|00:00:31||˘Ü Turn it up! ˘Ü|
|00:00:54||˘Ü Turn up the radio ˘Ü|
|00:00:58||˘Ü I need the music
Give me some more ˘Ü|
|00:01:03||Come on, Boots,
you have three minutes left.|
|00:01:05||You can do this.
You came to me, remember?|
|00:01:08||It's not about losing weight.
It's about a lifestyle change.|
|00:01:18||Nick, you have a customer.|
|00:01:21||Like we practiced.|
|00:01:22||Right away, Terry.|
|00:01:30||Oh. Ha! Funny.|
|00:01:32||It's the name of the store.|
|00:01:34||What can I do for you, man?|
|00:01:35||Bono has been doing
this for three days.|
|00:01:40||Bring him up here.|
|00:01:41||Bono, Bono, come.|
|00:01:44||Don't yell at him like that.|
|00:01:46||Okay. Okay. Cool.
|00:01:48||I might just look...|
|00:01:56||Do I know you?|
|00:01:58||I know you.|
|00:01:59||You're the singer
from Chocolate Lipstick.|
|00:02:01||You guys used to play
at the Jam Shack on Friday nights.|
You remember that?|
|00:02:05||You were so good.
|00:02:06||Oh, my God,
you still singing?|
|00:02:07||Nah. That was
a long time ago.|
|00:02:10||Wow! What are you
|00:02:13||You get shit
out of dogs' asses.|
|00:02:18||You own a BMW?|
|00:02:20||Yeah, can you tell?|
|00:02:28||Adam, it's Lou.
Don't hang up, okay?|
|00:02:30||It's not about money.
It's about making money.|
|00:02:32||You and me, buddy.|
|00:02:34||Hi, it's me.|
|00:02:35||So, I did everything according
to your stupid fucking plan.|
|00:02:38||I took everything
with the yellow stickers|
|00:02:40||and I left you everything with
the red stickers.|
|00:02:45||There was some stuff in your closet
with no stickers,|
|00:02:47||so I threw that in a pile and burned it
in the backyard.|
|00:02:50||Seemed like the right thing to do.|
|00:02:52||And thank you for claiming
that empty plastic bottle.|
|00:02:55||I was prepared to
fight you on that one.|
|00:02:58||Anyway, I left you
something on the counter.|
|00:03:00||It's from the heart.|
|00:03:05||Oh, and one last thing.
|00:03:08||The TV had a red sticker on it,
but I took it anyway.|
my head down.|
|00:03:21||Not getting shivved today.
Let's knock these reps out.
|00:03:30||Turn on a light, Jake.
Open a window.|
|00:03:35||Why don't you get out of the
house this weekend, huh?|
|00:03:37||What should I do out of the house,
|00:03:40||I don't know. Anything
that corresponds with reality.|
|00:03:43||Apply for a job.
Maybe try to go
|00:03:45||I don't know.
That all sounds kind of overrated.|
|00:03:47||You don't like it,
you can move back in with your mom.|
|00:03:48||No, I can't actually.
She moved in with her new boyfriend.|
|00:03:51||I will not be
anywhere near that.|
|00:03:52||She moved in with him?|
|00:03:54||Yeah, the taxidermist.|
|00:03:56||The taxidermist is
stuffing my mother.|
|00:04:00||She's your sister. You should call her
once in a while. Check in.|
|00:04:02||Well, maybe she should check in with me.
Ever think of that?|
|00:04:05||Listen, I've got a big court date
in a few minutes.|
|00:04:07||- If I miss it, I'm kind of screwed.
- Why do you waste your time|
|00:04:09||with that Second Life bullshit?|
|00:04:11||Look at you, you're still in jail.
You were in jail last week.|
|00:04:13||Yeah. I'm a prisoner.
It's called "doing hard time."|
|00:04:15||Can't you be like
a warrior or a shaman|
|00:04:17||or an Orc or some shit
|00:04:18||No, no. In life,
you make choices,|
|00:04:20||and if you screw up
you have to pay
for those choices.|
|00:04:22||You're 20 years old,
you haven't made an important
choice in your life.|
|00:04:24||What are you mad about?
What is this?|
|00:04:28||I don't know if you noticed,
but Lily moved out.|
|00:04:31||Is that what all
the shuffling was?|
|00:04:34||What did you do?|
|00:04:37||I didn't do anything.|
|00:04:57||No fucking way!|
|00:05:05||˘Ü You know I'm a dreamer ˘Ü|
|00:05:08||˘Ü But my heart's of gold ˘Ü|
|00:05:12||˘Ü I had to run away high ˘Ü|
|00:05:15||˘Ü So I wouldn't come home low
Just when things went... ˘Ü|
|00:05:25||˘Ü ...song And you'll never
be left all alone ˘Ü|
|00:05:30||˘Ü I'm on my way ˘Ü|
|00:05:36||˘Ü Home sweet home ˘Ü|
|00:05:41||˘Ü Tonight, tonight
I'm on my way ˘Ü|
|00:05:46||˘Ü Home sweet home ˘Ü|
|00:05:50||Even among the gentle
|00:05:52||The mate-less male
is subjected to a humiliating ritual.|
|00:06:13||- What's happening, man?
|00:06:15||You all right?|
|00:06:18||- Hi, Courtney.
- Hey, how you doing?|
|00:06:20||- Nice to see you.
- You, too.|
- Not here.|
|00:06:25||Yeah. You know...|
|00:06:27||Work's been crazy and...|
|00:06:29||- I know.
- I called a couple of times.|
|00:06:33||Very, very busy.|
|00:06:35||You think this is
a real situation|
|00:06:38||or just one of his
|00:06:40||I don't know.|
|00:06:42||You never know with Lou.|
|00:06:43||Well, hey, Adam,
how's your girlfriend?|
|00:06:45||Oh, really bad.|
I'm Dr. Jeff.
|00:06:55||He's denying that it was a suicide
attempt and medically he's stable,|
|00:06:59||so legally we can't
keep him here.|
|00:07:00||But we do think that he should
be monitored for a few days.|
|00:07:03||Does he have any family?|
|00:07:04||Lou's family all
kind of hate him.|
|00:07:06||Okay. Well, then I guess it's up
to you guys, his friends.|
|00:07:09||You are his friends, right?|
|00:07:13||It's like that friend
who's the asshole.|
|00:07:15||But he's our asshole,
|00:07:23||Dr. Jefferies to radiology.|
Why would he do this?|
|00:07:29||Why? I mean,
make a list.|
|00:07:31||He's an alcoholic,
|00:07:33||Wife ran off with
that Jamaican guy.|
|00:07:35||He's failed at every jive-ass
money hustle he's ever tried.|
a mountain of debt.|
|00:07:40||He hates his mother.|
|00:07:41||He hates himself.
He hates everybody.|
|00:07:42||He has erectile dysfunction.|
|00:07:44||He's got halitosis.|
that runt ball.|
|00:07:48||He said one of his balls
was shriveled up...|
|00:07:51||...like a spoiled grape.|
|00:07:53||Wasn't it that
quarterback on the Bears|
|00:07:55||who had his ball crushed
on the field. Right?|
|00:07:59||- Right, right.
- '82? Yeah, yeah.|
|00:08:02||He came back
from that, though.|
|00:08:03||Strong as ever.|
|00:08:06||But I don't know about Lou.|
|00:08:07||- It's just like...
|00:08:08||It's just like
an accumulation of punishment.|
|00:08:11||Fuck you guys.|
|00:08:14||There he is. Hey.|
|00:08:16||I can fucking hear everything
you're saying, all right?|
|00:08:18||Look who's awake.
What's up, man?|
- Hey, man.|
|00:08:25||You look just
like my friend Nick.|
|00:08:28||And you look
like my friend Adam.|
|00:08:30||But you wouldn't be
those guys because|
|00:08:31||I've been calling
and calling them,|
|00:08:32||and they haven't
returned my calls.|
|00:08:33||So, listen, Violator.|
|00:08:36||Me and Nick
got a little surprise
that the three of us can do.|
|00:08:41||Come on. You guys.|
|00:08:43||- Are you curious?
|00:08:44||I didn't fucking try
and kill myself.|
|00:08:46||If I wanted to kill myself,
I'd fucking kill myself.|
|00:08:49||I'd be awesome at it.|
|00:08:50||A shotgun to the dick.|
|00:08:53||I'm glad you didn't do it.|
|00:08:54||It's good to see
you guys, anyway.|
|00:08:58||So, just out of curiosity,
what's the surprise?|
|00:09:08||No fucking way!|
|00:09:09||- Yes, sir.
|00:09:12||Yes, sir. Bang!|
|00:09:14||We fucking ski, right?
We fucking rage.|
at the end of the night|
|00:09:18||with a bottle of scotch
to wash it all down. Oh!|
|00:09:22||And you guys are paying
for the whole thing?|
|00:09:26||Let's go tonight.|
|00:09:27||We go tomorrow.|
|00:09:28||Let's go now.
Let's go now.|
|00:09:29||I just got to get rid of this thing.
It's really uncomfortable.|
|00:09:32||You should wait
for the nurse or something.|
|00:09:33||I got it. I got it.|
|00:09:34||- Hold on, Lou.
- No, no, no, no.|
do that for you.|
|00:09:46||- Oh, shit.
|00:09:48||Did I get that on you?|
|00:09:49||- Yes, you did.
- Damn it!|
|00:09:50||It's only pee.
Relax, it's only pee.|
he's drinking already.|
|00:10:00||Look at this shit.|
|00:10:02||Do you remember when I was 12
and he tried to bite me?|
|00:10:04||Yeah, but he...
You had that coming.|
|00:10:08||- Hey, Violator.
|00:10:10||What the fuck
is he doing here?|
|00:10:12||It's nice to
see you, too, Lou.|
|00:10:13||"Nice to see you, too, Lou."
Fuck you, Jacob.|
|00:10:16||You suck and you know it.|
|00:10:18||You just ruined
my fucking weekend.|
|00:10:30||Hey, Lily will come back.
|00:10:33||- No, she won't.
- No, she won't.|
|00:10:35||- No, she won't.
- No, she won't.|
|00:10:36||She basically thinks
I'm an asshole, you know?|
|00:10:38||Like a completely self-absorbed,
|00:10:40||- She's got a point.
|00:10:42||- Fuck you.
- You're better off.|
|00:10:44||Take my word for it.
Look at me.|
|00:10:46||Fuck wives, man.
|00:10:48||Lock it down or they will take
everything from you.|
|00:10:52||God damn it!
Who the fuck are you texting with?|
|00:10:55||Just a friend of mine.|
|00:10:56||Male or fucking female?|
|00:10:58||For your information,
I've had a lot of girlfriends.|
|00:11:02||You have had lots
of boyfriends. Gay ones.|
|00:11:09||Hey, hey, hey,
check this out.|
|00:11:11||I brought a regulation bar
for tubbing tonight.|
|00:11:15||I've got vodka,
fucking Tequilles O'Neals.|
|00:11:18||You guys are gonna love this.
Check this out.|
the Russian Red Bull.|
|00:11:24||It's got shit in it
that's not even legal here.|
|00:11:25||Like what shit?|
|00:11:27||How the fuck am I
supposed to know, dude?|
|00:11:28||But it's illegal.|
|00:11:30||Hey, why didn't we
just go to Pinnacle?|
|00:11:32||It would have taken,
like, half the time.|
|00:11:33||You wanna go
to Kodiak Valley,
the right age for it.|
|00:11:38||Yeah. Nobody gets carded
and everybody gets laid.|
|00:11:41||- K-Val! K-Val! K-Val!
- K-Val! K-Val! K-Val!|
|00:11:45||Oh, shit! K-Val!|
|00:11:53||This? This is
the coolest town ever?|
That used to be Papa Enzo's.|
|00:11:59||I broke up with
Jenny Stedmeyer there.|
|00:12:02||What made you break
up with her, again?|
|00:12:03||I don't know.
We swapped virginities junior year.|
|00:12:06||All we did was
listen to records and have sex.|
|00:12:07||And she was epic, I mean she was...
