Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

00:00:47There was a time, a time before cable,
00:00:52when the local anchorman reigned supreme,
00:00:58when people believed everything they heard on TV.
00:01:02This was an age when only men were allowed to read the news.
00:01:08And in San Diego, one anchorman was more man than the rest.
00:01:12His name was Ron Burgundy.
00:01:17He was like a god walking amongst mere mortals.
00:01:20He had a voice that could make a wolverine purr,
00:01:25and suits so fine
00:01:27they made Sinatra look like a hobo.
00:01:30In other words, Ron Burgundy was the balls.
00:01:36Mmm. I look good.
00:01:40I mean, really good.
00:01:43Hey, everyone! Come and see how good I look!
00:01:56Mm, ehh, mm.
00:01:59Ribs. I had ribs for lunch. That's why I'm doing this.
00:02:03How now brown cow. How now brown cow.
00:02:07How now brown cow.
00:02:08How are you? You look awfully nice tonight. Hmm?
00:02:13Maybe don't wear a bra next time.
00:02:17No, I was talking to you. No, not her.
00:02:20I don't know her name. What is it?
00:02:23Lanolin?
00:02:26La-lanolin? Like sheep's wool?
00:02:29Unique New York.
00:02:32Unique New York.
00:02:33Mm, I love Scotch.
00:02:35I love Scotch. Scotchy, Scotch, Scotch.
00:02:38Here it goes down.
00:02:39Down into my belly. Mm-mm-mm.
00:02:42The arsonist has oddly shaped feet.
00:02:44How much time? 30? 30 seconds?
00:02:48- You are on. - I'm on right now?
00:02:51I don't believe you.
00:02:53- # Doo doo doo. # - Ron!
00:02:56Oh, come on. Audrey.
00:02:58I look like hell. I got bags under my eyes.
00:03:01What's that? If you were a man,
00:03:03I'd punch you right in the mouth.
00:03:05That's bush. Bush league.
00:03:07The human torch was denied a bank loan.
00:03:11You hear me? Audrey, look at me!
00:03:14I'm sorry.
00:03:16All right? I'm sorry.
00:03:18Ha ha! Ha ha ha ho!
00:03:21Ha ha ho.
00:03:23Ha oh!
00:03:26All right, we're on.
00:03:28Ready, Phil.
00:03:30We're on in five, four...
00:03:33When the clock struck 6:00,
00:03:35it meant one thing for Ron Burgundy
00:03:37and his news team: Go time.
00:03:40Channel 4 News,
00:03:40Channel 4 News,
00:03:42with five-time Emmy award-winning anchor
00:03:45Ron Burgundy.
00:03:47Champ Kind, sports.
00:03:49Ooh! Hoo-hoo!
00:03:51Brick Tamland, weather.
00:03:56And your reporter in the field, Brian Fantana.
00:04:02It's Channel 4 News at 6:00.
00:04:08Good evening. I'm Ron Burgundy,
00:04:10and this is what's happening in your world tonight.
00:04:13A La Jolla man clings to life at a university hospital
00:04:16after being viciously attacked by a pack of wild dogs
00:04:20in an abandoned pool.
00:04:21Hey, everybody! Shut the hell up! Ron Burgundy's on!
00:04:26Authorities are still uncertain as to why the man
00:04:29- was loitering... - Ron Burgundy.
00:04:32Oh, my gosh! She said her first words!
00:04:34Right now it's 82' in our fair city,
00:04:37and compare that to 48' in the upper Northwest
00:04:41and 38' in the Middle East.
00:04:44Off the coast of Tampa Bay yesterday,
00:04:46one lucky cameraman happened to catch
00:04:48an unusual aquatic daredevil.
00:04:51What you're about to see is a Channel 4 News exclusive.
00:04:55His name is Nutty the Squirrel,
00:04:58and he's three years old.
00:05:00How 'bout that?
00:05:03That squirrel can water-ski.
00:05:08- Man, that's hilarious. - Yeah, that's good.
00:05:11For all of us here at News Center 4,
00:05:14I'm Ron Burgundy.
00:05:16You stay classy, San Diego.
00:05:18You stay classy, San Diego.
00:05:22Listen up. The ratings just came in for last month.
00:05:25We are number one. We just grabbed every key demographic.
00:05:28- Super-duper, gang! - Yeah! Yeah!
