - I don't know what I dropped.
00:14:50Let's see, I dropped probably 35 or...
00:14:52Don't give me that shit. You know exactly what you lost. What'd you drop?
00:14:56Twenty, all right? But I was down at least fifty. I'm sorry. I got lucky on the craps table.
00:14:59You shouldn't be sorry. You're a winner. I'm the fuckin' loser.
00:15:02- I'm the one who should be sorry. - Baby, don't talk that way.
00:15:04Could we just go, please? Could we go?
00:15:07Baby, look at me. Look at me.
00:15:09You're money. And you know what else? You're a big winner tonight.
00:15:12- I want to leave. - You're a big winner.
00:15:14I'm gonna ask you a simple question, and I want you to listen to me.
00:15:16Who's the big winner here tonight at the casino? Huh?
00:15:21- Mikey, that's who. Mikey's the big winner. - Okay.
00:15:23- Mikey wins. - What a fuckin' asshole.
00:15:25Fine, I'm an asshole. But you know what? You're the big winner tonight, Mikey.
00:15:28- You're the big winner in more ways than one. - There you two are.
00:15:31I walked around for an hour with that stupid scotch on my tray.
00:15:34We got knocked out pretty fast.
00:15:37- Ah, a couple of high rollers like yourself? - Can you believe it?
00:15:39- I'm gonna get you that scotch. - You know, forget about it.
00:15:41- I didn't even want it. I just wanted to order it. - Can I get you something else?
00:15:44I mean, you really shouldn't leave without getting something for free.
00:15:47Why ruin a perfect night?
00:15:49Listen, um, bring a single-malted, uh, Glengarry for me...
00:15:52and one for my boy Mikey here.
00:15:54And if you tell the bartender to go easy on the water,
00:15:57then this 50-cent piece has your name written all over it, okay?
00:16:02I want you to run along, 'cause I'll be timing you.
00:16:04I'm gonna keep time. One, two, three, four.
00:16:09- What an asshole. - Baby, that was money. Tell me that wasn't money.
00:16:12- That was so demeaning. - She smiled, baby.
00:16:14- I can't believe what an asshole you are. - No, baby, she smiled.
00:16:17- She was smiling at what an asshole you are. - No, no, no, no, no.
00:16:20- She was smiling at how money I was, what I did with her. - Could we get out of here?
00:16:23- I'm not gonna pay for a room. - Mike, what the hell do you want to get out of here for?
00:16:26- The honey baby's bringing us a cocktail. - What, are you nuts?
00:16:29- You think she's coming back here? - I know she's coming back.
00:16:31Did you hear what she said? "You shouldn't leave without getting something for free."
00:16:34Baby, she wants to party. She wants to.
00:16:37I'm tired. We should just go.
00:16:39Baby, this is what we came for. Now, we met a beautiful baby, and she likes you.
00:16:42- She likes you. - Whatever. Daddy's gonna get her to bring a friend.
00:16:45Now, I don't care if I end up with her or one of her beautiful baby friends.
00:16:51It's just I been... I been out of the game for so long, man.
00:16:54- It's been like six years. - Listen, it's hard, I know. I been there myself.
00:16:59Not for six years or anything, but I've been there.
00:17:00Not for six years or anything, but I've been there.
00:17:02The best thing you can do is just get back out there.
00:17:04It's just I... I'm not attracted to them. I keep thinking of my girlfriend.
00:17:08Then I'm trying to, like, maintain a conversation with them.
00:17:11Mike, do you even think I know what the hell they're saying to me half the time?
00:17:15I don't know if they're talking about how hard it is to be adopted...
00:17:18or how their dad can't show 'em affection.
00:17:20All I do, man, is stare at their mouth and wrinkle my eyebrows,
00:17:24and somehow I turn out to be a big sweetie, okay?
00:17:27Take this girl here. She's a waitress in Las Vegas.
00:17:30But I bet somewhere inside of her there is a very, very special dream.
00:17:34And no matter how hard I try, I won't...
00:17:37Hey, there she is, the most special lady in town, right?
00:17:40- Yup. - What time do you get off, uh, Christy?
00:17:42- 6:00. - 6:00, great.
00:17:44- Two Glengarrys down, easy on the water. - Fantastic.
00:17:47Uh, listen. Why don't you call a friend and have her meet the three of us...
00:17:51- at the Bamboo Lounge at 6:01? - You got it.
00:17:53- All right? - Sure. Hey.
00:17:59That was so fuckin' money. That was like the Jedi mind shit.
00:18:02See, that's what I'm trying to tell you, baby. Girls love that kind of stuff.
00:18:05They don't go for the sensitive shit.
00:18:07You start talking to 'em about, uh, you know, puppy dogs and ice cream.
00:18:10They know what you want to do. What do you think? You really think they don't know?
00:18:14- No. I know. - They know what you want, baby. Believe me.
00:18:17When you pretend it's just like a waste of their time.
00:18:19You're gonna take 'em that way eventually, right? Don't apologize for it.
00:18:23It's just that I get this thing where I want to be a gentleman and I wanna show respect.
00:18:27Oh, Mike. Respect, my ass.
00:18:29What they respect is honesty.
00:18:31Look, you see how they dress when they go out, right? They want you to notice 'em.
00:18:35All you're doin' is letting them know that it's working. Get off this respect kick.
00:18:39There's nothing wrong with letting the girls know that you're money...
00:18:42- and that you wanna party. - You ready to order?
00:18:45Yeah. I'll have a coffee... Two, uh, two coffees.
00:18:48And it says, uh, here, "Breakfast anytime."
00:18:51That's right.
00:18:53I'll have the, uh, pancakes and the, uh, age of enlightenment, please.
00:18:57And for you?
00:19:00Oh, um, let's see, I'll have the, um, the Toucan.
00:19:04- Over easy. - I'll be back with the coffee.
00:19:07All right, great. Nice, baby.
00:19:09Renaissance. It went over her head.
00:19:12I should have said renaissance. Age of enlightenment. I...
00:19:14Oh, God! Like a Las Vegas waitress is gonna get an obscure French philosophical reference?
00:19:19It's like I'm trying to show off to her.
00:19:21I may as well have just said, "Let me jump your ignorant bones."
00:19:24Don't even sweat her. We're gonna meet our honeys soon.
00:19:26- You know Christy's friend is gonna be money. - It's 20 to.
00:19:29- We gotta get out of here. - Baby, will you relax just for a minute here?
00:19:33Excuse me. We have... We're in a little bit of a hurry.
00:19:36Hang on, Voltaire.
00:19:50- I get paid for loving - Hmm
00:19:54Loving all the time
00:19:59- How're you doin', guys? - Hey, boys.
00:20:01- We almost gave up on you. - I'm sorry we're late.
00:20:04- There's, uh, no clocks in this town anywhere. - No harm done.
00:20:07- This is Lisa. - Hi.
00:20:09- I'm sorry. I never got your name. - I'm Mike.
00:20:11- Mike. - This is Trent. We call him Double Down.
00:20:14- Trent. - Stop right there.
00:20:16- Ladies, don't you always double down on an 11? - Always.
00:20:19- No matter what. Like splitting aces. - Whatever.
00:20:21- Hi, Lisa. I'm Trent. It's nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
00:20:23Lovely, uh, make-up job you have there.
00:20:25- Oh. Uh, Lisa works at the MGM Grand. - I'm a Dorothy.
00:20:28Oh, Lisa's a Dorothy. That's great. That's great.
00:20:32Well, we're not in Kansas anymore.
00:20:40So, uh, what do you guys do?
00:20:44Well, I'm a comedian.
00:20:51Um, do you ever play out here? I'd love to see you sometime.
00:20:55- No. - Why not?
00:20:57Well, there are, uh... You know, it's just different circuits.
00:21:00- It's hard to explain. You wouldn't understand. - Who's your booking agent?
00:21:03She... She knows...
00:21:06Actually, I don't have West Coast representation as of yet.
00:21:10Oh, who's your representation back East?
00:21:12I didn't... I sort of freelanced on my own, kind of found my own things.
00:21:17- 'Cause I... - So what do you do, Trent?
00:21:19- I'm a producer. - Oh! Cool!
00:21:22That's great.
00:21:24I'm really not supposed to drink here.
00:21:26We should go someplace else. How's my place?
00:21:31- Yeah, that's great. - Yeah?
00:21:33- All right? - Yeah, we... Yeah, sure.
00:21:36- Right. - Because if you can't drink here...
00:21:39- Then you can't drink. - Why not?
00:21:41- That'll be great. - Okay, great. Let's go.
00:21:44You were in Acapulco Beach?
00:21:47We watch that all the time.
00:21:50- No, no, no, no, wait. - Yeah, yeah.
00:21:53The worst was when I went in for this Afterschool Special, right?
