|00:01:05||-Guess how fast we're going now.
-I don't care, I'm having a baby!|
|00:01:09||Hundred and five miles an hour,
you believe that?|
|00:01:17||Reese, you just passed the hospital!|
|00:01:21||-The baby's coming, he's coming now!
-All right, all right, hold on.|
|00:01:25||-Okay, but I think he might be stuck.
-Grab onto something. Ready?|
|00:01:28||One, two, three!|
|00:01:36||It's a baby boy.|
|00:01:41||I'm happy that Waffle House
was okay with me coming here...|
|00:01:44||...to talk to y'all about
|00:01:47||And, y'all, that's pretty much,
in a shell...|
|00:01:49||...what it's like to manage
a Waffle House.|
|00:01:52||Ma'am, I don't know what else
you want me to say to them.|
|00:01:55||And I'm also gonna need to know
where your commode's at.|
|00:01:57||Okay, let's give him a round
of applause. Thank you.|
|00:02:01||Okay, next up is Ricky Bobby.
Ricky, is your father here?|
I haven't seen my daddy in years.|
|00:02:08||But my mama say he's out
|00:02:10||...and, well, dipping his wick
in anything that moves.|
|00:02:14||Okay, kids, that's enough.
We're gonna move on to Brennan.|
|00:02:17||Don't pay them no mind, Ricky.|
|00:02:19||Thanks, Cal. Shake and Bake.
You'll be my best friend forever.|
|00:02:23||--his job is like as a prison guard.|
|00:02:25||Excuse me, darling.
I'm Reese Bobby.|
|00:02:28||I'm here for career day
with my son, Ricky.|
-Hey there, boy!|
|00:02:33||Man, you got big. How long's it been?
Three, four months?|
|00:02:38||Man, I gotta lay off the peyote.|
there's no smoking in here.|
|00:02:42||It's all right, I'm a volunteer fireman.|
|00:02:44||Okay, I am a semi-professional
|00:02:48||...and an amateur tattoo artist.|
|00:02:53||And the first thing you gotta learn
if you're gonna be a racecar driver...|
|00:02:56||...is you don't listen to losers...|
|00:02:58||-...like your know-it-all teacher here.
-Okay, I think that's enough.|
|00:03:01||Your teacher wants you to go slow,
and she's wrong...|
|00:03:05||...because it's the fastest who gets paid
and it's the fastest who gets laid.|
You know what I'm talking about.|
|00:03:14||You people are in the wrong
on this one!|
|00:03:17||So in the wrong!|
|00:03:18||This is egregious,
do you hear me? Egregious!|
|00:03:25||We were cellmates together, Andy.
You got payback coming!|
|00:03:32||Don't listen to these people, Ricky.
You're a winner.|
|00:03:35||You got the gift. Always remember,
if you ain't first, you're last.|
|00:03:43||lf you ain't first, you're last.|
|00:03:47||-See you when you're grown up.
-Dad! Come back, Dad!|
|00:04:03||It's a hot one here in Talladega...|
|00:04:05||...and this crowd of over 1 80,000
is enjoying one heck of a day.|
|00:04:23||Yo, Terry. Terry, we got the caution.
Bring it in for a pit. Let's work on it.|
|00:04:38||All right, fellas, let's go.|
|00:04:41||Looking good. Yes, come on.|
|00:04:44||Keep it up, baby.|
|00:04:46||-All right, way to go.
-Go, way to go.|
|00:04:49||Nice jack work, Ricky.|
|00:04:50||Hey, Shake and Bake, Cal.|
|00:04:52||-Shake and Bake!
-Terry, it's all on you, bro. You go.|
|00:04:55||Go, baby, go.
Wait, what are you doing?|
|00:04:58||-I gotta take a piss.
-Go, go, go!|
|00:05:01||lt doesn't matter, Lucius.
We're in last place. Relax.|
|00:05:03||Jeez, I gotta go take a whiz.
Get off my ass.|
this is what I'm talking about.|
|00:05:08||That's why this group right here
is the laughingstock of NASCAR.|
|00:05:12||Face it, we suck.|
|00:05:14||It's not always bad to be in last place.
Here's some things we can focus on:|
|00:05:18||One, we tried hard.
And two, we're still dear friends.|
|00:05:21||Glenn, shut up.|
|00:05:23||I see Terry.
He's having a chicken sandwich.|
|00:05:26||Hey, fellas! These are really good.
You should try one.|
|00:05:30||That place actually makes
a nice sauce.|
|00:05:33||Let me eat this,
then I gotta make a phone call...|
|00:05:35||-...then I'm coming back, all right?
-This is the bottom line.|
|00:05:38||lf we don't get that car
back on the track...|
|00:05:40||...our sponsors are gonna
shit a chicken.|
|00:05:43||Now, is there anyone out there
who wants to go fast? Anybody?|
|00:05:49||I wanna go fast.|
|00:05:51||Hey, get him a suit. Hurry up,
make it snappy. Let's go.|
|00:05:55||-Hustle up, hustle up.
|00:05:57||Remember when we got kicked out of
biology for playing with Matchbox cars?|
-Who's retarded now?|
-Hey, what are you doing after this?|
|00:06:07||-After the race?
|00:06:09||I don't know, but it feels like
we're wasting a lot of time.|
|00:06:12||No, I know, I know.
I'm just excited, man!|
|00:06:14||-Yeah, I know. Yeah.
-Hey! I love you!|
|00:06:20||Shake and Bake! Get some!|
|00:06:23||You're my best friend!
You're my best friend!|
-I'm in there with you!|
|00:06:29||-I gotta get going!
-That's Ricky, baby!|
|00:06:38||That's my boy, Ricky!|
just remember one thing:|
|00:06:46||lf you wreck that car,
that's 200 grand out of your pocket...|
|00:06:49||...so let's take it nice and slow, okay?|
|00:06:51||With all due respect, Lucius,
I'm gonna do some driving.|
|00:06:58||Excuse me, coming through.|
|00:07:01||Apparently, we've got a situation for
the Laughing Clown, number 26 car.|
|00:07:05||Terry Cheveaux is refusing to drive.
One of his crew members...|
|00:07:08||...has taken the wheel.|
|00:07:10||Hey, just wanted to share a little piece
of personaI information with you.|
|00:07:13||I got a chubby right now...|
|00:07:15||...because this is one of the most
awesome experiences of my life...|
|00:07:18||...because I'm getting to
drive a racecar!|
|00:07:20||I can't believe it! Oh, my God!|
|00:07:40||Wow, that was cool.|
|00:07:43||Come on, come on.|
|00:07:53||The big story from Talladega:|
|00:07:54||Little-known jack-man Ricky Bobby
places third in the Dennit machine.|
|00:07:57||Ricky, first of all,
where did you learn to drive like that?|
|00:08:01||ln a car.
Car handle really good. Yeah.|
|00:08:05||Can you speak up, Ricky?|
lt handled reaI good.|
|00:08:09||So, what do you think, Mr. Dennit?
He sure can drive.|
|00:08:12||He's got guts.
Dennit Racing needs a racer like him.|
|00:08:15||Come on, Dad.
He's just a stupid cowboy.|
|00:08:17||Look how bad he is
in that interview.|
|00:08:19||Junior, driving has got nothing
to do with interviews.|
|00:08:23||I just wish to hell you had
a little more stupid cowboy in you.|
|00:08:26||I felt like I was on a spaceship and....|
|00:08:31||I'm not sure
what to do with my hands.|
|00:08:33||Be good to hold them down
by your side.|
|00:08:35||We're really happy
with what was going on.|
|00:08:39||And at the end of the day, you know,
you gotta be happy.|
|00:08:44||-What did you say his name was again?
-His name is Ricky. Ricky Bobby.|
He's got two first names.|
|00:08:51||Whatever his name is,
let's get him over here.|
|00:08:53||Everything ended up fine.|
|00:08:56||Yeah, okay, everything was fine.
Thanks, thanks. Great job in the car.|
|00:09:00||Ricky Bobby, a force to be
reckoned with, possibly...|
|00:09:02||...in the near future.|
|00:09:04||Ricky Bobby with yet another
|00:09:06||He is dominating NAS CAR.|
|00:09:08||First or last, baby, you know it!|
|00:09:11||I've never seen a driver who
wants to win more than this guy.|
|00:09:14||I could get used to
this winning thing!|
|00:09:30||Dennit Racing lncorporated
has decided to field an additionaI car.|
|00:09:35||And, at the urging of Ricky Bobby...|
|00:09:38||...who's been like a son to me,
|00:09:43||...I'm naming CaI Naughton Jr.
as the driver.|
|00:09:52||...we just want to say to all
you other drivers out there...|
|00:09:55||...if you smell a delicious,
crispy smell after the race...|
|00:09:58||...it's not your tailpipe,
it's a little bit...|
|00:10:03||And then bake.|
|00:10:06||Shake and Bake!|
|00:10:07||-That's our nickname.
-Get used to hearing it.|
|00:10:10||And Ricky Bobby wins...|
|00:10:12||...with CaI Naughton Jr.
|00:10:22||Hey, driver! Drive these.|
|00:10:28||Please be 1 8.|
|00:10:40||You want to make this out
|00:10:43||Hey, excuse me, Ricky.|
-Hey, can I get your autograph?|
|00:10:47||-Sure. Who do I make this out to?
-It's for me. I think you're awesome.|
|00:10:50||-Don't tell the other drivers.
-I'm not gonna tell anyone.|
|00:10:53||I'll see you out there.|
I'd love to sign your baby.|
|00:10:57||You're not gonna wanna wash
|00:10:59||-That's right, Powerade's number one.
-Not just for hydration, for vitamin.|
|00:11:03||No, it's me,
it's me, Susan, your assistant.|
|00:11:06||Gotta watch it when I get into
|00:11:08||I know, I'm sorry. It's my fault,
I shouldn't have been standing.|
|00:11:11||I'm Ricky Bobby.
Christmas is right around the corner...|
|00:11:14||...and what better gift
to give a loved one...|
|00:11:16||...than the Jackhawk 9000?|
|00:11:18||Available at Wal-Mart.|
|00:11:19||When you work on
your mysterious lady-part stuff...|
|00:11:22||...you should have the right tools too.
So that's why you should use...|
|00:11:25||...Maypax, the officiaI tampon
|00:11:29||I'm Ricky Bobby.|
|00:11:30||lf you don't chew Big Red,
then f*** you.|
-I'm very happy.|
|00:11:43||-Hey, I'm Ricky Bobby.
-And I'm CaI Naughton Jr.|
|00:11:46||Urging you never to travel
|00:11:48||Ricky! Ricky! Ricky!|
|00:11:50||Okay, I'm starting to get sick.|
|00:11:53||Dick Berggren in Las Vegas,
Victory Lane, for Fox Television.|
|00:11:56||Ricky Bobby, today's big winner.
Heck of a win for you today...|
|00:11:59||...but it seems as if you either win
or crash the car trying to win.|
|00:12:04||Well, Dick, here's the deal.
I'm the best there is, plain and simple.|
|00:12:07||I mean, I wake up in the morning
and I piss excellence.|
|00:12:10||And nobody can hang with my stuff.|
|00:12:12||You know, I'm just a big, hairy,
American winning machine.|
|00:12:15||lf you ain't first, you're last.
You know what I'm talking about?|
|00:12:18||That phrase is trademarked...|
|00:12:20||...not to be used without permission
of Ricky Bobby lnc.|
|00:12:29||Supper's ready! Come on, y'all!
I've been slaving over this for hours!|
|00:12:35||Dear Lord baby Jesus...|
|00:12:37||...or as our brothers
to the south call you, Jesus...|
|00:12:41||...we thank you so much for this
bountifuI harvest of Domino's, KFC...|
|00:12:47||...and the always delicious Taco Bell.|
|00:12:50||I just want to take time to say
thank you for my family...|
|00:12:53||...my two beautiful, beautiful,
handsome, striking sons...|
|00:12:57||...Walker and Texas Ranger...|
|00:12:59||...or T.R., as we call him...|
|00:13:02||...and of course,
my red-hot smoking wife, Carley...|
|00:13:04||...who is a stone-cold fox.|
|00:13:07||Who if you were to rate her ass
on 1 00, it would easily be a 94.|
|00:13:10||Also wanna thank you for
my best friend, CaI Naughton Jr...|
|00:13:14||...who's got my back
no matter what.|
|00:13:17||Shake and Bake.|
|00:13:18||Dear Lord baby Jesus, we also
thank you for my wife's father, Chip.|
|00:13:21||We hope that you can use
your baby Jesus powers...|
|00:13:24||...to heaI him and his horrible leg.|
|00:13:27||And it smells terrible and
the dogs are always bothering with it.|
|00:13:31||Dear tiny infant Jesus, we--|
|00:13:32||Hey, you know, sweetie...|
|00:13:35||...Jesus did grow up.|
|00:13:37||You don't always have to
call him ''baby.''|
|00:13:39||It's odd and off-putting
to pray to a baby.|
|00:13:41||Well, I like the Christmas Jesus best
and I'm saying grace.|
|00:13:44||When you say grace, say it to
grownup Jesus, teenage Jesus...|
whoever you want.|
|00:13:48||You know what I want?|
|00:13:50||I want you to do this grace good,
so that God will let us win tomorrow.|
|00:13:55||Dear tiny Jesus...|
|00:13:57||...in your golden-fleece diapers,
with your tiny, little, fat, balled-up fists...|
|00:14:02||-...pawing at the air....