00:05:31Super-duper! That's nice!
00:05:33Way to go! Neat-o, gang.
00:05:34- Yes! - Boy, Ed.
00:05:36That is good news. I gotta be honest.
00:05:38- Congrats, congrats. - That is good news!
00:05:41- All right! - Stick around.
00:05:43Make sure these guys don't party too much.
00:05:45- They don't really ever listen to me. - Just get it done.
00:05:48Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention?
00:05:48Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention?
00:05:52I've just been handed an urgent
00:05:54and horrifying news story.
00:05:57I need all of you to stop what you're doing
00:06:00and listen.
00:06:01Cannonball!
00:06:07Yes, these fellas were a real news team.
00:06:11Burgundy, of course, was the foundation, the rock.
00:06:14But each member brought their own special something to the equation.
00:06:18People call me the Bri-man.
00:06:21I'm the stylish one of the group.
00:06:23I know what you're asking yourself,
00:06:25and the answer is yes, I have a nickname for my penis.
00:06:28It's called the Octagon.
00:06:30But I also nicknamed my testes.
00:06:32My left one is James Westfall,
00:06:34and my right one is Dr. Kenneth Noisewater.
00:06:37You ladies play your cards right, you might get to meet the whole gang.
00:06:41Bang, boom, they were showing lasers
00:06:43every Friday night.
00:06:46Champ here. I'm all about havin' fun.
00:06:49You know, get a couple of cocktails in me,
00:06:52start a fire in someone's kitchen.
00:06:54Maybe go to SeaWorld, take my pants off.
00:06:56Anyway, I've become kind of famous
00:06:58for my signature catchphrase, "Whammy!"
00:07:02As in, "Gene Tenace at the plate...
00:07:05and whammy!"
00:07:08Whammy!
00:07:16I'm Brick Tamland.
00:07:18People seem to like me because I am polite
00:07:20and I'm rarely late.
00:07:22I like to eat ice cream,
00:07:24and I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks.
00:07:27Years later, a doctor will tell me
00:07:30that I have an lQ of 48
00:07:33and am what some people call
00:07:35"mentally retarded."
00:07:37Hello!
00:07:38- Whoo! Marco! - Polo!
00:07:42- Brian. - You having a good time?
00:07:44- I'm having a great time. - That makes two of us.
00:07:47You've gotta meet this girl.
00:07:48She used to be a Charger cheerleader, but she broke her pelvis.
00:07:52Sherri, meet Ron Burgundy.
00:07:54- Hey, Ron. - Hello.
00:07:56- I've got a big story for you. - Mm-hmm.
00:07:59And it's right here.
00:08:00Well, hello.
00:08:04You pointed to your boobies.
00:08:06Oh, my God, you did!
00:08:10- Ron Burgundy? - Yes?
00:08:13I have had a crush on you since I was a little girl.
00:08:16Let's go somewhere.
00:08:18I'm telling you, it don't get no better than this.
00:08:21We've been coming to the same party for 12 years,
00:08:24and in no way is that depressing.
00:08:29Ahh.
00:08:30# Gonna make our own lightning #
00:08:33# Yeah, she got the way to move me, Cherry #
00:08:36# She got the way to groove me #
00:08:38# Cherry, baby #
00:08:39# She got the way to move me #
00:08:42# She got the way to groove me... #
00:08:48By the beard of Zeus!
00:08:54Excuse me.
00:08:58Ron, where you going? What, are you crazy? Ron!
00:09:01If you're coming down the baseline, you gotta take home plate from me!
00:09:05So there I go, head first, boom!
00:09:12I've lost her.
00:09:24Ohh.
00:09:33Hello.
00:09:36Hello.
00:09:37Hope I'm not disturbing you, but, uh,
00:09:41I saw you from across the party, and, uh,
00:09:44I don't usually do this, but I felt compelled to tell you something.
00:09:50You have...
00:09:51an absolutely breathtaking...
00:09:54heinie.
00:09:56I mean, that thing is good.
00:09:59I want to be friends with it.
00:10:02Well, you certainly know how to compliment a woman.
00:10:05Now, if you'll excuse me.
00:10:07Do you know who I am?
00:10:11No, I can't say that I do.
00:10:13I don't know how to put this,
00:10:17but I'm kind of a big deal.
00:10:21Really?
00:10:22People know me.
00:10:24I've very happy for you.