00:21:57So I'm sitting in the waiting room,
00:21:59and there's all these little kids, uh, sitting in the waiting room with me.
00:22:02And I see that all the kids are signed in for the exact same role as me.
00:22:05- They're auditioning for the same role as you? - Right.
00:22:08So, uh, I check the time and the place. I'm where I'm supposed to be.
00:22:12I call my agent up. She says, "Trent, they asked for you specifically."
00:22:16- What was the thing? - I don't know what it was. It was "Drugs are Bad."
00:22:19"Jenny Eats Something." Whatever. It's Afterschool Special bullshit.
00:22:22- Right. - "Jenny Eats Something."
00:22:24The role I'm reading for is "brother." I'm reading for the part of "brother."
00:22:28Big brother or little brother?
00:22:30- Just brother, man. Just brother. - No.
00:22:34Just brother, right? Finally I get to go in and meet everyone, right?
00:22:37Mikey, I'm telling you, I was money.
00:22:39It's a starring role. I practiced for a week.
00:22:41So I'm reading with the casting director and, girls, I literally start crying.
00:22:45- No. - I swear to God.
00:22:47The casting director who's reading with me kinda gets caught up in the vibe.
00:22:49- She starts crying. - Oh!
00:22:51- Yeah, I swear to God. Swear to God. - Wow.
00:22:54So now she's crying. I'm crying.
00:22:57We're both kinda crying, but not the kind of crying that's like...
00:23:01But the kind of crying that's like we're trying not to cry.
00:23:04Do you know what I mean? Like we're not trying to... Whatever. It was very cool.
00:23:07So I finished reading with her.
00:23:10I finally hold up my finger, like give me a minute here.
00:23:13- Right. - Like give me a minute.
00:23:15More than that, 'cause I'm in it. But like I'm broke.
00:23:18Give me a second here. May I have a minute?
00:23:22So I put down my head, and the whole room sits in silence...
00:23:27for at least five minutes.
00:23:29- Swear to God, five minutes. - Whoa!
00:23:31I look up, everyone rips up in applause.
00:23:33The whole room is rip-roaring clapping it up for me, for big T, right?
00:23:37Everyone in the room is sitting there tearing their face. They're crying their eyes out.
00:23:41The guy working the camera, you know, just filming it? Got tears in his eyes.
00:23:45- Not the camera guy. - I swear to God, the camera guy.
00:23:48Not so much from my reading, although it had a lot to do with it,
00:23:51but, really, he had his own things going on.
00:23:53So the producer starts to talk to me.
00:23:56He says, "Trent, when you walked in this room,
00:23:58I didn't see Trent Walker come in here."
00:24:01He said, "I saw big brother come in here." Fuckin' great, right?
00:24:05He says, "You walked in with the role, you nailed it, you're great."
00:24:07- So give me the fuckin' part. - Exactly. Right?
00:24:10Then he says to me... He says, "Trent, I gotta be honest with you.
00:24:15I think that it might be that you may be just a little bit old...
00:24:19for the role of brother."
00:24:22So I felt confident, 'cause I gave a good read.
00:24:24I say to him, "Well, how old exactly is the role of brother?"
00:24:27- Here it comes. - 'Cause I'm tall.
00:24:30- Here it comes. - But I look young, Mike. Do I look young, girls?
00:24:32Yeah, you do.
00:24:34So he says to me... I swear to God he says this to me with a straight face.
00:24:37This fucking guy. "Eleven years old."
00:24:41- And you said "double down." - Double down.
00:24:43Because you know why? Because you make it happen on the bets.
00:24:46He's great, isn't he?
00:24:48But the truth of the matter was, you saw my picture, you saw my tape.
00:24:51You know I'm 24 years old. Why did you call me in?
00:24:54- Wow. - That's your great bit.
00:24:57Well, we all have stories.
00:25:01- Wow. - Yup.
00:25:10Uh, how rude of me. I never... I never gave you the... the tour.
00:25:37Come on home, girl He said with a smile
00:25:42You don't have to love me and let's get high a while
00:25:46But try to understand Try to understand
00:25:51- Ohh - I'm gonna check on my boy.
00:25:54Ohh, try
00:25:58Try to understand
00:26:00Try, try Try to understand
00:26:04He's a magic man
00:26:13I'm sure she'll call.
00:26:15I mean, six years is a long time.
00:26:17- You don't just break it off cleanly after six years. - But she did.
00:26:20- And she's with somebody else now. - Already?
00:26:23- Yeah. - Oh, you poor thing.
00:26:27- You know what? It won't last. - Why not?
00:26:29- It's a rebound. - We were a rebound and we lasted for six years.
00:26:33Well, yeah, but how long was the relationship she was rebounding from?
00:26:39Six years.
00:26:41Uh, can I check my messages real quick?
00:26:44- I have a calling card. It won't cost anything. - Yeah.
00:26:47- Are you sure? - Yeah, sure. The phone's in the back.
00:26:49- I'm not ruining tonight, am I? - No, it's okay.
00:26:52- Are you sure? - Yeah. Oh, I understand.
00:26:54- I'm sorry. - It's okay.
00:27:03T.
00:27:06Trent.
00:27:10Trent.
00:27:13I need to, uh, u...
00:27:16No. I gotta... I gotta use... I gotta use the phone.
00:27:21- You can check 'em tomorrow. - I need to use the phone.
00:27:25Okay? I'm sorry.
00:27:28Hold on.
00:27:33I'm sure I... They weren't in there that long.
00:27:36I don't think we're interrupting anything.
00:27:46I have a calling card.
00:27:48So it's a 800... it's a 800 number.
00:28:05- Six years? Oh, poor thing. - I know.
00:28:09- And you know what he said? - What? What?
00:28:11- And I believe him. - What?
00:28:13- He said, "I just want her to be happy." - He said that?
00:28:17- It's so sweet. So sweet. - That is so sweet.
00:28:20- Oh. - I know.
00:28:23I'll make some coffee.
00:28:26Mmm.
00:28:49Did she call?
00:28:53- Oh! - Oh, Mike, I'm so...
00:28:57Oh, God.
00:28:59That's so bad. I'm sorry.
00:29:04It's gonna be okay.
00:29:07She asked me what I was thinking about. Did you want me to lie?
00:29:12You didn't have to get into it, baby.
00:29:15I'm sorry about interrupting you guys.
00:29:17Oh, don't worry about it. I just wanted you to have a good time, that's all.
00:29:21- Christy was nice. - Yeah, I really didn't like her that much, to be honest.
00:29:25- Why not? - I don't know, man. She just... She didn't really do it for me.
00:29:29What'd you think of that, uh, Dorothy girl?
00:29:34The whole Judy Garland thing kinda turned me on.
00:29:37- Does that make me some kind of a fag? - No, baby, you're money.
00:29:44- I don't think she liked me anyway. - Mike, I'm tellin' you, man.
00:29:47- She thought you were money. - I don't think so.
00:29:50I heard 'em both talking. Both those girls thought you were money.
00:29:54You're a good friend.
00:29:58Look, you take yourself outta the game.
00:30:01You start talkin' to 'em about puppy dogs and ice cream,
00:30:03of course it's going to end up on the friendship tip.
00:30:07I just don't think she liked me in that way.
00:30:09Baby, you are so money, and you don't even know it.
00:30:11Look, T, the girls don't go for me the way they go for you, okay?
00:30:16- Michelle went for you, right? - That's different.
00:30:18- Why? How is that different? - We were younger. It was college.
00:30:22You didn't go to college. You don't know how it is. The girls are young, they drink.
00:30:25- They don't know any better. - Do you know how stupid that sounds?
00:30:29Listen to me. Your self-esteem is low right now because she's with somebody else.
00:30:34But talkin' about it and thinkin' about it all the time, it's depressing.
00:30:37It's no good, man.
00:30:41I just need a little more time.
00:30:43Why, so you can sit around your stuffy apartment beating yourself up over it?
00:30:46- Remember the first week after she told you? - Don't remind me.
00:30:50Huh? Couldn't even leave your place.
00:30:54You know, you just sat around your stuffy apartment,
00:30:57sitting there, drinking orange juice, feeling sorry for yourself.
00:31:01Now look at you, man. Right? I mean, you got a part in a movie.
00:31:05- A day. - Whatever, Mike. It's work. You understand?
00:31:07You're doing what you love to do. What the hell is she doing now?
00:31:12Selling scrap metal.
00:31:15Okay. And this guy she's seeing, what the hell does he do?
00:31:18- He drives a carriage. - What?
00:31:21I heard he drives a carriage around Central Park or something.
00:31:24Oh, Mike, please! You're the fun-lovin', outgoing party guy,
00:31:28and you're sweatin' some lawn jockey.
00:31:31Jesus Christ! I'm tellin' you, man.