She was epic.|
She was hot.|
|00:12:11||And then when I broke up
with her, she was so mad,|
|00:12:13||she practically stabbed me
in the eye with a fork.|
|00:12:15||Actually, she did stab me
in the eye with a fork.|
|00:12:18||She was a one-percenter, man.|
|00:12:20||All downhill from there.|
|00:12:22||That was a big one.
|00:12:25||The one that got away.|
|00:12:26||The great white buffalo.|
|00:12:29||The great what?|
|00:12:31||Great white buffalo.|
|00:12:33||Why are you guys
|00:12:35||Great white buffalo.|
|00:12:37||That was really helpful,
you guys. Thank you.|
|00:12:46||Look at this place.|
|00:12:48||I'm gonna make
a prediction right now.|
|00:12:50||One of us is gonna
start writing a novel,|
|00:12:52||and then we all
get snowed in,|
|00:12:53||and then Lou's gonna
ax murder all of us.|
|00:13:02||What's that smell?|
|00:13:06||Kind of a lot of cats.
|00:13:11||You got a reservation|
|00:13:14||Sorry. What was that
Webber and Agnew.|
|00:13:19||I got a "Nick Webber-Agnew."|
|00:13:20||I'm sorry, excuse me. What?
What did you just say?|
|00:13:27||You took your wife's last name?
You're a fucking hyphenate?|
|00:13:30||A lot of dudes are doing it.
|00:13:32||No. No dudes
are doing it.|
|00:13:34||You look like a progressive guy.
Is that progressive?|
|00:13:35||- Would you do that? No.
|00:13:37||And he has a goatee.|
|00:13:42||Does this guy seem a little
imbalanced to you?|
|00:13:44||No. Come on.|
|00:13:45||He's right there.
|00:13:48||Let me give you
a hand with that.|
|00:13:51||I am not going
to tell you again!|
|00:13:57||I can handle it.|
a fucking dick.|
|00:14:01||- Shh. He's disabled.
- He can hear you.|
|00:14:03||So what? He's exempt from
common fucking courtesy|
|00:14:05||'cause he can't start
a round of applause?|
|00:14:08||He's gotta jerk
|00:14:10||I mean, I certainly
don't take my hands|
|00:14:12||and I put them together
and oil them up...|
|00:14:14||Hey, 420. Our old room.
Check it out.|
|00:14:18||- That's okay man.
- Oh! Those are mine.|
|00:14:20||I'll just get those.|
|00:14:28||This is the part where you tip
the guy that helped you out.|
|00:14:32||I'm not the guy that...|
|00:14:35||Nick, pay the man
|00:14:36||I got it.
looks like shit!|
to that guy?|
|00:14:41||Check this shit out.
It's still there.|
|00:14:44||Adam sucks cocks 'n' dicks.|
|00:14:47||It's your best work.|
|00:14:49||Fucking burned you.|
come take a look at this.|
|00:14:53||We got a hot tub.|
|00:14:57||- Sweet Jesus!
- Poor little fella.|
|00:14:59||This is obviously
|00:15:02||We call downstairs,
get somebody to fix this?|
|00:15:04||Is anybody else hungry?|
|00:15:08||A little school spirit
this time, huh?|
|00:15:10||- We're in, man.
- Just play it like you fucking mean it.|
|00:15:12||- Like that.
|00:15:15||Yes, I would like to get a hooker
to fuck me and my friends.|
I'm not doing that.|
|00:15:23||I want an escort to escort
our penises into her vagina.|
|00:15:28||I want the girl
in the picture, too.|
|00:15:30||- No tomfoolery.
- Wake her up, I don't care.|
|00:15:33||Will you listen to him?|
|00:15:34||Does she do four?|
|00:15:35||What about three?|
|00:15:37||- Okay. Jacob, you're out.
- Okay. Good.|
|00:15:39||I need $3,000.|
|00:15:41||I'm not in.
|00:15:42||- Adam, I need $2,000. Me and you, buddy.
- Come on.|
|00:15:45||I'm out there, Violator.|
|00:15:46||Can I call you back, sir?|
|00:15:48||- Okay. Thank you. Bye.
|00:15:50||Let's do something fun.
Let's create a memory, huh?|
|00:15:52||Let's get some cocaine
and break into a school.|
|00:15:55||Or steal a cop car
or some shit, huh?|
|00:15:58||- Do you have Ritalin?
|00:15:59||Don't fucking lie to me.
Every one of you people have Ritalin.|
|00:16:03||No, I don't.|
You probably do have Ritalin.|
|00:16:06||I have some Ativan,
but it's different.|
|00:16:08||- Let's stick it up our asses.
- Just give it to him.|
|00:16:09||No. It's not
|00:16:11||It doesn't matter.
You crush it, you put it
in a warm paper towel,|
|00:16:13||run it under warm some water and you
stick it right up your ass. That works.|
|00:16:16||You put the paper towel
up your ass, too?|
|00:16:18||- You crush up the...
- Hey, I got an idea,|
|00:16:19||- why don't we just play quarters?
|00:16:20||I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do.
I'm getting really sad.|
|00:16:23||You know what
I'm talking about?|
|00:16:25||I'm gonna go to the bathroom and
be alone with my own thoughts.|
|00:16:27||Who knows what's
gonna happen up there.|
what's gonna happen.|
|00:16:30||You better plan
I'm going dancing.|
|00:16:37||I don't know, man.
Maybe coming here was a bad idea.|
If he kills himself,
can we go home?|
|00:16:43||Hard to believe
this is the very room|
|00:16:45||we had some of
the best weekends of our lives.|
In this room right here?|
|00:16:52||We were young. We had momentum.
We were winning.|
|00:16:57||We were best friends.|
|00:16:59||What do you mean,
"were" best friends?|
|00:17:00||You know what I mean, man.
Everybody seemed to care more.|
to matter more back then.|
|00:17:18||Check it out.
They must have fixed it.|
|00:17:23||- How's the water, Violator?
- Oh, man.|
|00:17:25||You guys gotta get in here.
It's gonna fucking change you.|
|00:17:28||Wait, why are you naked?|
|00:17:30||You're all getting naked?|
|00:17:32||You don't think
it's a little weird,|
|00:17:33||a bunch of guys
just piling up|
|00:17:35||in a big bathtub
|00:17:36||Are you afraid
that some of these
people might see you?|
If I'm being honest,|
|00:17:40||I'm not totally comfortable being around
a bunch of other naked dudes.|
male bonding, okay?|
|00:17:45||Haven't you even
seen Wild Hogs?|
|00:17:47||Fine, get us some snacks.|
|00:17:49||You know what? Fuck it.|
my underwear on.|
|00:17:53||Yeah. Yeah. Very nice.
|00:17:57||Damn, it's good to be here
with you all again, man.|
|00:18:00||- It's good to be back here with you guys.
|00:18:02||I want to toast
to the good times.|
|00:18:04||And you, too, young blood.
Come on in, here.|
|00:18:11||˘Ü This style seems wild ˘Ü|
|00:18:13||˘Ü Wait before you treat me
like a stepchild ˘Ü|
|00:18:15||˘Ü Let me tell you why
they got me on file ˘Ü|
|00:18:17||˘Ü 'Cause I give you
what you lack ˘Ü|
|00:18:18||˘Ü Come right and exact
I stand accused of doing harm ˘Ü|
|00:18:21||˘Ü 'Cause I'm louder than a bomb ˘Ü|
|00:18:23||˘Ü Come on
Come on, louder ˘Ü|
|00:18:25||˘Ü Come on
Come on ˘Ü|
|00:18:27||- Go, Violator!
- I'm gonna throw up.|
|00:18:28||Snap out of it!
Out the tub! Out the tub!|
|00:18:31||I'm good. I'm good.
|00:18:33||˘Ü I am a rock hard trooper
To the bone, the bone, the bone ˘Ü|
|00:18:37||˘Ü Full grown
Consider me stone ˘Ü|
|00:18:39||˘Ü Once again and
I say it for you to know ˘Ü|
|00:18:42||˘Ü The troop is always ready
I yell "Geronimo" ˘Ü|
|00:18:44||˘Ü Your CIA,
you see I ain't kiddin' ˘Ü|
|00:18:46||˘Ü Both King and X They got rid of both ˘Ü|
|00:18:51||˘Ü And not the braggin'
or boastin' and plus ˘Ü|
|00:18:53||˘Ü It ain't no secret why
they're tappin' my phone ˘Ü|
|00:18:55||˘Ü Although I can't keep it a secret ˘Ü|
|00:18:57||˘Ü So I decided to kick it, yo ˘Ü|
|00:18:58||˘Ü And yes it weighs a ton ˘Ü|
|00:19:00||˘Ü I say it once again ˘Ü|
|00:19:01||˘Ü Tappin' my phone
They never leave me alone ˘Ü|
|00:19:04||˘Ü 'Cause I'm louder than a bomb ˘Ü|
|00:19:23||Hey, little buddy.|
|00:19:38||Where did the squirrel go?|
|00:19:44||- This is the black diamond?
- That's all you got?|
|00:19:47||- I don't remember this.
- What do you think, boys?|
|00:19:50||Tips fucking down,
|00:20:06||I feel 19 again!|
|00:20:11||What is that?|
|00:20:14||Stop it, Lou.|
|00:20:15||Stop it, Lou!|
|00:20:23||You goddamn kids!|
|00:20:29||- Slow down!
|00:20:31||Yard sale, bitches!|
|00:21:01||Are you guys alive?
|00:21:05||By all counts we should be
pretty fucked up right now, but I...|
|00:21:09||I kind of feel great.|
|00:21:10||I feel crazy right now.|
|00:21:11||I feel fantastic!|
|00:21:13||I wanna fuck something!|
|00:21:20||There they are.|
|00:21:21||I see it, Chaz. Thanks.|
|00:21:24||What is that
one plank thing
that guy's got?|
|00:21:26||I don't care.
It's going up his ass.|
|00:21:31||Way to go, rookie!|
|00:21:36||Whoa! Whoa! Whoa...|
|00:21:39||Those are the kind of ski shenanigans
I don't allow on my mountain.|
|00:21:42||Yeah. Come on, guys.|
|00:21:45||What are you
looking at, Nancy?|
|00:21:47||No. I mean...|
|00:21:49||Hey, look, it's the douche bag
from Karate Kid III.|
|00:21:57||I know that guy.|
|00:22:22||Is there some kind of weird retro
thing going on this weekend?|
|00:22:24||Can't get any bars.|
Yeah, it's Chuck.|
|00:22:28||You're never gonna
believe where I'm calling you from, man.|
|00:22:31||I'm on a mountain
on my phone! Yeah.|
|00:22:35||Yeah, well, a bet's a bet.
I want my $2.|
|00:22:43||I'm telling you,
something weird is going on.|
|00:22:45||Demand your MTV.|
|00:22:48||I want my MTV.|
|00:22:52||˘Ü S-A-F-E-T-Y ˘Ü|
|00:22:58||˘Ü Safe, dance! ˘Ü|
|00:23:06||I love your hair.|
|00:23:10||I have a question.|
tell me that's true.|
|00:23:14||But the facts and the evidence
tell me it is...|
|00:23:27||Dude is rocking
a cassette player.|
I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation|
|00:23:30||- for all this shit.
- Don't fucking tell me to relax.|
|00:23:32||I said relax
for a minute.|
|00:23:36||"Where's the beef?"|
|00:23:38||Excuse me, miss,
what color is Michael Jackson?|
|00:23:48||Hold on! Sorry.
Excuse me. Sorry.|
|00:23:52||Nick, come on, man!
|00:23:54||Who the fuck is that?|
Ashton Kolchak right now|
|00:23:57||telling us we've been
punked or whatever.|
- Come on. Come on.|
|00:24:05||Hey. Hey, guys.
I've got your luggage.|
|00:24:08||He's got both arms.
- Check his arm.|
|00:24:16||- Are you raping?
- Wait! Hold on! Are we raping him?|
|00:24:18||Nobody's raping anybody!|
|00:24:19||Where's your missing arm,
That's my arm!|
|00:24:24||- It's fake!
- It's real!|
|00:24:25||It's got freckles on it
|00:24:36||Do I really got to be
the asshole that says|
|00:24:38||we got in this thing
and went back in time?|
|00:24:41||It must be some kind of
hot tub time machine.|
|00:24:47||Wow, my old stuff.|
|00:24:49||Look at this shit, man.|
|00:24:50||You have a bong?|
This shirt got me so much fucking pussy.|
|00:24:55||You wanna see
what got a lot of pussy?|
|00:24:56||What's the tape recorder for?|
|00:24:57||- Recording tape.
- I gotta take a piss.|
|00:24:59||- This jacket right here, baby.
- Holy fuck!|
|00:25:00||What are you,
Hunter S. Thompson?|
|00:25:01||- I thought I was.
- Is that coke?|
|00:25:04||What the fuck you think it is?
|00:25:06||Wait. How is this happening?|
|00:25:07||Can we talk about this
for a minute?|
|00:25:14||Holy fuck! Winterfest '86.