-He was a man. He had a beard.|
|00:14:04||Look, I like the baby version the best,
do you hear me?|
|00:14:07||I win the races and I get the money.|
|00:14:09||Ricky, finish the damn grace.|
|00:14:13||I like to picture Jesus
in a tuxedo T-shirt...|
|00:14:16||...because it says, like,
''I wanna be formal...|
-...but I'm here to party too.''|
|00:14:20||Because I like to party,
so I like my Jesus to party.|
|00:14:23||I like to picture Jesus as a ninja
fighting off eviI samurai.|
|00:14:27||I like to think of Jesus,
like, with giant eagle's wings.|
|00:14:31||And singing lead vocals
for Lynyrd Skynyrd...|
|00:14:34||...with, like, a angel band.|
|00:14:36||And I'm in the front row,
and I'm hammered drunk.|
Why don't you just shut up?|
|00:14:43||Dear 8-pound, 6-ounce,
newborn infant Jesus...|
|00:14:49||...don't even know a word yet...|
|00:14:51||...just a little infant and so cuddly,
but still omnipotent...|
|00:14:55||...we just thank you for all the races
I've won and the 2 1 .2 million dollars--|
|00:15:02||Love that money!|
|00:15:04||--that I have accrued
over this past season.|
|00:15:06||Also, due to a binding
|00:15:09||...that stipulates I mention
Powerade at each grace...|
|00:15:11||...I just wanna say that
Powerade is delicious...|
|00:15:14||...and it cools you off
on a hot summer day.|
|00:15:16||And we look forward to Powerade's
release of Mystic Mountain Blueberry.|
|00:15:22||Thank you for all your power
and your grace, dear baby God. Amen.|
|00:15:27||Let's dig in!|
|00:15:28||That was a hell of a grace, man.
You nailed that like a split hog!|
|00:15:32||I'm not gonna lie to you, it felt good.|
|00:15:34||Dad, you made that grace your bitch.|
|00:15:36||Hey, boys, I wanna see
some napkins in the lap.|
|00:15:38||Boys, how was schooI today?|
|00:15:40||I threw a bunch of Grandpa Chip's
war medals off the bridge.|
|00:15:44||Sounds like a good day.
Texas Ranger, how about you?|
|00:15:46||Well, the teacher asked me what
was the capitaI of North Carolina.|
|00:15:50||I said, ''Washington, D.C.''|
|00:15:53||She said, ''No, you're wrong.''
I said, ''You got a lumpy butt.''|
|00:15:57||She got mad at me and yelled at me
and I pissed in my pants.|
|00:16:01||And I never did change
my pee pants all day.|
|00:16:04||I'm still sitting in my dirty pee pants.|
|00:16:06||I wet my bed untiI I was 1 9.
There's no shame in that.|
|00:16:10||I get emotionaI because
you guys are working so hard.|
|00:16:15||I'm just so proud of you.
You remind me of me...|
|00:16:17||...precocious and full of wonderment.|
|00:16:19||Tell you what, Ricky,
you are truly blessed.|
|00:16:21||-These two are two in a million.
|00:16:24||Just like Carley's tatas.|
|00:16:26||You won't find another rack like that,
|00:16:28||Thank you, Cal.|
|00:16:30||That's reaI sweet of you, Cal.|
|00:16:32||That's reaI nice. That's one of
the nicest things you've ever said.|
|00:16:35||-Well, I mean it.
-Stop, you're gonna make me cry.|
|00:16:38||lt comes from my heart, that's why.|
|00:16:40||I can't hold my tongue.|
|00:16:42||These kids are my grandchildren,
and you are raising them wrong.|
|00:16:45||They are terrible boys.|
|00:16:47||Shut up, Chip,
or I'll go ape-shit on your ass!|
|00:16:50||I'm gonna scissor-kick you
in the back of the head.|
-Yeah. Turn up the heat.|
|00:16:55||Go on and get some, boys.|
|00:16:56||I'm 1 0 years old,
but I'll beat your ass.|
|00:16:59||Chip, I'm gonna come at you
like a spider monkey.|
|00:17:02||Like a spider monkey! Go on.|
|00:17:03||Chip, you brought this on.|
|00:17:05||The greatest generation, my ass.|
|00:17:07||Tom Brokaw is a punk.|
|00:17:09||What is wrong with you?|
|00:17:10||Chip, I'm all jacked up
on Mountain Dew.|
|00:17:13||I love that.|
|00:17:18||I sure as hell am, Chip.
I love the way they're talking to you.|
Winners get to do what they want.|
|00:17:24||Hell, you're just a bag of bones.|
|00:17:26||Only thing you ever done with your life
is make a hot daughter.|
|00:17:29||That's it. That is it!|
|00:17:31||We wanted us some wussies...|
|00:17:32||...we would've named them Dr. Quinn
and Medicine Woman, okay?|
|00:17:35||I work too hard for your bull, Chip.|
You make me hot. Come here.|
|00:17:40||Everyone just keep eating.|
-Come here. Come here.|
|00:17:49||I'll hold your hair.|
|00:18:05||Got those two tickets
for my speciaI friend?|
|00:18:07||Yeah, sure do. You know I do, Ricky.
Got them right here, buddy.|
how's your mama's hip?|
|00:18:13||She's gonna be all right,
thank you for asking.|
|00:18:16||-Appreciate it. Hey, good luck today.
|00:18:18||That's the saddest thing
I've ever seen in my life.|
|00:18:20||That boy leaves two tickets
for his daddy at every race...|
|00:18:23||...and he never shows up.|
|00:18:25||That's a shame.|
|00:18:27||The human heart is such a mystery.|
|00:18:31||-Let's sell these bitches, huh?
|00:18:33||-Beer money, huh?
-There you go. Yes.|
|00:18:38||As the laps wind down,
Jamie McMurray is the leader.|
|00:18:40||CaI Naughton in second.
Ricky Bobby in third.|
|00:18:43||What's up, Cal? You ready
for a little Shake-and-Bake-age?|
-Naughton Jr. is letting Ricky Bobby...|
|00:18:49||...draft up to him to make
that slingshot move past McMurray.|
|00:18:53||Can you believe that he would do that
for his teammate?|
|00:18:56||Set him up that way?|
|00:19:03||And there goes Ricky Bobby
on the outside!|
|00:19:05||That's how we do it.|
|00:19:06||Makes his move.
Naughton's giving him plenty of room.|
|00:19:09||What in the hell is he doing, guys?
Get him off of me.|
|00:19:12||They touch! They spin!|
|00:19:18||Come on, man!|
|00:19:23||See you, wouldn't wanna be you.|
|00:19:36||Look at that! Ricky Bobby's gonna
try to win the race in reverse.|
|00:19:40||Man, he wants this win bad!|
|00:19:43||Ricky Bobby wins it in reverse!|
I love that! That is cool!|
|00:19:47||Jamie, losing's never fun, but here's
something to pick your spirits up.|
|00:19:52||It's reaI nice.
I got it at Target. It's on sale.|
|00:20:08||-That's it. Another one. Another one.
-All right, man. We did it!|
|00:20:12||I don't wanna be raining on
your parade, but I gotta tell you...|
|00:20:15||...that was some of the dumbest driving
I have ever seen in my life.|
-And I know you won the race...|
|00:20:22||...but you're not gonna live forever.|
|00:20:23||I'm not stupid, Lucius.
No one lives forever. No one.|
|00:20:26||But with advances in modern science
and my high level of income...|
|00:20:31||...I mean, it's not crazy to think
I can't live to be 2 45, maybe 300.|
|00:20:34||I just read in the newspaper they
put a pig heart in some Russian guy.|
|00:20:38||Know what--? I mean,
do you know what that means?|
|00:20:41||No, I don't know what that means.
I guess, longer life.|
|00:20:43||-Well, no, he didn't live.
-He didn't live?|
|00:20:45||No. It's just exciting
that we're trying things like that.|
-Hey, Mr. Dennit.|
|00:20:53||-She already wasted?
You feel pretty good today, huh?|
early word out of NASCAR...|
|00:21:01||...is your little obscene gesture's
gonna cost you 1 00 points.|
|00:21:03||You know how much that costs us
in sponsorship dollars?|
|00:21:06||With all due respect, Mr. Dennit...|
|00:21:08||...I had no idea you had experimental
surgery to have your balls removed.|
|00:21:13||What did you say?
What was that?|
I said, ''With all due respect.''|
|00:21:17||That doesn't mean you get to say
whatever you wanna say to me.|
|00:21:20||-lt sure as heck does.
-No, it doesn't.|
|00:21:22||It's in the Geneva Convention.
Look it up.|
|00:21:24||I remember your daddy
used to love it.|
|00:21:26||-This is not my dad-- This is my team--
-Used to love it when I used to win.|
|00:21:31||Now, I suggest you and your wife,
Mrs. Jim Beam...|
|00:21:34||...you guys go take a chill pill.
Enjoy the win!|
|00:21:36||-Come on, man!
-Yeah, Ricky. Okay.|
|00:21:38||Baby, photo op, photo op.
|00:21:40||Come on, number one.|
|00:21:43||Hold my hand, baby.|
|00:21:53||I'll tell you what, though, guys,
that was a hell of a race today.|
|00:21:56||-Shake and Bake in full effect.
-It's always been like that.|
|00:22:01||Me and Ricky,
since we were little kids, man.|
|00:22:03||We go together like Chinese food
and chocolate pudding. Let's face it.|
|00:22:06||Yeah, but those are two things
that don't really go together.|
|00:22:09||We go together
like cocaine and waffles.|
|00:22:12||No, like, for instance,
if I say peanut butter and....|
-Am I right?|
-You like to put jelly on a lady?|
|00:22:21||I'm gonna settle this thing.
Let's just get ourselves...|
|00:22:24||...a whole mess of cocktails,
get drunk and work this thing out.|
|00:22:28||-Work this thing out.
|00:22:31||So I was talking to Nana on Saturday,
and her birthday's coming up...|
|00:22:35||...but I don't know what to get her.
She's gonna be 88.|
|00:22:37||Get her a coffin.|
|00:22:45||Hey, Cal, I'm sorry
about wrecking you today.|
|00:22:49||-I mean, but that was for the team.
-No, that's cool. That's cool, I know.|
|00:22:53||I was thinking, though, one time...|
|00:22:56||...it would be really awesome if, like,
you could slingshot me in for a win.|
|00:23:00||Yeah, but-- Okay, but if you won...|
|00:23:03||-...how am I gonna win?
|00:23:06||-Think about it.
-No, I was thinking about it.|
|00:23:09||I mean, it's not like
you're finishing 1 8th.|
|00:23:11||-There's nothing wrong with silver.
-Nothing wrong with silver at all.|
|00:23:14||I'm just kidding you, man.
I don't wanna win.|
|00:23:18||I'll just bury it down inside.|
|00:23:20||Bury it deep down in there,
and never bring it up again.|
|00:23:23||It's painful, and I love you!|
|00:23:26||Get her a gigolo.|
-A guy to have sex with her.|
|00:23:31||No, she's gonna be 88 and....|
|00:23:33||You don't stop liking sex
when you're old.|
|00:23:37||Well, I was thinking
more along the line of....|
|00:23:40||-Like, she likes afghans and quilts.
-She's probably got a million of those.|
|00:23:45||How many dudes does she have
coming over to have sex with her?|
|00:23:51||Be thoughtful, Glenn.|
|00:24:03||What is that?|
|00:24:04||Someone made a tape of
something dying or something.|
|00:24:07||Hey, turn that crap off.
What's going on?|
|00:24:09||I want this music out of my head.|
|00:24:11||Hey, turn that off!|
|00:24:13||Turn that off right now!|
|00:24:21||Why did you stop the jazz music?|
|00:24:25||Was it not pleasant for you?|
|00:24:28||No one plays jazz here
at The Pit Stop, okay?|
|00:24:31||So why is the song on the jukebox?|
|00:24:33||We keep it on there
for profiling purposes.|
|00:24:37||We also got
the Pet Shop Boys and Seal.|
|00:24:41||My name is Jean Girard...|
|00:24:44||...and I am a racing-car driver
just like you...|
|00:24:48||...except I am from Formula Un.|
|00:24:52||I am the greatest one
in the whole world.|
|00:24:55||I have been following your career
with great interest, Monsieur Bobby.|
|00:25:01||I can't understand a word
you've said the whole time.|
|00:25:04||Did you eat peanut butter
|00:25:06||You sound like a dog with peanut butter
on the roof of your mouth.|
|00:25:09||I think what you are hearing
is my accent.|
|00:25:13||I am French.|
|00:25:15||You say you're French?|
|00:25:18||We? No, we are not French.|
because you're in America, okay?|
|00:25:24||Greatest country on the planet.|
|00:25:26||Well, what have you
given the world...|
|00:25:28||...apart from George Bush, Cheerios,
and the ThighMaster?|
|00:25:35||That's from China.|
What did French land give us?|
|00:25:44||We invented democracy,
|00:25:48||...and the blowjob.|
|00:25:50||-Those are three pretty good things.
|00:25:53||Well, that last one's pretty cool.|
|00:25:55||You know, the 69 with
the head near the-- That bit.|
|00:25:59||We came up with it.|
|00:26:01||We created the missionary position.|
|00:26:07||...I have come here to defeat you.|
|00:26:10||Oh, well, there's strikes two and three
|00:26:14||Did you hear what he just said?|
|00:26:17||Well, welcome to America, amigo.|
|00:26:24||You are fast, Ricky Bobby...|
|00:26:28||...but I am faster.|
|00:26:30||All right, you let go of me,
you Formula One jazz nutjob!|
|00:26:34||Like the frightened baby chipmunk...|
|00:26:36||...you are scared by anything
that is different.|
|00:26:39||I will let you go, Ricky...|
|00:26:42||...but first I want you to say:|
|00:26:48||''I love crepes.''|
|00:26:52||Don't you say it, Ricky.
These colors don't run.|
|00:26:55||-I'm not gonna say it.
|00:26:57||Hey, look, Frenchy,
I thought about it.|
|00:26:59||So why don't you go ahead
and break my arm?|
|00:27:02||I do not want to break your arm,
|00:27:05||...but I am a man of my word.|
|00:27:07||Here's the deal.
He's not gonna break it...|
|00:27:09||...because I'm gonna slip
out of it right now. Houdini.|
|00:27:11||Get down, you little pancake.|
|00:27:13||Someone get me a beer
while I'm here.|
|00:27:15||But you have forced me to do this.|
|00:27:17||You are now mocking me
and making me look ridiculous.|
|00:27:20||Just say, ''I love crepes.''|
|00:27:22||You know, just to put this in there, I had
a whole mess of crepes this morning.|
|00:27:26||They're like pancakes,
maybe even better.|
|00:27:28||-Are they the really thin pancakes?
|00:27:31||They are the really thin pancakes.