00:31:34You're better off without this girl. You gotta trust me on this, Mike.
00:31:38- All right, buddy? - Stop talking. Shut up.
00:31:42Okay, I'm gonna try. I promise you I will shut up if you shut the hell up.
00:31:46- We're gonna make this work. - You're damn right you're gonna try.
00:31:49Let's get home.
00:31:52- I'm a man of means by no means - Los Angeles.
00:31:56King of the road
00:31:59I know every engineer of every train
00:32:03All their children and all of their names
00:32:07And every handout in every town
00:32:11Every lock that ain't locked when no one's around
00:32:15I seen trailers for sale or rent
00:32:18- I don't think I'm gonna take it. - Look, it's a gig.
00:32:20This is definitely a step back for me.
00:32:22There's not much of a call for Shakespeare in this town.
00:32:25There's just something about being Goofy, all right?
00:32:27Any other Disney character would be fine. Mickey? Mickey's an icon.
00:32:31- Why does it have to be Goofy? - What do you want? You're tall.
00:32:35How am I gonna tell my parents?
00:32:37I still haven't told them I didn't get the series.
00:32:40You tested over a month ago. I'm sure they figured it out.
00:32:43It's like, "Mom, hi. I didn't get that pilot.
00:32:46By the way, I'm Goofy. Send more money."
00:33:09Hey, Rob.
00:33:13You notice I didn't mention her once today.
00:33:16- I didn't want to say anything. - Oh, yeah? Why?
00:33:20Ah, it's kind of like not talking to your pitcher in the middle of a no-hitter.
00:33:23- What do you mean? Like you didn't want to jinx it? - Kinda.
00:33:27I don't talk about her that much.
00:33:30- I didn't mention her once today. - Tend the pin.
00:33:32The only reason I mentioned her at all was to tell you I'm not gonna talk about her anymore.
00:33:35- I thought you'd appreciate that. - I do. Good for you, Mikey.
00:33:41- Get there. - Play it out.
00:33:44- I decided to get back out there. - Good. Glad to hear it.
00:33:47- Can't make any more excuses for myself. - Excellent.
00:33:53Do you wanna hit the town tonight?
00:33:56Uh, I shouldn't. It's a weeknight.
00:33:59- You got a Pluto callback? - Yeah, kick me when I'm down.
00:34:04- All right. Count 'em up. - How many strokes?
00:34:07One, two, three...
00:34:13- Eight, nine. - What'd you get?
00:34:15- Eight or a nine. - I'll give you an eight.
00:34:18- What did you get? - I got an eight.
00:34:20Dead heat after one hole. It's turning into quite a rivalry.
00:34:24You better replace the pin, Chi Chi. The natives look restless.
00:34:29You bitch! You bitch!
00:34:31Chelios steals to Roenick.
00:34:34- Money! - Bitch!
00:34:36Sue, why is Gretzky on his ass again?
00:34:39- Gretzky's a little bitch. - God, this is such bullshit, man. This is bullshit!
00:34:42The Kings suck in this game. You should play another team.
00:34:45- I took the Kings to the Cup. - Yeah, against the computer with the offsides off.
00:34:49- They're a finesse team, bro. - They're a fuckin' bitch team. Score... Oh!
00:34:52You bitch! What a fuckin' bitch!
00:34:54- Watch out, motherfucker. - No, you do not fuckin' hit my elbow.
00:34:56It's not even so much me as it's Roenick. He's good.
00:34:59Oh, is that right?
00:35:01- Chelios steals to Roenick. - You bitch!
00:35:04Score Chicago! Ohh!
00:35:06- That was pretty. - Such fuckin' bullshit!
00:35:08But that was pretty, Sue. Check this out on the instant replay.
00:35:11- Dude, do not... - You said it was fuckin' bullshit. Check it out.
00:35:13Look at it!
00:35:16- Look at it! - I don't want to!
00:35:18Why do you think they put the instant replay in the fucking game?
00:35:21- God, you're unbelievable. - So you can see if it's bullshit.
00:35:24- I am unbelievable. Look at it. - Every goal you're gonna watch the instant replay?
00:35:27- Come on, man, I want to fuckin' play. - I want him to learn it.
00:35:29- I never get to play. - You should practice this when I'm not here.
00:35:31- Just fuckin' move it. - When I'm not here, will you practice this?
00:35:34- Wa, wa, wa, wa. - We'll play some more. He likes to get scored on.
00:35:36- Set the game up. - Great times.
00:35:42- Yeah? - Better play defense.
00:35:44Okay. Yeah, it's on the fourth floor. The elevator's broken, okay?
00:35:47Dude, it's Pink Dot. Would you buzz him in? Hit nine.
00:35:50I wish they still had fights in this game so I could bitch-slap Wayne.
00:35:53- They don't have fighting anymore? - Doesn't that suck?
00:35:55Why'd they get rid of the fighting? It's the best part of the old version.
00:35:57Kids were hitting each other or something, man.
00:35:59But you know what, Mike? You can make their heads bleed on this one.
00:36:02- Make somebody's head bleed. - No, we're in play-offs.
00:36:04I'm gonna make Wayne Gretzky's head bleed for super fan number 99 here.
00:36:07Mikey, get the door?
00:36:10- Yeah, give me some money. - Why do I have to give you money?
00:36:12Give me some fuckin' money. I'm not paying again.
00:36:15Jesus Christ. Pause the game.
00:36:18- Dude, I'm about to do my thing with the thing. - Pause the game!
00:36:21- I got fuckin' Wayne. - Pause it!
00:36:23All right, I'll pause it. Jesus Christ. Like you scored all day.
00:36:28- How much do you want? - Just give me some money.
00:36:30Okay, fine. Take my last 20. Here. Jesus fucking Christ.
00:36:36There it is, Mikey! Check it out. His head's bleeding.
00:36:38Mikey, check it out. His legs... Little Wayne's legs are shaking all over.
00:36:41- Fucking bitch! What did you do that for? - You're the fucking bitch!
00:36:45- What the fuck are you... Why did you un-pause it? - Come on, man.
00:36:48- C'mon, peaches. - Get the fuck off me.
00:36:51- I'm not kidding. - You know what? Look at you. Look at you.
00:36:54- You wanna kiss me. Look at you. - Get the fuck off.
00:36:56- Get off! - Look at you right now.
00:36:58- Get the fuck off me! - You're fuckin' makin' me sick! You want to kiss me!
00:37:00Hey, hold still. Hold on. It's the fuckin' Pink Dot guy. Hold on.
00:37:05Hey, Mikey! Mikey, is he cute?
00:37:08- Is he brown? - Maybe he'd like to come in and join us for a cocktail.
00:37:11- Is he polite? - Is he a brown man?
00:37:13If he's polite, have him come in. If he's polite, let him in. Is he clean?
00:37:16Have him come look. Have him take off his shoes.
00:37:19Michael, is he clean? I want to see him!
00:37:22Michael, I want to see him. Don't let him go! Don't let him go.
00:37:26Get off. I'm serious. Don't fuckin' do that shit.
00:37:28Oh, he got away from us. I'm sorry, Michael. Was he nice?
00:37:32You guys are assholes. Eat, eat, you fuckin' jackals.
00:37:37- Oh, yeah. - Nice.
00:37:39- What time is the party tonight? - It starts at 8:00.
00:37:41- Everybody'll get there around 10:00. - So, what, 11:00?
00:37:44- Midnight. - Midnight.
00:37:46I'm gonna bring an old friend from back home. He just moved out here.
00:37:50- Who, Rob? - Yeah, you know him.
00:37:52Yeah, he's cool. You'll like him. He's a rounder, Rob.
00:37:55- What does he do? - Uh, he's trying to be an actor.
00:37:57- What a surprise. - How novel.
00:37:59So the party started at 8:00.
00:38:03Why are we going to a bar at 10:00?
00:38:05To grab a drink before we meet the guys for a bite at 11:00.
00:38:09Where is this place?
00:38:11For some reason the cool bars in Hollywood have to be hard to find and have no sign.
00:38:15It's kind of like a speakeasy kind of thing. It's kinda cool.
00:38:18It's like you're in on some kind of secret, you know?
00:38:21You tell a chick you been someplace, it's like braggin' that you know how to find it.
00:38:39Excuse me.
00:38:51I'll get a Dewars on the rocks. What are you getting?
00:38:54- Uh, Budweiser. - A Dewars on the rocks and a Bud.
00:38:58God, I can't believe the women in this city.
00:39:01It's like the hottest one percent from... from all over the world...
00:39:05come to our gene pool.
00:39:07Darwinism at its best.
00:39:09- Yo, Mikey, what's up? - Charles! How you doin', man?
00:39:12- Ah, you know, man. You know. - You get that pilot?
