Full Metal Jacket

00:01:34I am Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your senior drill instructor.
00:01:38From now on, you will speak only when spoken to...
00:01:41... and the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be ""sir.""
00:01:45Do you maggots understand that?
00:01:47Sir, yes, sir.
00:01:49Bullshit. I can't hear you. Sound off like you got a pair.
00:01:52Sir, yes, sir.
00:01:54If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training...
00:01:58... you will be a weapon.
00:02:00You will be a minister of death praying for war.
00:02:03But until that day, you are pukes.
00:02:06You are the lowest form of life on Earth.
00:02:08You are not even human-fucking-beings.
00:02:11You are nothing but unorganized, grabasstic pieces of amphibian shit.
00:02:16Because I am hard, you will not like me.
00:02:19But the more you hate me, the more you will learn.
00:02:22I am hard but I am fair.
00:02:24There is no racial bigotry here.
00:02:27I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers.
00:02:31Here, you are all equally worthless.
00:02:33And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers...
00:02:37... who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps.
00:02:40Do you maggots understand that?
00:02:42Sir, yes, sir.
00:02:43Bullshit. I can't hear you.
00:02:45Sir, yes, sir!
00:02:47-What's your name, scumbag? -Sir, Private Brown, sir!
00:02:51Bullshit. From now on you're Private Snowball.
00:02:53-Do you like that name? -Sir, yes, sir!
00:02:56Well, there's one thing that you won't like, Snowball:
00:02:59They don't serve fried chicken and watermelon...
00:03:01... on a daily basis in my mess hall.
00:03:03Sir, yes, sir!
00:03:05Is that you, John Wayne? Is this me?
00:03:09Who said that?
00:03:11Who the fuck said that?
00:03:13Who's the slimy little communist-shit, twinkle-toed cocksucker down here...
00:03:16... who just signed his own death warrant?
00:03:19Nobody, huh?
00:03:22The fairy-fucking-godmother said it. Out-fucking-standing.
00:03:26I will P. T. you all until you fucking die.
00:03:28I'll P. T. you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk.
00:03:31-Was it you, you scroungy little fuck? -Sir, no, sir.
00:03:34You piece of shit. You look like a fucking worm. I'll bet it was you.
00:03:38-Sir, no, sir. -Sir, I said it, sir.
00:03:42Well, no shit.
00:03:45What have we got here? A fucking comedian. Private Joker.
00:03:49I admire your honesty.
00:03:51Hell, I like you. You can come over to my house and fuck my sister.
00:03:56You little scumbag. I've got your name. I've got your ass.
00:04:00You will not laugh. You will not cry.
00:04:02You will learn by the numbers. I will teach you.
00:04:05Now get up. Get on your feet.
00:04:07You best unfuck yourself or I will unscrew your head and shit down your neck.
00:04:12-Sir, yes, sir. -Private Joker, why did you join my Corps?
00:04:16-Sir, to kill, sir. -So you're a killer?
00:04:18-Sir, yes, sir. -Let me see your war face.
00:04:21-Sir? -You've got a war face?
00:04:25That's a war face. Now let me see your war face.
00:04:29Bullshit. You didn't convince me. Let me see your real war face.
00:04:34You don't scare me. Work on it.
00:04:36Sir, yes, sir!
00:04:38What's your excuse?
00:04:39Sir, excuse for what, sir?
00:04:41I'm asking the fucking questions, private. Do you understand?
00:04:44-Sir, yes, sir. -Well, thank you very much.
00:04:46-Can I be in charge for a while? -Sir, yes, sir.
00:04:49-Are you shook-up? Are you nervous? -Sir, I am, sir.
00:04:52-Do I make you nervous? -Sir....
00:04:54Sir what? Were you about to call me an asshole?
00:04:57-Sir, no, sir. -How tall are you, private?
00:05:00Sir, 5'9"", sir.
00:05:01Five-foot-9. I didn't know they stacked shit that high.
00:05:04You trying to squeeze an inch in on me somewhere?
00:05:07-Sir, no, sir. -Bullshit. It looks like the best part of you...
00:05:10... ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a stain on the mattress.
00:05:14I think you've been cheated.
00:05:16Where the hell are you from, private?
00:05:18-Sir, Texas, sir. -Holy dogshit. Texas?
00:05:20Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy.
00:05:24And you don't much look like a steer to me, so that kind of narrows it down.
00:05:27-Do you suck dicks? -Sir, no, sir.
00:05:29-Are you a peter puffer? -Sir, no, sir.
00:05:32I'll bet you would fuck a person in the ass...
00:05:35... and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach around.
00:05:38I'll be watching you.
00:05:42Did your parents have any children that lived?
00:05:44-Sir, yes, sir. -I'll bet they regret that.
00:05:47You're so ugly you could be a modern-art masterpiece.
00:05:50-What's your name, fat-body? -Sir, Leonard Lawrence, sir.
00:05:53Lawrence? Lawrence what, of Arabia?
00:05:55-Sir, no, sir. -That name sounds like royalty. You royalty?
00:05:58-Sir, no, sir. -Do you suck dicks?
00:06:00-Sir, no, sir. -Bullshit. I'll bet you could suck a golf ball...
00:06:04-... through a garden hose. -Sir, no, sir.
00:06:06I don't like the name Lawrence.
00:06:07Only faggots and sailors are called Lawrence.
00:06:10-From now on you're Gomer Pyle. -Sir, yes, sir.
00:06:12Do you think I'm cute, Private Pyle? You think I'm funny?
00:06:15-Sir, no, sir. -Wipe that disgusting grin off your face.
00:06:19Sir, yes, sir.
00:06:21Well, any-fucking-time, sweetheart.
00:06:23-Sir, I'm trying, sir. -Private Pyle, I'll give you three seconds...
00:06:27... exactly three fucking seconds...
00:06:29... to wipe that stupid-looking grin off your face...
00:06:32... or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-fuck you.
00:06:36One. Two. Three.
00:06:39-Sir, I can't help it, sir. -Bullshit. Get on your knees, scumbag.
00:06:45Now choke yourself.
00:06:48Goddamn it, with my hand, numb-nuts.
00:06:52Don't pull my fucking hand over there. I said, choke yourself.
00:06:56Now lean forward and choke yourself.
00:07:01-Are you through grinning? -Sir, yes, sir.
00:07:05Bullshit. I can't hear you.
00:07:07Sir, yes, sir.
00:07:09Bullshit. I still can't hear you. Sound off like you've got a pair.
00:07:13Sir, yes, sir.
00:07:15That's enough. Get on your feet.
00:07:21Pyle, you had best square your ass away and start shitting me Tiffany cuff links...
00:07:25... or I will definitely fuck you up.
00:07:28Sir, yes, sir.
00:07:31Left, right, left, right left, right, left.
00:07:35Left, right, left, right, left.
00:07:37Left, right, left, right, left....
00:07:39Parris Island, South Carolina...
00:07:42... the United States Marine Corps Recruit Depot.
00:07:45An eight-week college for the phony-tough and the crazy-brave.
00:07:49Mama and Papa were laying in bed
00:07:52Mama and Papa were laying in bed
00:07:55Mama rolled over And this is what she said
00:07:58Mama rolled over, this is what she said
00:08:01-Oh, give me some, give me some -Oh, give me some, give me some
00:08:04-P. T. -P. T.
00:08:05-P. T. -P. T.
00:08:07-Good for you -Good for you
00:08:08-And good for me -And good for me
00:08:10-Good -Good
00:08:11Up in the morning to the rising sun
00:08:14Up in the morning to the rising sun
00:08:17Gonna run all day till the running's done
00:08:20Gonna run all day till the running's done
00:08:23Ho Chi Minh is a son of a bitch
00:08:26Ho Chi Minh is a son of a bitch
00:08:29Got the blue balls, crabs And the seven-year itch
00:08:32Got the blue balls, crabs And the seven-year itch
00:08:35Left, right, left, right, left.
00:08:39Your left shoulder.
00:08:43Left, right, left. Port.
00:08:47Left, right. Attack. Halt.
00:08:52Left shoulder.
00:08:58Private Pyle, what are you trying to do to my beloved Corps?
00:09:01-Sir, I don't know, sir. -You are dumb, Private Pyle...
00:09:03... but do you expect me to believe that you don't know left from right?
00:09:07-Sir, no, sir. -Then you did that on purpose.
00:09:09-You wanna be different. -Sir, no, sir.