We were here, man.|
- We are here.|
|00:25:19||What if we run into ourselves?|
|00:25:21||We see ourselves and we blow up
and explode or some shit.|
|00:25:24||Get in here!|
|00:25:25||Didn't you all fucking see Timecop?|
|00:25:27||God damn it!
Get the fuck in here right now!|
|00:25:29||Nobody wants to see
your giant shit, Lou.|
|00:25:43||Yeah, we're not gonna
run into ourselves.|
|00:25:46||We are ourselves.|
|00:25:47||Why are we in our young bodies
and you in your regular body?|
|00:25:50||I don't know.|
|00:25:51||Shouldn't you be invisible?|
|00:25:52||Or swimming around
some guy's ball sack?|
Because you guys exist here and I don't.|
|00:25:58||Hey, why are you flickering?|
- What? What? Who flickered?|
|00:26:02||- He did.
- He's flickering.|
|00:26:04||I need you to touch
my arm or something|
|00:26:05||to see if I'm
still real, okay?|
|00:26:06||Just see if you can put
your hand through me.|
|00:26:15||I'm physically still here.
That's good, I think.|
|00:26:20||You look like Kid 'N Play.|
|00:26:22||That's actually two people.|
|00:26:27||I knew this trip
was a bad idea.|
|00:26:28||Every time I hang out with you,
man, it's some kind of shit storm.|
|00:26:31||I got guilted into
coming on this trip|
|00:26:33||and now I'm back
in the fucking '80s.|
|00:26:34||And I hate this decade!|
|00:26:35||Maybe it's your
|00:26:37||You're a fucking insurance salesman,
you're practically the devil.|
|00:26:40||Guys! This is
|00:26:42||Oh, my God. Okay, Professor Hawking,
tell me in your robot voice|
|00:26:45||how this is
I write Stargate fan fiction,|
|00:26:49||so I think I know
what I'm talking about right now.|
|00:26:51||I seriously almost passed out,
you're such a dork.|
|00:26:54||Okay. The tub is obviously
some kind of energy vortex, right?|
|00:26:56||Like a black hole.|
|00:26:57||But, instead of
being in space,|
|00:27:01||it's in a hot tub.|
|00:27:02||Time is not linear,
we just perceive it that way!|
- Like The Terminator!|
|00:27:07||It's cyclical, right?|
|00:27:09||The machines send Schwarzenegger
back to kill Sarah Connor|
|00:27:12||so that John Connor
could never be born.|
|00:27:14||But if John Connor don't send
Michael Biehn back to protect her,|
|00:27:17||then they never fuck, and John Connor
ain't born in the first place!|
|00:27:22||- It checks out.
- Yeah, that's pretty good.|
|00:27:23||Wait, wait, check the fucking drawer.
See if the carving's there.|
|00:27:26||Check the fucking drawer.|
|00:27:35||This shit is real.|
|00:27:36||The carving you
made 20 years ago,|
|00:27:38||about me sucking
cocks and dicks,|
|00:27:41||- it's not there.
|00:27:44||Is "cocks" still there?|
I mean, it's not there.|
|00:27:47||What about "dicks"?|
nor "dicks," nor "sucks."|
We stuck in the fucking '80s!|
|00:27:57||How am I supposed
to get a job?|
|00:28:00||I'm so scared.|
|00:28:03||Looks like you
burned out your...|
|00:28:05||Heck, you fried
your timing crossover.|
|00:28:09||Would you mind
putting that down, sir,|
|00:28:11||that coal shovel,
before somebody gets hurt?|
|00:28:15||Did somebody call you?|
|00:28:16||Excuse me one minute.|
|00:28:23||Who ever calls us?|
|00:28:26||And who answers when the call comes
from within? Huh?|
|00:28:31||I thought maybe I could pull the part
from one of the other tubs.|
|00:28:35||But it turns out this is
a very special model that you have here.|
|00:28:39||You've got to be
very careful, I tell you.|
|00:28:41||One little thing is changed,
the whole system can go haywire.|
|00:28:46||Do you understand
what I'm saying?|
|00:28:48||The whole system
can go haywire|
|00:28:50||if you change
one little thing.|
|00:28:53||Wait a minute.
We need that to get back in time?|
|00:28:56||Well, you're back here.|
|00:28:57||I mean, I can tell you've all been
to Kodiak Valley before.|
|00:29:01||- I haven't.
- Maybe not her,|
|00:29:02||but I know that
you were here.|
|00:29:05||You know what's
going on here, don't you, old man?|
|00:29:07||Yes, I do.|
|00:29:09||Your tub is on the fritz.
It'd behoove you to fix it.|
I think it's still broke.|
|00:29:24||Where'd he go?|
in on it, man.|
|00:29:27||What was all that
cryptic shit he was saying|
|00:29:28||about not changing
one little thing?|
|00:29:30||I know exactly what he meant.
He was talking about the butterfly effect.|
a great fucking movie.|
|00:29:34||One little change
has a ripple effect|
|00:29:36||and it affects
|00:29:38||Like, a butterfly
floats its wings|
|00:29:40||and Tokyo explodes, or there's
a tsunami in, like, somewhere.|
|00:29:43||Dude, yes, exactly.
Or you step on a bug|
|00:29:45||and the fucking
Internet's never invented.|
|00:29:47||Then you have to talk
to girls with your mouth.|
|00:29:50||Yeah. I was more concerned
about bigger consequences,|
|00:29:53||like me not being born.|
No, I don't care about that.|
|00:29:55||The point is,
what did we do 20 years ago?|
|00:29:58||Let's figure it
out right now.|
|00:29:59||We gotta do
the exact same thing.|
|00:30:02||- I had that gig.
- That's right.|
|00:30:04||You got up on stage
and you were wildly mediocre.|
|00:30:07||And that led to
nothing of a career.|
|00:30:09||Okay, first of all,
fuck you, motherfucker!|
|00:30:11||I could have had a career,
but I got married and I went a different way.|
|00:30:14||Which way is that?
The way that sucked?|
|00:30:16||Didn't you also
bang that groupie?|
|00:30:17||- What was her name?
|00:30:19||You banged her.
You got to go do that again.|
|00:30:22||I did do that.
But, fuck, no, I'm married!|
|00:30:26||I can't go around
banging girls in hot tubs.|
|00:30:27||Nick, it's 1986. You can't cheat
on someone you don't know yet.|
even met Courtney.|
|00:30:36||I actually fucked a chick, too.
So I'll just do that.|
|00:30:38||I seem to remember
you getting your ass whooped.|
|00:30:42||- Oh, yeah.
- That's right.|
|00:30:43||That ski patrol dude
pummeled you like it was his job.|
I don't remember it that way.|
|00:30:48||Yeah. He fucked you up.
You cried and peed.|
|00:30:51||Fuck this, man!
This is fucking bullshit!|
|00:30:54||Would you just think of somebody
other than yourself, man?|
|00:30:56||There's four of us.|
|00:30:57||It's the fucking '80s, guys!|
|00:30:59||Let's do what we wanna do.
the '60s, dipshit.|
|00:31:04||No, we had, like,
Reagan and AIDS.|
|00:31:06||Let's get the fuck
out of here, okay?|
|00:31:08||Do the right thing, Violator.|
|00:31:09||God damn it!
This is fucking bullshit!|
|00:31:12||Tonight's the night
you broke up with Jenny Stedmeyer.|
- Yeah, you got stabbed|
|00:31:16||in the fucking
do you want backup?|
|00:31:20||I can't, the butterflies
won't let me.|
You guys in there?|
|00:31:28||There you are. Hey!|
|00:31:30||How come you guys didn't meet us at
the chair lift this morning?|
|00:31:32||You were going to
show me some moves.|
I missed you.|
|00:31:38||I must have forgot.|
|00:31:40||Perv. That's from Mandy.|
|00:31:43||- Hey, new guy. What's up?
|00:31:44||So we're in 214.
I'm gonna go get ready.|
- Meet me in my room, okay?|
|00:31:50||Love the PJs, Nick.
You look hot.|
|00:31:57||I don't remember her
being that fucking beautiful.|
She's so tight.|
|00:32:04||She's the great
white buffalo, man.|
|00:32:05||- Great white buffalo.
- Great white buffalo.|
|00:32:06||Don't start that.|
|00:32:08||- Great white buffalo.
- Great white buffalo.|
|00:32:10||Why did I ever break up with her?|
|00:32:11||Why would I
break up with her?|
|00:32:13||'Cause you have to
do it again. Right?|
|00:32:15||Right, right, right.|
|00:32:16||All right. We're
all gonna meet back here.|
|00:32:18||Hopefully that hot tub's fixed
and we can get the fuck out of here.|
|00:32:20||Okay, let's party
like it's 1986.|
|00:32:21||All right. On three?|
|00:32:23||- One, two, three...
- One, two, three...|
|00:32:24||- Hot tub time machine!
|00:32:25||What are we...
"Hot tub time machine?"|
|00:32:28||We didn't tell you
about the new thing, with our hands?|
- On three, we always...|
|00:32:30||From now on,
we're gonna say, "Hot tub time machine."|
|00:32:32||I told you, I think
that's fucking stupid.|
|00:32:33||You were in
|00:32:34||No, but this is a real
bonding event for us.|
|00:32:35||This doesn't happen
all the time.|
|00:32:36||- Come on.
- I'm telling you, it's stupid.|
|00:32:38||- Do it once.
- Do what you want to do.|
|00:32:39||It would have been
|00:32:41||One, two, three...|
|00:32:42||...hot tub time machine!|
|00:32:43||It felt good. Admit it.|
this party started!|
|00:33:01||Who is carrying
me home tonight?|
|00:33:04||Sweet fucking Lord.|
|00:33:07||Hey, bro, Nicholas.|
|00:33:10||Who's the geek?|
|00:33:11||He's your son.|
|00:33:13||That's not appropriate.|
|00:33:17||'Cause I'm here to
brighten your day.|
|00:33:21||He's totally cool.|
|00:33:22||He doesn't look cool.|
|00:33:23||He's not that cool.
|00:33:26||Lou Dorchen. Yeah...|
|00:33:28||You don't remember this?|
|00:33:30||I don't remember everything.|
|00:33:31||What the fuck, man?
This is freaking me the fuck out.|
|00:33:33||You freak out every time
you leave the basement.|
|00:33:34||All right, kiddies,
get your snow boots on|
there is gonna be a blizzard.|
|00:33:38||Really? It looked
pretty clear out.|
|00:33:40||Anybody wanna go
for a little sleigh ride?|
|00:33:42||You can't do cocaine!
It's so unhealthy for you.|
|00:33:45||Kelly, in public?|
|00:33:48||I'm gonna go to a party
at the ski patrol house,|
|00:33:50||I'm gonna find
a sexy instructor|
|00:33:51||and I'm gonna wax
his fucking pole.|
Don't drink my fucking drink.|
|00:34:00||What she means is that she works
at the ski rental place, right?|
|00:34:03||And that's her job,
is cleaning the poles.|
|00:34:05||I could be off, but I think
it's in reference to blowing a dude.|
|00:34:08||Thank you, Nick.
But that's... You don't need to...|
|00:34:11||Or fucking a dude.
Because the wax,|
|00:34:12||it can be interpreted
|00:34:15||She was a free spirit,
|00:34:17||Or maybe she's the pole and there's
two dudes that she's waxing.|
|00:34:21||Let's justget it done, man.
|00:34:24||- Hey, Lou.
|00:34:26||Did my mom, like,
sleep with a bunch of dudes?|
|00:34:29||I don't know.
|00:34:30||But she seems
kind of slutty, right?|
|00:34:31||Does she seem
that way to you?|
|00:34:34||It's just, she never
told me who my dad is.|
|00:34:35||It could be any
one of these guys.|
|00:34:37||'Cause I was born, like,
nine months from now.|
So what does
|00:34:41||It means do the math,
|00:34:42||I could have been
conceived this weekend.|
Check this out.|
|00:34:46||That's that fucking bellhop.
I hate that guy.|
|00:34:50||This must be where
he loses the arm!|
- Thank you!|
we should tell him.
This is gruesome.|
|00:35:00||Don't you dare
fucking tell him.|
the time thing up.|
|00:35:19||What the fuck?|
|00:35:24||Boo! We just got fucking robbed.|
|00:35:27||What are you talking about?|
|00:35:29||- He's great, man.