00:10:26I'm very important.
00:10:28I have...
00:10:30many leather-bound books,
00:10:32and my apartment
00:10:34smells of rich mahogany.
00:10:38That's stupid.
00:10:42No, no, that's... very exciting.
00:10:45Listen, can l--
00:10:47can I start over again?
00:10:50Sure.
00:10:52I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there.
00:10:55If you like it, you can take it.
00:10:57If you don't, send it right back.
00:10:58Mm-hmm.
00:11:00I wanna be on you.
00:11:04Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:11:07I--
00:11:13I wanna be on you.
00:11:29Yoo-hoo!
00:11:31Baxter!
00:11:33Papa's home.
00:11:35There he is. There's my little man.
00:11:37You're okay?
00:11:39Of course I met a lady tonight.
00:11:44This one was different. I have to be honest.
00:11:47Quite different.
00:11:48What--
00:11:51I'm lonely? I'm not lonely!
00:11:53I'm beloved by everyone in San Diego.
00:12:00Wow.
00:12:03You know how to cut to the core of me, Baxter.
00:12:06You're so wise.
00:12:10You're like a miniature Buddha
00:12:13covered in hair.
00:12:14Come again?
00:12:19You know I don't speak Spanish. In English, please.
00:12:21Huh?
00:12:24You pooped in the refrigerator?
00:12:26And you ate a whole wheel of cheese?
00:12:30How'd you do that?
00:12:32I'm not even mad. That's amazing.
00:12:35I forgive you.
00:12:38What do you say we get you in your pj's and hit the hay?
00:12:41Bedtime. Okay, come on. Let's go. Come on.
00:13:00Oh, that was one crazy party.
00:13:02I am hung over.
00:13:06I woke up this morning
00:13:18All right, guys. Let's focus up.
00:13:21Morning, everyone.
00:13:23Here are the stories we're going to be chasing today.
00:13:26It looks like Ling Wong,
00:13:28the rare panda at the San Diego Zoo, is pregnant.
00:13:31This is a big one.
00:13:32This could be the big story of the summer.
00:13:35Network is gonna be wanting plenty of coverage.
00:13:38And speaking of network, word on the street is
00:13:41they're looking for a new anchor.
00:13:43- So, Ron... - Huh? Network?
00:13:45Are they here?
00:13:51A lot of you have been hearing the affiliates complaining
00:13:54about a lack of diversity on the news team.
00:14:04What in the hell's diversity?
00:14:06Well, I could be wrong,
00:14:08but I believe diversity is an old, old wooden ship
00:14:12that was used during the Civil War era.
00:14:15I would be surprised if the affiliates were concerned
00:14:18about the lack of an old wooden ship,
00:14:20but nice try.
00:14:22Diversity means that times are changing,
00:14:25and with that in mind--
00:14:27- Ron, are you paying attention? - Nope.
00:14:30- This concerns all of us. - Okay.
00:14:32Keeping that in mind, I'd like to introduce the latest addition
00:14:36to the KVWN News Team,
00:14:38directly from WYPN
00:14:41in Asheville, North Carolina,
00:14:44Ms. Veronica Corningstone.
00:14:47- # Who's that lady? # - Hello.
00:14:50- # Who's that lady... # - Hello, everyone.
00:14:53- Oh! - I just want you all to know
00:14:55that I look forward to contributing
00:14:57to this news station's already sterling reputation.
00:15:03I mean, come on, Ed! It's bullcrap!
00:15:06Don't get me wrong. I love the ladies.
00:15:08They rev my engine, but they don't belong in the newsroom!
00:15:12It is anchorman, not anchorlady!
00:15:15- And that is a scientific fact! - Uh-huh.
00:15:19I don't know what we're yelling about!
00:15:23Ron, what do you think?
00:15:25She-- sh-- it's terrible!
00:15:27She has beautiful eyes, and her hair smells like cinnamon!
00:15:30Mm-hmm.
00:15:31Loud noises!
00:15:34All right, everyone relax. She's not gonna take anyone's airtime.
00:15:38I read somewhere that their periods attract bears.
00:15:41Bears can smell the menstruation.
00:15:44Well, that's just great. You hear that, Ed?
00:15:48Bears. Now you're putting the whole station in jeopardy.
00:15:51I will say one thing for her, Ed,
00:15:53she does have a nice, big old behind.