00:09:12-What side was that, Private Pyle? -Sir, left side, sir.
00:09:15-Are you sure, Private Pyle? -Sir, yes, sir.
00:09:19-What side was that, Private Pyle? -Sir, right side, sir.
00:09:23Don't fuck with me again, Pyle.
00:09:25Pick up your fucking cover.
00:09:27Sir, yes, sir.
00:09:29Your left shoulder.
00:09:32Left, right, left. Port.
00:09:37Left shoulder.
00:09:41Your right shoulder.
00:09:46Left, right, left, right. Your left shoulder.
00:09:52Left, two, three, four.
00:09:54Your right shoulder.
00:10:00Tonight you pukes will sleep with your rifles.
00:10:04You will give your rifle a girl's name.
00:10:08Because this is the only pussy you people are going to get.
00:10:13Your days of finger-banging old Mary Jane Rottencrotch...
00:10:18... through her purty pink panties are over.
00:10:22You're married to this piece.
00:10:24This weapon of iron and wood.
00:10:27And you will be faithful.
00:10:31Arms.
00:10:35Prepare to mount.
00:10:41Mount.
00:10:48Port.
00:10:54Pray.
00:10:56This is my rifle.
00:10:58There are many like it, but this one is mine.
00:11:02My rifle is my best friend.
00:11:04It is my life.
00:11:06I must master it as I must master my life.
00:11:11Without me, my rifle is useless.
00:11:14Without my rifle, I am useless.
00:11:17I must fire my rifle true.
00:11:20I must shoot straighter than my enemy, who is trying to kill me.
00:11:24I must shoot him before he shoots me.
00:11:27I will.
00:11:29Before God, I swear this creed.
00:11:32My rifle and myself are defenders of my country.
00:11:36We are the masters of our enemy.
00:11:38We are the saviors of my life.
00:11:41So be it until there is no enemy, but peace.
00:11:45Amen.
00:11:47Arm.
00:11:53At ease.
00:11:56Good night, ladies.
00:11:57Good night, sir.
00:12:00-Hit it, sweetheart. -Sir, aye, aye, sir.
00:12:03Right shoulder.
00:12:10That is not your daddy's shotgun, Cowboy.
00:12:16Left shoulder.
00:12:21Move the rifle around your head, not your head around the rifle.
00:12:28Port.
00:12:32Four inches from your chest, Pyle. Four inches.
00:12:37This is my rifle, this is my gun
00:12:40This is for fighting, this is for fun
00:12:43This is my rifle, this is my gun
00:12:45This is for fighting, this is for fun
00:12:48This is my rifle, this is my gun
00:12:50This is for fighting, this is for fun
00:12:53This is my rifle, this is my gun
00:12:56This is for fighting, this is for fun
00:12:58This is my rifle, this is my gun
00:13:01This is for fighting, this is for fun
00:13:09You ' re bouncing.
00:13:26T en fucking seconds.
00:13:28It should take you no less than 1 0 fucking seconds to negotiate this obstacle.
00:13:33Quickly, move it out.
00:13:34There ain't one swinging-dick private in this platoon's gonna graduate...
00:13:38... until they can get this obstacle down to less than 1 0 fucking seconds.
00:14:06Next two privates. Quickly.
00:14:08Get over that goddamn obstacle. Move it.
00:14:11Next two privates. Quickly.
00:14:13Hurry up. Get up there.
00:14:15-Private Joker, are you a killer? -Sir, yes, sir.
00:14:18Let me hear your war cry.
00:14:21Next two privates, go. Quickly.
00:14:24Get your fat ass over there, Private Pyle.
00:14:26Oh, that's right, Private Pyle.
00:14:28Don't make any fucking effort to get up to the top of the fucking obstacle.
00:14:32If God wanted you up there, he would have miracled your ass up by now, wouldn't he?
00:14:37-Sir, yes, sir. -Get your fat ass up there, Pyle.
00:14:39-Sir, yes, sir. -What is the matter with you?
00:14:42I'll bet if there was some pussy up there on top of that obstacle, you could get up there.
00:14:46-Couldn't you? -Sir, yes, sir.
00:14:48Your ass looks like about 1 50 pounds of chewed bubble gum. Do you know that?
00:14:52Sir, yes, sir.
00:14:56One for the commandant.
00:15:00One for the Corps.
00:15:02Get up there. Pull.
00:15:06I guess the Corps don't get theirs. Get up there, Pyle.
00:15:10Pull. Pull, Pyle, pull.
00:15:13One pull-up, Pyle. Come on, pull.
00:15:16You gotta be shitting me, Pyle. Get your ass up there.
00:15:19Do you mean to tell me that you cannot do one single pull-up?
00:15:23You are a worthless piece of shit, Pyle. Get out of my face.
00:15:28Get up there, Snowball.
00:15:31Get up here, fat-boy.
00:15:33Quickly. Move it up. Move it up, Pyle. Move it up.
00:15:36You climb obstacles like old people fuck. Do you know that, Private Pyle?
00:15:41Get up here. You're too slow. Move it. Move it.
00:15:44Private Pyle, whatever you do, don't fall down.
00:15:48That would break my fucking heart.
00:15:50Quickly. Up and over. Up and over.
00:15:54Well, what in the fuck are you waiting for, Private Pyle?
00:15:57Get up and over. Move it, move it, move it.
00:16:01Are you quitting on me?
00:16:04Well, are you?
00:16:06Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit.
00:16:11Get the fuck off of my obstacle.
00:16:13Get the fuck down off of my obstacle.
00:16:16Now. Move it.
00:16:19I'm gonna rip your balls off so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world.
00:16:24I will motivate you, Private Pyle...
00:16:27... if it short-dicks every cannibal on the Congo.
00:16:33Pick them up and set them down, Pyle.
00:16:35Quickly. Move it out.
00:16:38Were you born a fat, slimy, scumbag puke piece of shit, Private Pyle?
00:16:42Or did you have to work on it?
00:16:45Move it up. Quickly. Hustle up.
00:16:49The fucking war will be over by the time we get out there, won't it, Private Pyle?
00:16:53Move it.
00:16:55Are you going to fucking die, Pyle? Are you going to die on me?
00:16:59Do it now.
00:17:02Move it up. Hustle it up. Quickly, quickly, quickly.
00:17:06Do you feel dizzy?
00:17:09Do you feel faint?
00:17:12Jesus H. Christ, I think you've got a hard-on.
00:17:19Quickly, ladies. Assholes and elbows. Move it out.
00:17:23Get up here.
00:17:25Move it. Move it, move it, move it.
00:17:29Quickly.
00:17:30Quickly. Get up here. Hurry up. Move it out.
00:17:48Reveille. Reveille. Reveille.
00:17:51Drop your cocks and grab your socks.
00:17:53Today is Sunday. Divine worship at 0800.
00:17:56Get your bunks made and get your uniforms on.
00:17:58Police call will commence in two minutes.
00:18:01Private Cowboy, Private Joker.
00:18:03-Sir, yes, sir. -Sir, yes, sir.
00:18:05As soon as you finish your bunks, I want you two turds to clean the head.
00:18:09-Sir, aye, aye, sir. -I want that head so sanitary...
00:18:12... that the Virgin Mary herself would be proud to go in there and take a dump.
00:18:16-Sir, yes, sir. -Sir, yes, sir.
00:18:18Private Joker, do you believe in the Virgin Mary?
00:18:20Sir, no, sir.
00:18:25Well, Private Joker, I don't believe I heard you correctly.
00:18:29Sir, the private said, "" No, sir,"" sir.
00:18:31Why, you little maggot. You make me wanna vomit.
00:18:34You goddamn communist heathen. Sound off that you love the Virgin Mary...
00:18:39... or I'm gonna stomp your guts out.
00:18:41Now, you do love the Virgin Mary, don't you?
00:18:44Sir, negative, sir.
00:18:45Private Joker, are you trying to offend me?
00:18:48Sir, negative, sir.
00:18:49Sir, the private believes that any answer he gives will be wrong...
00:18:53... and the senior drill instructor will beat him harder if he reverses himself, sir.
00:18:57Who's your squad leader, scumbag?
00:18:58Sir, the private's squad leader is Private Snowball, sir.
00:19:01Private Snowball.
00:19:03Sir, Private Snowball reporting as ordered, sir.
00:19:06Private Snowball, you're fired. Private Joker is promoted to squad leader.