00:39:15Nah, man. I know you didn't. Otherwise you wouldn't be askin' me, right?
00:39:18- That shit wasn't funny anyway. - Piece of shit.
00:39:21Charles, this is my friend Rob from back East. He just moved out here.
00:39:25- My pleasure. - How you doin', man?
00:39:27This is Charles. We went to network on a pilot.
00:39:29- Oh, yeah, I tested for one. - A month ago.
00:39:31- How'd your folks take it? - Actually, I haven't heard an official "no" yet.
00:39:35Oh, so you haven't told them yet.
00:39:38That's all right, man. I still haven't told my folks I didn't get Deep Space Nine.
00:39:41You figure they'd figure it out by now, right?
00:39:43- But Moms keeps asking me. - Boy, does it hurt when they ask.
00:39:45I don't even tell them about anything I'm close on anymore.
00:39:48Not 'til you book it. You know, you might get cut out.
00:39:50I'm considering taking a part as Goofy.
00:39:54- Well, at least it's Disney, right? - Yeah.
00:39:57Look, we're going to, uh, we're going to this party in the hills.
00:40:00Some modeling agency. Beautiful babies. You want to come with?
00:40:03Yeah, why not? This place is dead anyway.
00:40:06Let's go.
00:40:11No, no, no, no, no. Now, you got to admit...
00:40:14that the Steadicam shot in GoodFellas was the money.
00:40:16The basement of the... the restaurant, the Copa in New York.
00:40:20- Through the kitchen, Mike. - I heard it took them four days to light that shot.
00:40:23Four days? I don't know about four days.
00:40:25- Well, that's what I heard. - They have to hide all the lights.
00:40:27Jesus, that must've cost a fortune.
00:40:29That's nothing. You know how much money my man spent on that Vegas movie?
00:40:32Wait. You gotta be nuts to shoot in a casino.
00:40:34All right, ready. Mean Streets?
00:40:36- That's the dope. - Dude, dude. Reservoir Dogs.
00:40:39- Oh, stop with that fucking Reservoir Dogs. - Which one?
00:40:41The one right in the beginning where they're walking in slow motion, man.
00:40:44How can you even compare the two, man?
00:40:46Tarantino completely bites everything from Scorsese.
00:40:49- It's true. - He's derivative.
00:40:51You know what? You gotta admit that did look money.
00:40:53I heard they did that whole thing for under ten grand.
00:40:56I don't know what the big deal is. Everybody steals from everybody. That's movies.
00:40:59Let's get the hell out of here if we wanna make this party.
00:41:41Pick up the pieces Uh-huh
00:41:43Pick up the pieces All right
00:41:45Pick up the pieces
00:42:15Whoo
00:42:43Pick up the pieces
00:42:48Pick up the pieces
00:43:03Uhh Oh, suki, suki
00:43:08Hey Uhh, come on
00:43:12- How you been? Good to see you. - Hey, good to see you.
00:43:16- So who threw this party anyway? - Damned if I know.
00:43:19- Beats me. - Hey, I came with you.
00:43:22Nice.
00:43:24- Sue! - What's that guy's name again? Sue?
00:43:27Sue. Yeah. His dad was a big Johnny Cash fan from what I understand.
00:43:30- Oh, right, right, right. The song. - Yeah, "A Boy Named Sue."
00:43:33So I think that's why he's such a mean cat.
00:43:36- That guy? - Oh, he's a bad guy.
00:43:38He don't look it. He's... No, he's mean. I seen him in a fight once.
00:43:41He had a guy and was fuckin' smackin' his head into the curb, like his mouth.
00:43:45Just fuckin' smash. His teeth came out. Just fucking, wha, wha, wha.
00:43:48Fuckin' blood came out of his fuckin' mouth. It was nasty, man.
00:43:51- Nice guy, though. That guy's cool. - Hey, big Mike.
00:43:54Hey, how're you doing? What are you doing here?
00:43:57- Marty invited me here. - Oh, yeah? Cool, cool.
00:43:59Thrill me, baby I need you
00:44:02- She looking at me now? - No.
00:44:07- How 'bout now? Is she looking over here now? - No.
00:44:15What about now? Is she looking now?
00:44:19No, she's not looking at you, dude. Will you quit asking me if she's looking at you?
00:44:22- She hasn't looked at you... Wait, she just looked. - See what I'm sayin', man?
00:44:26You understand?
00:44:29I got some friends I wanna go meet. I'll talk to you later.
00:44:32- Nice to see you. I'll give you a call. - All right. Take care.
00:44:34- All right, man. - Who's that?
00:44:36I don't know, man.
00:44:43- You know, there's so many beautiful women. - Unbelievable, dude.
00:44:46- Unbelievable. - Okay, I gotta try once.
00:44:49- You're a better man than I am, Charlie Brown. - I have to.
00:44:51- I made a promise to myself. - Go. Go for it.
00:44:53I have to get out there sooner or later, right? So I gotta go now.
00:44:56- Okay, you're gonna be my wing man? - I'll be your winger.
00:45:13Hi. Uh, how are you ladies doing this evening?
00:45:17What do you drive?
00:45:20E- Excuse me?
00:45:22What kind of a car do you drive?
00:45:26Uh, Cavalier.
00:45:28See what I mean? It's the same old shit all the time.
00:45:32It's... It's red. I have... It's a red Cavalier.
00:45:35That's nice.
00:45:39- How are you guys doing? - It's on, Mike. It's on.
00:45:42- Yeah? Which one? - Uh, Groucho.
00:45:44With the cigar?
00:45:47- She's cute, man. - Jesus Christ.
00:45:50What's wrong?
00:45:52- Mike, you just looked right at her. - Come on, she didn't notice.
00:45:55- Yeah, she did. - I better go in early now.
00:45:58- I'm sorry, man. I didn't know. - Don't sweat it, Mike.
00:46:01It's gonna be a lay-up.
00:46:0336-24-36 What a winnin' hand
00:46:05- Uh... - How're you guys doing?
00:46:08- Not well. - What, rejected?
00:46:10"Shaqued."
00:46:12Just watch old T-bone there and learn.
00:46:15She's a brick house
00:46:20My whole life people have told me I have this star quality.
00:46:24- Have they? - Well, I don't know if it's true.
00:46:26But, well, this one time... this is really stupid...
00:46:29- But in kindergarten, you know... - It's all right.
00:46:31You know how you have those little crushes? I had this crush on this guy Lee.
00:46:35He was really cute, and he wore Lee Jeans. They said "Lee."
00:46:39Anyway, I really liked him. And then one day he told me I was ugly.
00:46:42I started crying, and my teacher was, like,
00:46:45"Deidre, you are so emotional. You are so dramatic.
00:46:48You should be an actress!"
00:46:51- It was, like, that's it! I should be an actress.
00:46:54And you know what? I can cry on cue.
00:46:57- Yeah! Well, totally. - Uh-huh.
00:46:59Well, that's really been sort of my thing, you know. It got me into Juilliard.
00:47:02And the agent said to me afterwards that he thought...
00:47:04he really was reminded by me...
00:47:06of Tina Yothers, you know, from Family Ties.
00:47:08And he said I looked just like her.
00:47:18She's the one, the only one Built like an Amazon, Yeah
00:47:22Was that money or what?
00:47:25Kind of a dick move, if you ask me.
00:47:27Why, baby? What'd I do wrong?
00:47:30- You asked a girl for her number and you tore it up. - She didn't see that.
00:47:33- It doesn't matter. - That was pretty cold, dude.
00:47:35What was so cold about it?
00:47:40Right.
00:47:42See, man, you can't roll with that. She's business class.
00:47:45- Business class? - Big butt. You know, can't fly coach?
00:47:49You guys are terrible.
00:47:52Gentlemen, out of Glenfiddich.
00:47:56- What else is going on? - Could hit the Dresden.
00:47:59Perfect.
00:48:01Well, this place is dead anyway, man. Let's do it.
00:49:12What do you say, man?
00:49:15You can tell by the way I use my walk
00:49:17I'm a woman's man No time to talk
00:49:19- Hi, friends. - The music's loud and women warm
00:49:21I've been kicked around since I was born
00:49:25Now it's all right, it's okay You may look the other way
00:49:28- You can try to understand - New York Times' effect on man
00:49:33Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother
00:49:35We're staying alive Staying alive
00:49:37Feel the city shaking and everybody's breaking
00:49:40I'm staying alive Staying alive
00:49:42Ah, ha, ha, ha Staying ali-ive
00:49:49Ahh, ahh
00:49:59Yeah, I know what you're saying, man. I just don't know what to tell you.
00:50:02I mean, does it have to be Goofy?
00:50:04You know, I was Hamlet two months ago Off-Broadway, and I was good.
00:50:08- Yeah. - Wow!
00:50:10- Someone got out of school early today. - They like our vibe.