- Come on!|
|00:35:34||I'm in the bathroom.
|00:35:37||What do you think?|
|00:35:39||Oh, my God.|
|00:35:40||What? Do I look fat?|
|00:35:43||No. You look
|00:35:47||Aw! Thank you.|
|00:35:53||How about me,
do I look different?|
|00:35:54||Do I look kind of older?|
|00:35:59||You look cute, though.|
|00:36:01||God, I can't stop
thinking about last night.|
|00:36:03||It was like frigging hot.|
|00:36:05||It was? What did we do?
I don't remember.|
like, 10 minutes.|
|00:36:15||And I was good.|
|00:36:16||I think I came. I think.
I can't even tell you what it was like.|
|00:36:20||I got some vague
recollection of that.|
|00:36:23||Wanna maybe just sit
and talk for a minute?|
|00:36:26||Well, I mean, you know,
it's just so good to see you again.|
|00:36:34||It's not you. It's me.|
|00:36:43||You know what,
I think we should go to Poison now.|
|00:36:46||You're weird today.|
You are funny.|
|00:36:49||Let me just get dressed.|
|00:37:00||This is trippy.|
|00:37:03||Man, I can't even remember
the last time I saw you guys.|
|00:37:10||Oh, yeah. Yesterday.|
|00:37:21||It's not cheating.It's not cheating.
|00:37:25||You don't even
know Courtney yet.|
|00:37:28||You know, it's okay
if you're scared, Lou.|
|00:37:30||I'm not scared, idiot.
I'm fucking pissed.|
|00:37:33||I have a full head of hair
and a functioning penis,|
|00:37:35||and I'm looking for some guy
to drill me in the fucking jaw.|
|00:37:37||We're not gonna
find him here, anyway.|
|00:37:38||I don't even remember
what he looks like.|
|00:37:44||- Walk much, faggot?
|00:37:46||What? No, don't touch me.
The fuck, you're sorry.|
|00:37:48||You scuffed up my Jordans.|
|00:37:51||You wanna go for it?
Come on, take a shot, pussy. Wanna party?|
|00:37:54||Wanna be a hero?|
|00:37:56||And here it comes.|
|00:38:02||Yeah, you gonna cry?
You gonna cry, titty baby?|
|00:38:06||You gonna fucking cry?
Look at him he's crying.|
|00:38:09||Your fucking bag
is mine now.|
|00:38:12||Is that it?|
|00:38:15||No, I yell back at him|
|00:38:17||and I challenge him to
a rematch at midnight saying,|
|00:38:19||"You bring your friends
and I'll bring mine."|
|00:38:20||And my friends
don't fucking show up.|
|00:38:22||So I get pummeled
by six guys instead of one.|
|00:38:24||All right, fantastic.
Let's do this.|
|00:38:29||Lou, come on.
You have to.|
|00:38:35||Is that all you got?
|00:38:41||Oh, God. Yeah.|
|00:38:45||I'll never go back.
I'll never go back.|
|00:38:50||Are you crying?|
|00:38:53||It's the water splashing my face
from all the fucking.|
|00:38:58||Because I thought
you were crying, and I was like...|
|00:39:02||I'm sorry, Courtney.|
|00:39:04||- It's Tara.
my name is Tara.|
|00:39:11||No, my wife, my wife.|
|00:39:16||No, I'm not married.
Not now, anyway.|
|00:39:18||I will be.
She's nine right now.|
|00:39:27||Can I tell you something
that I haven't told anybody?|
|00:39:30||She cheated on me.|
|00:39:33||I found a e-mail.|
|00:39:36||And now every time
I look at her,|
|00:39:38||all I can see is
her getting rammed by|
|00:39:40||some faceless dude
with a better body and a bigger dick.|
|00:39:43||Truth of it is, I can't even
bring myself to say anything|
|00:39:46||because I just love
her so fucking much.|
|00:39:50||I don't even know if I can
live without her cheating ass.|
|00:39:53||Hey, what's an e-mail?|
|00:39:54||That's not the point!|
|00:39:57||Seems like you might've took one
defensive swing against him.|
|00:40:00||I mean, honestly, what the fuck, man?
|00:40:03||I don't know how you've
lived with yourself all these years.|
|00:40:07||It was pathetic.|
|00:40:08||It was pathetic.
You couldn't have kicked him from the ground?|
|00:40:17||This is a crazy story.
I got hit by a truck.|
|00:40:22||Trying to save a baby deer,
if you can believe that.|
|00:40:25||Oh, my God!|
|00:40:26||Is there anything
that I can do?
Are you okay?|
|00:40:30||Oh, my God.
No, I'm fine. This is nothing.|
|00:40:33||You know what? Come with me.
I'm gonna take care of you.|
|00:40:36||And bring your friend.|
|00:40:37||No, we can't.|
|00:40:38||- We'd love to, but we can't.
- We can, we can.|
|00:40:40||We should probably go check
on that deer, actually.|
|00:40:42||No, we can go.
We can go.|
|00:40:45||˘Ü I know you cannot wait ˘Ü|
|00:40:47||˘Ü Wait to see me, too ˘Ü|
|00:40:49||Oh, my God!|
|00:40:51||This is like
the best song ever!|
|00:40:53||Maybe not ever.|
|00:40:56||˘Ü At the drive-in ˘Ü|
|00:40:57||God, he's so hot!|
|00:40:59||˘ÜIn the old man's Ford ˘Ü|
|00:41:02||˘Ü Behind the bushes ˘Ü|
|00:41:04||Can I get 3,000 beers?|
|00:41:06||˘Ü Until I'm screaming for more ˘Ü|
|00:41:08||˘Ü Down the basement ˘Ü|
Who's next for the beer luge?|
|00:41:14||This guy! This guy's next!
He wants it so bad.|
|00:41:16||You can do it, man.|
|00:41:17||He wants it.|
|00:41:21||Luge! Luge! Luge!
Luge! Luge! Luge!|
|00:41:28||That was so lame. That wasn't, like,
even violent a little bit.|
|00:41:32||Who are you, and why did you
do that to me?|
|00:41:34||Why? Because you looked
like you needed a luge.|
|00:41:37||- I'm Adam.
- I'm April.|
|00:41:39||How are you doing?|
|00:41:41||What brings you here?|
- That band. Poison.|
|00:41:49||I'm a journalist.
I'm covering the band for Spin magazine.|
|00:41:53||You don't really look
like you're the type.|
|00:41:54||The Poison type?
God, no. I'm not. I'm really not.|
|00:41:57||I basically just
got onto this bus|
|00:41:59||and it took me here,
to goddamn Winterfest.|
|00:42:07||You know what?
I can't talk to you.|
|00:42:10||But I'm awesome.
I can guarantee that.|
|00:42:12||I'm sure. You see, I have to walk
in the exact same footsteps.|
|00:42:15||This didn't happen.|
|00:42:17||Well, it kind of happened.|
|00:42:18||I wish it did.|
|00:42:19||- I just saw it happen.
- It really didn't.|
|00:42:21||Yeah. No, I contributed.|
|00:42:23||I wish it did.|
|00:42:32||I brought you some ice.
It'll make you feel better.|
|00:42:36||Let's see that.|
|00:42:39||That ice does make me feel better.|
|00:42:45||Hey, you know what?
I just remembered I gotta meet a guy.|
|00:42:48||No, no. Wait.|
|00:42:50||No, you can't go.|
|00:42:52||'Cause guess what?|
|00:42:55||I only do two at a time.|
|00:42:58||What do you mean?|
|00:42:59||What do I mean?|
|00:43:04||There those are.|
|00:43:06||Yeah, let's do this.|
|00:43:08||Him first? Okay.|
|00:43:10||It's your thing.
I don't wanna tell you what to do.|
I gotta get the phone.|
|00:43:20||I wanna know what
the doctor said.|
we can't do this.|
|00:43:23||Yes, we can.|
|00:43:25||No, this didn't happen.|
|00:43:26||- We can't do this.
- Yes, we can.|
|00:43:27||- This didn't happen in the past.
- Yes, it did. Shut up.|
|00:43:29||This did not fucking
happen in the past.|
|00:43:31||You shut the fuck up,
|00:43:32||We're gonna make, like,
Hitler president or something.|
|00:43:34||We can't do this.|
|00:43:36||Look, can you be
fucking normal? Please?|
|00:43:40||Every young man's fantasy
is to have a three-way.|
|00:43:42||- Not with another fucking guy.
- It's still a three-way.|
|00:43:44||What about the policy
of the butterfly effect?|
|00:43:46||The butterfly effect
can suck my nuts!|
|00:43:49||Look, we're gonna have sex
with this girl, okay?|
|00:43:52||You, me, together.|
|00:43:55||Enough of this queer shit.
Let's get the mood right.|
Look, right there.|
|00:44:01||You don't wanna seem overzealous
with a full-on rager.|
|00:44:04||You don't want
to insult the woman, either.|
|00:44:06||You're gonna wanna get at least
a half-a-chub going, right?|
|00:44:09||- Look at me.
|00:44:10||- Look at that.
|00:44:11||Look at how, like,
perfect that is.|
|00:44:13||I'm not gonna
|00:44:16||Look, look. Here.|
|00:44:17||What the fuck, man?|
|00:44:20||- I'm out of here.
- Come on, Jake,|
|00:44:22||- I was just getting you started.
- Don't care!|
|00:44:23||Guys do that.|
|00:44:24||No one does that!|
I'm out of here.|
|00:44:42||How did it go
|00:44:46||Oh, my God.|
|00:44:49||Oh, my God. Whoo!
Why aren't you dancing?|
|00:44:53||Whoa! What's your name?|
|00:44:58||What the fuck are you doing?|
|00:45:00||- You're supposed to break up with her!
- I know.|
|00:45:01||No, no, no.
Just check it out, okay?|
the key to something.|
|00:45:05||And I messed it up
when I broke up with her before,|
|00:45:07||and now the universe
is giving me another crack at it.|
|00:45:10||And if you thought
you could really start over|
|00:45:13||and do something
even consider it?|
|00:45:16||You're absolutely right.|
|00:45:17||You think so? Really?|
|00:45:18||No. Fuck, no!|
|00:45:23||What do you mean,
you didn't do it?|
|00:45:25||I'm getting to it.|
|00:45:26||No, we were supposed to do
everything that we did.|
|00:45:28||That's what I remember.|
what the fuck, man?|
|00:45:31||You were supposed
to fucking dump her.|
|00:45:32||You think I liked getting my ass fucked
up and down the entire street?|
|00:45:35||- Because I didn't.
- It's not that I'm not gonna do it,|
|00:45:36||I just haven't done it yet.
There's a big difference.|
|00:45:38||Look at my face, dude.|
|00:45:39||Look at my fucking face!
Drink me in.|
|00:45:41||You think I wouldn't have liked
to have changed this?|
|00:45:43||Shut the fuck up, Lou.
You tried to rope me into a three-way.|
- Did you?|
|00:45:48||Lou! Did you?|
|00:45:50||I didn't fuck that girl.
|00:45:53||Because I'm committed
to not changing the past.|
|00:45:56||Right. It had nothing to do with her|
|00:45:58||wanting to be a Chinese finger trap.|
|00:45:59||And I'm not saying that
because she was Asian.|
|00:46:01||So you're telling me
I cheated on my wife for no reason.|
|00:46:05||Just relax, okay?|
|00:46:06||I'm gonna do it.
I just haven't done it yet!|
|00:46:09||- Hey, Nick, can I ask you a question?
|00:46:11||Does this seem like
it's all about Adam again?|
|00:46:12||Yeah, just like
- You gonna bring that up?|
|00:46:17||We said we weren't gonna talk
about Cincinnati ever, okay?|
|00:46:19||Is this why you have that shoebox
in your closet that says "Cincinnati"?|
That's fucking admissible!|
|00:46:25||You keep it
in the closet?|
|00:46:26||What was I supposed to do with it?
You can't bury those things.|
|00:46:29||And you wrote
"Cincinnati" on it?|
|00:46:30||How do I know which one
it's supposed to be?|
|00:46:34||Is it a fetus?|
|00:46:36||Why are we still
talking about this?|
|00:46:38||Okay, we said
we would never talk about that.|
|00:46:40||By the way, where does it say
in the fucking friendship handbook|
|00:46:43||that you are the only one
who is allowed any fucking problems?|
|00:46:47||I forgot that it says
in the asshole handbook|
|00:46:49||that you can just
fuck over your friends
whenever you want!|
|00:46:52||Actually, it would say that
in the asshole handbook|
|00:46:53||if it was, like,
guidelines for being an asshole,|
|00:46:55||- that's what it would say.
- Why wouldn't it say that|
|00:46:56||- in the asshole handbook?