00:19:10-Sir, aye, aye, sir. -Disappear, scumbag.
00:19:13-Sir, aye, aye, sir. -Private Pyle.
00:19:16-Sir, Private Pyle reporting as ordered, sir. -From now on...
00:19:19... Private Joker is your new squad leader and you will bunk with him.
00:19:22He'll teach you everything.
00:19:24-He'll teach you how to pee. -Sir, yes, sir.
00:19:26Private Joker is silly and he's ignorant, but he's got guts and guts is enough.
00:19:30Now, you ladies, carry on.
00:19:32Sir, aye, aye, sir.
00:19:41The bolt. The bolt goes in the receiver.
00:19:48Operating-rod handle.
00:19:50Operating-rod guide.
00:19:53And the left one over the right.
00:19:57Right one over the left.
00:20:01Left one over the right.
00:20:04The right one over the left.
00:20:09Just throw your other leg over.
00:20:16Attaboy.
00:20:19That's it. Now just pull the next one over and you're home free.
00:20:25Ready?
00:20:32Just throw it over.
00:20:41Attaboy.
00:20:43Set it down.
00:20:47All right?
00:20:50There you go.
00:20:53Congratulations, Leonard.
00:20:56You did it.
00:20:58Fold the blanket and the sheet back together.
00:21:01Make a four-inch fold.
00:21:04Okay? Got it?
00:21:07You do it.
00:21:10Right shoulder.
00:21:13Your left shoulder.
00:21:18Port.
00:21:24Order.
00:21:49Your right shoulder.
00:21:56Square these weapons away.
00:21:58My Corps' arms should be parallel to the....
00:22:04The deadliest weapon in the world...
00:22:06... is a Marine and his rifle.
00:22:10It is your killer instinct which must be harnessed...
00:22:14... if you expect to survive in combat.
00:22:18Your rifle is only a tool.
00:22:22It is a hard heart that kills.
00:22:25If your killer instincts are not clean and strong...
00:22:30... you will hesitate at the moment of truth.
00:22:34You will not kill.
00:22:36You will become dead-Marine.
00:22:38And then you will be in a world of shit.
00:22:42Because Marines...
00:22:44... are not allowed to die without permission.
00:22:48Do you maggots understand?
00:22:49Sir, yes, sir.
00:22:52I love working for Uncle Sam
00:22:55I love working for Uncle Sam
00:22:58Lets me know just who I am
00:23:01Lets me know just who I am
00:23:04One, two, three, four United States Marine Corps
00:23:07One, two, three, four United States Marine Corps
00:23:10One, two, three, four I love the Marine Corps
00:23:13One, two, three, four I love the Marine Corps
00:23:16-My Corps -My Corps
00:23:18- Your Corps - Your Corps
00:23:19-Our Corps -Our Corps
00:23:21-Marine Corps -Marine Corps
00:23:22I don 't know, but I've been told
00:23:25I don 't know, but I've been told
00:23:28Eskimo pussy is mighty cold
00:23:31Eskimo pussy is mighty cold
00:23:34-Good -Good
00:23:36-Feels good -Feels good
00:23:37-Is good -Is good
00:23:39-Real good -Real good
00:23:40-Tastes good -Tastes good
00:23:42-Mighty good -Mighty good
00:23:43-Good for you -Good for you
00:23:45-Good for me -Good for me
00:23:49Trim them.
00:23:53Toe jam.
00:23:58Pop that blister.
00:24:09Jesus H. Christ.
00:24:12Private Pyle, why is your footlocker unlocked?
00:24:16Sir, I don't know, sir.
00:24:17Private Pyle, if there is one thing in this world that I hate...
00:24:21... it is an unlocked footlocker. You know that, don't you?
00:24:24-Sir, yes, sir. -lf it wasn't for dickheads like you...
00:24:27... there wouldn't be thievery in the world, would there?
00:24:30-Sir, no, sir. -Get down.
00:24:36Well, now, let's just see if there's anything missing.
00:24:42Holy Jesus.
00:24:45What is that?
00:24:47What the fuck is that?
00:24:50What is that, Private Pyle?
00:24:51Sir, a jelly doughnut, sir.
00:24:53-A jelly doughnut? -Sir, yes, sir.
00:24:55-How did it get here? -Sir, I took it from the mess hall, sir.
00:24:59Is chow allowed in the barracks, Private Pyle?
00:25:01-Sir, no, sir. -Are you allowed to eat jelly doughnuts?
00:25:05-Sir, no, sir. -And why not, Private Pyle?
00:25:07Sir, because I'm too heavy, sir.
00:25:09-Because you are a disgusting fat-body. -Sir, yes, sir.
00:25:14Then why did you hide a jelly doughnut in your footlocker, Private Pyle?
00:25:18Sir, because I was hungry, sir.
00:25:20Because you were hungry.
00:25:27Private Pyle has dishonored himself...
00:25:31... and dishonored the platoon.
00:25:34I have tried to help him, but I have failed.
00:25:38I have failed because you have not helped me.
00:25:43You people have not given Private Pyle...
00:25:47... the proper motivation.
00:25:50So from now on, whenever Private Pyle fucks up...
00:25:55... I will not punish him.
00:25:57I will punish all of you.
00:26:00And the way I see it, ladies...
00:26:02... you owe me for one jelly doughnut.
00:26:06Now get on your faces.
00:26:10Open your mouth.
00:26:12They're paying for it, you eat it.
00:26:14Ready, exercise.
00:26:17One, two, three, four
00:26:20I love the Marine Corps
00:26:22One, two, three, four
00:26:25I love the Marine Corps
00:26:27One, two, three, four
00:26:30I love the Marine Corps
00:26:32One, two, three, four
00:26:35I love the Marine Corps
00:26:38One, two, three, four....
00:26:41You really look like shit today, Leonard.
00:26:51Joker.
00:26:55Everybody hates me now.
00:27:00Even you.
00:27:05Nobody hates you, Leonard.
00:27:08You just keep making mistakes.
00:27:10Getting everybody in trouble.
00:27:15I can't do anything right.
00:27:20I need help.
00:27:26I'm trying to help you, Leonard.
00:27:30I'm really trying.
00:27:34Tuck your shirt in.
00:27:41One, two, three, 1 9.
00:27:43One, two, three, 20.
00:27:45One, two, three, 21.
00:27:47One, two, three, 22.
00:27:50One, two, three, 23.
00:27:52One, two, three, 24.
00:27:54One, two, three, 25.
00:27:56One, two, three, 26.
00:27:58One, two, three, 27.
00:28:00One, two, three, 28.
00:28:02One, two, three, 29.
00:28:05One, two, three, 30.
00:29:33Do it.
00:29:35Do it.
00:29:45Remember, it's just a bad dream, fat-boy.
00:30:17Port.
00:30:20Left shoulder.
00:30:25Right shoulder.
00:30:31Port.
00:30:36Do we love our beloved Corps, ladies?
00:30:39Semper fi, do or die. Gung ho. Gung ho. Gung ho.
00:30:43What makes the grass grow?
00:30:46Blood, blood, blood.
00:30:48What do we do for a living, ladies?
00:30:51Kill, kill, kill.
00:30:53I can't hear you.
00:30:54Kill, kill, kill.
00:30:56Bullshit. I still can't hear you.
00:30:59Kill, kill, kill.
00:31:02Do any of you people know who Charles Whitman was?
00:31:07None of you dumb-asses knows?
00:31:11Private Cowboy.
00:31:12Sir, he was that guy who shot all those people from that tower in Austin, Texas, sir.
00:31:17That's affirmative. Charles Whitman killed 1 2 people...
00:31:20... from a 28-story observation tower at the University of Texas.
00:31:24From distances of up to 400 yards.
00:31:28Anybody know who Lee Harvey Oswald was?
00:31:31Private Snowball.
00:31:33Sir, he shot Kennedy, sir.
00:31:35That's right. And do you know how far away he was?
00:31:38Sir, he was pretty far. From that book-suppository building, sir.
00:31:43All right, knock it off.
00:31:45Two hundred and fifty feet.
00:31:47He was 250 feet away and shooting at a moving target.
00:31:51Oswald got off three rounds with an old ltalian bolt-action rifle in only six seconds...
00:31:57... and scored two hits, including a head shot.
00:32:01Do any of you people know where these individuals learned how to shoot?
00:32:06Private Joker.
00:32:07Sir, in the Marines, sir.