00:15:56I'd like to put some barbecue sauce on that butt
00:16:00and just bite, bite, bite, bite, munch, munch, munch!
00:16:02- Ah-whoo! - Stop it! Oh, Jeez.
00:16:08Look at the full-moon butt!
00:16:11Champ! Champ! Champ, Champ!
00:16:15Mr. Harken, I was just wondering
00:16:17if you knew when my office would be ready.
00:16:19Well, that might take some time.
00:16:21For now, why don't you just grab a desk in the bullpen?
00:16:24You can use my office! Then afterwards maybe we can go to lunch!
00:16:29Lower your voice, Ron.
00:16:30Mm-hmm!
00:16:32All right. Thank you, Mr. Harken.
00:16:35I'll go get my desk set up.
00:16:45Oh, she is a saucy mama! I mean, I would...
00:16:50Here we go again.
00:16:53Every station it's the same.
00:16:55Women ask me how I put up with it.
00:16:58Well, the truth is, I don't really have a choice.
00:17:00This is definitely a man's world.
00:17:02But while they're laughing and grab-assing,
00:17:04I'm chasing down leads
00:17:06and practicing my nonregional diction.
00:17:09Because the only way to win is to be the best.
00:17:12The very best.
00:17:17Touchy situation.
00:17:19I think the best thing to do with this Corningstone,
00:17:22to keep her in line, is bed her quick.
00:17:25Oh, that behind is driving me loco!
00:17:28I'm like a night wolf.
00:17:31Guys, take it easy. Just take it easy!
00:17:33- She's got feelings, too. - Oh, my God!
00:17:37Listen to Burgundy.
00:17:38He's gone soft on us, like some schoolboy bitch.
00:17:41You sound like a gay.
00:17:46Hey! Come on!
00:17:47It's me, Papa Burgundy, all right?
00:17:50As far as I'm concerned, Corningstone's fair game.
00:17:54Huh? Let the games begin!
00:17:57Hi-ohhh!
00:17:59There he is. There he is.
00:18:01I'm very aroused.
00:18:06What's this?
00:18:10Well, well, well.
00:18:14Ron Burgundy and the Channel 4 News Team.
00:18:18Hello, Wes Mantooth.
00:18:20Hello, Evening News Team.
00:18:22Nice clothes, gentlemen.
00:18:23I didn't know the Salvation Army was having a sale.
00:18:28Am I right? Look at these guys.
00:18:33Hey, where did you get those clothes?
00:18:37At the toilet store?
00:18:42What are you doing on our station's turf, Burgundy?
00:18:44You're about to get a serious beat-down.
00:18:47I will smash your face into a car windshield
00:18:50and then take your mother, Dorothy Mantooth,
00:18:53out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her again!
00:18:57Dorothy Mantooth is a saint! You understand me?
00:19:00- Dorothy Mantooth is a saint! - Hey.
00:19:03Leave the mothers out of this, all right?
00:19:08It's unnecessary.
00:19:11Besides, I'm sure Wes here
00:19:14is just upset over finishing second in the ratings again.
00:19:19Ooh!
00:19:20That's completely uncalled for, Burgundy.
00:19:23You know those rating systems are flawed.
00:19:25They don't take into account houses that have
00:19:27more than two television sets and other things of that nature.
00:19:31I guess I have to take you at your word,
00:19:34Number Two.
00:19:39You have a great day, fellas.
00:19:41We'll see you around the bend.
00:19:46Son of a bitch!
00:19:48Excusez-moi, Numero Two.
00:19:54Hey, Burgundy.
00:19:56You know those sample audiences aren't big enough!
00:19:58Stop hiding behind those phony numbers, Burgundy! I'm coming after you!
00:20:02I hate you, Ron Burgundy. I hate you!
00:20:07You can't say one word?
00:20:10Even the guy who can't think says something!
00:20:12You guys just stand there? Come on!
00:20:17Right, but I think my son is just going through a phase.
00:20:21I have no idea where
00:20:23he would have gotten ahold of German pornography.
00:20:26But you and l are mature adults.
00:20:28We've both seen our share of pornographic materials.
00:20:31Oh, you never have?
00:20:33Of course you haven't, how stupid of me. Neither have l.
00:20:35I was just speaking in generalities.
00:20:38I'll stop by the school a little later, Sister Margaret. Bye.