- Yeah, it would say|
|00:46:58||- to fuck your friends.
- "Fuck over your friends."|
|00:46:59||- No, no, no.
- Have you ever read a book?|
|00:47:00||You're right. I'm sorry, my bad.
You guys are right.|
|00:47:04||But if you're changing
the fucking past, okay,|
|00:47:06||then I'm changing
the fucking past, all right?|
|00:47:10||Okay! We're in the game!
I like this.|
|00:47:13||I didn't change anything yet,
I just didn't do it.|
|00:47:14||And if we're
|00:47:16||you better be there at midnight
to get my fucking back.|
- I'll be there.|
|00:47:19||Guys! Guys! Come on, man.
Talk to me about this!|
|00:47:22||- Fuck off.
|00:47:23||- I'll be back in a minute.
- Where are you going?|
|00:47:25||I gotta go.
I'm getting out of here.|
|00:47:26||No, no, Adam,
listen to me, please.|
|00:47:28||Jenny Stedmeyer is not
your fucking destiny, okay?|
|00:47:30||She's just some girl.|
|00:47:31||Some girl you dated
in high school, okay?|
|00:47:33||I know! I just got some emotions coming up.|
|00:47:35||I got some feelings
that I got to deal with.|
|00:47:37||I'm gonna do it.
I believe in you.
|00:47:39||You know what? That's fine.
Everybody just take off!|
|00:47:40||I don't need to be born.|
|00:47:42||I'll just go find the repairman myself
and fix the time machine.|
|00:47:46||That's the dumbest thing
I've said in a while.|
|00:47:50||You made the best
decision of your life,|
|00:47:52||choosing me as
your friend over Adam.|
|00:47:54||I'm pretty sure
what's going on here.|
|00:47:55||Don't be afraid.
I'm gonna treat you right.|
|00:47:57||- Daddy's gonna take care of you.
|00:48:00||Here we go. It's like
a slow-motion guillotine.|
|00:48:05||What the F-ing fuck?|
|00:48:15||Here we go.
Here we go. Round two.|
|00:48:19||Should we help him?|
This is his destiny.|
|00:48:30||- Did it happen?
|00:48:35||If that guy doesn't
lose his arm soon,|
|00:48:37||I'm gonna fucking
take it from him myself.|
|00:48:47||Come on down, man.
Have a brewski with us.|
|00:48:49||There's a party.|
|00:48:50||"No foreign army has ever
occupied American soil.|
|00:48:55||Watching Red Dawn again, or...|
|00:49:01||And these are their secret
|00:49:03||What are you
|00:49:04||Look at this stuff, man.|
|00:49:06||They could be
spies or something.|
|00:49:09||I don't know, Blaine.
I mean, they seem a little young|
|00:49:11||to be spies, you know.|
|00:49:12||Come on, Chaz.|
|00:49:14||They could be
some kind of 21 Jump Street|
|00:49:17||spy battalion-type dudes.|
|00:49:21||Yeah. Yeah. Or not at all, you know?
There's also that.|
|00:49:25||What the fuck is this?|
I wanna talk to you about.|
|00:49:29||It's something I'm supposed to do
but I don't wanna do.|
|00:49:31||- You know why?
- Okay, Adam. But...|
|00:49:33||Because I was thinking
about how good we are together, right?|
|00:49:36||- Don't you think? I really think so.
|00:49:38||And I was talking about the future
and I was thinking about,|
|00:49:41||well, my future is this way
and maybe it could be this way.|
|00:49:43||I know I'm rambling now.
God, you're so beautiful.|
|00:49:45||But we got along
so great and...|
|00:49:46||What is that?|
|00:49:49||It's a note I wrote to you.
You should read it.|
|00:49:51||- Right now? Okay.
|00:49:53||"Dear Adam, you're a super-terrific guy
and I love you.|
|00:49:59||"And that's why
this is so hard for me.|
|00:50:00||"You're one of the most
amazing people that I've ever met. I can't..."|
|00:50:04||Are you breaking up with me?
That's what this... This is a break-up note?|
|00:50:07||I'm sorry, Adam.|
|00:50:09||All these years!
You stabbed me in the eye with a fucking fork|
|00:50:11||and you were gonna
break up with me anyway?|
|00:50:13||Is that what
you're saying to me?|
|00:50:14||I did what?|
|00:50:15||Why are you breaking up with me?
That's not how this works.|
|00:50:19||You're such a great guy
and you're gonna find the right girl,|
|00:50:21||but it's not me.|
|00:50:23||And everybody knows what a big deal
you're gonna be some day.|
|00:50:27||No, I'm not.
I'm not. I'm not anybody.|
It's not you, it's me.|
|00:50:36||I say that to you.
You don't say that to me.|
|00:50:39||That's not how this works.|
|00:50:41||Do you know what happens to you
if we don't go back?|
|00:50:45||You end up with
|00:50:46||I like him.|
|00:50:47||You may like him, but then you
end up pregnant with, like, trucker hips,|
|00:50:50||and you have a baby
with Billy Lavatino,|
|00:50:52||and you're addicted
to Weight Watchers, you little bitch.|
|00:50:54||- What did you just call me?
- Take this fucking back!|
|00:50:56||Don't you... Jesus!|
|00:51:01||I don't get fat!|
|00:51:09||If we're changing shit,
we gotta be taking advantage of shit.|
|00:51:14||- No mulligan.
- Come on!|
|00:51:16||- You had, like, five mulligans.
|00:51:17||I'm not talking
about bad stuff,
|00:51:20||I'm just talking
about good stuff.|
|00:51:21||Like keeping Manimal on the air,
|00:51:28||Just preventing her.|
|00:51:29||And there's the catch!
|00:51:39||I know this game.|
|00:51:41||Yeah. This is the Denver-Cleveland
|00:51:43||This is the fucking Drive, man.|
|00:51:48||I know what
we're gonna do.|
|00:51:56||Adam, hey. You're back. Awesome.|
|00:51:59||What's going on here?
Where are the guys?|
|00:52:03||- What's this?
- Read it.|
|00:52:05||"Dear Adam, you are
a super-terrific guy and I love you,|
|00:52:07||"which is why this is so hard for me.
I cherish our friendship."|
|00:52:13||She broke up with you?|
|00:52:15||And you still fucking got stabbed
in the eye?|
|00:52:17||Leave me alone.
Get out of here.|
|00:52:19||What are you doing here?
You writing poetry?|
|00:52:21||Just leave me alone
and get out of here. No.|
fucking break-up poetry.|
|00:52:25||All right, I'm writing
break-up poetry, okay?|
|00:52:28||Because my heart hurts.|
|00:52:30||She stabbed me in
my heart and my eye.|
|00:52:31||Holy shit, you're wasted.|
|00:52:32||Look, I've had
like two wine kills,
- You're fucked up.|
|00:52:39||"Jenny's eyes, like a gypsy's lies
Cut right through the night|
|00:52:41||"Now those eyes are another guy's
And I'm alone with my pain"|
|00:52:44||That was clean.|
|00:52:45||Are you shitting
me with this, Adam?|
|00:52:48||Look, you can
recite it straight|
|00:52:50||or to the tune of
Sweet Child O' Mine.|
|00:52:51||It doesn't matter.|
|00:52:52||Are these mushrooms?
Did you eat these mushrooms, Adam?|
|00:52:56||I like to eat them, you know?
A couple of them.|
|00:52:58||Holy fuck, man,
you gotta stay straight!|
|00:53:00||- You gotta help me get the guys back!
- Just relax.|
|00:53:02||You know, it's not always about
my emotional journey.|
|00:53:04||- It could be about yours.
- Put the coke down!|
|00:53:05||- God damn it, you little fucker!
- Give it to me!|
|00:53:07||Don't you fucking get it?
I'm not gonna be fucking born!|
|00:53:13||How much worse
can it get?|
|00:53:16||What? The '80s?|
|00:53:18||New part shorted
out another part.|
|00:53:20||I hope we can get
that thing working before dawn.|
|00:53:22||Wait, wait, hold on,|
|00:53:23||is that when
the time portal closes,
the party's over.|
|00:53:27||Fuck you, man. Listen.|
|00:53:28||I am at
my wit's end with him,
so you gotta level with me.|
|00:53:31||Are you the mystical
time-travel guide-guy or not?|
|00:53:33||Don't you put
your hands on me, young lady!|
|00:53:37||I'm just trying
to do my job, here.|
|00:53:39||Fuck, hold on.
Quit eating mushrooms, man!|
|00:53:41||I wanna have a few more.|
|00:53:45||What the fuck
is happening to me?
|00:53:55||All right, so anyway,
the repairman's doing his thing.|
|00:53:58||I'm gonna go
find Nick and Lou,|
|00:53:59||and you stay right here.
|00:54:00||I'm gonna stay.|
|00:54:01||You got it,
but you can't leave.|
|00:54:03||I can't move,
because I'm broken.|
|00:54:06||Man, you and my mom
are so fucked.|
|00:54:15||You've got two arms.|
|00:54:17||But you're not going to.
You're gonna lose one.|
|00:54:20||You're gonna lose that arm.|
|00:54:24||You're one of those joker guys.|
|00:54:26||I don't care if you put that arm
in a steel fucking vault,|
|00:54:29||that arm's coming off!|
|00:54:31||You're gonna lose your arm.|
|00:54:32||You're gonna lose your arm!|
|00:54:34||I'm gonna rape you.
I'm gonna rape you!|
|00:54:35||I'm gonna rape you.
I'm gonna rape you.|
|00:54:37||- Have a great night.
|00:54:39||...to the end zone.
|00:54:44||Pay up, suckers!
|00:54:46||How does he do it?
How is he right
all the time?|
|00:54:49||Let me ask you
|00:54:52||How you getting so lucky?|
|00:54:53||I know the fucking future,
|00:54:55||Really? One more bet.|
|00:54:57||Ricky, come on.
You said one more
and then you'd be done.|
|00:55:00||I also said to shut the fuck up.
|00:55:02||Okay, I love you.
Shut the fuck up.|
|00:55:04||By the way,
I love your coat.|
|00:55:06||I don't give a shit
about animals, either, so...|
|00:55:08||One more bet.
|00:55:09||All right. All right.
Bring it on, Spader.|
|00:55:12||Bring it on, Jo-Jo.|
|00:55:14||I bet Elway throws
a touchdown pass|
|00:55:16||with 37 seconds
left on the clock.|
|00:55:18||Fat chance, asshole.
Elway's done nothing
|00:55:20||Well then, in the spirit of high stakes,
let's make it interesting.|
|00:55:23||Let's make it
|00:55:24||If I win, your wife gives me a blowjob.|
|00:55:30||A classy one.|
|00:55:34||- Hey, screw you, kid.
- Hey, okay,|
|00:55:35||and if you win,
name your price.|
|00:55:39||Touchdown pass at
37 seconds, exactly?|
I take all your winnings.|
|00:55:48||And you give your
buddy a blowjob.|
|00:55:49||What? Hell, no.|
|00:55:53||- Well done. I like your style.
- I like your style.|
|00:55:55||He's very creative.|
|00:55:56||I don't like you
taking liberties with my dick.|
|00:56:01||We know the fucking future.
We can't lose.|
|00:56:06||Hey. Hey, there.
What are you doing?|
|00:56:13||Okay, how's the view
from down there?|
|00:56:25||Why are you
bleeding in the snow?|
|00:56:27||That? No, I...|
|00:56:28||I got stabbed in the face with a fork.|
|00:56:31||I saw it coming and I avoided it.
I mean, I didn't avoid it.|
|00:56:35||It just happened again to me
in a slightly different way.|
|00:56:38||Boy, I really wish
I knew what the fuck you were talking about.|
|00:56:43||All the choices we make in our life,
|00:56:45||There's no escaping
|00:56:48||I don't know, man.|
|00:56:52||So, you're saying that your whole
entire life is predetermined to suck,|
|00:56:55||no matter what you do?|
|00:56:57||It's not the way
I want it, but...|
|00:56:58||Kind of seems like
a really, really good excuse|
|00:57:01||to do something totally amazing
right now, tonight.|
hang out with a girl that you just met|
|00:57:12||before her bus
has to leave in two hours?|
|00:57:17||I thought you said
we were going to get some food.|
We're about to get some food.|
|00:57:22||I'm pretty hungry,
They forgot to leave the key.|
|00:57:28||Carol and Stan Stapleton.