00:32:10In the Marines. Outstanding.
00:32:12Those individuals showed what one motivated Marine and his rifle can do.
00:32:17And before you ladies leave my island...
00:32:20... you will all be able to do the same thing.
00:32:43Today...
00:32:45... is Christmas.
00:32:48There will be a magic show at 0930.
00:32:53Chaplain Charlie will tell you...
00:32:57... about how the free world will conquer communism...
00:33:02... with the aid of God and a few Marines.
00:33:07God has a hard-on for Marines...
00:33:11... because we kill everything we see.
00:33:16He plays his games...
00:33:18... we play ours.
00:33:21To show our appreciation for so much power...
00:33:26... we keep heaven packed with fresh souls.
00:33:32God was here before the Marine Corps.
00:33:37So you can give your heart to Jesus...
00:33:40... but your ass belongs to the Corps.
00:33:44Do you ladies understand?
00:33:46-Sir, yes, sir. -I can't hear you.
00:33:49Sir, yes, sir.
00:33:57It's been swabbed and brushed.
00:34:01Everything...
00:34:04... is clean.
00:34:10Beautiful.
00:34:13So that it slides perfect.
00:34:18Nice.
00:34:22Everything clean.
00:34:25Oiled.
00:34:29So that your action is beautiful.
00:34:35Smooth Charlene.
00:35:00Leonard talks to his rifle.
00:35:05Yeah.
00:35:14I don't think Leonard can hack it anymore.
00:35:18I think Leonard's a Section Eight.
00:35:24It don't surprise me.
00:35:37I wanna slip my tube steak into your sister.
00:35:43What will you take in trade?
00:35:48What do you got?
00:36:04Outstanding, Private Pyle.
00:36:06I think we finally found something that you do well.
00:36:09Sir, yes, sir.
00:36:14What's your sixth general order?
00:36:16Sir, the sixth general order is to receive and obey...
00:36:19... and pass on to the sentry who relieves me...
00:36:21... all orders....
00:36:23Sir, the private's sixth general....
00:36:25The private has been instructed but does not know.
00:36:28You slimy scumbag, get on your face and give me 25.
00:36:31Sir, aye, aye, sir.
00:36:37How many counts in that movement you just executed?
00:36:40-Sir, four counts, sir. -What's the idea of looking in the chamber?
00:36:43Sir, to guarantee the private is not giving the inspecting officer a loaded weapon, sir.
00:36:48What's your fifth general order?
00:36:49Sir, the fifth general order is to quit my post only when properly relieved, sir.
00:36:54What's this weapon's name, Private Pyle?
00:36:56Sir, the private's weapon's name is Charlene, sir.
00:36:59Private Pyle, you are definitely born-again hard.
00:37:02Hell, I may even allow you to serve as a rifleman in my beloved Corps.
00:37:05Sir, yes, sir.
00:37:10I don 't want no teenage queen
00:37:13I don 't want no teenage queen
00:37:15I just want my M14
00:37:18I just want my M14
00:37:21If I die in a combat zone
00:37:24If I die in a combat zone
00:37:27Box me up and ship me home
00:37:29Box me up and ship me home
00:37:32Pin my medals upon my chest
00:37:35Pin my medals upon my chest
00:37:38Tell my mom I done my best
00:37:41Tell my mom I done my best
00:37:45Graduation is only a few days away...
00:37:49... and the recruits of Platoon 3092 are salty.
00:37:53They are ready to eat their own guts and ask for seconds.
00:37:58The drill instructors are proud to see that we are growing beyond their control.
00:38:04The Marine Corps does not want robots.
00:38:07The Marine Corps wants killers.
00:38:10The Marine Corps wants to build indestructible men.
00:38:14Men without fear.
00:38:19Today, you people are no longer maggots.
00:38:25Today, you are Marines.
00:38:29You 're part of a brotherhood.
00:38:32From now on, until the day you die...
00:38:37... wherever you are...
00:38:39... every Marine is your brother.
00:38:44Most of you will go to Vietnam.
00:38:47Some of you will not come back.
00:38:51But always remember this:
00:38:53Marines die.
00:38:55That's what we're here for.
00:38:58But the Marine Corps lives forever...
00:39:01... and that means you live forever.
00:39:09-Peckett. -Sir, yes, sir.
00:39:110300, lnfantry.
00:39:13-Toe Jam. -Sir, yes, sir.
00:39:150300, lnfantry.
00:39:17-Adams. -Sir, yes, sir.
00:39:191 800, Engineers.
00:39:21You go out and find mines.
00:39:22-Cowboy. -Sir, yes, sir.
00:39:240300, lnfantry.
00:39:26-Taylor. -Sir, yes, sir.
00:39:280300, lnfantry.
00:39:30-Joker. -Sir, yes, sir.
00:39:32421 2, Basic Military Journalism.
00:39:35You gotta be shitting me, Joker.
00:39:37You think you're Mickey Spillane?
00:39:39You think you're some kind of fucking writer?
00:39:41Sir, I wrote for my high school newspaper, sir.
00:39:44Jesus H. Christ. You're not a writer, you're a killer.
00:39:48A killer, yes, sir.
00:39:49Gomer Pyle.
00:39:51-Gomer Pyle. -Sir, yes, sir.
00:39:53You forget your fucking name? 0300, lnfantry. You made it.
00:39:58-Perkins. -Sir, yes, sir.
00:40:04Our last night on the island.
00:40:07I draw fire watch.
00:41:12Hi, Joker.
00:41:37Are those live rounds?
00:41:47Seven-six-two millimeter.
00:41:52Full metal jacket.
00:42:04Leonard...
00:42:06... if Hartman comes in here and catches us...
00:42:12... we'll both be in a world of shit.
00:42:18I am...
00:42:21... in a world...
00:42:25... of shit.
00:42:31Left shoulder.
00:42:35Right shoulder.
00:42:39Lock and load.
00:42:46Order.
00:42:50This is my rifle.
00:42:52There are many like it, but this one is mine.
00:42:56My rifle is my best friend. It is my life.
00:42:59Get back in your bunks.
00:43:02What is this Mickey Mouse shit?
00:43:04What in the name of Jesus H. Christ are you animals doing in my head?
00:43:09Why is Private Pyle out of his bunk after lights out?
00:43:13Why is Private Pyle holding that weapon?
00:43:16Why aren't you stomping Private Pyle's guts out?
00:43:19Sir, it is the private's duty to inform the senior drill instructor...
00:43:23... that Private Pyle has a full magazine and has locked and loaded, sir.
00:43:35Now you listen to me, Private Pyle...
00:43:39... and you listen good.
00:43:42I want that weapon...
00:43:45... and I want it now.
00:43:48You will place that rifle on the deck at your feet...
00:43:52... and step back away from it.
00:44:02What is your major malfunction, numb-nuts?
00:44:06Didn't Mommy and Daddy show you enough attention when you were a child?
00:44:36Easy, Leonard.
00:44:41Go easy, man.
00:45:09No!
00:46:11Hey, baby.
00:46:13You got girlfriend Vietnam?
00:46:16Not just this minute.
00:46:19Well, baby, me so horny.
00:46:22Me so horny.
00:46:25Me love you long time.
00:46:28You party?
00:46:29Yeah, we might party.
00:46:31-How much? -Fifteen dollar.
00:46:34-Fifteen dollars for both of us. -No. Each you $1 5.
00:46:39Me love you long time.
00:46:41Me so horny.
00:46:43Fifteen dollar too beaucoup.
00:46:46-Five dollars each. -Me sucky-sucky.
00:46:49Me love you too much.
00:46:53Five dollars is all my mom allows me to spend.
00:46:57Okay. Ten dollar each.
00:47:00What do we get for $1 0?
00:47:03Everything you want.
00:47:06-Everything? -Everything.
00:47:10Well, old buddy, feel like spending some of your hard-earned money?
00:47:14Just a minute.
00:47:16You know, half these gook whores are serving officers in the Vietcong.
00:47:21The other half have got TB.
00:47:23Be sure you only fuck the ones that cough.
00:48:14That little sucker really had some moves on him, didn't he?
00:48:18Yeah.
00:48:21You know what really pisses me off about these people?
00:48:24What?
00:48:26We're supposed to be helping them, and they shit all over us every chance they get.
00:48:30I just can't feature that.
00:48:32Don't take it too hard, Rafterman. It's just business.
00:48:37I hate Da Nang, Joker. I wanna go out into the field.