00:50:19- Oh, it's on. - It's definitely on.
00:50:22Feel the city shaking and everybody's breaking
00:50:24We're staying alive Staying alive
00:50:26- Ah, ha, ha, ha, staying alive Staying alive - God bless you guys.
00:50:31Ah, ha, ha, ha Staying ali-ive
00:50:39Ahh, ahh
00:50:44Hi, can I get a Dewars on the, uh, Dewars on the rocks?
00:50:51- I-I can't even get this guy to notice me.
00:50:55You're laughing at me? That's funny to you, huh?
00:50:58Great. Good. Great day.
00:51:01I- I'm sorry. I shouldn't.
00:51:03- Let me make it up to you. - Hang on, Nick.
00:51:07That's pretty... They know you around here, huh?
00:51:10Uh, hi. I'll have a Dewars on the rocks, please.
00:51:13And some more olives for... for our little friend here.
00:51:17Do I know you? I mean, where do I know you from?
00:51:21Um, you ever been to the Ha-Ha Hole on Pico?
00:51:25- Hmm, no. - No? You're sure? Monday nights, open mike?
00:51:28- I host an open mike there. - Hmm, no.
00:51:31Oh, you're... you're a comedian.
00:51:33Yeah.
00:51:36Yeah, it's a dream, you know. It's a lot of hard work and travel and, uh, hotels.
00:51:40I have a new booking agent, though, so I'm part of the whole Vegas circuits.
00:51:43The money's pretty good. I might buy a car, I think. You know, a foreign car.
00:51:48Treat myself. I figure I worked for it. Why not?
00:51:50I know where it is. Starbucks.
00:51:53I served you an espresso at Starbucks.
00:51:56Espresso. An espresso. Yes, that's my drink. That's probably it.
00:52:00That's great. Isn't that funny?
00:52:02You came in and asked me for an application.
00:52:04And then I took you and introduced you to my manager.
00:52:10Must've been a while ago, 'cause right now I have a booking agent.
00:52:13'Cause I've been... I have a booking agent now that I've got.
00:52:16- No. - Yeah.
00:52:18- It was about two weeks ago. - It was probably more.
00:52:21Probably longer, 'cause things have been going very well lately.
00:52:23I haven't been looking for a job in a while.
00:52:25It could have been someone who looks like me, 'cause there's a lot of people who look kinda...
00:52:28- See, I have a face that's similar... - You better pay the man.
00:52:32Here's the, uh... Here's... Just take this.
00:52:36I've been doing very well. Thank you. Uh, thank you...
00:52:39- Nikki. - Nikki. Thank you, Nikki.
00:52:42Mm-hmm.
00:52:46- We got digits, baby. - Yeah, what a surprise.
00:52:49What's wrong with you? I saw you talkin' to a beautiful brunette baby.
00:52:52She didn't like me, okay? I made a fool of myself.
00:52:55- Baby, don't talk that way. - You're so money, and you don't even know it.
00:52:58- That's what I keep tryin' to tell him. - Could you not mess with me?
00:53:02- Baby, we're not messing with you. - We're not.
00:53:05You know what you are? You're like a big bear with claws and fangs, man.
00:53:08- Big fuckin' teeth, man. - Yeah, big fuckin' teeth on ya.
00:53:11She's just like this little bunny who's just kinda cowering in the corner.
00:53:14- Shivering. - Yeah, man, just kinda...
00:53:17You got these claws and you're staring at these claws, and you're thinkin' to yourself,
00:53:20with these claws, you're thinkin', "How am I supposed to kill this bunny?"
00:53:23You're pokin' at it, man.
00:53:25You're not hurtin' it. You're just kinda gently battin' the bunny around.
00:53:28You know what I mean? And the bunny's scared of you.
00:53:30- And it's shivering. - You got the fucking claws!
00:53:32These claws and these fangs! You're looking at your claws and your fangs.
00:53:36You're thinking to yourself, "I don't know what to do, man.
00:53:39I don't know how to kill the bunny." With this, you don't know how to kill the bunny!
00:53:43You're like a big bear, man.
00:53:45- So you're not just fuckin' with me? - No, I'm not fucking with you!
00:53:48- Honestly! - Mike, I'm telling you, you're money.
00:53:50You're so fucking money.
00:53:52I want you to go over to that girl and I want you to get those digits.
00:53:54- You're money. - Come here a second. Listen to me.
00:53:56Look it, when you go up to talk to her, man,
00:53:59I don't want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone's really hoping makes it happen.
00:54:04I want you to be like the guy in the rated R movie, you know?
00:54:07The guy you're not sure whether or not you like yet.
00:54:10You're not sure where he's coming from, okay? You're a bad man.
00:54:12You're a bad man. You're a bad man.
00:54:15Bad man.
00:54:55All right, all right.
00:55:00See, baby, it's not that hard.
00:55:02- 818? - 310.
00:55:05Nice.
00:55:07- So how long do I wait to call? - A day.
00:55:09- Tomorrow. - Mm-mmm.
00:55:12- Tomorrow, then a day. - Yeah.
00:55:14- So two days. - Yeah, I guess you could call it that... two days.
00:55:17Definitely. Two days is like industry standard.
00:55:19I used to wait two days to call anybody, but now it's like everyone in town waits two days.
00:55:24So I think three days is kinda money. What do you think?
00:55:26- Two's enough not to look anxious. - Two's enough not to look anxious.
00:55:29But I think three days is kinda money.
00:55:31Maybe I'll wait three weeks. How's that?
00:55:33And tell her I was cleaning out my wallet and I just happened to run into her number.
00:55:36- Then ask her where you met her. - Yeah.
00:55:38I don't remember. What does she look like? Then I'll ask if we fucked.
00:55:41Would that... T, would that be the money?
00:55:43You know what? Ha, ha, ha, Mike. Laugh all you want.
00:55:45But if you call too soon, you might scare off a nice baby who's ready to party.
00:55:50- How long are you guys gonna wait to call your babies? - Six days.
00:55:55Different, I don't know, schools of philosophy, they all can fight each other.
00:56:02- I think I like this town. - No, no, gotta go to New Orleans.
00:56:05Hey, how're you doin'?
00:56:08Watch where you're going, asshole.
00:56:11What'd you say, bitch?
00:56:15I said watch where you're going, bitch.
00:56:18- Oh, so you want something. - Hey, fucker. Hey.
00:56:22- Fuck him up. - Smack that fuckin' bitch.
00:56:24- Yeah, motherfucker. - You got a fucking problem with me, bitch?
00:56:27Come on! Yeah, I got a fuckin' problem, motherfucker!
00:56:30- Yeah, come on! - You're the fuckin' bitch, baby!
00:56:33- Come on, bitch. You little fuckin' pussy! - Come on, punk, do it.
00:56:36- Slap that bitch. - Roll up, bitch.
00:56:38- Hey, you're a fuckin' bitch! You're a fuckin' bitch! - You wanna go?
00:56:42I'll show you who the fucking bitch is!
00:56:45Huh?
00:56:47You're the fucking bitch!
00:56:51Motherfucker!
00:57:00- What the fuck? - You asshole! Didn't you see Boyz N the Hood?
00:57:03- Now one of us is gonna get shot. - He ain't gonna do anything.
00:57:06- You fuckin' asshole. - What a fuckin' dick.
00:57:09What the fuck did you want me to do, back down? He called me a bitch.
00:57:12- We kept our rep, bro. - Fuck rep, man. I got a callback tomorrow.
00:57:15Yeah, I gotta get up early tomorrow.
00:57:20What the fuck are you carrying a gun for? In case somebody steps to you, Snoop Dogg?
00:57:25Hey, man, you're not from here. You don't know how it is.
00:57:27- I grew up in L.A. - Anaheim.
00:57:29Whatever, man. It's different out here. It's not like New York, Mikey.
00:57:33Fuckin' A right, it's not like New York. Out here you can avoid trouble.
00:57:36It's not like you live in Compton, Sue, with bullets whizzing by your head.
00:57:40You live in a good neighborhood, man. In New York trouble finds you.
00:57:43- People get carjacked. - Oh, man, who would ever carjack your fuckin' K car?
00:57:47He's right, Sue. You don't need to carry a gat.
00:57:50Just 'cause I had the balls to stand up to these guys...
00:57:52Like fuckin' House of Pain was gonna do anything?
00:57:55- You like in this fucking fantasy world. - Wha...
00:57:58What about you, Mikey? At least I fuckin' have balls, man.
00:58:01You're always whining about some bitch that left you a year ago!
00:58:05It was six months ago, and she didn't leave me.
00:58:08Whatever, man! You're like a fuckin' little whiny bitch, man.
00:58:11Oh, whoopee, you got a number tonight? You're gonna fuck it up.