00:20:42Ed, she insisted on coming in.
00:20:45Mr. Harken, sir,
00:20:47I will not have my first story at this news station
00:20:50be about a cat fashion show.
00:20:52Miss Corningstone, ma'am,
00:20:55you will do the stories to which you are assigned.
00:20:58Mr. Harken, I am a damn good journalist,
00:21:01and this cat show thing is grade-A baloney.
00:21:04It is not baloney. Now, go do your job, missy!
00:21:07It is baloney!
00:21:14Hey, Ron,
00:21:16I'm gonna take a run at the new girl.
00:21:18Let the games begin.
00:21:21Oh, Champ, Champ, we're not really gonna actually do that.
00:21:24- We were just flapping our gums. - Oh, yeah.
00:21:26You kill me, Burgundy.
00:21:29Let me just grab this. Oh, sorry about that.
00:21:32- Whammy. - Hmm.
00:21:35- Uh, Champ? - Yeah.
00:21:37You're trying to touch my breasts, aren't you?
00:21:40What can I say? I like the way you're put together.
00:21:43What do you say we go out on a date?
00:21:46Have some chicken, maybe some sex.
00:21:49You know, see what happens?
00:21:50Oh, let me get this over here.
00:21:55Sorry.
00:21:57Oh, there it is.
00:21:59I'll give this little cookie an hour
00:22:01before we're doing the no-pants dance.
00:22:03Time to musk up.
00:22:08Wow.
00:22:10It never ceases to amaze me.
00:22:13What cologne you gonna go with?
00:22:15London Gentleman, or--
00:22:17wait. No, no, no. Hold on.
00:22:20Blackbeard's Delight.
00:22:21No, she gets a special cologne.
00:22:25It's called Sex Panther by Odeon.
00:22:28It's illegal in nine countries.
00:22:32Yep, it's made with bits of real panther.
00:22:35- So you know it's good. - It's quite pungent.
00:22:38Oh yeah.
00:22:39It's a formidable scent.
00:22:41It stings the nostrils.
00:22:44- In a good way. - Yep.
00:22:46I'll be honest with you. That smells like pure gasoline.
00:22:49They've done studies, you know.
00:22:5160% of the time, it works every time.
00:22:55That doesn't make sense.
00:22:57Well...
00:22:59Iet's go see if we can make this little kitty purr.
00:23:07Hey, sweet cheeks. Got an invite I'd like to extend your way.
00:23:14My God.
00:23:16What is that smell?
00:23:18-Oh!
00:23:19That's the smell of desire, milady.
00:23:22God, no, it smells like--
00:23:24Iike a used diaper filled with lndian food.
00:23:27Oh! Excuse me.
00:23:29Desire smells like that to some people.
00:23:31What is that? Smells like a turd covered in burnt hair!
00:23:39It smells like Bigfoot's dick!
00:23:44Oh, hell, that's rank!
00:23:48Oh, what's that smell?
00:23:54This is worse than the time the raccoon got in the copier.
00:23:58Yeah.
00:23:59It's very distracting.
00:24:01- When we get to the pet shop-- - Cough!
00:24:04Look over here.
00:24:05Excuse me, Veronica.
00:24:07Yes, what is it, Brick?
00:24:10I would like to extend to you
00:24:12an invitation to the pants party.
00:24:15Excuse me?
00:24:16The party. The pants--
00:24:19With the pants. Party with pants?
00:24:22Brick, are you saying
00:24:24that there's a party in your pants and I'm invited?
00:24:26That's it.
00:24:28Hmm. Did Brian tell you to say this, Brick?
00:24:31No-- yes, he did.
00:24:33Okay. No, I don't want to go to a party in your pants.
00:24:37Very well. Ian?
00:24:39Would you like to go to a party in my pants?
00:24:41No, Brick.
00:24:43All right. Let's go!
00:24:47All right, now...
00:24:51I'm telling you, she is a real ball-buster.
00:24:54A real ice queen.
00:24:57Mm. I just burned my tongue.
00:25:00The only way to bag a classy lady
00:25:02is to give her two tickets to the gun show...
00:25:08and see if she likes the goods.
00:25:121,001.
00:25:141,002.
00:25:18- Uh, Mr. Burgundy? - 1,003.
00:25:20Helen said that you needed to see me?
00:25:23Oh, Miss Corningstone.
00:25:24I wasn't expecting company.