00:48:41I've been in country almost three months...
00:48:43... and all I do is take handshake shots at award ceremonies.
00:48:46You'd get wasted your first day in the field and it'd be my fault.
00:48:49A high school girl could do my job.
00:48:51I wanna get out into the shit.
00:48:53I wanna get some trigger time.
00:48:57If you get killed, your mom will find me after I rotate back to the world...
00:49:01... and she'll beat the shit out of me.
00:49:02That's a negative, Rafterman.
00:49:08Okay, guys. Let's keep it short and sweet today. Anybody got anything new?
00:49:14There's a rumor going around that the Tet ceasefire is gonna be canceled.
00:49:18Rear-echelon paranoia.
00:49:20A bro in intelligence says Charlie might try to pull off something big during Tet.
00:49:24They say the same thing every year.
00:49:27There's a lot of talk about it, sir.
00:49:29I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.
00:49:31The Tet holiday is like the Fourth of July, Christmas and New Year all rolled into one.
00:49:35Every zipperhead in Nam, North and South, will be banging gongs...
00:49:39... barking at the moon and visiting his dead relatives.
00:49:42Right. Ann-Margret and entourage are due here next week.
00:49:45I want someone on the airfield and stick with her for a couple of days.
00:49:49-Rafterman, you take it. -Aye, aye, sir.
00:49:52And get some good low-angle stuff.
00:49:53Don't make it too obvious, but I wanna see fur and early-morning dew.
00:49:58-Yes, sir. -""Diplomats in dungarees.
00:50:00Marine engineers lend a helping hand rebuilding Dong Phuc village recently....""
00:50:04Chili, if we move Vietnamese, they are evacuees...
00:50:07... if they come to us to be evacuated, they are refugees.
00:50:11I'll make a note of it, sir.
00:50:13""NVA soldier deserts after reading pamphlets.
00:50:16A young North Vietnamese Army regular, who realized his side could not win...
00:50:20... deserted from his unit after reading Open Arms pamphlets.""
00:50:23That's good, Dave. But why say North Vietnamese Army regular?
00:50:26Is there an irregular? How about North Vietnamese Army soldier?
00:50:30I'll fix it up, sir.
00:50:32Lawrence Welk Show is out on TV in two weeks.
00:50:34Dave, do 1 00 words on it.
00:50:35-AFTV will give you some background stuff. -Sir.
00:50:38"" Not while we're eating.
00:50:40NVA learned Marines on a search-and-destroy mission...
00:50:43... don't like to be interrupted while eating chow.""
00:50:45Search-and-destroy. We have a new directive from MAF on this.
00:50:49In future, in place of search-and-destroy, substitute the phrase sweep-and-clear.
00:50:54-Sweep-and-clear, got it? -Got it. Very catchy.
00:50:58And, Joker, where's the weenie?
00:51:01Sir?
00:51:03The kill, Joker. The kill. I mean, all that fire, the grunts must have hit something.
00:51:07Didn't see them.
00:51:09Joker, I've told you, we run two basic stories here.
00:51:13Grunts who give half their pay to buy gooks toothbrushes and deodorants.
00:51:16Winning of hearts and minds. Okay?
00:51:19And combat action that results in a kill. Winning the war.
00:51:22Now, you must have seen blood trails. Drag marks?
00:51:26It was raining, sir.
00:51:28Well, that's why God passed the law of probability.
00:51:31Now rewrite it and give it a happy ending. Say, one killed.
00:51:35Make it a sapper or an officer. Which?
00:51:38Whichever you say.
00:51:39Grunts like reading about dead officers.
00:51:42Okay, an officer. How about a general?
00:51:45Joker...
00:51:47... maybe you'd like our guys to read the paper and feel bad.
00:51:51I mean, in case you didn't know it, this is not a very popular war.
00:51:54Now, it is our job to report the news...
00:51:56... that these why-are-we-here civilian newsmen ignore.
00:52:00Sir, maybe you should go out on some ops yourself.
00:52:04I'm sure you could find a lot more blood trails and drag marks.
00:52:08Joker, I've had my ass in the grass.
00:52:10Can't say I liked it much.
00:52:12Lots of bugs and too dangerous.
00:52:16As it happens, my present duties keep me where I belong...
00:52:19... in the rear with the gear.
00:52:29Tet. The year of the monkey.
00:52:32Vietnamese Lunar New Year's Eve.
00:52:35Down in Dogpatch, the gooks are shooting off fireworks to celebrate.
00:52:49I am fucking bored to death, man.
00:52:53I gotta get back in the shit.
00:52:56I ain't heard a shot fired in anger in weeks.
00:53:00Joker's so tough...
00:53:01... he'd eat the boogers out of a dead man's nose...
00:53:05... then ask for seconds.
00:53:07Listen up, pilgrim.
00:53:09A day without blood is like a day without sunshine.
00:53:14Shit.
00:53:16Joker thinks the bad bush is between an old mama-san's legs.
00:53:20He's never been in the shit.
00:53:22It's hard to talk about it, man. It's like on Hastings.
00:53:25You weren't on Operation Hastings, Payback.
00:53:28-You weren't even in country. -Eat shit and die...
00:53:30... you fucking Spanish-American. You fucking pogue.
00:53:33I was there, man.
00:53:35I was in the shit with the grunts.
00:53:37Don't listen to any of Payback's bullshit, Rafterman.
00:53:41Sometimes he thinks he's John Wayne.
00:53:45You listen to Joker, new guy.
00:53:47He knows ti ti.
00:53:48Very little.
00:53:50You know he's never been in the shit. He ain't got the stare.
00:53:53-The stare? -The thousand-yard stare.
00:53:57A Marine gets it after he's been in the shit for too long.
00:54:00It's like--
00:54:02It's like you're really seeing beyond.
00:54:05I got it.
00:54:06All field Marines got it.
00:54:08And you'll have it too.
00:54:10I will?
00:54:11Hey, Payback...
00:54:13... how do you stop five black dudes from raping a white chick?
00:54:17-Fuck you, Stork. -Throw them a basketball.
00:54:24-lncoming. -Oh, shit.
00:54:28Them are outgoing.
00:54:32-That ain't outgoing. -That ain't outgoing.
00:54:34Now, what did I just say?
00:55:14Hey, I hope they're just fucking with us.
00:55:18-I ain't ready for this shit. -Amen.
00:56:14Cease fire.
00:56:20-Cease fire. -Cease fire.
00:56:26Cease fire.
00:56:39The enemy...
00:56:41... has very deceitfully...
00:56:43... taken advantage of the Tet ceasefire...
00:56:46... to launch an offensive all over the country.
00:56:50So far, we 've had it pretty easy here.
00:56:54But we seem to be the exception.
00:56:57Charlie has hit every major military target in Vietnam and hit them hard.
00:57:02In Saigon the United States Embassy has been overrun by suicide squads.
00:57:08-Shit. -Jesus Christ, man.
00:57:10Khe Sanh is standing by to be overrun.
00:57:15We also have reports that a division of NVA...
00:57:17... has occupied all of the city of Hue south of the Perfume River.
00:57:23In strategic terms, Charlie's cut the country in half...
00:57:26... the civilian press are about to wet their pants...
00:57:29... and we've heard even Cronkite's gonna say the war is now unwinnable.
00:57:34In other words...
00:57:36... it's a huge shit sandwich and we're all gonna have to take a bite.
00:57:44Sir.
00:57:46Does this mean that Ann-Margret's not coming?
00:57:54Joker, I want you to get straight up to Phu Bai.
00:57:58Captain January will need all his people.
00:58:02-Yes, sir. -And, Joker...
00:58:04... you will take off that damn button.
00:58:07How's it gonna look if you get killed wearing a peace symbol?
00:58:11Sir.
00:58:13Permission to go with Joker?
00:58:16-Permission granted. -Thank you, sir.
00:58:18Sir, permission not to take Rafterman with me?
00:58:21You still here?
00:58:23Vanish, Joker, most ricky-tick, and take Rafterman with you.
00:58:27You're responsible for him.
00:59:05Get some.
00:59:08Get some.
00:59:12Get some. Get some. Yeah. Yeah.
00:59:16Get some. Get some. Come on. Come on.
00:59:24Get some.
00:59:33Get some, baby.
00:59:35Get some. Get some. Get some.
00:59:39Get some. Get some, come on. Get it, come on.
00:59:41Get some. Get some. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:59:44I've got you, mother.