00:58:14- Hey, Sue. - No. Have you gotten laid once since you moved out here?
00:58:19- Have you fucked once? - Why don't you shut the fuck up for a little bit?
00:58:22I know for a fact that you haven't. You know how I know?
00:58:24- 'Cause you never shut up about it! - Shut the fuck up, Sue!
00:58:28- Ah, he's fuckin' right. - Shut up! Hey, Mike, come here.
00:58:30Mike, come back here! Mike, come back here!
00:58:34- He was fuckin' pissing me off! - Just shut the fuck up.
00:58:37Just shut the fuck up. I don't even want to fuckin' talk to you right now.
00:58:40- I do... - Shut the fuck up!
00:58:59You have no messages.
00:59:55Hi, this is Nikki. Leave a message.
00:59:59Hi. Uh, Nikki, this is Mike.
01:00:02I met you at the, um, at the Dresden, uh, tonight.
01:00:05Uh, I just called t-to say that I had a great time...
01:00:09and you should call me tomorrow, or in, uh, t-two days, uh, whatever.
01:00:13Anyway, uh, my number...
01:00:15is 213-555-4679...
01:00:34Hi, this is Nikki. Leave a message.
01:00:37Hi, uh, Nikki, this is Mike again.
01:00:39I just called 'cause it sounded like your machine might've cut me off...
01:00:42when, uh, when I... before I finished leaving my number.
01:00:45Anyway, uh... And also, uh, sorry to call so late,
01:00:49but you were still at the Dresden when I left, so I knew I'd get your machine.
01:00:53Anyhow, uh, uh, my number's 2-1...
01:01:03Hi, this is Nikki. Leave a message.
01:01:06213-555-4679. That's it. Just wanna leave my number.
01:01:10I didn't want you to think I was weird or desperate or...
01:01:15We should just, uh, hang out...
01:01:17and, uh, see where it goes.
01:01:19'Cause it's nice and, uh, you know, no expectations.
01:01:22So, okay? Thanks a lot. Bye-bye.
01:01:39Hi, this is Nikki. Leave a message.
01:01:42I just got out of a six-year relationship, okay?
01:01:44That should help explain why I'm acting so weird. I just wanted you to know that.
01:01:48It's not you, it's me. I'm sorry.
01:01:54This is Mike.
01:02:04Hi, this is Nikki. Leave a message.
01:02:07Hi, Nikki, this is Mike. Could you just, uh, call me when you get in?
01:02:10I'm gonna be up for a while and I'd rather speak to you in person...
01:02:13instead of trying to fit it all into...
01:02:15Fuck!
01:02:25Hi, this is Nikki. Leave a message.
01:02:30Uh, Nikki? M-Mike.
01:02:33It's, uh, uh... It's just, uh...
01:02:35This just isn't working out.
01:02:37I- I think you're great, but, uh, I-I...
01:02:41Maybe we should just take some time off from each other.
01:02:44It's not you, it's me. It's what I'm going through.
01:02:48All right? Uh, i-i-it's, it...
01:02:50It's only been six months...
01:02:53- Mike? - Nikki! Great!
01:02:56D- Did you just walk in, or were you listening all along?
01:03:00Don't ever call me again.
01:03:03Wow. I-I guess you're home.
01:03:27Hey, this is Mike. Leave a message after the beep.
01:03:32Hey, Mikey, it's Trent. You home? You there?
01:03:37All right, man, I guess you're not home.
01:03:39Why don't you come out tonight, Mikey? I haven't seen you for two days.
01:03:42We're gonna play hockey at Sue's house until 10:30,
01:03:45and then we're either going to the Lava Lounge for Sinatra Night...
01:03:48or we'll be at the Derby for Big Bad Voodoo Daddy.
01:03:51We might also check out Swing Night at the El Rey.
01:03:54And if we're not there we'll be at the Three of Clubs, all right?
01:03:57Otherwise we'll be at the Dresden Room, so come on out and meet up with us.
01:04:01See you soon, gorgeous.
01:04:57Hey, this is Mike. Leave a message after the beep.
01:05:00Mikey, it's Rob. I'm downstairs.
01:05:02Come on, pick it up and buzz me in, buddy.
01:05:05Come on, open up.
01:05:34Thanks, man.
01:05:41You eat anything today?
01:05:50Yesterday?
01:05:52You haven't been drinking, have you?
01:06:09- Sorry about what happened at the Dresden, man. - Oh, don't worry about it, man.
01:06:14It's like, now I have my L.A. gun story.
01:06:17You should hear the way I tell it to the guys back home... it's an Uzi.
01:06:27- You wanna talk about it? - What's the point?
01:06:37Hey, it's been two days. You should call that Nikki girl.
01:06:43Not your type.
01:06:49I'm thinking of moving back East.
01:06:54- Well, that's dumb. - What's so dumb about it?
01:06:57You're doing really well out here, Mike.
01:07:00How well am I doin'?
01:07:02I host an open mike; I play a fuckin' bus driver in a movie.
01:07:05Big fuckin' deal.
01:07:07I got an agent that specializes in magicians.
01:07:10How good am I doin'?
01:07:12Did you get turned down for Goofy?
01:07:14They turned you down?
01:07:16Yeah, they went with somebody who had some more theme park experience.
01:07:21I killed for that job.
01:07:23The point is, Mike, it all depends on how you look at it. All right?
01:07:28You're telling me that your life sucks. That means mine is god-awful.
01:07:32Part of the reason I moved out here is I saw how well you were doing,
01:07:35and I figured if you could make it, I could too.
01:07:38- I didn't make it. - You got an agent. You got in the unions.
01:07:42You know, that's your problem, is that you...
01:07:46You don't look at the things that you have.
01:07:49You only look at the stuff you don't have.
01:07:52Those guys are right about you. You're money.
01:07:56Then why won't she call?
01:08:01She won't call because you left.
01:08:05She's got her own life to deal with, man, and that's in New York.
01:08:08She's a sweet girl and I love her to pieces,
01:08:11but fuck her, man... you gotta get on with your life.
01:08:14You gotta let go of the past, and Mikey, when you do the future is beautiful.
01:08:19All right? Look out the window.
01:08:22It's sunny every day here. It's like manifest destiny.
01:08:26Don't tell me we didn't make it. We made it. We are here.
01:08:31Everything that is past is prologue to this.
01:08:34All of the shit that didn't kill us is only...
01:08:37Ah, you know. All that shit.
01:08:40You're gonna get over it.
01:08:46How did you get over it? How long did it take?
01:08:50I don't know. Sometimes it still hurts.
01:08:54You know how it is, man. It's like...
01:08:56You wake up every day, it hurts a little bit less,
01:08:59then you wake up one day and it doesn't hurt at all.
01:09:02And the funny thing is...
01:09:04This is kinda weird, but it's like...
01:09:08you almost miss that pain.
01:09:16You miss the pain?
01:09:20Yeah, for the same reason that you miss her.
01:09:23Because you... you lived with it for so long.
01:09:32Let's go get something to eat.
01:09:34All right. Sure.
01:09:36You look like shit.
01:09:44Mikey! What's up, man?
01:09:47You wanna play again, motherfucker?
01:09:49I'm glad you came out tonight. It's good to see you.
01:09:51- You're my problem, you bitch motherfucker! - Come on in.
01:09:53- Come on, bitch! - You want some?
01:09:55- Hey, guys! Mikey's here! - What's up, Mikey?
01:09:58What's up, baby?
01:10:01- Oh, so you want some? You want some? - You ain't shit!
01:10:04Roll up, bitch! Roll up! Roll. That's right.
01:10:08You run. You run, baby.
01:10:10Blast him! Come on, hit him!
01:10:13- All right. - Okay, bitch.
01:10:15- You ready, hip hop? - Uh-huh.
01:10:17- Come on, man! Let's move it up! - Hey, man.
01:10:19What are they doing here?
01:10:22Oh, no, no, it's totally cool, man.
01:10:24We saw 'em that night at Roscoe's. Trent cleared it up.
01:10:26I apologized, bought 'em some chicken and waffles. It's totally fine.
01:10:29They fuckin' love T, man. That boy can talk.
01:10:36More important, man,
01:10:38I'm sorry about what I said.
01:10:40I was out of line. I was drunk, my adrenalin was goin'.
01:10:44Yeah, you know, whatever. I needed a good kick in the ass.
01:10:46It was a... I don't know. We're better friends for it. All right?
01:10:51All right, man.
01:10:53- Roll up, bitch! Roll! - Come on, let's see it!
01:10:56- Thanks, man. - Get off me!
01:10:58I been hatin' myself for the last few days.
01:11:01- That's all right. I keep it in the zone. - Look, I know what that's like.
01:11:05- Come on, Superman. - You watchin', New Kids On The Block?