They're my friends. They live here,|
|00:57:31||and I housesit for them
when they go to Nepal, sometimes.|
|00:57:34||I thought you said
you came in here on a bus.|
|00:57:36||They usually do leave,
like, a side door open.|
|00:57:40||- They do?
- So let me... I'll be right back.|
|00:57:44||Yep, it's unlocked.|
|00:57:53||So which one's Carol?|
|00:57:58||Carol's on the left.|
|00:58:00||Elway's last stand.
45 seconds left on the clock.|
|00:58:03||I'm really good at getting head.
|00:58:07||- Elway takes the snap.
- Go, baby.|
|00:58:08||He fades back. Elway fires.
He's got Jackson open.|
|00:58:11||He's impossibly open!|
|00:58:13||Wait, what's this? Vermin?|
|00:58:15||No, no, no!
I know this squirrel.|
|00:58:16||That's a magic fucking squirrel.
This doesn't count.|
|00:58:19||He's distracted by a wild squirrel!|
|00:58:20||What the fuck?|
|00:58:21||Incomplete! Game's over!
|00:58:24||The Dawg Pound is going
to the Super Bowl.|
|00:58:28||I've never seen anything like it!|
|00:58:30||He did it. Got to go!|
Look at all that money.|
|00:58:33||I was kidding about the blowjob thing.
Obviously, we're comedians.|
|00:58:36||Hey, guys. Guys.|
|00:58:39||A bet's a bet.|
|00:58:45||So you're a Time Lord?|
|00:58:48||And a Jacuzzi is your spaceship?|
|00:58:52||That is correct, madam.|
|00:58:53||That's the only part
of this whole thing|
|00:58:55||that doesn't make sense to me.|
|00:58:57||You're not the only one.
|00:58:59||I mean, the whole thing
is just totally insane.|
|00:59:05||So, how's the future
working out for you?|
are you like a happy grownup?|
|00:59:10||Not particularly, no.|
|00:59:12||My friends actually
think I ended up being|
|00:59:14||a completely selfish,
|00:59:17||And they may have a point,
actually, if I think about it.|
|00:59:21||I'll tell you something I haven't told
somebody for a long time.|
|00:59:23||When I was a kid,|
|00:59:24||every Friday night,
my father used to take my sister Kelly and me|
|00:59:28||to this place called Flatirons
for steak sandwiches.|
|00:59:31||It was a family tradition.|
a good thing.|
|00:59:35||But one year,
we saw this commercial|
|00:59:38||for this place called
The Enchanted Forest of Pizza.|
|00:59:41||So the next Friday,
my dad's loading us up into the car.|
|00:59:45||We're like, "Daddy, we want
to go to The Enchanted Forest of Pizza."|
|00:59:48||And he's like,
"What are you talking about?|
|00:59:50||"We always go for
|00:59:52||But we just stay at him|
|00:59:54||and we're whining,
and we're badgering, and finally he relents.|
|00:59:57||Nice. So, you win.|
|00:59:58||You deviated from the plan
in a really big way. That's good.|
|01:00:02||33 people died of E. Coli.|
|01:00:05||Including my father.|
|01:00:07||Before he died, he looked at me and he
|01:00:09||"Adam, you did this."|
|01:00:11||No, he didn't.|
|01:00:13||Yes, he did,|
|01:00:14||with his eyes.|
|01:00:15||I don't think that
that's what he meant with his eyes.|
|01:00:18||The point is that Kelly and I dealt with
the guilt of this in very different ways.|
|01:00:22||She went wild, right?|
|01:00:24||She didn't want to have control over anything.|
|01:00:26||But I vowed to master the chaos,|
|01:00:28||- to impose order.
- Adam, I really don't think|
|01:00:30||that you can let a poison pizza ruin
the rest of your life.|
|01:00:34||You got to embrace the chaos.
You have to.|
|01:00:37||That way, life might just
|01:00:50||- I had so much fun tonight.
- I know!|
|01:00:52||Fuck! Game on.|
|01:00:56||- You look so hot, by the way.
start sucking, gaylord.|
|01:01:03||Suck that shit, man!|
|01:01:04||- Suck! Suck! Suck!
- Suck! Suck! Suck!|
|01:01:07||Who are you people?|
|01:01:09||God, who are you people?|
|01:01:12||Let's get on with this.
My fondue's getting cold.|
|01:01:14||Choke on that horn, man!|
|01:01:20||Wow, good for you.|
|01:01:22||I know, right?|
|01:01:23||It's like Gary Coleman's
|01:01:26||It's so black!|
|01:01:28||It's so impossibly black.|
|01:01:32||- I love you, buddy.
- Don't say that!|
|01:01:34||I'm sorry, I do.|
|01:01:36||No, no, no!|
|01:01:52||Maybe what you need
isn't in here, after all.|
|01:01:55||Maybe what you need
has always been in here.|
Is it fixed yet?|
|01:02:06||Can be. Ready to go?|
|01:02:08||Wait, go where?|
|01:02:10||To the room, check it out.
I've got the part right here.|
|01:02:12||Yeah. Yeah, let's go.|
|01:02:13||- Let's go.
|01:02:19||- Where did he go?
|01:02:21||This fucking guy.|
|01:02:31||Hey! There he is!|
- What the fuck?|
|01:02:38||What, do I still
have some on my face?|
|01:02:45||Did you have
|01:02:47||I can't go home.
What the fuck?|
|01:02:50||I'm fucking with you, dude.|
|01:02:51||It's hand soap.|
|01:02:54||Oh, my God. Relax.|
|01:02:56||It's like you haven't
seen a little come|
|01:02:58||on your friend's face before,
|01:03:00||What the fuck is
wrong with you, man?|
|01:03:02||I'm just kidding.
It's what friends do. God!|
|01:03:06||Gargle your hog?
|01:03:09||After they pulled you off of me,
me and Rick talked it out.|
a pretty cool guy.|
|01:03:12||We have a lot in common.
We both love tits and Motley Crue.|
|01:03:17||Yeah, I just told
him a bunch of shit|
|01:03:19||that's gonna make
him rich in the future.|
the good stuff for us.|
|01:03:23||Let's go to the bar,
plan our empire.|
|01:03:31||Fucking iPods, you know?
|01:03:35||Match. Com. Anything. Com.
Fucking Internet. Com!|
|01:03:38||Fucking Zac Efron.
Nobody invented him yet.|
|01:03:43||What about Twitter?
Whatever the fuck that is.|
|01:03:46||Hey, we could combine
Twitter with fucking Viagra.|
|01:03:54||What's the matter, dude?
|01:03:56||I'm sorry, man.
I'm just preoccupied.|
|01:03:59||You just kind of down
about being black and out of shape?|
|01:04:02||What the fuck is
wrong with you? No.|
|01:04:05||Because you look good,
|01:04:06||This is a great time
for black people.|
|01:04:09||I mean our time,
not this time.|
|01:04:10||This is a terrible time
for black people.|
|01:04:11||I don't see one other
black person in here.|
|01:04:15||Talk to me, man.|
|01:04:16||I found out she
fucking cheating on you?|
|01:04:21||I gave her my life,
I gave up my passion.|
|01:04:24||And she's just
|01:04:26||Why the fuck
didn't you say something, man?|
|01:04:28||That's just it!
I never see you guys anymore.|
|01:04:31||I don't have my music,
I barely have friends.|
|01:04:38||You're just fucking
Courtney's bitch right now.|
|01:04:40||You need to be
your own man,
What the fuck is that?|
|01:04:44||- It's terrible.
- It doesn't work.|
|01:04:46||No. Nick Webber,
that's who you are.|
|01:04:49||That's who I was.|
|01:04:51||Maybe you gotta
find him again.|
|01:04:53||You know, she's getting hers,
you go get yours.|
|01:04:57||I can't, man.|
|01:04:59||It means something
to me to be married.|
|01:05:01||You're not fucking married.
|01:05:03||In my heart I am.|
a fucking liar.|
|01:05:14||You know what?
You know what you got to do?|
|01:05:19||You gotta get your
ass up on that stage.|
|01:05:26||I'm gonna do it.|
|01:05:27||Yeah. Do it.|
|01:05:28||Hey, hey, hey.
Do it fucking quickly, okay?|
|01:05:31||You better be at
that fight with me.|
|01:05:32||Don't leave me
hanging this time.|
|01:05:33||- I won't. I promise.
- All right.|
|01:05:35||Hey, Adam. Fuck.|
|01:05:48||You're good to go.|
|01:05:50||Holy shit. Really?|
|01:05:51||Some sort of
sticky liquid got into|
|01:05:53||the crossover housing,
I don't know.|
|01:05:56||Must have had some
nitratriminium in it.|
|01:06:00||Whatever it was, it ravaged
the hell out of the electronics.|
|01:06:03||Worked out for you
and the boys, though.|
|01:06:05||Wait, hold on,
are you saying that|
|01:06:07||that's the key to
the whole thing?|
|01:06:08||We need the Chernobly
to get back?|
|01:06:09||All I'm saying is, whatever your poison,
I wouldn't tub without it.|
|01:06:13||Especially after dawn.|
|01:06:15||It'd kill you
to give me a straight answer?|
you're kind of a dick.|
you ready to jam?|
|01:06:25||Ladies and gentlemen,
help me welcome to the stage|
|01:06:33||It's been a long time.|
|01:06:41||˘Ü No, I'm never
gonna dance again ˘Ü|
|01:06:43||˘Ü Guilty feet
have got no rhythm ˘Ü|
|01:06:55||˘Ü Jessie is a friend ˘Ü|
|01:06:59||˘Ü Yeah, I know he's been
a good friend of mine ˘Ü|
|01:07:03||˘Ü But lately something's changed
It ain't hard to define ˘Ü|
|01:07:06||˘Ü Jessie's got himself a girl
And I want to make her mine ˘Ü|
|01:07:12||These guys are dangerous.
Look at this stuff.|
|01:07:14||Blaine, it looks
like a skinny soda can.|
|01:07:16||No, a soda-can bomb!
This stuff's straight out of Moscow.|
|01:07:20||Let's go kick
that Commie's ass!|
|01:07:23||Shouldn't we call the cops
or the FBI or something?|
|01:07:26||No, we're gonna
handle this internally.|
|01:07:39||˘Ü I wish that I had ˘Ü|
|01:07:40||˘Ü Jessie's girl ˘Ü|
|01:07:42||˘Ü I wish that I had ˘Ü|
|01:07:44||˘Ü Jessie's girl ˘Ü|
|01:07:50||˘Ü Yeah ˘Ü|
|01:08:00||This song is from the future,
but since you've been good,|
|01:08:03||you get it early.|
|01:08:04||Just like we rehearsed.|
|01:08:07||˘Ü Let's get it started ˘Ü|
|01:08:10||˘Ü in here ˘Ü|
|01:08:16||˘Ü And the bass keep runnin' runnin'
And runnin' runnin' ˘Ü|
|01:08:19||˘Ü And runnin' runnin'
And runnin' runnin' ˘Ü|
|01:08:26||˘Ü In this context
There's no disrespect ˘Ü|
|01:08:28||˘Ü So when I bust my rhyme
You break your necks ˘Ü|
|01:08:30||˘Ü We got five minutes
For us to disconnect ˘Ü|
|01:08:33||˘Ü From all intellect
Collect the rhythm effect ˘Ü|
|01:08:35||˘Ü So lose your inhibition
Follow your intuition ˘Ü|
|01:08:37||˘Ü Free your inner soul
And break away from tradition ˘Ü|
|01:08:40||˘Ü 'Cause when we beat out
Girl, it's putting heat out ˘Ü|
|01:08:42||˘Ü You wouldn't believe
How we wow shit out ˘Ü|
|01:08:44||˘Ü Burn it till it's burned out
Turn it till it's turned out ˘Ü|
|01:08:46||˘Ü Act up from north,
west, east, south ˘Ü|
|01:08:49||˘Ü Everybody, everybody
Let's get into it ˘Ü|
|01:08:52||˘Ü Get stupid
Get it started ˘Ü|
|01:08:55||˘Ü Get it started
Get it started ˘Ü|
|01:08:57||˘Ü Let's get it started
Let's get it started in here ˘Ü|
|01:09:07||˘Ü Everybody, everybody
Let's get into it ˘Ü|
|01:09:11||˘Ü Get stupid
Get it started ˘Ü|
|01:09:13||˘Ü Get it started, get it started
Let's get it started ˘Ü|
the Kodiak Club?|
|01:09:19||Down the street, dude.|
|01:09:20||Okay. Okay, thank you.|
|01:09:22||Listen, me and my boys
got some shit-kicking to do.|
|01:09:32||Get out of my way, stool.|
|01:09:34||˘Ü Transmit hits
with no delusion ˘Ü|
|01:09:37||˘Ü The feeling's irresistible
And that's how we moving ˘Ü|
|01:09:41||˘Ü Let's get into it ˘Ü|
|01:09:43||That's my boy,
|01:09:44||- The singer?
|01:09:46||˘Ü Let's get it started ˘Ü|
|01:09:48||I'll be back. My friends are over there.