00:59:51Anyone who runs is a VC.
00:59:55Anyone who stands still...
00:59:57... is a well-disciplined VC.
01:00:02You guys ought to do a story about me sometime.
01:00:07Why should we do a story about you?
01:00:11Because I'm so fucking good.
01:00:13That ain't no shit neither.
01:00:15I've done got me 1 57 dead gooks killed.
01:00:20And 50 water buffaloes too.
01:00:23Them are all certified.
01:00:26Any women or children?
01:00:29Sometimes.
01:00:32How can you shoot women and children?
01:00:36Easy.
01:00:38You just don't lead them so much.
01:00:42Ain't war hell?
01:01:20Top, we wanna get in the shit.
01:01:22Down the road. Two-Five.
01:01:24Two-Five. Outstanding. Thanks, Top.
01:01:52Excuse me.
01:01:53Sir.
01:01:55We're looking for 1 st Platoon, Hotel Two-Five.
01:01:58I got a bro named Cowboy there.
01:02:00You people one-one?
01:02:01No, sir. We're reporters from Stars and Stripes.
01:02:04-Stars and Stripes? -Yes, sir.
01:02:06I'm Cowboy's platoon commander.
01:02:08Cowboy's just down the road in the platoon area.
01:02:11-You mind if we tag along, sir? -No problem. Welcome aboard.
01:02:15By the way, my name's Schinoski. Walter J. Schinoski.
01:02:18My people call me Mr. Touchdown.
01:02:21I played ball for Notre Dame.
01:02:22-Notre Dame? -Yeah.
01:02:24-All right. -You here to make Cowboy famous?
01:02:27Never happen, sir.
01:02:28Well, if you people came looking for a story, this is your lucky day.
01:02:33We got Condition Red and we're definitely expecting rain.
01:02:36Outstanding, sir. We taking care of business?
01:02:39Well, the NVA are dug in deep.
01:02:41Hotel Company's still working this side of the river...
01:02:44... street by street and house by house.
01:02:46Charles definitely got his shit together...
01:02:48... but we're still getting some decent kills here.
01:02:50We heard some scuttlebutt, sir, about the NVA executing a lot of gook civilians.
01:02:55That's affirmative.
01:02:56I saw some bodies about a half a klick this side of Phu Cam Canal.
01:03:00Will you show me where, sir?
01:03:05Here's the canal.
01:03:29The dead have been covered with lime.
01:03:34The dead know only one thing:
01:03:37It is better to be alive.
01:03:46Excuse me?
01:03:48-Good morning, lieutenant. -Morning.
01:03:50I make it 20. Is that the official body count, sir?
01:03:54What outfit are you men with?
01:03:56Sir, we're reporters from Stars and Stripes.
01:03:58-Oh, I see. -I'm Sergeant Joker...
01:04:00... and this photographer is Rafterman.
01:04:02I'm Lieutenant Cleves and I'm from Hartford, Connecticut.
01:04:05-Have you got a body count, sir? -We think it's 20.
01:04:08Do you know how it happened, sir?
01:04:11Well, it seems the NVA came in with a list of gook names.
01:04:14Government officials, policemen, ARVlN officers, school teachers.
01:04:19They went around to their houses real polite...
01:04:21... and asked them to report the next day for political reeducation.
01:04:25Everybody who turned up got shot.
01:04:28Some they buried alive.
01:04:30Ready.
01:04:32Colonel.
01:04:35Marine, what is that button on your body armor?
01:04:38A peace symbol, sir.
01:04:40-Where did you get it? -I don't remember, sir.
01:04:43What is that written on your helmet?
01:04:45Born to kill, sir.
01:04:46You write born to kill on your helmet and wear a peace button.
01:04:50What's that supposed to be, some kind of sick joke?
01:04:52-No, sir. -What is it supposed to mean?
01:04:55I don't know, sir.
01:04:56-You don't know much. -No, sir.
01:04:58Get your head and your ass wired together or I will take a shit on you.
01:05:01-Yes, sir. -Now answer my question...
01:05:03... or you'll be standing tall before the man.
01:05:06I was trying to suggest something about the duality of man, sir.
01:05:09-The what? -The duality of man. The Jungian thing, sir.
01:05:14-Whose side are you on, son? -Our side, sir.
01:05:16-You love your country? -Yes, sir.
01:05:18How about getting with the program.
01:05:20Jump on the team and come on in for the big win.
01:05:22Yes, sir.
01:05:24All I've asked of my Marines is for them to obey my orders as they would God's word.
01:05:28We are here to help the Vietnamese...
01:05:30... because inside every gook there is an American trying to get out.
01:05:34It's a hardball world, son.
01:05:36We've gotta try to keep our heads until this peace craze blows over.
01:05:40Aye, aye, sir.
01:05:51Hey, bro. We're looking for 1 st Platoon, Hotel Two-Five.
01:05:55Around the back.
01:06:06-First Platoon? -Yeah, through there.
01:06:32Hey, Lone Ranger.
01:06:39-Holy shit. It's the Joker. -You old motherfucker.
01:06:47What's happening?
01:06:49Thought I hoped I'd never see you again, you piece of shit.
01:06:53What's happening, man?
01:06:55Oh, just waiting to get back to the land of the big PX.
01:06:58Yeah? Well, why go back?
01:07:00Here or there, samey-same.
01:07:02-Been getting any? -Only your sister.
01:07:04Well, better my sister than my mom, though my mom's not bad.
01:07:09Hey, you Hogs, listen up.
01:07:11This is my bro, Joker, from the lsland, and this is...?
01:07:15-Rafterman. -Rafterman.
01:07:17They're from Stars and Stripes. They'll make you famous.
01:07:20-Fucking A. -Yeah.
01:07:21We're the Lusthog Squad.
01:07:23We're life-takers and heartbreakers.
01:07:26We shoot them full of holes and fill them full of lead.
01:07:34You a photographer?
01:07:38No, I'm a combat correspondent.
01:07:42Oh, you seen much combat?
01:07:47Well, I've seen a little on TV.
01:07:54You're a real comedian.
01:07:58Well, they call me the Joker.
01:08:02Well, I got a joke for you.
01:08:04I'm gonna tear you a new asshole.
01:08:11Well, pilgrim...
01:08:13... only after you eat the peanuts out of my shit.
01:08:23You talk the talk.
01:08:27Do you walk the walk?
01:08:34Now, you might not believe it...
01:08:36... but under fire, Animal Mother's one of the finest human beings in the world.
01:08:41All he needs is somebody to throw hand grenades at him the rest of his life.
01:08:45That's a roger, come on. Sit down. Come on, new guy.
01:08:52Hey, jungle-bunny.
01:08:55Thank God for the sickle cell, huh?
01:08:58Yeah, Mother.
01:09:01Hey, photographer.
01:09:04You wanna take a good picture?
01:09:07Here, man.
01:09:09Take this.
01:09:19This is my bro.
01:09:32This is his party.
01:09:34He's the guest of honor.
01:09:37Today is his birthday.
01:09:40Happy birthday, zipperhead.
01:09:44I will never forget this day.
01:09:47The day I came to Hue City and fought 1 million NVA gooks.
01:09:53I love the little commie bastards, man, I really do.
01:09:56These enemy grunts are as hard as slant-eyed drill instructors.
01:10:02These are great days we're living, bros.
01:10:06We are jolly green giants, walking the earth with guns.
01:10:10These people we wasted here today...
01:10:13... are the finest human beings we will ever know.
01:10:18After we rotate back to the world...
01:10:20... we're gonna miss not having anyone around who's worth shooting.
01:11:30-Stay put, keep your heads down. -Stay put.
01:11:33Stay put.
01:11:49Shit.
01:11:59Delta Six Actual, this is Murphy. Over.
01:12:04Delta Six Actual, this is Murphy. Over.
01:12:09Delta Six.
01:12:11Delta Six, we are receiving incoming fire from the vill.
01:12:14The lieutenant is down.
01:12:16We're going to stop here and check out what's in front of us. Over.
01:12:25Okay, Lusthog Squad, listen up.
01:12:28Gonna move up these roads and check the vill.
01:12:30I want the third team up this road here.
01:12:33First and second fire team behind me up this other road, okay?
01:12:37Let's go. Let's get it done.
01:17:07Is that you, John Wayne? Is this me?
01:17:09Hey, start the cameras. This is Vietnam: The Movie.