It's just a French word for them.|
|00:27:34||-My God, I love those.
-Put any syrups you want on them.|
|00:27:37||-I'm saying, think about it.
-They come with cheese sometimes?|
|00:27:40||Yes, of course,
|00:27:42||Well, why didn't someone
yell that right away?|
|00:27:44||You know what's in
the crepe suzette?|
|00:27:46||-Oh, I love the crepe suzette.
-With the sugar...|
|00:27:48||-...and lemon juice, Grand Marnier.
-Sugar and lemon juice.|
|00:27:51||I wish I could crawI into
one of those right now.|
|00:27:54||-I'd eat my way out from the inside.
-They are tasty.|
|00:27:57||Either way this goes, could we
get some after we're done?|
|00:28:00||-Absolutely. We're gonna do that.
-So, what if you just said:|
|00:28:03||''I love really thin pancakes''?
That is a fair compromise, no?|
|00:28:07||-That is a fair compromise.
-Very fair, actually.|
|00:28:10||No! Because then everyone
would know I really meant crepes.|
|00:28:13||That's a pretty good compromise.|
|00:28:14||Why do you want me
to break your arm so badly?|
|00:28:18||You don't understand
because you don't understand liberty.|
|00:28:21||You don't understand freedom.|
|00:28:23||So you put a crack in my arm
like the crack in the Liberty Bell.|
|00:28:27||Hey. This is just
between you and me, okay?|
|00:28:30||I mean, forget all these other guys.|
|00:28:32||But he did give you a pretty
decent out. But it's your call.|
|00:28:35||What do you think?|
|00:28:38||-Don't say it.
-Yeah. I'm not gonna say it.|
|00:28:40||Break it, Pepe Le Pew.|
|00:28:42||As you wish.|
|00:28:46||-He actually did it!
-All right. You did it. Back off.|
|00:28:50||-I didn't say it!
-No, you did not.|
|00:28:52||Your injury is one
of ignorance and pride.|
|00:28:58||Hold it right there,
Mr. Fancy Pants Foreigner.|
|00:29:01||You just broke my bro's arm.|
|00:29:03||Now you're about to get Tasered.|
|00:29:06||-Say hello to Dr. Watts.
-Get him, Cal.|
|00:29:10||I need you all to step away...|
|00:29:13||...from my driver.|
|00:29:14||The hell you talking about, ''my driver''?
What are you doing with a gun?|
|00:29:17||Don't you worry about my gun, Ricky.|
|00:29:20||Jean Girard is my new boy
at Dennit Racing. He's here to win us...|
|00:29:23||...an overall-points championship,
something you apparently...|
|00:29:26||...have no interest in.
He's gonna usher in a new era.|
|00:29:29||Mr. Dennit, with all due respect--|
I'm saying, ''with all due respect.''|
|00:29:33||--that idea ain't worth a velvet painting
of a whale and a dolphin getting it on.|
|00:29:38||That's good. That's good fun.
That's good fun, Ricky...|
|00:29:41||...but that doesn't bother me anymore
because Jean is the future...|
|00:29:44||...Ricky, the past.|
|00:29:46||So, Jean, introduce me
to your new teammates.|
this is my husband, Gregory.|
|00:29:56||See you at the track.|
|00:29:58||Did he just say ''husband''?|
|00:30:00||Sweet Lord. Dennit hired a gay
Frenchman as your teammate.|
|00:30:04||The room's starting to spin reaI fast.|
|00:30:08||Because of gayness.|
|00:30:12||-Cal, I love you.
-Ricky? Ricky! Oh, God!|
|00:30:24||Fans and NASCAR, everyone is talking
about this new driver, Jean Girard.|
|00:30:29||Let's find out a little bit more about him
from our reporter, Davey Wesling.|
|00:30:33||Talented. Eccentric. Dominating.|
|00:30:37||These are the words
that define Jean Girard.|
|00:30:41||Before each race, Jean Girard spends
time with his world-class horses...|
|00:30:46||...who are also gay.|
|00:30:48||Jean's days are filled
with sun-drenched walks...|
|00:30:51||...with his beloved husband, Gregory.|
|00:30:54||Though Gregory is
no stay-at-home spouse.|
|00:30:57||He's a world-class trainer
of German shepherds.|
|00:31:00||Rolfe, the Nazi boyfriend.
Up on top!|
|00:31:04||Very nice. Very nice.|
|00:31:07||Only time will tell if Jean's foray
into NAS CAR...|
|00:31:11||...will end up in Victory Lane.|
|00:31:34||Well, kiss my ass on Sunday.|
|00:31:37||-Lucius, what the hell is going on?
-The man can drive.|
|00:31:39||And check out his crew chief
|00:31:42||Won the Nobel Prize
for physics back in '93.|
|00:31:44||Ladies and gentlemen,
that is a new track record.|
|00:31:47||As it stands now, Jean Girard is sitting
on the pole, which is, of course...|
|00:31:51||...a statement of fact
and in no way a comment...|
|00:31:53||...on the driver's sexuaI orientation.|
|00:31:55||Put a smile on your face?
That's the future of Dennit Racing.|
|00:31:58||-That make you happy?
-I'm just thrilled, Mr. Dennit.|
|00:32:01||I love seeing some French guy
break my record...|
|00:32:03||...while I got my arm wrapped up
like a fricking gordita.|
|00:32:06||Hello, Ricky Bobby.|
|00:32:08||What happened last week was
very regrettable and unfortunate...|
|00:32:14||...and, as a gesture, I would like to...|
|00:32:17||...sign your cast, please.|
|00:32:19||Hell, you know what,
get my car off the trailer, guys.|
|00:32:22||Baby! That's my baby!|
|00:32:24||Hold on, Ricky. Ricky, Ricky, Rick.
What are you talking about?|
|00:32:27||Look. I wanna drive. My arm's fine.
So let's get the car off the trailer.|
|00:32:31||Don't look at me.
Get it off the trailer!|
|00:32:33||Even with a healthy arm, you don't
have a chance against Jean Girard.|
|00:32:37||All right, fellas. You heard the man.
Get the car off. Let's go.|
|00:32:40||You guys heard it.|
|00:32:43||-What's going on?
-Soon you will know what it is like...|
|00:32:46||...to be defeated by the hands of
somebody who is truly better than you.|
|00:32:52||As William Blake wrote,
''The cut worm forgives the plow.''|
|00:32:56||Well, let me just quote the late,
great Colonel Sanders...|
''I'm too drunk to taste this chicken.''|
|00:33:03||What's that got to do with this?|
|00:33:05||I got a message for all of them.
Ready? Shake and Bake!|
|00:33:09||What does that do? Does that
blow your mind? That just happened!|
|00:33:13||What is that, a catch phrase
or is that epilepsy?|
|00:33:16||-Shake and Bake. Shake and Bake.
|00:33:19||Listen, you better be carefuI because
tomorrow you're going to get beaten.|
|00:33:24||Beaten reaI bad, cowboy.|
|00:33:28||-I don't want to know.
-That's news to me.|
|00:33:30||-Tomorrow you'll be in trouble.
-I'll rip you a new one.|
|00:33:34||There's going to be a croissant
I'm going to take away.|
|00:33:37||I play for keeps!|
|00:33:39||I give you one option,
|00:33:42||As a sign of humility,
if you kiss me on the lips now...|
|00:33:45||...I will return to Paris and you will
never see me again in NASCAR.|
|00:33:49||The answer is never!|
|00:33:50||-I close my--
-Do you hear me? Never ever!|
|00:33:53||-Well, yes or no?
|00:33:59||Let me tell you, hold on.
Shake and Bake.|
|00:34:03||What does that mean?
lt makes no sense!|
|00:34:05||This ''Shake and Bake,''
|00:34:07||-Hey, baby. You guys are so smooth.
|00:34:11||Cal, you could say that 1 0,000 times
and it still wouldn't be enough.|
|00:34:14||-lt fires me up.
-I love it. Say it one more time.|
|00:34:16||-Shake and Bake!
-Doesn't that feel good?|
|00:34:19||Yeah! lt rhymes,
they're both verbs. It's awesome.|
|00:34:46||NAS CAR on Fox welcomes you
to Lowe's Motor Speedway...|
|00:34:48||...where tonight we'll go 500 miles.|
|00:34:52||The big stories tonight
are at both ends of the grid.|
|00:34:56||Up front, Larry, the surprising French
Formula One driver, Jean Girard.|
|00:35:01||And at the opposite end of the grid,
Darrell, Ricky Bobby.|
|00:35:05||I saw Ricky Bobby last night walking
around with a cast on his arm.|
|00:35:08||Now, I don't know who he conned
into letting him start this race.|
|00:35:11||Just keep a camera on him
all night long.|
|00:35:14||I am so excited.|
|00:35:16||This is a new era
for Dennit Racing, huh?|
|00:35:19||So serious all the time
about your big race team.|
-But this is my life. This is my life.|
|00:35:28||You know what? There's only one
good thing about coming to the races...|
|00:35:31||...and that is
the vibrations from the cars.|
|00:35:35||Oh, I love when them cars whiz by.|
|00:35:41||Can feel the motor...|
|00:35:43||...running up my legs.|
|00:35:48||Ricky Bobby, who never met
a sponsor he wouldn't push...|
|00:35:51||...has a Fig Newton sticker
on his windshield.|
|00:35:53||Think NAS CAR will
black-flag him for that.|
|00:35:55||He sold the windshield!|
|00:35:56||This sticker is dangerous and
inconvenient, but I love Fig Newtons.|
|00:36:02||Ricky Bobby started this race
in the back...|
|00:36:04||...but he's making no friends
on the way to the front.|
|00:36:06||I'm all about getting to the front tonight,
Lucius. Let's go! Let's move it!|
|00:36:10||Well, he's driving
like a man possessed.|
|00:36:12||I'm not even sure he realizes how
much damage he's doing to his car.|
|00:36:19||Hey, Ricky. You know you're driving
like a pissed-off teenager, okay?|
|00:36:24||Where is that Frenchy?|
|00:36:30||I got you, Pepe Le Bitch.|
|00:36:33||Oh, Ricky Bobby.|
|00:36:37||Hey, it's me, America.|
|00:36:43||Yeah, I'm here.|
|00:36:45||You have spilled my macchiato.|
|00:36:49||Look at Girard in the 55.|
|00:36:50||He's made that car three lanes wide,
but he's still fast.|
|00:36:54||No, no, no, my friend.
This way also closed. Not this way.|
|00:37:00||Lucius, what's he doing?
He's everywhere at once.|
|00:37:02||Guy's dangerous, Ricky.
He's like a cobra. Back off!|
I need a little support here!|
|00:37:09||Tell Ricky I'm on my way.|
|00:37:18||Hey, Ricky, listen.|
|00:37:20||CaI blew out his engine.
You have no backup. Back off!|
|00:37:26||I ain't backing off.
I'm Ricky Bobby, I'm the best there is.|
|00:37:29||He's too good, Ricky. Lay off!|
|00:37:33||Bobby's boxed in.
There's nowhere to go there.|
|00:37:37||He's gonna try the outside move again.
I don't know if it's gonna work.|
|00:37:41||Come on, Daddy!|
|00:37:43||Come on, Daddy! Whoop his butt!|
|00:37:45||Send that weird man
back to lndonesia.|
-Bobby moves to the outside.|
|00:37:53||Not a lot of room. He's in the wall!|
|00:37:55||Bobby is sliding,
slamming into the wall.|
|00:38:07||Yep. I'm flying through the air.
This is not good.|
|00:38:30||Peaches and cream!|
|00:38:35||The car comes to rest
in a big cloud of smoke.|
|00:38:38||Ricky Bobby appears to be okay...|
|00:38:40||...but that Wonder Bread car is toast.|
|00:38:45||Oh, my God! Ricky!|
|00:38:48||Hakuna matata, bitches.|
|00:38:57||It's okay, guys, it's just a wreck.
Ricky can handle it.|
|00:39:00||Now, that's one of the nastiest wrecks
you'll ever see.|
|00:39:04||Oh, no, no, no.|
|00:39:06||It's all right. You're safe.|
-We got you. We're here.|
|00:39:11||I'm on fire.|
|00:39:12||It's all right.
It's all right, you're not on fire!|
|00:39:15||-You're lying! I'm on fire!
-There is no fire.|
|00:39:19||-I'm on fire. I don't wanna die.
-Come back here.|
|00:39:21||But something looks wrong. I mean,
he's running around like he's on fire.|
|00:39:25||Oh, my God! Help me!
I don't wanna die! Stop, drop, and roll!|
|00:39:29||-You're not on fire, Ricky Bobby!
-I'm on fire!|
|00:39:33||You're not on fire.|
|00:39:35||But I'm not even sure he even knows
where he's at right now.|
|00:39:38||This makes us all realize the kind
of pressure these drivers are under.|
|00:39:43||Mr. Bobby, come on down here.|
|00:39:45||Help me, Jesus!
Help me, Jewish God!|
|00:39:48||Help me, Allah!|
|00:39:51||Help me, Tom Cruise!|
|00:39:53||But how did he get down
to his underwear that fast?|
|00:39:56||Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft on me
to get the fire off me!|
|00:39:59||Look. Here, help's coming.|
|00:40:01||-Wait a minute!
-It's CaI Naughton.|
|00:40:03||Oh, God! Please don't let
the invisible fire burn my friend!|
|00:40:08||I got you!