00:25:30Just doing my workout.
00:25:33Tuesday's arms and back.
00:25:35- You asked me to come by, sir. - Oh, did l?
00:25:38Yes.
00:25:41Oh, it's the deep burn!
00:25:43Oh, it's so deep.
00:25:47I can barely lift my right arm 'cause I did so many.
00:25:50I don't know if you heard me counting. I did over 1,000.
00:25:53You have your ubulus muscle
00:25:55that connects to the upper dorsinus.
00:25:58It's boring, but it's part of my life.
00:26:00I'm just gonna grab this shirt, if you don't mind.
00:26:03Just watch out for the guns. They'll get you.
00:26:07You are pathetic.
00:26:08This has to be the feeblest
00:26:11pickup attempt that I have ever encountered.
00:26:14I expected it from the rest of them, Mr. Burgundy, but not from you.
00:26:18Wait a minute! I-- pickup attempt?
00:26:20I'm offended.
00:26:21I have little time to get to the gym,
00:26:24so I have to sculpt my guns at the office.
00:26:27Oh, stop calling your arms "guns."
00:26:29Look.
00:26:31My plan was to ask you
00:26:34if I could squire you about town
00:26:36as one professional helping another professional,
00:26:39because I know what it's like to be lonely in a new city.
00:26:44- Really? - Yes.
00:26:47But now I am too hurt.
00:26:49And shocked and offended
00:26:52and-- and hurt.
00:26:53I could do that.
00:26:55Really?
00:26:56Well, yes.
00:26:58As a journalist, I should get to know
00:27:00the city that I'm covering.
00:27:02- But this is not a date. - No, of course not.
00:27:05- Strictly professional. - Wonderful.
00:27:08- Hmm. - Great.
00:27:12Shall I pick you up
00:27:148:00?
00:27:17Mm, 9:00.
00:27:21Downstairs?
00:27:22Mr. Burgundy, you have a massive erection.
00:27:25Really?
00:27:29Yes, I do. Um...
00:27:31I'm sorry, it's the--
00:27:34- it's the pleats. - Mm.
00:27:36It's actually an optical illusion.
00:27:39It's the pattern on the pants.
00:27:41It's not flattering in the crotchal region.
00:27:44I'm actually taking them back right now.
00:27:46Taking them back to the pants store.
00:27:50Oh, this is awkward.
00:27:54and I will see you later.
00:28:06Don't act like you're not impressed.
00:28:08Frame up two.
00:28:10- Let's go to Brian Fantana live... - Gimme a tighter one on two.
00:28:13...with a Channel 4 News exclusive.
00:28:15Brian?
00:28:16Panda watch. The mood is tense.
00:28:19I have been on some serious, serious reports,
00:28:21but nothing like this.
00:28:23I-- l-- Ching-- King is inside now.
00:28:26I tried to get an interview, but they said, "You can't.
00:28:29He's a live bear. He will literally rip your face off."
00:28:32Hey! You're making me look stupid!
00:28:35Get out here! Panda jerk!
00:28:38Great story. Compelling and rich.
00:28:43That's gonna do it for all of us at Channel 4 News.
00:28:45You stay classy, San Diego.
00:28:47I'm Ron Burgundy?
00:28:50Damn it! Who typed a question mark on the Teleprompter?
00:28:54For the last time, anything you put on that prompter,
00:28:58Burgundy will read.
00:29:02Oh, God, this is a mistake.
00:29:05This is a mistake.
00:29:06He's very cute. Very cute. No, he's not. He's hairy.
00:29:10There she is! Veronica!
00:29:12My little China doll.
00:29:15I am full of it tonight.
00:29:16Oh, silly. Hi.
00:29:19You look ravishing.
00:29:21It truly is beauty and the beast.
00:29:26I might add a handsome beast at that.
00:29:28Are you ready for our rendezvous?
00:29:29It's not a date.
00:29:31No, strictly professional.
00:29:34Doesn't mean we can't have fun.
00:29:36- Shall we? - Yes.
00:29:43San Diego.
00:29:46Mm! Drink it in.
00:29:48It always goes down smooth.
00:29:52What a beautiful view, Mr. Burgundy.
00:29:54I know. I love this city. It's a--
00:29:57it's a fact.
00:29:59It's the greatest city in the history of mankind.
00:30:03Discovered by the Germans in 1904.