01:17:13Yeah, Joker can be John Wayne, I'll be a horse.
01:17:15-T. H. E. Rock can be a rock. -I'll be Ann-Margret.
01:17:18Animal Mother can be a rabid buffalo.
01:17:20-I'll be General Custer. -Who'll be the lndian?
01:17:23Hey, we'll let the gooks play the lndians.
01:18:04You're going home now.
01:18:10Semper fi.
01:18:15We're mean Marines, sir.
01:18:21Go easy, bros.
01:18:27Better you than me.
01:18:33Well, at least they died for a good cause.
01:18:36What cause was that?
01:18:40Freedom.
01:18:43Flush out your headgear, new guy.
01:18:47You think we waste gooks for freedom?
01:18:51This is a slaughter.
01:18:55If I'm gonna get my balls blown off for a word...
01:18:59... my word is poon tang.
01:19:05Tough break for Hand Job.
01:19:09He was all set to get shipped out on a medical.
01:19:14What was the matter with him?
01:19:18He was jerking off 1 0 times a day.
01:19:22It's no shit. At least 1 0 times a day.
01:19:28Last week he was sent down to Da Nang to see the Navy head shrinker.
01:19:33The crazy fucker starts jerking off in the waiting room.
01:19:38Instant Section Eight.
01:19:41He was just waiting for his papers to clear Division.
01:19:47You ready? Turn over.
01:19:52Hue City interviews, roll 34.
01:19:56Well, like-- Like you see, you know, it's a major city...
01:20:00... so we have to assault with tanks, we roll in the streets.
01:20:04So they send us in first to squat...
01:20:06... make sure that there are no little....
01:20:11No Vietnamese waiting with B-40 rockets to blow the tanks away.
01:20:15So we clear it out and we roll the tanks in...
01:20:17... and basically blow the place to hell.
01:20:20When we're in Hue, when we're in Hue City...
01:20:24... it's like a war, you know...
01:20:26... Iike what-- What--
01:20:28What I thought about a war, what I thought a war was--
01:20:31You know, was supposed to be.
01:20:35There's the enemy, you kill them.
01:20:38I don't think there's any question about it. I mean, we're the best.
01:20:41I mean, all that bullshit about the Air Cav....
01:20:44When the shit hits the fan, who do they call?
01:20:46They call Mother Green and her killing machine.
01:20:49Do I think America belongs in Vietnam?
01:20:53I don't know. I belong in Vietnam, I'll tell you that.
01:20:57Can I quote LBJ?
01:21:01""l will not send American boys...
01:21:05...8 or 1 0,000 miles around the world...
01:21:07... to do a job that Asian boys ought to be doing for themselves.""
01:21:13Personally think they don't really want to be involved in this war...
01:21:18... you know, I mean, like they-- It's sort of like...
01:21:22... they took away our freedom and gave it to the gookers, you know.
01:21:26But they don't want it.
01:21:27They'd rather be alive than free, I guess, you know.
01:21:30Poor, dumb bastards.
01:21:33Well, the ones I'm fighting at are some pretty-- Pretty bad boys.
01:21:38I'm not real....
01:21:41I'm not real keen on some of these fellas...
01:21:44... that are supposedly on our side.
01:21:47I keep meeting them coming the other way.
01:21:52Yeah.
01:21:54I mean, we're getting killed for these people...
01:21:56... and they don't even appreciate it.
01:21:59They think it's a big joke.
01:22:01Well, if you ask me...
01:22:04... we're shooting the wrong gooks.
01:22:06Well, it depends on the situation. I mean, I'm here to take combat photos.
01:22:10But if the shit gets too thick, I mean, I'll go to the rifle.
01:22:15What do I think about America's involvement in the war?
01:22:18Well, I think we should win.
01:22:20I hate Vietnam.
01:22:22There's not one horse in this whole country.
01:22:24They don't have one horse in Vietnam.
01:22:27There's something basically wrong with that.
01:22:31Well, if they'd send us more guys, maybe...
01:22:33... and bomb the hell out of the North, they might give up.
01:22:38I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
01:22:44I wanted to meet interesting and stimulating people of an ancient culture...
01:22:48... and kill them.
01:22:50I wanted to be the first kid on my block to get a confirmed kill.
01:23:14Ten-hut.
01:23:18-All right. -My, oh, my.
01:23:19-Good morning, little schoolgirl. -Look at this lady.
01:23:22I'm a little schoolboy too.
01:23:25My, my, my.
01:23:27-What you got there, chief? -Do you want number one fucky?
01:23:31Hey, any of you boys want number one fucky?
01:23:34I'm so horny, I can't even get a piece of hand.
01:23:37-Me want sucky. -Sucky, fucky, smoke cigarette in her pussy.
01:23:40She give you everything you want, long time.
01:23:43Everything you want. Hey, how much there, chief?
01:23:47-Fifteen dollars each. -No.
01:23:52Fifteen dollar beaucoup money.
01:23:54Five dollar each.
01:23:56Come on, she love you good.
01:23:58Boom-boom long time.
01:23:59-Ten dollars. -Five dollars.
01:24:01No. Ten dollars.
01:24:03Be glad to trade you some ARVlN rifles.
01:24:05Ain't never been fired and only dropped once.
01:24:09Okay, $5. You give me.
01:24:11-Okay, okay. -All right.
01:24:15Let's get mounted.
01:24:21Something wrong there, chief?
01:24:23She says no boom-boom with soul brother.
01:24:25What the motherfuck?
01:24:27She says soul brother too beaucoup, too beaucoup.
01:24:30What is this, man?
01:24:31I think what he's trying to tell you is you black boys pack too much meat.
01:24:37Too beaucoup, too beaucoup.
01:24:40Oh, shit.
01:24:42This baby-san looks like she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.
01:24:46She say too beaucoup, too beaucoup.
01:24:49Excuse me, ma'am.
01:24:52What we have here, little yellow sister...
01:24:54... is a magnificent specimen of pure Alabama blacksnake.
01:24:59But it ain't too goddamn beaucoup.
01:25:02Okay, okay.
01:25:05Okay, okay.
01:25:08All right. Yeah. This is my boogie.
01:25:11-Hey, we need a batting order. -I'm going first.
01:25:13Back off, white bread. Don't get between a dog and his meat.
01:25:16All fucking niggers must fucking hang.
01:25:20-Hey, Animal, man. -You son of a--
01:25:23Hey, hey, I won't be long. I'll skip the foreplay.
01:25:28-I don't want it after you, man. -Fuck you.
01:26:03Intelligence passed the word down...
01:26:06... that during the night the NVA had pulled out of our area...
01:26:09... to positions across the Perfume River.
01:26:12Our squad is sent on patrol to check out the report.
01:26:48Face outboard and take cover. Do it.
01:27:05Shit.
01:27:15He ain't gonna make it.
01:27:19Shit.
01:27:28Hotel One Actual, this is Cowboy.
01:27:32Hotel One Actual, this is Cowboy.
01:27:37Hotel One. Over.
01:27:38Murph, this is Cowboy.
01:27:41Crazy's hit. Booby trap.
01:27:45Wait, One.
01:27:48Okay. You're senior NCO, Cowboy. You're in charge.
01:27:53-Continue with the patrol... -Shit.
01:27:54-... and call in at the next checkpoint. -Shit.
01:27:57Roger. Out.
01:28:06I ' m squad leader.
01:28:11Follow you anywhere, scumbag.
01:28:14All right.
01:28:17He's dead.
01:28:59Cowboy.
01:29:08What's up?
01:29:09I think we made a mistake at the last checkpoint.
01:29:13Here, see what you think.
01:29:17I think we're here...
01:29:21... and we should be here.
01:29:25-We're here? -Yeah.
01:29:28-We should be here? -Yeah. Yeah, that's right.
01:29:37Fuck.
01:29:44What do you think?
01:29:47Well, I think we should change direction.
01:30:04Okay.
01:30:06We'll change direction.
01:30:19What's up?
01:30:21Changing direction.
01:30:23What are we, lost?
01:30:25Joker, shut the fuck up.
01:30:28Okay, listen up.
01:30:31-Can you hear me? -Yeah.
01:30:33Okay, we're changing direction.
01:30:35We're heading over that way.
01:30:37Eightball's gonna go over there and see can he find a way through.
01:30:40-Got it? -Got it.
01:30:43Eightball, let's dance.
01:30:47Put a nigger behind the trigger.
01:31:50Fuck.