I got you, man! I'll help you!|
|00:40:12||He's jumping on Ricky, trying
to put the nonexistent fire out.|
|00:40:15||Now, that's a teammate right there.|
|00:40:17||This is going downhill fast.|
|00:40:19||lt would be a great time
to go to commerciaI break.|
|00:40:23||Help me, Oprah Winfrey!|
|00:40:26||You know, Larry, there's good days
in racing, and there's bad days.|
|00:40:30||Ricky Bobby just had himself
a bad day.|
|00:40:42||He's suffering from catatonic shock.|
|00:40:44||His injuries are minor, but right now he
can't deaI with the trauma of the wreck.|
|00:40:47||Golly, this is a hard decision.|
|00:40:51||But I have thought about it,
and I want the plug pulled.|
|00:40:57||Ma'am, your husband's not dying.|
|00:41:00||He's just taking a nap.|
|00:41:03||-Just look at him.
-No, I'm not lying.|
|00:41:05||I've never seen him
make that noise. Ever.|
|00:41:08||Got more plugs in him
than a Circuit City.|
Mama loves you so much.|
|00:41:16||Hey, Ricky. It's me, Cal.|
|00:41:20||Just want you to know,
I got your back, bro. No matter what.|
I want to get off my chest...|
|00:41:28||...and it's about that summer when
you went away to community college.|
|00:41:32||I got a offer to do PlaygirI magazine...|
|00:41:36||...and I did it.|
|00:41:38||I did a full spread
for PlaygirI magazine.|
|00:41:42||I mean spread, man.
I pulled my butt apart and stuff...|
|00:41:47||...and I was totally nude,
and it was weird.|
|00:41:51||You probably didn't hear about it...|
|00:41:53||...because I went under the name
of Mike Honcho.|
|00:41:55||But I just wanted you to know that.|
|00:41:57||lf you could hear me,
if it got into your brain somehow...|
|00:42:01||...that I spread my butt cheeks
as Mike Honcho.|
|00:42:03||''Are you there, God?
It's me, Margaret.|
|00:42:06||Gretchen, my friend, got her period.
I'm so jealous, God.|
|00:42:11||I hate myself for being so jealous,
but I am.|
|00:42:14||I wish you'd help me just a little.|
|00:42:16||Nancy's sure she's going to
get it soon too. And if I'm last....''|
|00:42:21||Hey, Ricky. Ricky!|
|00:42:24||Come on, man, wake up.|
|00:42:26||Are you faking it?|
|00:42:31||Are you faking it? Fake it!|
|00:42:39||I don't know how much longer
I can take seeing you like this.|
|00:42:43||I am not gonna let you die here...|
|00:42:48||...like some kind of vegetable.|
|00:42:50||I'm gonna put an end to this
|00:42:52||Get all this crap off you.|
|00:42:54||You don't need any of this crap.|
|00:42:59||This is it. This is how it ends.|
|00:43:02||This is how Shake and Bake ends.|
|00:43:04||It's shadow time, buddy.|
|00:43:09||It's time to go home to Jesus.|
|00:43:18||Oh, wow, you definitely--|
still got some fight in you.|
|00:43:25||Okay, maybe we give this
|00:43:28||Middle. I'll go up to the middle.
Let's play some defense!|
|00:43:33||I just wanna say thanks, doc,
for taking care of our boy here.|
-That's a foul! That's a foul!|
|00:43:39||Doc, give it to me straight.|
|00:43:41||ls he ever gonna be able
to walk again?|
|00:43:43||Oh, I'm sorry, I thought someone
had told you. He's fine.|
|00:43:46||He found that wheelchair
in the hallway.|
|00:43:48||His paralysis is
|00:43:51||But we all need to go along with this,
because he's in a delicate state.|
|00:43:55||So when you say psychosomatic,
you mean, like...|
|00:43:59||...he could start a fire
with his thoughts?|
|00:44:02||No, not at all.
lt means it's all in his mind.|
|00:44:04||I'm saying, sometimes you get a knock
on the head, you get speciaI powers.|
|00:44:08||lt happens all the time.
Read a comic book, okay?|
|00:44:10||Everyone's reaI friendly.|
|00:44:12||lt doesn't hurt being Ricky Bobby.
I'm not gonna lie to you.|
|00:44:15||So how's the physicaI therapy going?|
|00:44:17||Oh, I gave that up.
Yeah, I gave that up...|
|00:44:20||...after maybe the first day.
Within the first hour, I gave that up.|
|00:44:23||I'm through lying to myself,
|00:44:26||It's time to be mature about this
and just face facts.|
|00:44:29||I bought myself
|00:44:33||...with the captain's chairs and the DVD
plasma screens in the back for the kids.|
|00:44:37||-You all paid up on that?
-Yeah. That's all paid in full.|
|00:44:40||It's parked out there.
And then the next thing I gotta do...|
|00:44:43||...is I just gotta have a sit-down
with Carley and just let her know...|
|00:44:49||...that it's okay for her to seek
the comfort of other men.|
|00:44:54||Because she's gotta run wild. You
can't keep something like that back.|
|00:44:58||Hold on, man. Hold....|
|00:45:00||-We gotta tell him.
|00:45:02||No, I don't care what the doctor said,
we gotta tell him now.|
|00:45:05||Ricky, the doctor told us...|
|00:45:07||...that we should let you work it out
in your own sweet time...|
|00:45:09||...but, Ricky, you can walk.|
|00:45:11||What did you just say?|
|00:45:13||He's telling you the truth, man.
It's all in your head.|
|00:45:19||You sick sons of bitches!|
|00:45:22||I mean, you walk in that door...|
|00:45:24||...on your two legs,
all fat and cocky...|
|00:45:28||...and looking at me in my chair,
and you tell me it's all in my head?|
|00:45:32||I hope that both of you have sons.|
|00:45:35||Handsome, beautiful, articulate sons
who are talented and star athletes...|
|00:45:40||...and they have their legs
|00:45:42||I pray you know
that pain and that hurt.|
|00:45:44||Don't you put that eviI on me,
|00:45:46||Don't you put that on us!
You are not paralyzed!|
|00:45:51||I am so paralyzed!|
|00:45:53||-No, no, no! No, he needs to know!
-Getting a little rough on him.|
|00:45:56||-He's always crying!
-Tough love, it is. Tough love.|
|00:45:59||- Wake up, idiot!
-You wanna know what I am?!|
|00:46:02||You wanna see what my life is?!|
|00:46:05||Don't do it.|
|00:46:06||-You wanna see what's going on here?
-Don't you stick that knife in your leg.|
-Hold on, hold on.|
|00:46:22||-Hold on, now. Walk it off.
-Oh, that hurts.|
-Walk it off.|
|00:46:26||Stretch, stretch. Stretch it out.|
You can walk! You can walk!|
|00:46:31||I can walk!|
|00:46:33||-I think I touched a nerve.
|00:46:36||All right, we got it, we got it.
Hold it right there.|
|00:46:39||Maybe don't touch it.|
|00:46:40||-Can you feel it?
|00:46:43||We'll use this knife to pry it out.
We'll pull it out.|
|00:46:45||-Now we got two in there.
-Just don't think about it.|
|00:46:48||-We're going down a bad path.
-Cut around the meat.|
|00:46:50||I'll cut right here.
Stretch it out.|
|00:46:52||Just take out a plug of meat.
Just like a deer.|
|00:46:55||We gotta wiggle it a little bit. That's it.
Can you feel that?|
|00:46:58||-Yeah, I feel that.
-You are back!|
|00:47:00||I love you guys!|
|00:47:02||Hey, I'm sorry, guys. I mean,
I hope your boys don't lose their legs.|
-So when do I get to drive again?|
|00:47:09||Well, that's the thing. The doctor
said you suffered major trauma...|
|00:47:12||...and he thinks you should
take it slow for a while.|
|00:47:15||Yeah, so, I was thinking, like,
while you're resting up and stuff...|
|00:47:19||-...maybe you could let me win a few.
-Well, there you go.|
|00:47:22||Yeah, that ain't gonna happen.|
|00:47:24||Yeah. I'm Ricky Bobby.
I mean, you know how I play it.|
-First or last, right, baby?|
|00:47:30||-Don't know what I was thinking.
|00:47:32||...Dennit Jr. must be freaking out.
All the money he's losing?|
|00:47:35||Without me on the track?|
|00:47:37||I mean, I just laugh...|
|00:47:39||...thinking about him whining
all the time, bitching and moaning:|
|00:47:42||''Damn, I wish Ricky was here.''|
|00:47:44||You know what I mean?|
|00:47:52||Frenchy can drive.|
|00:48:29||C'est la vie and que sera, sera.|
|00:48:31||lt looks like the NASCAR
has gone French.|
|00:48:35||Well, in other news, Ricky Bobby...|
|00:48:36||...is going to be running some test laps
this weekend at Rockingham...|
|00:48:40||...in an attempt to come back
from his grisly crash.|
|00:48:44||It's one of the hardest things
to do in racing.|
|00:48:46||To try to bounce back after
a devastating, violent wreck.|
|00:48:49||Ricky Bobby was traumatized
during the incident.|
|00:48:51||All right, baby.
Come on, now.|
|00:48:53||But today he gets to strap back into
a racecar for the first time since...|
|00:48:56||...to try to show he can still
get the job done.|
|00:48:59||-He's gonna be great. Yep.
-He's gonna be great, sure.|
|00:49:02||Would you stop staring at me like that,
Susan? I swear...|
|00:49:05||...you are the weirdest little girl
I've ever seen.|
|00:49:08||Okay, I'm really gonna open it up!|
|00:49:14||I missed you, Mama Speed.
Ricky Bobby's back.|
|00:49:17||Wait, how fast is he going?|
|00:49:19||Twenty-six miles an hour.|
|00:49:23||What were those things?
Were those the other cars?|
|00:49:32||Oh, God. So fast.|
|00:49:34||Go, baby! There you are.|
|00:49:36||Am I on fire? I'm on fire.|
|00:49:38||-No, no, you're not on fire.
-Stretch it out.|
|00:49:40||-It's okay, baby.
-Take it easy.|
|00:49:44||-Oh, God, I'm gonna get sick.
|00:49:47||-Oh, he's in his underwear again.
-Ricky! Please put your clothes on.|
|00:49:51||He's in his underwear again.
Go get him, fellas.|
|00:49:54||You know who's gonna be
number one at Dennit Racing?|
-I'm gonna windmill you.|
|00:50:01||Mr. CaI Naughton Jr.|
|00:50:04||-Come back at him. It's the only way.
-Who are you?|
|00:50:09||-Oh, yes, ma'am.
-Ricky! Come on, man!|
|00:50:14||The ninjas are trying to get me.
The ninjas are trying to get me.|
|00:50:18||-Oh, my God.
|00:50:20||What happened? He's done.
|00:50:23||That's what's happened.
It's over. He's finished.|
|00:50:25||What's gonna happen to me?|
|00:50:27||I feel like I was riding inside
an asteroid or a comet or something.|
|00:50:30||Yeah, you were going fast.|
|00:50:32||-Look at that.
-What are we gonna do?|
|00:50:35||This is ugly.
This is bad for all of us. Look at that.|
|00:50:38||-I gotta go check on cuckoo bird.
-No, cuckoo's okay.|
|00:50:41||Why don't you get over there
and settle down Carley for me?|
|00:50:44||-Could you do that for me?
|00:50:46||There you go.|
|00:50:49||What began as a day
of hope and optimism...|
|00:50:51||...for Ricky Bobby and his race team
has ended here in sad disappointment.|
|00:50:54||There we go, boy.|
|00:50:56||-I lost all muscle control.
-Yeah, you did.|
|00:50:58||-He just lost his muscle controI is all.
-I lost my muscle control.|
He just can't controI the muscles.|
|00:51:14||-Thanks for the lift, Hershell.
-Yeah, no problem.|
|00:51:26||I love you, Cal.|
|00:51:29||-Good one, kiddo.
-What the hell's going on?|
|00:51:31||Hey, Ricky, nice of you
to stop by for a visit.|
|00:51:34||What do you mean, a visit?
This is my house.|
|00:51:38||...shoot. I'm so sorry.|
I didn't want it to be this way.|
|00:51:43||Hey, what happened
to the family portrait?|
|00:51:46||You just crudely pasted
your face over mine.|
|00:51:49||We're getting married, Ricky.|
|00:51:51||And we're getting matching
|00:51:53||lsn't that cute?
With a little pot of gold.|
|00:51:55||ls this some kind of joke?
You guys putting me on?|
|00:51:58||I was gone three hours.
Dennit just fired me from the team.|
|00:52:03||Ricky, you and l...|
|00:52:04||...we both know that this marriage
has been over for a long, long time.|
|00:52:08||No! I honestly did not know that!|
|00:52:11||Ricky, you can't race no more.|
|00:52:17||I'm not going back to being poor
and dancing at the Wizard's Den.|
|00:52:21||You know, my old boyfriend Greg?|
|00:52:23||He still works there
and he was crazy.|
|00:52:28||Wait. Hold on. Hold on. Just a second.
Let me make sure I got this straight.|
|00:52:33||Are you asking me for a divorce?|
|00:52:35||-Yay! Two Christmases!
-Yay! Two Christmases!|
|00:52:39||How could you do this to me, man?|
|00:52:41||Ricky, your marriage was
a hollow shell.|
|00:52:45||lt was a cruel charade.|
|00:52:47||She just gave me the 41 1
on the whole deal.|
|00:52:49||And you know what else?
You never let me win one time.|
|00:52:53||I thought we had a good thing going.
Shake and Bake.|
|00:52:55||You're doing great.
You just keep it up. Keep it up.|
|00:52:58||And Mr. Dennit told me
that it's my time now.|
-That Shake and Bake is dead.|
|00:53:04||And we just came up
with a new nickname.|
|00:53:07||-It's so good. It's so good.
-I got a new nickname.|
|00:53:09||The Magic Man.
Now you see me...|
|00:53:13||...now you don't.|
|00:53:15||That is the stupidest nickname
I've ever heard.|
|00:53:17||ls it, Ricky?|
|00:53:19||Because I think
you wish you thought of it.|
|00:53:23||All right. You got me.