01:11:08- Yo, Double Down, what time we leaving? - Five minutes, baby.
01:11:11Hey, Mikey, you should call that girl Nikki. It's been two days.
01:11:15See if she wants to meet you there.
01:11:34Hey, Curt.
01:11:38Aw, we got a line. We got a line.
01:11:42Hey, what's up, Lisa?
01:11:45- Let's just take the front. - We don't gotta wait in line.
01:11:48Come on, Mike.
01:11:56Hey, hey, Tony. Whadda ya say, man?
01:11:58- How you doin' tonight? - Hey, Gary.
01:12:00- What's goin' on? - Hey, Tony, man, how'd the audition go?
01:12:03- Not happening, man. - Yeah? You look like you been workin' out though.
01:12:06- All right. - How you doin', man?
01:12:08Watch the steps. They're greasy.
01:12:25And it's you and me and the bottle makes three tonight
01:12:35Hey, whadda ya say, man?
01:12:37Hey, how's it goin'? What's up?
01:12:40- Hey. - żQue paso?
01:12:44How you doin', Annie? Good to see you. I'll see you soon.
01:12:47- Hey, sweetie. - Hola. żComo esta?
01:12:49- Raoul, what's up, man? How's it goin'?
01:12:51Keep the waters comin'.
01:12:54My favorite watering hole
01:12:56I said, hey, Moe How you doin'
01:12:59Where have you been
01:13:01He said, I been found buyin' whiskey wine and gin
01:13:05Man, I know we gotta go
01:13:08It's the same thing every night
01:13:10But I don't think another drink is gonna make me lose my mind
01:13:14So I'll think about my next drink
01:13:19And it's you and me and the bottle makes three tonight
01:13:21Come on, Daddy, let's get us a drink.
01:13:40Swing it, kid!
01:13:48Yo! Bartender!
01:13:50And Jack, oh, I know what you're thinkin'
01:13:54That now's as good as any to start drinkin'
01:13:59- Hey, Scotty. - Yeah? - What's it gonna be
01:14:03A gin and tonic sounds mighty, mighty good to me
01:14:08Well, man, I know we gotta go
01:14:10It's the same thing every night
01:14:13But I don't think another drink is gonna make me lose my mind
01:14:16So I'll think about my next drink
01:14:21And it's you and me and the bottle makes three tonight
01:14:25And it's you and me and the bottle makes three tonight
01:14:33Okay!
01:14:35- To ladies? - To ladies.
01:14:38Gin time.
01:14:41I don't know. I called you Monday.
01:14:43You called me? Well, who did you talk to? I was home Monday.
01:14:48It surprises me that you've never mentioned her before, all the times we've hung out.
01:14:51- You never even mentioned me? - Very pretty girl.
01:14:53- I totally mentioned her... I totally mentioned you. - I'm sorry. Maybe I don't know.
01:14:57- Hi, Mike. How are you? - You know what's funny?
01:15:00- When we... When we played football that day, - Oh, Jesus Christ.
01:15:04I don't remember you ever leaving long enough to make a phone call to anybody.
01:15:07This is what happened. She's a nice girl.
01:16:13Excuse me.
01:16:32- Hi. - Hi.
01:16:35- I'm, uh, I'm Mike. - Hi, Mike.
01:16:38- I'm Lorraine. - Like the quiche.
01:16:40Yeah, yeah, the quiche. That's a really original joke.
01:16:45I like quiche. How's that?
01:16:47Yeah? Well, I thought real men didn't like quiche.
01:16:51Yeah, well, uh, my reputation seems to have preceded me here.
01:16:55You're not a real man?
01:16:58Not lately, no.
01:17:01Not funny, okay?
01:17:03- You're fuckin' hurting feelings here. - Hey, it's on. It's on.
01:17:05- Oh. It's on. - It is so on.
01:17:13I figured, they make movies in L.A., not in Wisconsin, so I moved here.
01:17:18Just like that.
01:17:20- Well, yeah. It wasn't that simple, but... - How was it hard?
01:17:25I left someone really special behind.
01:17:27Tell me about it.
01:17:29- You too? - Oh, yeah. Yeah.
01:17:32- Uh-huh. - Yeah.
01:17:34- Oh. I thought I was gonna die. - Oh, God.
01:17:37It's been six months and I'm just starting to get over it now.
01:17:41Wow, that's two more than me.
01:17:43- Tell me it gets better. - Oh, it does, yeah. It does.
01:17:47God bless him.
01:17:51God bless that kid.
01:17:53That's great, man.
01:17:56What advantages, you mean?
01:17:58Yeah. You said there are advantages to being single.
01:18:01I just wanna know what the advantages are.
01:18:04Well, exactly, it's like, you know, you, uh, have com...
01:18:07If you meet a girl in a bar and talk to her, you don't have to worry if anybody's watching you.
01:18:12What else?
01:18:14What? You can do whatever you want, you know.
01:18:17You grow, go out, anything.
01:18:20Like, if I met a handsome young man at a bar,
01:18:23I could just ask him to dance?
01:18:26If the guy wanted to, yeah.
01:18:29You don't think he would want to?
01:18:31Oh, yeah... No, I mean, he would want to with you. Sure. I mean, if he...
01:18:36Sure. M-M-Maybe it's just that he doesn't feel like dancing.
01:18:40Would you dance with me?
01:18:43Okay.
01:18:49Dude, check it out, dude. I swear to God, it's fuckin' on.
01:18:52- Dude, it's so fuckin' on, dude. - I know. It's on.
01:18:55- Give it up for Mike. - Look, I...
01:18:57- Dude, it's fucking on, dude! - Okay, okay. It's on, dude.
01:19:00- It's on. To you. - Jesus Christ. I'm sorry.
01:19:42Thanks.
01:19:51Go, daddy-o
01:19:55Go, daddy-o
01:20:00Go, daddy-o
01:20:40Go!
01:21:13Go, daddy-o
01:21:18Go, daddy-o
01:21:22Go, daddy-o
01:22:20All right.
01:22:29This is it.
01:22:33Yeah.
01:22:35- I had a... I had a great time tonight. - Me too.
01:22:40We should do it again some time.
01:22:42I'll be around.
01:22:44That's not gonna be good enough.
01:22:46I wanna make plans to see you again.
01:22:51I got a pen in my car.
01:22:53- Uh, I mean, yeah. Do you have something to write on?
01:22:56Yeah. Yeah.
01:23:04Ahh. Oh, you're a comedian.
01:23:07- Yeah, and an actor. Kind of. - Oh.
01:23:10Can I come see you some time?
01:23:12If and when I get a real gig, I'll give you a call.
01:23:15- How's that? - It's not going too well?
01:23:18No, when I, uh, I lived in New York they made it sound...
01:23:21like, uh, they were giving sitcoms out to stand-ups at the airport here.
01:23:26I been here six months, all I got to show for it is black lung.
01:23:35Didn't you tell me that I should be patient with my career?
01:23:39Yeah, but entertainment law isn't something you just jump into.
01:23:43Well, neither is acting, not if you're serious about it.
01:23:48- Yeah. - Can I have one of these cards?
01:23:51- Why? You like the duck with the cigar? - Yeah.
01:23:53Yeah, it's the logo from You Bet Your Life.
01:23:56- Nice touch. - I can't believe you got that.
01:23:59You know, not one club owner got that.
01:24:02- They all asked me why I got Donald Duck on my card. - They're idiots.
01:24:06At least it's not Goofy.
01:24:10Well, I guess I should be getting home. It's really getting late.
01:24:14Yeah, sure. It's gettin' kinda late, so you probably...
01:24:17Do you want me to drive you to your car?
01:24:21- That's my hog right th... - Oh.
01:24:23No, I'm across the street. Yeah.
01:24:26- Yeah? Which one? - The red piece of shit over there.
01:24:29- Yeah? Well, it suits you. - Get the hell outta here.
01:24:31Okay.
01:25:03Party, buddy! Yeah! Dig that!
01:25:09- Will you shut up? - You were great tonight!
01:25:12There she is!
01:25:15The wonderful lady. Right? Personality plus, every time I come in here.
01:25:20Nothin' but smiles for me. Whatever. Here it is.
01:25:23Dinner at the Apollo. Me and you.
01:25:26- See that? He's being funny. - Whatever.
01:25:28I don't have to be liked by everyone. Some don't like me. I don't like certain people.
01:25:32- Darlin', I think everything looks absolutely wonderful. - Thank you.
01:25:35- Oww! What the hell are you kickin' me for? - Shh!
01:25:38Fine, I'll ask her. Ma'am! Where do the high school girls hang out around here?
01:25:43You were fuckin' off your ass tonight.
01:25:45- Shh. - Where'd you learn your stuff, man?
01:25:47- The twirly-whirly... - Shh, just be... Shh. Jackknife, shut up.