00:30:06They named it San Diago,
00:30:10which of course in German means a whale's vagina.
00:30:16N-- no, there's no way that's correct.
00:30:23I'm sorry. I was trying to impress you.
00:30:26Oh.
00:30:28I don't know what it means.
00:30:31I'll be honest. I don't think anyone knows what it means anymore.
00:30:34Scholars maintain that the translation was lost
00:30:36hundreds of years ago.
00:30:38Doesn't it mean Saint Diego?
00:30:42No. No.
00:30:44No, that's-- that's what it means.
00:30:47Really.
00:30:48Well, agree to disagree.
00:30:55May I take your order?
00:30:57Yes, I am going to have three fingers of Glenlivet
00:31:01with a little bit of pepper, and, uh, some cheese.
00:31:04Very good.
00:31:05A Manhattan, and kick the vermouth
00:31:07in the side with a pair of steel-toed boots.
00:31:10- Certainly. - Thank you, Scott.
00:31:11Thank you.
00:31:14Wow. Quite a drink order.
00:31:16Oh, well, when in Rome.
00:31:19Yes?
00:31:21Please, go on.
00:31:23Uh, do as the Romans do?
00:31:26It's an old expression.
00:31:28Oh! I've never heard of it.
00:31:30- Oh. - It's wonderful, though.
00:31:32Mr. Burgundy.
00:31:34- Tino! How are you? - So good to see you.
00:31:37You're looking fantastic.
00:31:39Tino, Veronica.
00:31:41Veronica. What a pretty girlfriend.
00:31:43- Drinks are on Tino tonight. - No, no, no.
00:31:45We're work associates. I work at the station.
00:31:48- I'm a journalist. - Oh, okay. This is a good guy.
00:31:51Tino's the finest club owner in the city.
00:31:53- My best friend, right? - Yes.
00:31:55Yes, we have a saying in my country about people like him.
00:31:58"The coyote of the desert
00:32:00always likes to eat the heart of the young,
00:32:03where the blood drips down to children for breakfast, lunch and dinner,
00:32:06- only the ribs will be broken in two." - Tino.
00:32:09Okay. Well, Mr. Burgundy, we will be honored
00:32:12if you will play "yazz" flute for us.
00:32:15- I can't. - Please.
00:32:17You play jazz flute?
00:32:19- I dabble. - Oh.
00:32:21Would everyone love to hear Ron Burgundy play "yazz" flute?
00:32:24- Get it goin', Ronnie! - Yes! Please.
00:32:28You, on stage now.
00:32:29Okay, I guess I can play a little ditty.
00:32:32- Honestly, I'm-- - Come on.
00:32:33- Give him a hand. - I'm not prepared. Not at all.
00:32:37- Yeah! - This is a surprise, I'll tell you.
00:32:41Guys, "East Harlem Shakedown," E flat?
00:32:44Keep the cymbals splashy,
00:32:46and, Jay, let's take the bass line for a walk.
00:32:51Hold on.
00:32:53I'm not hearing it right. Hold on.
00:33:04We got it now. It's all right.
00:33:06Fire up, Ronnie!
00:33:09Little "Ham and Eggs" comin' at you. Hope you got your griddles.
00:33:20That's baby-makin' music, that's what that is.
00:33:28Let's go!
00:34:13Hey, Aqualung!
00:34:27Thank you.
00:34:28Thank you!
00:34:37You were amazing.
00:34:39Mm. Thank you.
00:34:41Where did you learn to play like that?
00:34:43Well, jazz flute
00:34:45has always been a small passion of mine.
00:34:48So what other passions do you have, Mr. Burgundy?
00:34:51Well, I have one great passion that--
00:34:56that lives deep within my loins, like a--
00:35:01Iike a flaming golden hawk:
00:35:05To one day become a network anchor.
00:35:08Well, believe it or not,
00:35:11we share the same dream.
00:35:14I too want to be an network anchor.
00:35:18God, you are so beautiful.
00:35:24We really should be going.
00:35:27I swore that I would never get involved with a coworker.
00:35:31Wait.
00:35:35What if, just for tonight, we weren't coworkers?
00:35:39We were co-people?
00:35:42- I don't-- - Shh.
00:35:46You be a woman.
00:35:48I'll be a man.
00:35:50That's all.
00:35:53Oh.