That's an awesome nickname.|
|00:53:26||I've always had a lot of great ideas.|
|00:53:28||I also think I might design a car
that's in the shape of a rabbit.|
|00:53:32||lt might poop out little reaI rabbits out
the back that'll run around the track.|
|00:53:36||You have live rabbits
being pooped out onto a track?|
|00:53:39||lf I win, I might do a speciaI thing
with David Copperfield...|
|00:53:42||...where he hides in my car
in the passenger seat...|
|00:53:44||...and he just flings magic stuff
out the window.|
|00:53:47||Did you run any of this
|00:53:49||Watch the maiI for that invitation to
the wedding, because I want you there.|
-I know it...|
|00:53:54||...that some bad stuff happened
just now, but in time--|
|00:53:57||The wedding's not for
a couple of weeks.|
|00:53:59||Why would I come
to your guys' wedding?|
|00:54:01||--you're gonna get over it
and be my best man.|
|00:54:03||I'm not gonna be your best man!|
|00:54:05||Baby, he's not gonna come
to the wedding.|
|00:54:07||Cal, do you realize the implications
of your actions right now?|
|00:54:11||What's ''implication'' mean?|
|00:54:13||We are no longer friends.|
-What do you mean, ''Why?''|
|00:54:18||You're wrecking my life!|
|00:54:19||You just lost your wife.
You just lost your job.|
|00:54:22||Don't throw out your best friend
because of your anger.|
|00:54:26||-That's absolutely ridiculous, man.
|00:54:29||...remember, the field mouse is fast,
but the owI sees at night.|
|00:54:38||That's kind of creepy, ain't it?|
|00:54:43||-Hey, Ricky, I'll call you tomorrow.
|00:54:46||-Bye, kids. I'll see you next weekend.
|00:54:53||Ricky! Boys! ls everything all right?|
|00:54:57||Mama, we got nowhere to go.
Carley and CaI took everything.|
|00:55:01||Well, you're home now,
and you got your mama.|
|00:55:03||Get in here, boys. Come on.|
|00:55:05||Come on. Get in this house.|
|00:55:14||Hey, Ricky. Are you on fire?|
|00:55:17||-Nice denim shorts, dude.
-Hey, shut up, man.|
|00:55:39||Now, you watch yourself.|
|00:55:41||Yes, sir. I'm sorry.
I promise it won't happen again.|
|00:55:51||Hey, sorry, man.|
|00:56:03||I lost my license.|
|00:56:05||That's why I'm on the bus.
I'm delivering pizzas.|
what makes you think I care?|
|00:56:10||Shut the fuck up!|
|00:56:14||I was just telling you that because--|
|00:56:16||Like I said, I lost my license. I've
been having a lot of problems lately.|
|00:56:19||Problems? I don't wanna hear about
your damn problems.|
|00:56:22||Everybody got problems.|
|00:56:24||My mama got problems.
She just lost her leg.|
|00:56:26||My cousin Pookie just lost a testicle.
My dog threw up somebody's finger.|
|00:56:30||That's a problem.|
|00:56:32||I really regret opening my mouth
and talking to you.|
-Get out of the road!|
|00:56:40||Hey, come on, man.
I'm on a bike. Relax.|
|00:56:43||-Hey, shut up!
|00:56:53||Hugalo's Pizza. We are pizza.|
|00:56:57||-You are pizza?
-Yeah, we are pizza. I gotta say it.|
|00:57:02||Either close the door or come in.
I got weed in here, cowboy.|
|00:57:11||You got three pizzas that haven't
been eaten just sitting over there.|
|00:57:15||I know. I've been calling them
all day trying to get you...|
|00:57:18||...but they keep sending me
different delivery people.|
|00:57:20||Trying to get me? Why?|
|00:57:22||Because I'm your daddy, that's why.|
|00:57:25||-What did you just say?
-I said, I'm your daddy.|
|00:57:29||I'm Reese Bobby.|
|00:57:30||Me and your mama did it in a Rustler
Steak House bathroom when I was 1 7.|
|00:57:35||And then you showed up.|
|00:57:46||-Son! Son, did this go good?
|00:57:50||-Seems to me like it went pretty good.
-You're not my dad.|
|00:57:53||-lt got a little heated, but....
-Stop talking to me!|
|00:57:55||Hey, is that a Huffy?
That's a nice-looking bike, boy.|
|00:57:59||I can't believe it!|
|00:58:01||I mean, he's been
blowing me off for 25 years...|
|00:58:04||...and now he wants
to get to know me?|
|00:58:07||How the hell did he even find me?|
|00:58:09||I called him.|
|00:58:10||Are you kidding me?
Mama, why did you go do that?|
|00:58:13||Son, you need help.|
|00:58:15||-I know he's a son of a bitch.
|00:58:18||But you're a grown man.
You're delivering pizzas on a bike.|
|00:58:22||How'd you even get hooked up
with him in the first place?|
|00:58:25||You probably couldn't tell
by looking at him now...|
|00:58:28||...but your daddy used to be
a reaI charmer.|
|00:58:31||And that night in the ladies' room of
the Rustler Steak House, he chose me.|
|00:58:36||-ln a ladies' room?
-Shut up in here! I'm trying to sleep!|
|00:58:41||One of you turds is about
to get smacked in the mouth!|
|00:58:44||Hey, stop yelling at me, okay?
I'm your dad. You're 7 years old.|
|00:58:47||Don't talk like that.|
|00:58:51||Hey. Hey there, Lucy.|
|00:58:53||How you doing?|
|00:58:56||Oh, hey there, Ricky. Look, son...|
|00:58:59||...I know you don't
want me to be here...|
|00:59:02||...but I saw what happened to you
on the television. You saw the fear.|
|00:59:06||-I can help you with that, son.
|00:59:08||What do you care about me or us?
You never even met your grandkids.|
|00:59:12||-What are you looking at, Popeye?
-Shut up, you little pot-licker.|
|00:59:15||I'll put you in a microwave.|
|00:59:17||Now, you show me the DNA test...|
|00:59:19||...and then maybe I'll say hello
to these swamp rats.|
|00:59:22||You people shut the hell up! I got
a wife in an oxygen tent trying to sleep.|
|00:59:27||You better shut up or I'll come
over there and rip a hole in that tent.|
|00:59:30||Yeah, shut up, Frank!|
|00:59:31||Go shave your balls,
you dusty old fart!|
|00:59:34||Okay, I guess they are my grandkids.|
|00:59:39||I know you, son. I know you well.|
|00:59:42||You're just like me. Talladega's
coming up in a couple of weeks...|
|00:59:45||-...and I know you wanna win that thing.
-No, I don't.|
|00:59:51||I'm 55 years old
and all I got to my name is a car...|
|00:59:55||...and a duffle bag full of underwear,
and sweet, stinky weed.|
|00:59:59||How much you selling that weed for,
|01:00:01||I know I screwed up
raising you as a boy...|
|01:00:04||...but just let me help you as a man.|
|01:00:07||-Do it, Dad. Get your balls back.
-Go fast again.|
|01:00:12||Fine. I'll do it.|
|01:00:15||-But I ain't calling you Daddy.
-Well, what you gonna call me?|
|01:00:18||All right, Professor Dickweed.
What's the plan?|
|01:00:21||Well, basically, what happened to you
is that you saw the fear.|
|01:00:25||So before you can even think
about any reaI driving...|
|01:00:28||...you gotta make friends with that fear.
So get in the car.|
|01:00:39||What the hell?!
There's a goddamn cougar in the car!|
|01:00:42||I know there's a cougar,
I put it in there.|
|01:00:44||You gotta learn to drive
with the fear.|
|01:00:47||Ain't nothing more damn frightening
than driving with a cougar in the car.|
|01:00:51||-God, where'd you get that thing?
-I trapped it.|
|01:00:53||Been keeping it in my bathroom
at the motel, feeding it old pizza.|
|01:00:56||-Now get back in that car, you hear me?
-No, I'm not getting in that car.|
|01:01:00||Hey, listen to me. lf you're calm,
that wondrous big cat will be calm too.|
|01:01:05||But if you're scared...|
|01:01:06||...that beautifuI death machine
will do what God made it to do...|
|01:01:10||...namely, eat you
with a smile on its face.|
|01:01:13||God, he's just following me
wherever I go.|
|01:01:15||Well, he's just looking at you.|
|01:01:17||You're saying if I just calm down,
the cougar will be okay?|
|01:01:20||-You got it.
-Damn it. Okay.|
|01:01:23||Come on, son.
You can do it. Come on.|
|01:01:25||Oh, come on.|
|01:01:30||-And no sudden moves.
-Like, is this too fast? Oh, man. See?|
|01:01:34||-That's a little quick.
-You see what he did?|
|01:01:36||You gotta be a little more deliberate
in your movement.|
|01:01:39||I'm just gonna get in there.
I'm just gonna grab the handle.|
|01:01:41||I'm gonna get in and drive that car.
I'm gonna do it calm.|
|01:01:44||-Calm. Piece of cake.
-I was just trying to stay calm.|
-Sometime today, son.|
|01:01:52||Okay, here we go. I'm getting in.|
|01:01:55||Oh, God, help me!|
|01:01:58||-Ricky! ControI your heart rate.
-Oh, my God!|
|01:02:06||Well, hey there, Ricky. How'd it go?|
|01:02:08||Well, I was mauled by a cougar...|
|01:02:11||...learned nothing about driving,
and my CrystaI Gayle shirt was ruined.|
|01:02:15||But other than that, it went fine.|
|01:02:17||Where are the boys at?|
|01:02:18||I dropped them off at Sunday school
at my church about 1 0 minutes ago.|
|01:02:26||-There they are.
-What in tarnation?|
-I don't even know what that means...|
|01:02:33||...but I love it!|
|01:02:37||-What in the hell?
-That is it!|
|01:02:40||That puts the lid right on the jar!|
-No, Ricky, no.|
|01:02:45||I will not have my grandbabies
acting like shiftless, wild hobos.|
|01:02:48||All right, now, you boys listen up,
and you listen good.|
|01:02:51||Now, I am declaring Granny Law.|
|01:02:55||And if you do not obey Granny Law...|
|01:02:59||...I will paint your back porch red.|
but you're shit out of luck.|
|01:03:04||We make the rules, not you.|
|01:03:11||You're gonna break us
like wild horses, ain't you?|
|01:03:14||It's the beginning of a new age.|
|01:03:19||Hey, Derek, it's Ricky.|
if you can ditch school...|
|01:03:24||...and take over my shift
at the pizza place...|
|01:03:27||...because I got strep throat.|
|01:03:29||And it's bad. I don't wanna
give it to everyone else.|
|01:03:32||So call me back.
You know the number.|
|01:03:37||Hey, man. How's it going?
You wanna come over and party?|
|01:03:40||Did you just say ''party''?|
|01:03:41||You know what? No.
Because I still hate you, okay?|
|01:03:44||-What are you so mad about?
-What do you think I'm mad about?|
|01:03:47||Come on, man, that was last week.|
|01:03:50||What about the time you ran over
my leg with a car?|
|01:03:57||Wind is kicking up.|
|01:03:59||Are you in the hot tub?|
|01:04:01||Answer me this:
When you're in spa mode...|
|01:04:05||...how come the water level
drops in the spa?|
|01:04:08||Are you pressing the buttons
in the back panel or in the kitchen?|
|01:04:11||-I just started pressing stuff.
-Hey, don't press all those buttons.|
|01:04:16||I'm getting bored. You wanna
come over and play G.l. Joes?|
|01:04:19||I would love to. No!|
|01:04:21||Come on. You know what?
Screw you, man.|
|01:04:24||Ricky, man, you gotta
cross over the anger bridge.|
|01:04:26||Come back to the friendship shore.|
|01:04:29||-''Cross over the anger bridge''?
-Yeah, that's where you're at.|
|01:04:32||You're stuck on an anger bridge.|
|01:04:34||Can you not see why
I'm stuck on the anger bridge?|
|01:04:38||Look, I don't know why I'm talking
to you, okay? What is it?|
|01:04:41||They got bottomless nachos
|01:04:45||God, a whole mess of nachos
sounds good right now.|
|01:04:48||I don't have a car no more.
Can you come get me?|
|01:04:50||I'll get you. Which one of your cars do
you miss the most? I'll bring that one.|
|01:04:54||-I miss the Hummer.
-I'm coming in the Hummer.|
|01:04:56||-Are you ready?
-Yeah. No, wait.|
|01:04:58||Okay. Our friendship is done.
-You wanna hang out in your house.|
-Screw you, dude. I'm hanging up.|
|01:05:05||Okay, that's it. Bye.|
|01:05:08||Oh, man, this is absolutely crazy.
I mean, this is borderline reckless.|
|01:05:12||Don't you get it? You don't drive with
your eyes, you drive with your heart.|
|01:05:16||This is just dumb.
I can't see a thing.|
|01:05:18||You gotta feel the road.
You gotta let it live inside you.|
|01:05:22||-Are you feeling anything now?
-I'm feeling a little bit.|
|01:05:24||What do you feel?
Tell me what you're feeling.|
|01:05:27||I'm feeling the worn wood
of the steering wheel.|
|01:05:30||-Yeah. What else?
-A little bit of heat.|
|01:05:32||That's you and the car
|01:05:34||Yeah, now I'm really feeling it.
I feel like the car could drive itself.|
|01:05:38||I bet it could. Start her up.|
|01:05:40||I'm gonna start this car up.|
|01:05:42||Attaboy. All right, son.|
I really thought I could feel it.|
|01:06:07||You know what? We better hightaiI it
out of here. Frank's gonna be pissed.|
|01:06:12||No, no, Ricky. No blindfold.|
|01:06:16||Get this highway clean, come on.|
|01:06:19||I gotta tell you, Granny, this blows.|
|01:06:22||-How much more of this?
-I don't know.|
|01:06:25||How many more times are you gonna
toss me the radio in the bathtub?|
-Hey, man. You up?|
-Wake up. I need to talk to you.|
|01:06:43||I think your house is haunted.|
|01:06:45||Hey, come on.
It's 2:30 in the morning.|
|01:06:47||I can't sleep in here, man.
|01:06:51||Look, there's nothing to be scared of.
It's a new house...|
|01:06:54||...there's a lot of creaks and moans
and groans in it.|
|01:06:56||-Put on-- You got your TV on?