I'll come right back.|
|01:09:52||˘Ü Lose control
Of body and soul ˘Ü|
|01:09:54||˘Ü Don't move too fast, people
Just take it slow ˘Ü|
|01:09:56||I'm caught right in the middle
of a thing right now,|
|01:09:59||but can I text you later?|
|01:10:01||- Can you what?
- Are you online at all?|
|01:10:02||I have no idea
what you're saying.|
|01:10:04||How do I get
a hold of you?|
|01:10:05||You come find me.|
|01:10:07||That just sounds|
|01:10:11||˘Ü With no delusion ˘Ü|
|01:10:12||˘Ü The feeling's irresistible
And that's how we moving ˘Ü|
|01:10:15||There he is.
Where are your boys?|
|01:10:17||I thought they were
gonna hold your sack.|
|01:10:18||Let's kick his ass, Blaine.|
|01:10:22||Where are my fucking friends?|
|01:10:24||˘Ü Whoo-hoo! Let's get ˘Ü|
|01:10:26||˘Ü Whoo-hoo! In here ˘Ü|
|01:10:28||˘Ü Let's get Whoo-hoo! ˘Ü|
|01:10:30||˘Ü While I get Whoo-hoo! ˘Ü|
|01:10:32||- You like that song?
- Yeah, it's great.|
|01:10:34||It's gonna be a hit.|
|01:10:43||˘Ü And runnin' runnin'
And runnin' runnin' ˘Ü|
|01:10:52||Thank you. Thank you.|
|01:10:58||That was sweet.|
All right, man.|
|01:11:03||Good to have you back,
see you back up there, man.|
|01:11:05||Hey, it's coming back.
I should have
done this years ago.|
|01:11:07||- Guys. Adam. Guys!
- About time.|
|01:11:10||Did you see him?
Did you see him rock out?|
|01:11:12||Shut up! Okay, we gotta find
the Chernobly to get out of here.|
|01:11:16||I don't know, exactly.|
|01:11:17||But the repairman said
it's got nitro-trainium...|
- Thank you.|
|01:11:22||Or some shit in it
that'll fix the time machine.|
|01:11:25||- That makes sense.
- Where's Lou?|
What time is it?|
|01:11:30||Fuck! Fuck! Shit! Shit!|
|01:11:38||- Where is he?
|01:11:42||Oh, my God!
We missed it again!|
|01:11:45||Well, where do you think
|01:11:49||Same place as last time?|
|01:11:52||˘Ü Keeps me together at the seams ˘Ü|
|01:11:56||˘Ü I'm on my way ˘Ü|
|01:11:59||Shut up, you flamer!|
|01:12:01||˘Ü I'm on my way ˘Ü|
|01:12:05||Hey, go home! Loser!|
|01:12:08||Hey, John Lennon gets shot!|
|01:12:10||Wait, did that
|01:12:19||They made it, everybody!
Best friends in the world!|
|01:12:23||Almost just in time!|
|01:12:28||Fucking Chimney Point, right?
Here we are.|
|01:12:31||Bottle of scotch,
end of the night.|
|01:12:35||Where were you?|
|01:12:37||We were just...
Every fucking night.|
|01:12:41||Huh? What happened?
We were gonna do shit together, man.|
|01:12:44||We were gonna conquer the fucking world.
Me and you.|
|01:12:47||And then you cut me off.|
|01:12:49||What was I
gonna do, man?|
|01:12:50||I was gonna let you drag me down
into your bullshit, Lou?|
|01:12:53||Yeah. Yes, because
that's what friends do.|
|01:12:55||No, they don't, man!|
|01:12:56||Because then there's two people
stuck in the bullshit|
|01:12:58||instead of your sorry ass.|
|01:12:59||You should stick by your friends
through thick and thin!|
I got two things to say to you.|
|01:13:12||Number one, I hate you.|
|01:13:16||Our friendship means nothing.|
|01:13:19||All right, is that the first thing
or the second thing?|
|01:13:21||What? No, clearly that's still part
of the first thing.|
|01:13:23||- I mean, am I the asshole?
- Did you get that?|
|01:13:25||- No, I didn't get it. I thought...
- He didn't get it.|
|01:13:26||He said A and B...|
|01:13:28||Let's agree to disagree
about the "first" thing.|
|01:13:30||Lou, where is the Chernobly?
We need it to get back.|
|01:13:34||"Where's the Chernobly
|01:13:36||That's all you ever
fucking care about.|
|01:13:38||It's the first time
he mentioned it.|
|01:13:39||Yeah, and even if we had
mentioned it before,|
|01:13:41||it's kind of a fucking big deal, okay?
I wanna go home.|
|01:13:44||Come on, Lou.
Let's talk about this inside.|
|01:13:45||You got no shoes on.
It's cold out.|
|01:13:47||Who took my fucking shoe?|
|01:13:48||Blaine apparently beat your shoe
off of you,|
|01:13:51||which I don't even know how
that could fucking happen.|
|01:13:53||Okay, fuck it!
Fuck you, fuck you and fuck you!|
|01:14:04||I got you.|
|01:14:06||Oh, my God!|
|01:14:07||- Is Lou dead?
|01:14:08||There he is.|
|01:14:11||I can't hold on.|
|01:14:12||Yes, you can!|
|01:14:13||Yes, you can hang on!|
|01:14:15||- I'm slipping.
- No, hold on.|
Hold on. Guys!|
|01:14:26||We're dead! This is how it happens!
This is how he loses it!|
|01:14:30||Fuck it, we're dead men!
Just let me go.|
|01:14:33||Lou, be positive.|
|01:14:37||The roof is
scraping my nut!|
|01:14:39||Damn, you strong.|
|01:14:45||You're all right?
I'm glad you guys are all right.|
|01:14:52||Why do you do
shit like that?|
|01:14:54||- I'm sorry! Jesus!
- Thank you, Phil.|
|01:14:56||All right, here's the second
fucking thing, okay?|
|01:14:59||Blaine's got the Chernobly.|
|01:15:00||Let's just get it from him,
so we can get back to the present|
|01:15:03||so I can start never seeing
you bitches again.|
|01:15:08||- Hey, hey, hey, hey!
|01:15:09||I was looking for you.
Where'd you go?|
|01:15:11||I had to go...
My friend got in trouble, but I had to...|
|01:15:13||I'm leaving right now.|
|01:15:15||You're leaving right now?|
- That's not good.|
|01:15:17||I told you, I had two hours.
I gotta go.|
|01:15:20||Uncle Adam, come on!
Who the fuck is that chick?|
|01:15:24||Do you wanna come with me?|
|01:15:25||- Get her fax number and let's go.
- Come on.|
|01:15:26||- I can't.
- Yes, you can.|
|01:15:27||You can do whatever you want, man.
It's your life.|
|01:15:30||I want to.|
|01:15:31||Good. Then come on.|
|01:15:32||But I can't because my friends need me
and I gotta show up for them,|
|01:15:36||so I really can't.|
|01:15:40||So what are we...
I mean, do we...|
|01:15:43||- What happens?
- I don't know.|
|01:15:45||I'm not really
making any plans.|
|01:15:47||I'm just sort of letting
the universe surprise me, right?|
|01:15:49||I like that.
I like that a lot.|
|01:15:50||That's the sign
of a happy man.|
|01:15:51||April, let's go!|
|01:15:56||Maybe the universe will
bring us together again.|
|01:16:08||Casanova, let's do this!|
|01:16:19||Just turn it around
and keep it running, okay?|
|01:16:21||Yeah, sure thing.|
You go this way,
I'll go this way?|
|01:16:26||No, I'm gonna do the opposite
of everything you say.|
one's Blaine's room.|
|01:16:45||Go, go, go.|
|01:16:59||Let's try in here.
Where is it?|
|01:17:03||Come on! Come on, come on.|
|01:17:09||Panties, panties, panties!|
|01:17:12||What the fuck are you doing?|
|01:17:13||Why don't you shut
your slut mouth|
|01:17:16||and mind your own fucking business?|
|01:17:17||You disgust me.|
|01:17:25||I love how much you hate you.|
|01:17:36||- They're here, come on.
|01:17:37||"Fuck" as in, "The Chernobly's here
and we're all good"?|
|01:17:39||No, "fuck" as in, "fuck!"|
|01:17:42||Admit it! You sucked his balls,
you licked his booty,|
|01:17:45||you sucked his toes.|
|01:17:47||Was his dick
bigger than mine?|
|01:17:48||You wore the heels,
|01:17:50||Admit it, bitch!|
|01:17:52||There's gonna be
some changes, all right?|
|01:17:54||First, I'm dropping
"Agnew" from my name.|
|01:17:56||No more hyphenate.|
|01:17:57||Next, I'm getting
back on stage.|
|01:17:59||I'm going back to music
because I jam.|
|01:18:01||But you wouldn't know
nothing about that|
|01:18:03||because you're probably
somewhere sucking a motherfucker's dick!|
|01:18:08||Hang up the phone, Jerry.
This shit don't concern you.|
|01:18:12||How do you know my name?|
|01:18:13||Hang up the phone,
|01:18:15||This is between
me and my wife!|
|01:18:17||Hey! Give me that phone!|
|01:18:19||Give him the phone, Nick.|
|01:18:21||I know what I'm doing.
I know what I'm doing!|
|01:18:23||No, you don't, man.
Let it go! Let it go, man.|
But you're a bad girl and you hurt him.|
|01:18:30||Were you just yelling
at your 9-year-old wife?|
|01:18:36||God damn it.
I'm gonna go nuclear on these guys.|
have gone far, man.|
|01:18:42||Lou! Come on,
we gotta go.|
|01:18:49||Hey, did you find the Chernobly?|
|01:18:53||- Where did he go?
|01:18:55||- What the fuck?
- What's happened?|
|01:19:00||Oh, my God. I get it.|
|01:19:03||I'm his father.|
|01:19:09||Wait, so what do we do?|
|01:19:10||Oh, my God.|
|01:19:17||You finish this.|
We got a stupid baby to make right now.|
|01:19:26||I'm back inside of you.|
|01:19:28||I can't believe I'm
fucking Adam's sister!|
|01:19:32||I'm doing it!
I'm doing it!|
|01:19:36||It's gonna take me a while
'cause I'm a little drunk.|
|01:19:39||Oh, no, it's not.
Here I come.|
|01:19:40||Oh, my God, I'm gonna come!
|01:19:43||Oh, Shia LaBeouf!|
|01:19:48||So much fucking semen.
Little tiny Jacobs!|
|01:19:56||There's my boy.|
|01:19:59||It was so beautiful.
You sack of shit!|
|01:20:04||I knew there was a reason
I fucking hated you.|
|01:20:06||And now I know why.|
|01:20:07||I'm gonna tell everybody in prison that
I traveled back in time|
|01:20:11||to kill my own father!|
|01:20:12||- Jacob, get off him. Come on!
- Time out, young man.|
|01:20:14||Get the fuck off of me!
You're a fucking dead man!|
|01:20:18||Nobody fucks my mother
in the past!|
|01:20:20||I feel pregnant.|
|01:20:33||You Commies looking for this?|
|01:20:34||- Yes, actually.
- Yes, we are.|
we're looking for.|
|01:20:37||You think we could get that back?|
|01:20:38||No, you may not.|
|01:20:39||But bad news for you, sport.
I'm a patriot.|
|01:20:43||And I'm not about to let some
Ruskie fucks come into my town|
|01:20:45||and blow shit up with
some red-soda-can bomb.|
|01:20:48||Just give it to us,
you can have it back.|
|01:20:52||As long as that sack over there
comes and takes it from me.|
|01:20:56||- I think he's talking about you.
- He's talking about you.|
talking about me.|
|01:21:06||Can I please
get the soda back?|
|01:21:08||Yeah, sure you can.|
|01:21:15||Fuck me in the face.|
a body bag, Blaine!|
|01:21:18||Give us a minute, okay?
Listen to me, man.|
|01:21:21||That guy, that guy has pummeled you
again and again.|
|01:21:26||He made you
his little bitch.|
|01:21:28||He's humiliated you,
|01:21:30||The wheel of fate has stopped
and dumped you here again,|
|01:21:36||None of this is
helping me at all.|
|01:21:37||I know, it's coming.