01:32:08Cease fire.
01:32:09Cease fire, goddamn it.
01:32:11Cool it, goddamn it. Cool it. Cease fire.
01:32:14-Hold it. -Cease fire.
01:32:16-Cease fire. -Cease fire.
01:32:17Okay, listen up. Did anybody see a sniper? Did anybody see anything?
01:32:21Anybody see a sniper?
01:32:23-Nothing. -Negative.
01:32:24Okay, then save your ammo. Nobody fire till I tell you.
01:32:29Eightball.
01:32:31No, no. Cease fire. Cease fire.
01:32:33Animal, cease fire.
01:32:35Cowboy, it's Sergeant Murphy.
01:32:37This is Cowboy. Over.
01:32:39This is Murphy. What is your present position? Over.
01:32:43Murph, we're receiving enemy sniper fire.
01:32:45Eightball is down.
01:32:47Our position is about half a klick north of Checkpoint Four.
01:32:50Believe possible strong enemy forces occupying buildings in front of us.
01:32:54Request immediate tank support. Over.
01:32:58Roger. Understand.
01:32:59I'll see what I can do. Over.
01:33:02Roger. Over and out.
01:33:04-Stay close. -Got it.
01:33:07Okay, listen up. I think we're being set up for an ambush.
01:33:12I think there may be strong enemy forces in those buildings over there.
01:33:15I've requested tank support.
01:33:17We're gonna sit tight till it comes, but keep your eyes open.
01:33:21If they decide to hit us, we'll have to pull back fast.
01:33:26Goddamn it. Halt. Cease your fire, Mother.
01:33:29-Cease your fucking fire. -Cowboy.
01:33:31-What? -We can't leave him out there.
01:33:33We're not leaving him, we'll get him when the tank comes up.
01:33:36He's hit three fucking times. He can't wait that long.
01:33:38I seen this before.
01:33:41That sniper's just trying to suck us in, one at a time.
01:33:46Goddamn it. No.
01:33:49-Goddamn it, cease fire. Cease fire. -Man, fuck this--
01:33:52Fuck this shit. I'm going in to bring him out.
01:33:54-No, you sit the fuck down, goddamn it. -Cover me.
01:34:14Cease fire, he's there. Cease fire, he's there.
01:34:19Cease fire.
01:34:32Hold your fire.
01:34:34Hold your fire.
01:34:36Cease fire, you can't see the sniper.
01:34:39Save the ammo. Nobody fire till I tell you. Nobody.
01:34:48Hold your fire.
01:34:51What the fuck do we do now, Cowboy?
01:34:55Give me that fucking radio.
01:35:01Murph? This is Cowboy. Over.
01:35:04This is Murphy. Over.
01:35:05Murph, we're in some deep shit. I got two men down.
01:35:08What's the story on that fucking tank? Over.
01:35:12Sorry, Cowboy. No luck so far with the tank.
01:35:15Will advise. Over.
01:35:19Roger. Out.
01:35:21Numb-nut bastards.
01:35:24-Okay, listen up. -Listen up.
01:35:28Can't afford to wait for the tank.
01:35:30I think they're gonna hit us any minute.
01:35:32When they do, we won't have time to pull out.
01:35:34We gotta do it now. Let's get ready to move.
01:35:37-Ready to pull out. -Wait a minute. Hold it.
01:35:40Hold it, nobody's pulling out. There's only one sniper there.
01:35:44Back off, Mother.
01:35:45I'm calling the plays. I say we're pulling out.
01:35:49Well, what about Doc Jay and Eightball?
01:35:51I know it's a shitty thing to do, but we can't refuse to accept the situation.
01:35:55We're not leaving Doc Jay and Eightball out there.
01:35:57Doc Jay and Eightball are wasted.
01:35:59-You know that. -Bullshit. Come on, you guys.
01:36:02We gotta bring them back. Let's get them, let's do it.
01:36:05Stand down, Mother. That's a direct order.
01:36:11Fuck you, Cowboy. Fuck all you assholes.
01:36:17-Goddamn it. -Fucking son of a bitch.
01:36:21You motherfucker.
01:36:39Doc. Doc. Doc.
01:36:43Where's the sniper?
01:36:48Doc, where's the sniper?
01:37:00Shit.
01:37:04Shit. Fuck.
01:37:20Fuck.
01:37:54Hey, Cowboy.
01:37:56Yeah?
01:37:59Doc Jay and Eightball are wasted.
01:38:03There's only one sniper, nothing else.
01:38:07Move up the squad, you're clear up to here.
01:38:11Come on.
01:38:16Son of a bitch.
01:38:22-Okay, listen up. -Listen up.
01:38:25No-Doze, Stutten, Donlon, Rock, you come with me, we'll take a look.
01:38:30The rest of you all stay put and cover our ass.
01:38:32We may be coming back in a big hurry.
01:38:36-I'm going with you. -I'm coming too.
01:38:39Okay.
01:38:41-You all set? -Yeah.
01:38:42Let's move out.
01:38:44Let's do it.
01:39:23Hey, Cowboy.
01:39:25Top of the black building, around the corner.
01:39:47Donlon, give me that radio.
01:39:52Murphy, this is Cowboy. Over.
01:40:04-Cowboy. -Holy shit. That sniper's got a clean shot.
01:40:07Get him the fuck out of here.
01:40:15-I ain't got a first aid. -I don't believe this shit.
01:40:18-Give me your hand. -Shut up.
01:40:21-Take it easy, Cowboy. -Don't move.
01:40:22-Shit. -That son of a bitch.
01:40:24-You'll be all right. -You're going home.
01:40:26-Shut up. -Don't shit me.
01:40:29You know I'm not gonna shit you, man. You're my favorite turd.
01:40:33Come on. Easy.
01:40:35Here you go.
01:40:38-Cowboy. -Hang on, man. Hang on.
01:40:45I can hack it. I can hack it.
01:40:55-I can hack it. -You can hack it, man.
01:41:54Let's go get some payback.
01:42:02Okay.
01:42:10Okay.
01:42:19Watch that fucking hole.
01:42:23Throw some smoke.
01:42:41Okay, ready?
01:43:23Donlon, Rock, that way. You two, with me.
01:43:32Joker, in there. New guy.
01:45:39We got the sniper.
01:46:15Joker?
01:46:17Yo.
01:46:19What's up?
01:46:22We got the sniper.
01:46:37I saved Joker's ass.
01:46:39I got the sniper.
01:46:41I fucking blew her away.
01:46:45Am I bad?
01:46:47Am I a life-taker? Am I a heartbreaker?
01:47:09What's she saying?
01:47:15She's praying.
01:47:20No more boom-boom for this baby-san.
01:47:27There's nothing we can do for her.
01:47:31She's dead meat.
01:47:37Okay.
01:47:40Let's get the fuck out of here.
01:47:47What about her?
01:47:52Fuck her.
01:47:55Let her rot.
01:48:13We can't just leave her here.
01:48:19Hey, asshole.
01:48:21Cowboy's wasted.
01:48:24You're fresh out of friends.
01:48:27I'm running this squad now...
01:48:29... and I say we leave the gook for the mother-loving rats.
01:48:38I'm not trying to run this squad.
01:48:42I'm just saying we can't leave her like this.
01:48:56Shoot me.
01:49:01Shoot...
01:49:03... me.
01:49:06Shoot...
01:49:08... me.
01:49:10Shoot.
01:49:14Shoot.
01:49:17If you wanna waste her, go on...
01:49:22... waste her.
01:49:24Shoot...
01:49:28... me.
01:49:34Shoot me.
01:49:38Shoot...
01:49:41... me.
01:49:43Shoot...
01:49:46... me.
01:49:48Shoot.
01:49:52Shoot.
01:49:57Shoot.
01:50:00Shoot.
01:50:39Joker...
01:50:41... we're gonna have to put you up for the Congressional Medal of Ugly.
01:50:49Hard-core, man.
01:50:53Fucking hard-core.
01:51:13We have nailed our names in the pages of history enough for today.
01:51:19We hump down to the Perfume River to set in for the night.
01:52:02My thoughts drift back to erect-nipple wet dreams...
01:52:06... about Mary Jane Rottencrotch and the great homecoming-fuck fantasy.
01:52:13I am so happy that I am alive...
01:52:16... in one piece and short.
01:52:20I am in a world of shit, yes...
01:52:23... but I am alive.
01:52:26And I am not afraid.

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