-Well, yeah, I fell asleep with it on.|
|01:07:01||-Turn on channel 42.
|01:07:04||-Look at them buns.
-Well, that is a set of buns.|
|01:07:08||And down, and down, and--|
|01:07:10||What's she doing exercising
at 2:30 in the morning?|
|01:07:12||Oh, yeah, that's a really good point.|
|01:07:14||I don't know why I'm talking to you.
Do you remember that I hate you?|
|01:07:18||Hey, man, you know what
I was thinking?|
-Well, check it out.|
|01:07:26||I'm sitting here in this enormous
haunted mansion, can't sleep.|
|01:07:30||You're hanging out at your mom's.
|01:07:33||-That's, like, the opposite of awesome.
-Well, this is like a hotel room...|
|01:07:37||...with someone else's junk in it.|
|01:07:39||Okay, yeah, well, that someone else's
junk, that used to be my stuff.|
|01:07:43||I'm just having a hard time, man.
I'm just calling up for some support.|
|01:07:47||Do you--? Do you know
how crazy that sounds?|
|01:07:50||-Hey, one more thing.
|01:07:52||When you have the stereo on
at the same time as the TV...|
|01:07:57||...how do you controI the volume
on the TV?|
|01:07:59||Why do you want to listen to the TV
with the stereo on?|
|01:08:02||Because I like to party.|
|01:08:04||Why am I still talking to you?|
We were doing good there, man.|
|01:08:08||I'm taking care of your house good.|
|01:08:10||I keep snapping back into it.
It's like a trick you're pulling on me.|
|01:08:14||-All right. I'll talk to you tomorrow.
-All right, man. Talk to you tomorrow.|
|01:08:33||Where did stock-car racing
|01:08:37||-Hey, stop doing that.
-How did stock-car racing get its start?|
|01:08:40||Bootleggers in Prohibition had to have
cars fast enough to outrun the Feds...|
|01:08:44||-...then they started racing each other.
|01:08:47||lf I was right, why'd you throw
another bucket on me?|
|01:08:51||I filled up three. Now, there's nothing
like driving to avoid jail.|
|01:08:55||Nothing hones your mind
and your instincts like necessity.|
|01:08:58||So I taped a kilo of cocaine underneath
the car and called the boys in blue.|
|01:09:02||Now, the way I figure it,
you got about two minutes...|
|01:09:05||...before they show up
and you do five to 1 0.|
|01:09:09||So, what's it gonna be?
Fear or prison?|
|01:09:13||-What the hell are you talking about?
-ReaI simple, son.|
|01:09:16||Cops are coming.|
|01:09:17||There's a kilo of Colombian bam-bam
under the car. Time to be a man.|
|01:09:23||-You got hair on your peaches or what?
-You're not kidding, are you? Man.|
|01:09:28||You crazy creep!|
|01:09:37||Come on, son.
What's it gonna be?|
|01:09:40||Speed or jail?|
|01:09:51||Grandpa, would you like
to take us fishing...|
|01:09:54||...and tell us life lessons and stories
about your childhood?|
|01:09:57||I got a better idea.|
|01:09:59||Why don't you boys go dig a hole
and I'll get another beer?|
|01:10:02||Someone didn't love you enough
when you were little, did they?|
Here, that's worth a nickel.|
|01:10:17||Son of a bitch, son of a bitch,
son of a bitch.|
|01:10:20||Oh, man. Oh, man!|
|01:10:28||I'm going fast again!|
|01:10:50||Pull over! Pull over!|
I'll pull over for you. How about this?|
|01:11:31||Where are you?|
|01:11:49||''Feels good going fast, doesn't it?|
|01:11:51||By the way, don't try and snort
these Lucky Charms. Reese.''|
|01:12:14||There you go, little man.|
|01:12:28||How you doing?|
|01:12:34||-Oh, Nana, not my prison shank.
-ln the can.|
mother-flipping driving test.|
|01:12:50||Mr. Bobby, you are magnificent.|
|01:12:54||Down, Karen! Get down!
Get down, Karen!|
|01:12:59||It's all right. It's gonna be okay.|
|01:13:09||Well, son, you are looking good
behind that wheel.|
|01:13:13||Thanks, Daddy. I gotta tell you,
I feel good. Heck, you know what?|
|01:13:17||Let's go out tonight, you know,
the whole family.|
|01:13:20||I'm talking about sitting down,
enjoying a gourmet meal...|
|01:13:23||...at a place that's reaI special.|
|01:13:26||-Hi. Those plates are hot. Enjoy.
-You got your own skillet.|
|01:13:29||-Be back to check on you in a minute.
|01:13:32||Oh, gooder than grits.|
|01:13:34||Let us pray.|
|01:13:38||Dear Lord baby Jesus...|
in your little ghost manger...|
|01:13:43||...just looking at your Baby Einstein
|01:13:46||...learning about shapes
and colors and....|
|01:13:49||We just have so much
to be thankfuI for.|
|01:13:51||First off, my sons no longer act...|
|01:13:54||-...like retarded gangbangers.
|01:13:56||Also, I got my balls back
behind the wheel of a car.|
|01:13:59||And most importantly,
we thank you...|
|01:14:01||...for bringing back our nasty,
delinquent, pot-dealing daddy to us.|
|01:14:05||For he was lost,
but now he is found. Amen.|
|01:14:11||Son, that was lovely.|
|01:14:13||-What a lovely meal.
-lt sure is.|
|01:14:15||lt certainly does look delicious.|
|01:14:17||I gotta tell you, this is about
a damn perfect evening right now.|
|01:14:20||lt is, isn't it?|
|01:14:23||You know what we should do?|
|01:14:25||Every week, we should come back
to this Applebee's...|
|01:14:29||...and sit at this table,
and have a family meal.|
|01:14:32||-That's a great idea, Mama.
-And order the same stuff.|
|01:14:35||-That would be great.
-And I would be delighted, Reese...|
|01:14:38||...if you would accompany me to
ballroom dancing on Tuesday nights.|
-It's a lot of fun.|
|01:14:44||-I think you'd have a good time.
-How's everybody doing here?|
|01:14:47||-Dolly, it's so good.
-Oh, it's really, really good.|
|01:14:50||You know, I just--
I hate to be a pain, darling...|
|01:14:57||...but I asked for no onions
on my Bourbon Steak.|
|01:15:00||I am so sorry.
I thought you asked for onions--|
maybe don't interrupt me.|
|01:15:05||-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.
-Yeah, well, I think you did mean to...|
|01:15:08||...and I also think that you meant
to put the damn onions on my steak.|
|01:15:14||...can't we resolve
this conflict without anger?|
|01:15:19||-I'm a veteran and a diabetic!
|01:15:22||-Dad! Why are you doing this?
-Applebee's has rats!|
|01:15:26||I found a whole rat
in my Cobb salad!|
|01:15:29||Dad, where are you going?|
|01:15:30||Come on, frat boy, you wanna go?|
|01:15:33||-What's going on, man?
-Ricky, let him go!|
|01:15:36||-Things were going good, weren't they?
-That's exactly why I had to blow it up.|
|01:15:40||I don't know what organ or bone
|01:15:42||...that makes them act right,
but I was born without it. I'm no good.|
|01:15:45||All those races I won,
that was for you, you know that?|
|01:15:50||I did just like you told me:
''lf you ain't first, you're last.''|
|01:15:55||What the hell are you talking about?|
|01:15:57||What you told me
that day at schooI for career day.|
|01:16:01||You came in and you said,
''lf you ain't first, you're last.''|
|01:16:06||Oh, hell, Ricky,
I was high when I said that.|
|01:16:10||That doesn't make any sense at all.|
|01:16:12||''You're first or last.'' You can
be second, you can be third, fourth.|
|01:16:16||Hell, you can even be fifth.|
|01:16:18||What are you talking about?
I lived my whole life based on that.|
|01:16:23||Well, now what the hell
am I supposed to do?|
|01:16:27||Well, that's the million-dollar question,
|01:16:34||Good luck to you, son.|
|01:16:40||Where are you going?|
|01:16:42||Does it matter?|
|01:17:15||Here we go.|
|01:17:18||Hey, don't bump me.|
|01:17:21||Oh, man, I'm flying.|
|01:17:28||Game over. Come on, reset.|
|01:17:31||Boy, you are a terrible driver, no?|
|01:17:34||How'd you get on a video game
|01:17:36||ls your name, by chance,
|01:17:40||Hey, screw you, man!
I got nothing because of you!|
|01:17:46||-I hate you!
|01:17:48||I am on fire. I am on fire.|
|01:17:53||And so then I got a marketing
job with NASCAR.|
-Yeah, it's great. It's great.|
|01:18:00||Well, gosh, you look fantastic.|
-I mean, you've always looked good.|
|01:18:08||I mean, I'm just-- I'm happy for you.|
|01:18:15||But what about you?|
|01:18:17||How have you been?
What have you been doing?|
|01:18:19||Well, they want me to race at Talladega
next weekend, but I'm not gonna do it.|
|01:18:23||Because I'm done.
I'm done with the racing, with driving.|
|01:18:26||-Why would you do that?
-Because I've really moved on.|
|01:18:29||I've sent in my application to
The ReaI World...|
|01:18:32||...so I'm hoping to hear back.|
|01:18:33||I'm putting a lot of my eggs into
that basket, the MTV basket.|
|01:18:37||I'm also thinking about getting a gun
and dealing crack.|
|01:18:40||Being a crack dealer, but not like
a mean crack dealer, but like a....|
|01:18:44||You know, like a nice one.|
|01:18:47||Just kind of friendly, like, ''Hey...|
|01:18:49||...what's up, guys?
You want some crack?''|
|01:18:51||I'm just waiting on those two things
to kind of flesh themselves out.|
|01:18:55||You know what, Ricky?|
|01:18:56||I have kept my mouth shut
for a really, really long time.|
|01:19:00||And I just don't think that I can
keep it shut anymore.|
|01:19:03||I just have to tell you that I think
you are making a big mistake.|
|01:19:08||Why is it that you always fall
for people who leave you?|
|01:19:12||Have you noticed that?|
|01:19:14||Like Carley and your dad
and your sponsors.|
|01:19:19||And you always have
to prove yourself. Wh--?|
|01:19:24||Well, you gotta listen
to me here, okay?|
|01:19:27||You gotta win to get love.
Everyone knows that.|
|01:19:31||I mean, that's just life.|
|01:19:37||Look at Don Shula,
|01:19:40||Look at that Asian guy
who holds the world record...|
|01:19:43||...for eating all those hot dogs
in a row.|
|01:19:46||Look at Rue McClanahan
from The Golden Girls.|
|01:19:50||All three people,
all great champions, all loved.|
|01:19:54||Do you wanna know why I think
that you should race again?|
|01:19:59||Okay. It's because
it's what you love, Ricky.|
|01:20:03||lt is who you were born to be.|
|01:20:06||And here you sit, thinking.|
|01:20:10||Well, Ricky Bobby is not a thinker.
Ricky Bobby is a driver.|
|01:20:15||He is a doer.
And that's what you need to do.|
|01:20:18||You don't need to think,
you need to drive.|
|01:20:20||You need speed. You need to go out
there, and you need to rev your engine.|
|01:20:24||You need to fire it up.|
|01:20:25||You need to grab hold of the line
between speed and chaos...|
|01:20:28||...and you need to wrestle it
to the ground like a demon cobra.|
|01:20:31||And then, when that fear rises up
in your belly, you use it...|
|01:20:34||...and you know that fear is powerful
because it has been there...|
|01:20:37||...for billions of years! And it is good,
and you use it, and you ride it.|
|01:20:41||You ride it like a skeleton horse
through the gates of hell...|
|01:20:44||...and then you win! You win!|
|01:20:46||You don't win for anybody else,
you win for you. You know why?|
|01:20:49||Because a man takes what he wants,
he takes it all.|
|01:20:51||And you're a man, aren't you?
|01:20:55||Susan, I've never heard you
talk like that.|
|01:21:00||Are we about to get it on?|
|01:21:02||Because I'm as hard as a diamond
in an ice storm right now.|
|01:21:09||-This is awesome.
-Yes, it is.|
|01:21:11||-Are you climbing on the table now?
|01:21:20||I can't believe this.|
|01:21:22||This is like that Whitesnake video
where the girI crawls on....|
|01:21:28||Yeah. Just like that.
What's her name?|
|01:21:31||Tawny Kitaen. She's really good.|
|01:21:37||Everyone, turn away.|
|01:21:38||Things are gonna get crazy.
We're gonna make animaI noises.|
|01:22:18||-Looks good, damn good.
-Yeah. That's good, guys.|
|01:22:20||Yeah, Ricky, it's good to be back.|
|01:22:25||I missed you dudes.|
|01:22:27||Even you too, Glenn.|
|01:22:30||I didn't have a whole lot of money left,
but what I did I put into the car.|
|01:22:35||We got some lower-end sponsors,
so it's nothing to shout about...|
|01:22:38||...but at least we got
something to run in.|
|01:22:41||Let's see what we got, guys.|
|01:22:44||What are we looking at?
''Julio's thongs for men''?|
|01:22:47||Come on, what kind of dude
wears a thong?|
|01:22:49||Yeah, that's messed up.|
|01:22:52||Perverts, you know?|
|01:22:54||It's not the best car, but it'll move.|
|01:22:57||Hold on, now, baby. Let's just see
what this thing's got under the hood.|
|01:23:03||-There she is.
-Looks like the Pep Boys threw up.|
-Like I said, work in progress.|
|01:23:08||All right, I tell you what we gotta do.
Since we got no corporate money...|
|01:23:12||...we have to build this
|01:23:14||I want you to hit up every independent
driver out there for spare parts.|
|01:23:18||Yeah, Lucius, that's crazy.|
|01:23:20||Well, crazy is all we got
right now, okay? So do it.|
|01:23:24||Now, where you going?|
|01:23:25||I wanna tell Gerard Depardieu
we're coming for him.|
|01:23:27||There you go, baby. Give him hell.|
|01:23:30||Get this engine built. Get it built.|
|01:23:40||I have not finished.|
Ricky Bobby is here to see you.|
|01:23:54||This is the one I was talking about,
|01:23:59||Thank you, Bacco. Go.|
|01:24:02||You're a tough man to find.