01:25:51I took a ballroom class with Michelle.
01:25:53She's the only one I danced with 'til tonight. That Lorraine is good.
01:25:57You are definitely good. Did you even see how she was vibing you tonight?
01:26:00- Sorry, man. - You coulda hit that if you didn't have to take us home.
01:26:03- Definitely. - It's not like that.
01:26:05- Don't give me that shit. I think she likes you. - I know she does.
01:26:08- I really do! - Shh! Shut up, okay? I know she likes me.
01:26:11- I just didn't wanna do anything tonight. - You know what, Mike?
01:26:14- Wait three days before you call her. - You don't have to wait.
01:26:16- He should wait two days. - If he's smart about it...
01:26:18Shh! You know what? I have it under control. Okay?
01:26:21He has it under control.
01:26:23Well, I guess we don't have to worry about him anymore.
01:26:25Our little baby's all "growns" up.
01:26:27- You know what? - Shh! Shut up. Come on.
01:26:30- Our little baby's all "growns" up. - Why do you have to...
01:26:33- I'm not even hungry. I couldn't touch it.
01:26:36Why do you have to make a major production every time we go out and embarrass me?
01:26:41You know what... Oh, Jesus Christ. That's all I need.
01:26:44Our little boy's all "growns" up tonight!
01:26:47You know what, big boy? You're grown up! You're grown up!
01:26:51Yeah! Dig that!
01:26:53Is this a fuckin' production for ya?
01:26:55'Cause you're "growns" up and you're "growns" up and you're "growns" up.
01:26:58- Jesus. - I'm the asshole in the place. Right? I'm the asshole?
01:27:02- Oh, God. - I'm outta here, honey.
01:27:04- I wouldn't eat here... I would never eat here anyway.
01:27:23I like cake
01:27:25And no mistake
01:27:27But baby, if you insist
01:27:31I'll cut out cake
01:27:34Just for your sake
01:27:35Baby, come on and knock me a kiss
01:27:53Knock me a kiss
01:28:55- Hello? - Hi, Michael.
01:28:58- Michelle? - Hi. How's it goin'? It's been a while.
01:29:05- S-Six months. - How are you doin'?
01:29:09Uh, fine, I guess.
01:29:12- H-How are you? - Good.
01:29:17I, um, I think about things.
01:29:20- Yeah? - Yeah.
01:29:25What kind of things?
01:29:27You know, us.
01:29:30- I thought you met someone else. - It doesn't matter.
01:29:33- I think about you every day. - Really?
01:29:37I miss you, Mike.
01:29:40Why didn't you call?
01:29:43I don't know. I mean, I couldn't.
01:29:46Do you know how hard it is to not call you?
01:29:49I mean, I pick up the phone every night, whenever that commercial comes on.
01:29:52- The Michelin commercial? - Yeah, you know, the one with the baby in the tire.
01:29:56- One time I started to cry right in front of Pierre. - Pierre?
01:29:59Th-That's his name, Pierre? What, is he French?
01:30:02No, he's not. Listen, it's a whole other headache and I don't want to talk about him.
01:30:06I, um, I called 'cause I heard you might be moving back to Queens.
01:30:08I, um, I called 'cause I heard you might be moving back to Queens.
01:30:10- Yeah. Hang on a second. Let me get rid of this.
01:30:16- Hello? - Hi, Mike?
01:30:18- Lorraine! - Are you on the other line?
01:30:20- Yeah. Oh, hang on a second... - I could call back.
01:30:23No, no. You hang on, okay? I want to talk to you.
01:30:26Just hold on. Hello?
01:30:28So I heard you might be moving back to New York.
01:30:31Yeah, I don't think that's going to be happening just yet. Um, can I call you right back?
01:30:35Um, well, I'm going out of town for a week and the cab's on its way.
01:30:40Can't you just talk to me for five minutes?
01:30:42Look, there's somebody holding on the other line. I have to take this call.
01:30:44I really want to catch up with you, but, um, I have to take the call.
01:30:48So just... Uh, I'm gonna call you back when you get back into town.
01:30:50- Okay? - Okay.
01:30:52- Is that okay? - Yeah.
01:30:54- Really? You sure? - It's all right. All right.
01:30:57- All right, bye-bye. - Good-bye. I love y...
01:30:59- Hello? - Hi. Oh, you didn't have to get off of the other line.
01:31:02- I would've called you back. - No, that's okay. I wanted to talk to you.
01:31:05You know, I really could... could've called you back, but...
01:31:08Anyway, I probably should have waited two days. That's what my friends said.
01:31:11But... God, I sound like such a schoolgirl. It's just, they have this thing, okay?
01:31:14It's at The Room. It's Sinatra's birthday.
01:31:16And it's one of these Hollywood clubs and there's no sign.
01:31:20Uh, I don't understand why... why they don't have any signs.
01:31:23It's just I'm really bad at this.
01:31:25I just want to know if you might want to go with me.
01:31:32- So, uh, you hung up on which one? - Michelle.
01:31:35- You hung up with your girlfriend. - Ex.
01:31:38- Oh, now she's your ex. - She was always my ex.
01:31:40Yeah, right.
01:31:44- You hung up with her? - I wanted to take the other call.
01:31:49- What'd she say when you called her back? - I didn't.
01:31:54- You didn't call her back? - No.
01:31:58- Why not, Mike? - It didn't occur to me.
01:32:04Didn't occur to you.
01:32:06It didn't.
01:32:08You been, uh, tearing yourself up about this girl for six months.
01:32:14Didn't occur to you?
01:32:18No.
01:32:23Well, Michael, I'll bite.
01:32:28You know, man, I didn't understand it either. It's all so hard.
01:32:33Then it hit me on the way over here, you know, like a ton of bricks.
01:32:36It's just so simple.
01:32:38- When you... - Dude, dude, wait a second.
01:32:45I'm getting vibe like in a really weird way here.
01:32:50This girl's looking at me like she knows me a little bit.
01:32:53- You don't recognize her? - Mike, I don't know.
01:32:55I could've been out with Sue one night drinking and told her I was a race car driver.
01:32:58No, I think I would remember this girl.
01:33:02I don't think I've ever met her before. I would definitely remember this one.
01:33:06She got a lot of confidence, man. She's doing like...
01:33:10- Wow. - What's going...
01:33:14Mike, stop, stop. Stop, all right? Just stop.
01:33:16She's playing a little game, like a fun thing with me.
01:33:19Come on, you little party girl. That's it. Come on. Fun little games?
01:33:22You want to play fun little games? Come on, you nasty little, cute little baby.
01:33:26- What are you doing? - Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike. Stop. Don't. Don't, don't.
01:33:30She's smiling at me. She's playing fun little baby games.
01:33:33She don't know me. She doesn't know my address. You know my address?
01:33:36You little... Oh, you... Hold on.
01:33:39She's coming over, dude. Play it cool. She's coming over.
01:33:42She's like the wild loony. But I threw, like, the great vibe at her, the funny vibe.
01:33:46You'll see.
01:33:48- Shit. - Mommy's big boy.
01:33:51We're going bye-bye now. Yes, we're going bye-bye.
01:33:54We're gonna go home, gonna play with Daddy.
01:34:06So, um, so you called her up, right?
01:34:10Or you didn't call her. Why didn't you call her? You said you didn't call her.
01:34:13Why didn't you call her? Mike?
01:34:15Mike?
01:34:17I never cared much for moonlit skies
01:34:20Never winked back at fireflies
01:34:24But now that the stars are in your eyes
01:34:27I'm beginnin' to see the light
01:34:30And I never went in for afterglow
01:34:34Or candlelight on the mistletoe
01:34:38But now when you turn the lamp down low
01:34:41I'm beginnin' to see the light
01:34:45I used to ramble through the park
01:34:49Shadowboxin' in the dark
01:34:52Then you came and caused the spark
01:34:55That's a four-alarm fire now
01:34:59I never made love by lantern shine
01:35:02I never saw rainbows in my wine
01:35:06But now that your lips are burnin' mine
01:35:10I'm beginnin' to see the light
01:35:13I never cared much for moonlit skies
01:35:17I never winked back at fireflies
01:35:20But now that the stars are in your eyes
01:35:24I'm beginnin' to see the light
01:35:27And I never went in for afterglow
01:35:31Or candlelight on the mistletoe
01:35:34But now when you turn the lamp down low
01:35:38I'm beginnin' to see the light
01:35:41You know, I used to ramble through the park
01:35:45Shadowboxin' in the dark
01:35:49Then you came and lit that spark
01:35:52That's a four-alarm fire now
01:35:55And I never made love by lantern shine
01:35:59Never saw rainbows in my wine
01:36:03But now that your lips are burnin' mine
01:36:06I'm beginnin'
01:36:09Mm, to see the light

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