It's coming right now.|
|01:21:40||Maybe you're supposed to do
|01:21:42||What is this, girl talk?
Let's go here, come on.|
|01:21:44||You're better than him.|
|01:21:47||Maybe not by a lot,
but a little.|
|01:21:49||You're the patron saint
of the totally fucked.|
|01:21:52||You're completely toxic.
There's nothing you can't kill.|
|01:21:56||You're the fucking Violator!|
|01:21:58||The moment's over.
|01:21:59||You can do this!
You can get us the fuck out of here!|
|01:22:03||You can be the hero!|
|01:22:06||You love that song,
|01:22:08||I love that fucking song!|
|01:22:10||Give me your best shot.
Come on, buddy.|
|01:22:13||˘Ü I can be your hero, baby ˘Ü|
|01:22:18||˘Ü I can kiss away the pain ˘Ü|
|01:22:25||˘Ü I will stand by you forever ˘Ü|
|01:22:30||˘Ü You can take my breath away ˘Ü|
|01:22:37||God damn it!
None of what you said worked at all.|
|01:22:42||Let's kick these guys' ass,
get the shit and go home.|
|01:22:54||Fuck you! Feels so good!|
we are Russians! Spies.|
|01:23:17||Yeah, because I was
just speaking Russian.|
|01:23:18||He pulls that top,
and this whole fucking place blows.|
|01:23:21||You guys count backwards from 50,
then pull up the carpet and jump around.|
|01:23:25||Or I'll fuck you up.|
Can we go back to the hotel, lodge?|
- Thank you so much.|
|01:23:38||Five, four, three...|
|01:23:40||Blaine, please stop counting.|
|01:23:42||Chaz, this is
an Acorn 5 situation.|
|01:23:46||If we stop counting,
they're gonna blow us sky-high.|
|01:23:48||Look, if it is a bomb,
they've got it with them, all right?|
|01:23:51||If anyone's gonna blow up,
|01:23:55||How long did
our talking just take?|
|01:23:57||I don't know.
I wasn't keeping track.|
|01:23:58||Fuck it, let's risk it!|
|01:24:02||Now that you're with me,
you gotta cover up your belly.|
the fuck out of here.|
|01:24:06||What are you talking about?
We only had sex once.|
|01:24:08||Let's go. Come on.
Kelly, you can
talk about it later.|
|01:24:10||You guys are all right?|
|01:24:11||Thank you, Phil.
|01:24:13||Have a good rest
of your vacation.|
|01:24:15||We'd love to have you come back here
to the Silver Peaks Lodge.|
|01:24:19||- Thanks. Bye-bye.
- Thanks, Phil. Take care.|
|01:24:22||Hey, watch out!|
|01:24:26||God, you guys see that?|
|01:24:28||Come on, man!|
|01:24:30||Why would you
fucking take that from me?|
|01:24:32||I didn't take it from you.|
|01:24:44||Why the fuck
are you laughing? Gross!|
|01:24:50||Man down, man down!
|01:24:53||All right, everybody grab your gear,
we gotta move!|
|01:24:59||Bye, Mom. Love you.
Don't do drugs, okay?|
|01:25:04||Aren't you coming
to my room with me?|
|01:25:06||No, I gotta take
my clothes off|
|01:25:07||and get in a hot
tub with these guys.|
|01:25:09||Then I'm totally
It's been an interesting trip.|
|01:25:12||You're my sister
and I love you.|
|01:25:15||I love you, too.|
|01:25:17||And don't steal
that Caboodle makeup thing from JCPenney|
|01:25:19||and you won't do
any hard time.|
|01:25:21||I'll see you in 20 years.|
|01:25:23||Uh. You're giving me a ride
in the morning, right?|
|01:25:35||Yeah! Let's get
this party started!|
|01:25:46||Here it comes!|
I can see the '90s.|
|01:25:52||Why are you taking
off your clothes?|
|01:25:54||I don't know, man.
It just feels right, you know?|
I'm not gonna go!|
- I'm gonna stay!|
|01:26:04||Don't fuck around, Lou.
|01:26:07||I'm good here, man.|
|01:26:09||I had a good day!
I beat the shit out of that guy, finally!|
|01:26:13||I fucked your sister!|
|01:26:14||I could be a good dad!|
|01:26:16||I love you, Jacob!|
|01:26:21||Little scamp. They say
the damndest things, man.|
|01:26:24||Come on, Lou, let's go!
We'll talk about it when we get home!|
|01:26:28||I was trying
to kill myself!|
|01:26:33||I know, man.
That's why we came here!|
|01:26:35||If I go back, I'm just
gonna kill myself all over again, man.|
|01:26:40||- I can't.
- You're gonna stay?|
|01:26:42||Guys, let's go.|
|01:26:44||All right, well, if you're gonna stay,
I'm gonna stay!|
do that for me?|
|01:26:47||We're best friends!
If you're staying, I'm staying!|
my bullshit, right?|
|01:26:52||I'm your best friend?|
|01:26:54||You are one of
my best friends!|
|01:26:56||I'll take that!|
|01:26:57||Where you going on me?|
|01:26:59||Oh, my God!|
|01:27:01||All right, man. Come on!|
|01:27:48||This better be the last time
my ass travels through time.|
|01:28:15||It is so good
to see you.|
|01:28:19||Are we rolling?|
|01:28:21||Welcome back, bitches!|
|01:28:24||Is that Lou?|
|01:28:25||What took you so long?
All right, zoom out.|
a weird hair choice.|
|01:28:29||Uh-oh. Look what Daddy did.|
|01:28:32||He looks like a lion.|
Didn't see you there.|
|01:28:37||Here's a question.|
|01:28:38||Was it morally wrong for me
to exploit my knowledge of the future|
|01:28:41||for personal financial gain?|
|01:28:45||Here's another question.|
|01:28:46||Do I give a fuck?|
|01:28:48||That's my father.|
|01:28:49||Hey, check out my girl.|
|01:28:51||You burned the fucking crab
|01:28:53||No, I didn't burn them
because I like them that way!|
|01:28:57||I fucking hate you, Louis.|
|01:28:59||I hate you, too, baby.|
|01:29:01||I love that woman, man.|
|01:29:03||Those are my parents.|
a lot has changed.|
|01:29:06||So, whatever happens,
stay the fuck calm.|
|01:29:11||It'll all make sense soon.|
Phil, you got both your arms.|
|01:29:26||Oh. Yeah, I do.|
|01:29:29||Yeah, what happened was
a snowplow came along|
|01:29:32||and it took my arm right off.|
|01:29:34||But the ski patrol came along
and they put it on ice.|
|01:29:37||Blaine and Chaz.
Blaine and Chaz saved his arm!|
|01:29:39||We got 15 minutes
before that thing dies, all right.|
|01:29:42||We're gonna put
that back on you!|
|01:29:43||I'm pretty happy.|
|01:29:45||It looks great.|
|01:29:46||Anyhow, I have instructions
on how to get home.|
|01:29:48||We know how to get home.|
|01:29:50||Yeah. We know...|
|01:29:51||Mr. Dorchen anticipated
that you might say that,|
|01:29:54||so I took the liberty
of printing up some Lougle maps for you.|
|01:29:57||- You mean "Google"?
- Lougle maps.|
|01:29:59||What's the matter with you guys?|
|01:30:06||So, Phil, if you wanna find,
you know, like porno|
|01:30:09||or a restaurant review
or anything like that, you use Lougle?|
|01:30:13||I bet he's on
the Statue of Liberty and shit, too.|
|01:30:20||You want me to go in there?|
it says on the map.|
|01:30:27||Call me later.|
|01:30:36||Welcome back, Mr. Webber.
How was your time away?|
|01:30:43||Hey, how was the trip?|
|01:30:53||˘Ü Letting the days go by ˘Ü|
|01:30:55||˘Ü Let the water hold me down ˘Ü|
|01:30:57||˘Ü Letting the days go by ˘Ü|
|01:30:59||˘Ü Water flowing underground ˘Ü|
|01:31:01||˘Ü Into the blue again ˘Ü|
|01:31:03||˘Ü After the money's gone ˘Ü|
|01:31:05||˘Ü Once in a lifetime ˘Ü|
|01:31:07||˘Ü Water flowing underground ˘Ü|
|01:31:14||Baby, how was your weekend?
I wasn't expecting you today.|
I got something to tell you.|
|01:31:22||I know about what you did
with a guy named Steve.|
motherfucker out there?|
|01:31:31||Baby, wait a minute.
What are you talking about?|
|01:31:35||You think I'm fooling around?|
|01:31:36||First of all, I would never screw around.|
|01:31:40||And you remember I told you about that crazy
wrong number I got when I was nine.|
|01:31:43||- That man was so...
- I love you, Courtney.|
|01:31:45||I love you so much.|
|01:31:47||I love you, too,
|01:31:52||That's your name.|
|01:31:54||Yeah, it is my name.|
|01:31:57||You know my name.
Say it again.|
I'll take this one.|
I made you a drink.|
|01:32:08||Is there alcohol in that?|
|01:32:09||Yeah, I believe
there's still alcohol in scotch.|
|01:32:13||Talk about your
lost weekend, huh?|
|01:32:15||I know, right? Man.|
|01:32:20||What are you faggots talking about?|
|01:32:22||My two handsome men.|
|01:32:24||Let me get you another drink, Dad.|
|01:32:27||Daddy's little buddy.|
|01:32:30||You know what I can't believe?|
|01:32:32||I can't believe we're all here.|
|01:32:34||I can't believe we all made it.|
|01:32:36||Made it together.|
|01:32:38||- A toast.
- A toast.|
|01:32:39||Approximately three days ago, or 20 years,|
|01:32:41||depending on your understanding
of the time-space continuum, Jacob,|
|01:32:45||sitting here with you guys
would have been my worst nightmare.|
|01:32:49||But I can honestly say right now|
|01:32:52||I'm very happy to be right here
in this moment with you,|
|01:32:56||- my best friends.
- Hear, hear.|
|01:33:00||All right. Cheers!|
|01:33:01||To past, present and future.|
|01:33:05||So, "Lougle," huh?|
|01:33:07||Lougle. Just this multibillion-dollar
thing I did for a while.|
|01:33:11||My real passion's music, though.
So pissed the band broke up.|
|01:33:15||Band? What band
were you ever in?|
|01:33:29||˘Ü You know I'm a dreamer ˘Ü|
|01:33:32||˘Ü But my heart's of gold ˘Ü|
|01:33:36||˘Ü I had to run away high ˘Ü|
|01:33:39||˘Ü So I wouldn't come home low ˘Ü|
|01:33:42||˘Ü Just when things went right ˘Ü|
|01:33:45||˘Ü Doesn't mean
they were always wrong ˘Ü|
|01:33:48||˘Ü Just take this song
and you'll never feel ˘Ü|
|01:33:52||˘Ü Left all alone ˘Ü|
|01:33:54||˘Ü Take me to your heart ˘Ü|
|01:33:58||˘Ü Feel me in your bones ˘Ü|
|01:34:00||˘Ü Just one more night ˘Ü|
|01:34:03||˘Ü And I'm coming off this
long and winding road ˘Ü|
|01:34:10||˘Ü I'm on my way ˘Ü|
|01:34:16||˘Ü Home sweet home ˘Ü|
|01:34:21||˘Ü Tonight, tonight ˘Ü|
|01:34:23||˘Ü I'm on my way ˘Ü|
|01:34:29||˘Ü Home sweet home ˘Ü|
|01:34:35||˘Ü You know that I've seen ˘Ü|
|01:34:39||˘Ü Too many romantic dreams ˘Ü|
|01:34:42||˘Ü Up in lights ˘Ü|
|01:34:44||˘Ü falling off the silver screen ˘Ü|
|01:34:48||˘Ü My heart's like an open book ˘Ü|
|01:34:51||˘Ü For the whole world to read ˘Ü|
|01:34:54||˘Ü Sometimes nothing keeps me together ˘Ü|
|01:34:58||˘Ü at the seams ˘Ü|
|01:35:00||˘Ü I'm on my way ˘Ü|
|01:35:06||˘Ü Home sweet home ˘Ü|
|01:35:11||˘Ü Yeah ˘Ü|
|01:35:13||˘Ü I'm on my way ˘Ü|
|01:35:16||˘Ü Just set me free ˘Ü|
|01:35:19||˘Ü Home sweet home ˘Ü|
|01:35:27||English - daejang|