You know that, buster?|
|01:24:05||I prefer solitude
the day before a race.|
|01:24:08||I am being so incredibly rude,
|01:24:11||Let me introduce you
to my lunch guests.|
|01:24:13||This is my dear old friend
|01:24:17||DelightfuI to meet you, Mr. Robert.
I thought you were dead.|
|01:24:21||And next to him is hip-hop artist,
poet and my brother-in-law, Mos Def.|
|01:24:28||I like your driving style.
I'm more of a Tony Stewart man...|
|01:24:30||...number 20 car, myself.|
|01:24:32||How he gets into
|01:24:34||Gets it in the paint. Get her done!|
|01:24:36||And across from Monsieur Def...|
|01:24:41||Hey. You're Breeze or you're Breeze?
Which one of you is Breeze?|
|01:24:45||Together we are Breeze.|
|01:24:47||They are like twins,
born from different wombs.|
-They are God's most...|
|01:24:56||They do everything together.
|01:25:00||They read the same books.|
|01:25:02||They do Pilates together.|
|01:25:07||They walk, talk, sleep...|
|01:25:10||...even go make toilet.|
|01:25:12||Okay, you're starting
to creep me out, man.|
|01:25:14||A single plop.|
|01:25:16||One single plop.|
|01:25:19||I don't need to hear about
doing a toilet.|
|01:25:21||You want more examples?|
|01:25:23||-No, you listed like 8000.
-Less than that.|
|01:25:26||-It's none of my business.
|01:25:28||...I don't know, between five and 1 0.|
|01:25:30||Look, I need to talk to you.|
|01:25:32||Walk with me, Ricky Bobby.|
|01:25:34||-You have a good lunch.
-Take care, man.|
|01:25:39||Holding hands with a man
makes me terribly uncomfortable.|
|01:25:42||lt is a sign of friendship
in many countries.|
|01:25:46||Well, not in ours.|
|01:25:48||There's nothing sexuaI about it.|
|01:25:50||Please don't be worried at the fact
I have an erection.|
|01:25:53||-lt has nothing to do with you.
-Hey, come on.|
|01:25:56||Look. Here's the deal.
I came here to tell you one thing.|
Tomorrow, I'm coming for you.|
|01:26:04||Do you know why I came to America,
|01:26:08||Public schools, health-care system,
giant water parks.|
|01:26:11||I mean, the same reason
anyone comes to America.|
|01:26:14||I came here for you to beat me.|
|01:26:18||-What the hell are you talking about?
-My husband, Gregory, and l...|
|01:26:21||...wish only for that
which every other couple wishes for:|
|01:26:25||To tame Komodo dragons
in Sri Lanka...|
|01:26:30||...and teach them
to perform Hamlet.|
|01:26:33||But before I can do that....|
-It's not dumb.|
|01:26:37||-lt is dumb.
-Why is it dumb?|
|01:26:39||-I don't know.
-But before I can do that...|
|01:26:42||...I must be beaten by a driver
who's truly better than me.|
|01:26:46||So you're gonna lose to me
|01:26:53||I will battle you with the entirety
of my heart.|
|01:26:56||And you will probably lose.|
|01:26:58||But maybe, just maybe...|
|01:27:03||...you might challenge me.|
|01:27:06||God needs the devil.|
|01:27:08||The Beatles needed
the Rolling Stones.|
|01:27:11||Even Diane Sawyer
needed Katie Couric.|
|01:27:15||Will you be my Katie Couric?|
|01:27:21||I feel like I'm in Highlander.|
|01:27:26||What's the Highlander?|
|01:27:28||It's a movie.|
|01:27:31||-lt won the Academy Award.
-Oh, for what?|
|01:27:33||For best movie ever made.|
|01:27:35||I just want you to know I came here
today to tell you one thing.|
|01:27:38||That come race time tomorrow,
I'm coming for you, all right?|
|01:27:42||-May God be with you.
today I am friendly...|
|01:27:49||...tomorrow will be war!|
|01:28:01||Ladies and gentlemen, pull up a chair,
drop the kids off with their aunt...|
|01:28:04||...and take the phone off the hook
because it's race day here...|
|01:28:07||...at the Talladega Superspeedway.|
|01:28:24||-Why so down?
|01:28:26||...we were up all night
working on the car.|
|01:28:29||And then something happened.
There was a fire.|
|01:28:31||Did you say ''fire''?|
|01:28:33||Glenn is dead, Ricky.|
he died last night in my arms...|
|01:28:39||-...as I held him.
|01:28:41||He was so scared,
because you know how little he is.|
|01:28:43||And death was coming for him,
and he stood there...|
|01:28:46||...and with a tear coming out his eyes,
he said, ''Tell Ricky, win for me.''|
|01:28:50||That's all that little bastard wanted,
was for you to win.|
|01:28:53||I wish you could've seen him.|
|01:28:54||I wish you could've felt
his little heart fluttering.|
|01:29:03||Hey, what the hell, man.
Hey, Glenn. Glenn!|
|01:29:08||-I see you.
-Glenn, what did I say?|
|01:29:12||-I said, ''Wait till after the race.''
-Was he crying?|
|01:29:15||I'm sorry, Ricky. We were just trying to
give you a little extra motivation.|
|01:29:18||Well, that is just sick, guys.|
|01:29:21||It's okay, Susie.
I appreciate it, guys.|
|01:29:24||Just trying to help out...|
it was weird and perverse.|
|01:29:29||They're just trying to help, Ricky.
We're a team here.|
|01:29:32||-I appreciate it.
-Let's see what's under the hood.|
|01:29:34||All right, let's have a look.|
|01:29:42||Hot dog. I mean, that's like looking up
Bridgette Wilson-Sampras' skirt.|
|01:29:45||We were up all night working on it.
Like I said, a lot of teams gave parts.|
|01:29:49||Nice work, guys.|
|01:29:50||And your sponsors weren't doing
very much, so...|
|01:29:54||...well, we repainted the car.|
|01:29:56||Well, take a look. Come on, guys.|
|01:30:01||Well, I like the cougar,
but what company is ''M.E.''?|
|01:30:05||''Me'' is you...|
|01:30:07||...because it's just you out there.|
|01:30:09||We don't have
any corporate sponsors.|
|01:30:12||We don't have
any fancy team owners.|
|01:30:14||We have you...|
|01:30:16||...and this car, and this cougar...|
|01:30:19||...which symbolizes the fear
that you have overcome.|
|01:30:22||It's all there for you.|
|01:30:25||Ricky, this car is like your Excalibur,
the mighty sword King Arthur used...|
|01:30:30||...to bring together
the Knights of the Round Table...|
|01:30:32||...untiI Lancelot betrayed him by laying
with his queen, in the biblicaI sense.|
|01:30:39||Everything cooI that Susan said,
you wrecked it.|
|01:30:44||Guys, let's go win ourselves
a race, all right?|
|01:30:46||-There you go. Yeah!
|01:30:49||Let's get out there and win a race.|
|01:31:05||From Provence, France...|
|01:31:07||...driver of the number 55
|01:31:21||From West River, North Carolina...|
|01:31:24||...driver of the number 47
Old Spice car...|
|01:31:27||... CaI Naughton Jr.|
-Carley! Hey, baby.|
|01:31:49||Oh, hey, Ricky.|
We missed you at the wedding.|
|01:31:54||-You missed me at the wedding?
-Oh, man, it was so classy.|
|01:31:57||We had a Styx cover band
and a nacho fountain.|
|01:32:01||Check it, it was a nacho fountain
with six kinds of cheese on it.|
|01:32:04||-Liquid cheese? lt cascaded down?
|01:32:07||-Are you serious?
-Amazing. Six different kinds.|
What was the other one?|
|01:32:12||That's the greatest thing
I ever heard of.|
|01:32:15||Bean buffet in front of it.
lt was awesome.|
|01:32:17||Don't listen to him. And remember
one thing, he's the competition.|
|01:32:20||You're not very focused right now.
I need you to focus.|
|01:32:25||-I'm the Magic Man now. Okay?
-Yeah, I know.|
|01:32:27||So get ready for some tricks up
these sleeves, all right?|
|01:32:30||Watch your buns, pal.|
|01:32:32||Baby, that is reaI good talk.
Like we practiced last night.|
|01:32:35||I got something to tell you,
you mangy piece of trash.|
|01:32:42||I took you for granted, Cal, and you
were a really good friend to me...|
|01:32:46||...and I never gave you your due.
lt was my fault.|
|01:32:50||I'll tell you the truth.
I'm a little confused by your tactics.|
-Yeah. I'm gonna keep acting tough...|
|01:32:57||...untiI I figure it out. All right?|
|01:33:00||See you on the track.|
|01:33:02||-Come on, baby.
-I love you.|
|01:33:04||I love you too. Come on.|
|01:33:12||Hi, Bill Weber, along with
Wally Dallenbach and Benny Parsons.|
|01:33:15||Thanks for having us. Today,
Talladega, NASCAR's biggest track...|
|01:33:19||...where the big concern
is the big wreck.|
|01:33:21||And it's not if it happens,
it's where and when.|
|01:33:23||We have a guy in the race today
that'll probably cause it, Ricky Bobby.|
|01:33:27||Starting in the rear of the field,
|01:33:29||...and the last time we saw him,
he caused a big crash.|
|01:33:32||A lot of big stories and some
big questions here at Talladega.|
|01:33:48||All right, go get them.|
|01:34:04||You must decide, Ricky Bobby.|
|01:34:06||ls it foolish pride,
or is it greatness for you?|
-Go ahead, Cal.|
|01:34:21||lf you slept with
your best friend's wife...|
|01:34:24||-...why would he apologize to you?
-Yeah, I know. That's weird.|
|01:34:28||That's what I'm saying.
My head's all tied up like a pretzel.|
|01:34:32||I got a pretzel in my head.|
-Come on, Dad!|
|01:35:07||I've got some big investors
|01:35:09||These guys are
big-money power players.|
|01:35:11||lf things go right, they could have us
owning half the cars in NASCAR.|
|01:35:14||So I want you--
No, I want you to behave.|
|01:35:18||Should I not tell them
after 1 4 years of marriage...|
|01:35:20||...you're still afraid
to let me see you naked?|
|01:35:23||That's not a fear thing,
it's a trust thing.|
|01:35:25||Hey! I was wondering
where you guys got off to.|
|01:35:28||Baby, this is Ted Beamen
|01:35:31||-Nice to meet you.
|01:35:33||...is Dick Tangfield
|01:35:36||-Back there is....
-You have beautifuI teeth.|
|01:35:38||Yes, he does.
Get yourselves down there.|
-Make yourselves at home...|
|01:35:42||-...grab something to eat, over here....
|01:35:45||You're a sweetie pie.|
|01:35:47||She's very affectionate.
She suffered a recent loss--|
|01:35:50||You taste good too.|
|01:35:52||--so she's a little emotional.|
|01:35:54||Okay, that's fine. Go ahead, find a seat.
Can we get these guys something?|
|01:35:58||Jean Girard started from the pole
and is out to a big lead.|
|01:36:02||As you know, Bill,
he's been doing that all year.|
|01:36:06||Where are you, Ricky Bobby?
Come face your destroyer!|
|01:36:11||''Come face your destroyer''?
Listen to how I sound.|
|01:36:14||I sound like a massive prick.|
|01:36:18||Come on, baby! Yeah, that's it.|
|01:36:20||All right, Lucius.
Time to let the cougar loose.|
|01:36:25||Here we go, boys.|
|01:36:34||Ricky Bobby, in the 6 2 car,
on the move.|
|01:36:37||He's gone from 26th to 1 8th place.|
|01:36:40||Now let's go to John Hannafin, in the
stands with a country-music legend.|
|01:36:43||Thank you, Sean. I'm here with one
of the greatest country-music stars...|
|01:36:47||...of all time, Kenny Rogers.|
|01:36:49||-What do you think of the race so far?
-It's good. They're going really fast.|
|01:36:53||John, that's not Kenny Rogers.|
|01:36:55||ln the song ''The Gambler,''
|01:36:58||''You gotta know when to walk away
and know when to run.''|
|01:37:01||Should Ricky Bobby have
stayed away from racing?|
|01:37:04||Mr. Bobby's very competitive.
lf he wants to race, he should race.|
|01:37:09||Well, this is John Hannafin with Kenny
Rogers. And now back to you, Bill.|
|01:37:13||Well, that, of course,
was not Kenny Rogers.|
|01:37:15||Not even close.|
|01:37:17||Ricky, you've got Brian Wavecrest...|
|01:37:20||...the guy that replaced you
at Dennit, dead ahead.|
|01:37:22||Bobby working really hard to pass
the Wonder Bread car.|
|01:37:25||That's his old ride, of course.|
|01:37:34||We've passed the halfway mark
with Ricky Bobby...|
|01:37:36||...now three car lengths
behind the leader.|
you slept with Ricky's wife...|
|01:37:43||...as a way of getting back at him...|
|01:37:45||...for making you
come in second all those years.|
|01:37:48||I know one thing, Carley was definitely
unconscious every time we had sex.|
|01:37:54||Lucius, I got CaI Naughton
dead ahead of me.|
|01:37:59||Hey, Cal, you should pay attention.
I think he's passing you.|
|01:38:02||ls Ricky passing me
in my subconscious?|
|01:38:05||No, he's actually passing you.
That's happening right now.|
|01:38:08||Go, Ricky! Go!|
|01:38:10||Let's go back to our
|01:38:12||...who's in the stands
with an NBA legend, Larry Bird.|
|01:38:16||Folks, I'm here with one of the great
|01:38:18||...a reaI legend, Larry Bird.|
|01:38:20||I almost didn't recognize you with
the sunglasses. What are you up to?|
|01:38:24||Come on, John, pay attention.|
He might have had a stroke.|
|01:38:28||Didn't Ricky Bobby used to
drive for you?|
|01:38:31||-Oh, yeah, yeah.
-He's doing quite well.|
|01:38:33||Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Richard!|
|01:38:37||Get CaI Naughton's crew chief
on the radio right away.|
|01:38:41||I believe you have some tickets waiting
for me. My name's Reese Bobby.|
|01:38:48||Mister, these tickets have been waiting
for you for a long time.|
|01:38:59||Who needs two? I got tickets!|
|01:39:01||Tickets, right here, 60 bucks a pop.|
|01:39:11||All right, Girard, I found you.
Now let's see where this goes.|
|01:39:15||Bobby's gotten around Naughton...|
|01:39:17||...and now he's right behind Girard,
but Girard's gonna block the track.|
|01:39:21||Man, he's scary good.|
|01:39:23||Ah, Ricky Bobby.|
|01:39:25||Now we shall dance,
and yes, it will be a slow jam.|
|01:39:36||Damn it. Come on, man.|
|01:39:41||I was wrong about you, Ricky Bobby.|
|01:39:44||You are not the one to defeat me.|
|01:39:50||I can't get around him, man.|
|01:39:56||You tell CaI Naughton
to take Ricky Bobby out.|
|01:39:58||Hey, Cal, listen. I hate to add
to your tremendous moraI confusion...|
|01:40:03||...but I just heard from Dennit.|
|01:40:04||He said to take Ricky Bobby
out of the race or you're fired, buddy.|
|01:40:08||What are you talking about?|
|01:40:09||Tell him if he doesn't do it, he's done.
That's right, he'll be driving a tour bus.|
|01:40:13||Well, you tell Mr. Dennit that
Ricky Bobby is my best friend.|
|01:40:18||-And it's Shake and Bake time.
-Cal, I don't like the way...|
|01:40:21||-...you're talking out there.
-Damn the torpedoes!|
|01:40:32||Come on, man, slingshot it.
Slingshot, come on.|
|01:40:37||I can't believe it.
lf it isn't Mike Honcho himself.|
|01:40:40||Shake and Bake, buddy!|
|01:40:42||Shake it before you bake it.|
|01:40:44||Here I come. Slingshot engaged.|
|01:40:53||I love you, Cal!|
|01:40:55||-What are you doing?
-Can't believe it. Now I've seen it all.|
|01:40:58||CaI Naughton from Dennit Racing just
helped a rivaI driver pass a teammate.|
|01:41:05||Darrell, you tell Brian Wavecrest
to take out CaI Naughton right now.|
|01:41:09||Right now, you do it. You do it!|
|01:41:21||And the 26 car just ran Naughton
into the wall.|
|01:41:38||Damn you, Wavecrest!|
|01:41:43||The entire field was in that wreck,
and we've only got six laps to go.|
|01:41:48||Only Ricky Bobby and Jean Girard
got away clean.|
|01:41:53||It's just Jean and Ricky.|
|01:42:00||And now the matador shall dance
with the blind shoemaker.|
|01:42:07||Race officials have completed
an extensive cleanup of the track.|
|01:42:10||We're ready to get back to racing.|
|01:42:12||The 200,000 fans are on their feet,
and the green flag is in the air.|
|01:42:25||Bobby and Girard are
dueling each other for the lead.|
|01:42:27||No one seems to have the edge.|
|01:42:30||Go, go, go! Come on, come on, go!|
|01:42:32||Ladies and gentlemen,
this is the finaI lap.|
|01:42:38||By the way, Ricky,
I watched the Highlander movie.|
|01:42:42||lt was shit.|
|01:42:45||Hang on, baby Jesus,
this is gonna get bumpy.|
|01:43:15||I've seen a lot of big crashes
|01:43:17||...but this is the longest one
I've ever seen.|
|01:43:19||Let's take a quick commerciaI break
and we'll be right back.|
|01:43:22||Hungry for both steak and shrimp?|
|01:43:32||Welcome back to Talladega,
where the long one continues.|
|01:43:43||No, no! Jean Girard and Ricky Bobby
have wrecked in the last lap...|
|01:43:47||...on the straightaway.
What a shame.|
|01:43:52||lt looks like neither Girard or Bobby
will finish this race.|
|01:43:56||We'd like to thank you for joining us
for NBC's coverage of NAS CAR.|
|01:43:59||Coming up next,
it's lce Dancing to the Hits of Motown.|
|01:44:22||Wait a minute, there's something
going on on the track down there.|
|01:44:25||Oh, my God,
they're racing each other on foot.|
|01:44:27||These men will not quit.|
|01:44:34||Ricky, Ricky. He's going,
he's going, he's going. Look!|
|01:45:14||He did it!|
|01:45:22||Well, I'll be damned.|
|01:45:26||Good for you, Ricky Bobby.|
|01:45:36||Ricky Bobby wins!|
|01:45:38||You'll never see anything like that
in a hundred lifetimes.|
|01:45:40||lt was completely illegaI and in no way
will count, but that was something.|
|01:45:44||lt was. That was really good.|
by defeating me today...|
|01:45:53||...you have set me free.|
|01:45:56||And for that, I thank you.|
|01:46:00||I will never shake your hand, ever.|
|01:46:06||But I will give you this.|
|01:46:29||Sir, you taste of America.|
|01:46:42||No, once was good. Once was good.|
|01:46:50||Boy, that Halliburton.
Halliburton's taken off, haven't they?|
|01:46:53||Yeah, yeah, we're doing well.|
|01:46:54||Now there's some stock
I'd like to get my hands on.|
|01:46:57||Ladies and gentlemen,
|01:46:59||...your eyes on Talladega's
famed Victory Lane...|
|01:47:02||...as we get ready
for trophy time here...|
|01:47:04||...following an exciting running
of the Talladega 500.|
|01:47:08||First, a very brief explanation.|
|01:47:10||Because the drivers that finished
first and second got out of their cars...|
|01:47:15||...they have officially
|01:47:17||So now the winner, he was third,
he's now number one:|
|01:47:22||CaI Naughton Jr.!|
|01:47:26||Yeah, come on, guys!|
|01:47:31||-Give me that thing.
-Cal, you're number one!|
|01:47:34||I've been waiting a long time for you
to say my name, man.|
|01:47:37||I know it's a technicality,
but I tell you what...|
|01:47:40||...you try to take this away from me,
I'll sock you in the face.|
|01:47:45||Give me that thing.|
|01:47:50||I can't believe it. I can't believe it!|
-Put me down.|
|01:47:57||I'm proud of you!|
|01:47:59||Get up here, man.
No, you come up here.|
|01:48:02||You come up here.|
|01:48:07||-CaI Naughton! CaI Naughton.
-Oh, my God.|
|01:48:10||For this to happen....
Am I dead, man?|
|01:48:13||You won the Talladega 500,
|01:48:16||I owe you an apology.|
-Man, I'm sorry about Carley.|
|01:48:21||She walked straight up to me
and grabbed me in the crotch.|
|01:48:24||-It's like a tractor beam of hotness.
|01:48:29||Shake and Bake?|
|01:48:32||No. Never again.|
I was a totaI dick, man.|
|01:48:42||From now on...|
|01:48:45||...it's Magic Man...|
|01:48:48||...and EI Diablo.|
|01:48:50||What's ''Diablo'' mean?|
|01:48:52||It's like, you know....|
|01:48:53||It's like Spanish for,
like, a fighting chicken.|
|01:48:57||-With the claws.
-With the claws and the beak.|
|01:49:01||Where did you think of that?|
|01:49:02||You just-- Sometimes things click.|
|01:49:05||-I love you, bro.
-I love you too.|
|01:49:09||Oh, my God!
Oh, my God, I can't believe it!|
|01:49:13||Excuse me, guys. Nice job.|
|01:49:20||I've decided I can love you again.
You're a winner.|
|01:49:24||-Yeah, I don't think so.
|01:49:27||Are you prepared to walk away
from these pearls...|
|01:49:39||Well.... Yeah, this is tough.
How would it work?|
|01:49:43||-Would CaI move out?
|01:49:45||Kids move back in?|
|01:49:47||-Can I just have a little refresher?
-Of course, baby.|
|01:49:52||This is why you fell in love,
|01:49:54||Yeah, I'm in.
I'm moving in right now.|
|01:49:56||I'll drive 1 00 miles an hour
to your house.|
|01:49:58||-Our house. Our house.
-Our house, yeah.|
|01:50:00||No, I'm not. Come on.
It's gonna be awkward.|
|01:50:07||Wait a minute.|
|01:50:09||You are ready to walk away...|
|01:50:12||...from FHM magazine's
number seven hottest ass...|
|01:50:16||...for the girI who forgets
to get your dry cleaning?|
-Good luck, weirdoes.|
|01:50:24||-Carley, come back here.
-Yes, Susie Q?|
|01:50:26||There's something I've wanted
to tell you for a really long time.|
|01:50:31||Thank you. Maybe one together?|
|01:50:35||-Susie Q, are those real?
|01:50:38||Well, girl, you got some game.|
|01:50:43||-We'll see you on down the road.
|01:50:45||-You seen Cal?
-He's somewhere around here.|
|01:50:47||Hey, Cal! Baby, I'm coming.
|01:50:51||-Maybe one more?
-Oh, thank you.|
|01:50:55||-You did good.
|01:50:59||That was one heck of a day,
I gotta say.|
|01:51:01||That's some nice driving there,
-Well, hello, Reese.|
|01:51:07||Well, if it isn't our old
mangy, transient grandfather.|
|01:51:12||Well said, grandson.
Take that as a compliment.|
let me ask you a question.|
|01:51:21||Who did you win that race for?|
|01:51:23||Well, I sure as hell didn't
win it for you.|
|01:51:26||I like hearing that.|
|01:51:28||I guess if I really gotta think about it...|
|01:51:31||...I just went out there and drove.|
|01:51:34||And knew that no matter
|01:51:37||...my boys, my mama,
and my lady would love me.|
|01:51:44||Hi, I'm his lady, I'm Susan.|
|01:51:47||I painted the car, l....
We had sex.|
|01:51:50||-ls that right?
|01:51:52||Well, I wish I could've
been there for that.|
|01:51:54||Son, I'm proud of you.|
|01:51:58||Yep. Yeah, I think....
I guess things are...|
|01:52:04||...just pretty much perfect right now.|
|01:52:08||It's making me a little itchy.|
|01:52:12||Well, what do you say
we get thrown out of an Applebee's?|
|01:52:15||-That sound like a good idea?
-You read my mind, son.|
|01:52:18||-You can cuss at Applebee's.
-Everybody pile in.|
|01:52:20||How does one get thrown out
|01:52:22||-You're about to find out.
|01:52:25||Watch, the doors actually open.|
|01:52:58||-Hey, I'm Ricky Bobby.
-And I'm CaI Naughton Jr.|
|01:53:01||We just want to take a moment to talk
to you about snow blindness in cats.|
|01:53:05||It's affecting more and more cats
|01:53:07||And it scares the living shit out of us.|
|01:53:11||Ninety-eight percent of us will die
at some point in our lives.|
|01:53:14||The darkness is creeping towards you,
whether you know it or not.|
|01:53:17||A little planning can go a long way.|
your big old corpse behind...|
|01:53:21||...for your loved ones to deaI with
|01:53:23||That's why you should call
McCreedy FuneraI Service.|
They'll find the hole and build the box.|
|01:53:30||Bodies that look so good,
you're gonna wanna talk to it.|
|01:53:37||We like to have a lot of laughs
on the racetrack...|
|01:53:39||...but today we wanna talk
about something serious:|
|01:53:42||Packs of stray dogs that control
most of the major cities.|
|01:53:48||That's packs of wild, vicious dogs
that are controlling most of....|
|01:53:53||I like to picture Jesus
like a mischievous badger.|
|01:53:57||Like a muscular trapeze artist.|
|01:53:59||Like a shapeshifter or a changeling,
like that guy.|
|01:54:03||You ever hear of
that TV show Manimal?|
|01:54:04||I like to think of Jesus
as a figure skater...|
|01:54:08||...who wears, like, a white outfit...|
|01:54:10||...and he does interpretive ice dances
of my life's journey.|
|01:54:13||Like a dirty old bum.|
|01:54:15||He comes up to me, I'm about to sock
him one because he's a dirty old bum.|
|01:54:19||Then I said, ''Wait a minute,
I better not sock this guy.|
|01:54:21||Something speciaI about him.''|
|01:54:23||-Yeah, and it turns out it's Jesus.
|01:54:26||One, two.... Oh, God.|
|01:54:28||-Not again! No go. No go!
-It's stuck. It's stuck.|
|01:54:32||We got two knives in my leg.|
|01:54:34||I know, but one is a safety knife.
One is a safety.|
|01:54:39||It's coming out.
It's coming out.|
|01:54:41||I'm choking on my own spit.|
|01:54:43||lt hurts so bad
I'm choking on my own spit.|
|01:54:45||Good night, guys.
I'm losing a lot of blood.|
|01:54:48||-Just relax, man.
|01:54:54||Sometimes, when it's late at night,
I dress up like Donna Summers.|
|01:54:59||You know, I put on the skirt
and the four-inch heels, man.|
|01:55:04||I love it.|
|01:55:19||I would be honored if you would
let me sign your cast.|
|01:55:22||And I would be honored
if you'd sign my balls.|
|01:55:25||-Oh, baby, that is a good one.
-Hey, what are you doing?|
|02:00:45||''Don't touch a one of them.
|02:00:51||So, what do you think
that story was about?|
|02:00:54||Doesn't the bear symbolize
the old South...|
|02:00:57||...and the new dog, the encroaching
industrialization of the North?|
|02:01:01||Duh. But the question is, should
the reader feel relief or sadness...|
|02:01:06||...at the passing of the old South?|
|02:01:08||Well, how about both?|
|02:01:10||Oh, I get it. Moral ambiguity.|
|02:01:13||The hallmark of all early
20th-century American fiction.|
|02:01:18||-Great analysis, Walker.