00:35:55You continue to surprise me, Mr. Burgundy.
00:36:18Oh, I'm storming your castle on my steed, milady.
00:36:26Oh, mi corazón es en fuego!
00:36:29Julio, fuego, fuego, fuego!
00:36:31Wait, stop. Stop talking like that.
00:36:34- I can't understand you. - Sorry.
00:36:41Take me to Pleasure Town!
00:36:43- Oh, we're going there! - Oh!
00:36:49# Love is like candy on a shelf #
00:36:54# You want to taste and help yourself... #
00:36:58I friggin' love you!
00:37:00I friggin' love you back!
00:37:02# Help yourself, take a few #
00:37:05# That's what I want you to do... #
00:37:08Look! The most glorious rainbow ever!
00:37:11Oh, do me on it!
00:37:12# Just say the word and they are yours... #
00:37:15Whee!
00:37:19# In my heart your smile has opened up the door #
00:37:24# The greatest wealth that exists in the world. #
00:37:28Mmm.
00:37:30Well done, sir.
00:37:37Tip of the cap to you as well, Miss Corningstone.
00:37:46I'm having very strong feelings for you, Mr. Burgundy.
00:37:49Mm.
00:37:51But it's very important to me that I be viewed as a professional.
00:37:54- Right. - Hmm.
00:37:56When in Rome.
00:37:59Yeah.
00:38:00That, uh, expression
00:38:02doesn't really apply to what I'm talking about.
00:38:05- Oh, I'm-- - What I was saying.
00:38:07I still don't quite understand what it means.
00:38:10Oh, no. You'll find it.
00:38:14No, I was saying that,
00:38:16if we continue seeing each other,
00:38:19that we should keep it relatively quiet around the station.
00:38:22Absolutely,
00:38:24my wild love tigress.
00:38:30Tasteful discretion is the name of the game.
00:38:32Mm-hmm.
00:38:37Veronica Corningstone and I had sex,
00:38:40and now we are in love!
00:38:44Did I say that loud?
00:38:46Yeah, you pretty much yelled it.
00:38:48Well, I can't help it.
00:38:51It's fantastic!
00:38:52- What's it like, Ron? - The intimate times?
00:38:55Outta sight, my man!
00:38:59No. The other thing.
00:39:03Love.
00:39:04Yeah. What is that?
00:39:07Well, it's tough to explain.
00:39:11- I think I was in love once. - Really, what was her name?
00:39:15I don't remember.
00:39:16That's not a good start, but keep going.
00:39:19She was Brazilian.
00:39:21Or Chinese, or something weird.
00:39:24I met her in the bathroom of a K-mart,
00:39:27and we made out for hours.
00:39:29Then we parted ways, never to see each other again.
00:39:32I'm pretty sure that's not love.
00:39:35Damn it!
00:39:36I love...
00:39:39carpet.
00:39:43I love desk.
00:39:46Are you just looking at things in the office and saying you love them?
00:39:50I love lamp.
00:39:52Do you really love the lamp, or are you saying it because you saw it?
00:39:56I love lamp! I love lamp.
00:39:59You really want to know what love is?
00:40:02- Yeah. - Yes, tell us.
00:40:04More than anything in the world.
00:40:07Well, it's really quite simple.
00:40:11It's kind of like...
00:40:15# Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight #
00:40:18# Gonna grab some afternoon delight #
00:40:22# My motto's always been "When it's right, it's right" #
00:40:25# Why wait until the middle of a cold, dark night #
00:40:28# When everything's a little clearer in the light of day #
00:40:34# And we know the night #
00:40:37# Is always gonna be there anyway? #
00:40:41# Thinkin' of you's working up my appetite #
00:40:44# Lookin' forward to a little afternoon delight #
00:40:47# Rubbin' sticks and stones together make the sparks ignite #
00:40:50# And the thought of lovin' you is getting so exciting #
00:40:53# Sky rockets in flight #
00:40:55- # Boo! # - # Afternoon delight... #
00:40:58- Whoop! - You guys have it, I think.
00:41:01# Afternoon delight. #
00:41:04I don't know, Ron. That sounds kinda crazy.
00:41:08Sounds like you have mental problems, man.
00:41:10- Yeah, you got mental problems, man. - Yeah, he really does.
00:41:13Man.
00:41:14# Afternoon delight. #
00:41:17- Wanna make a phone call. - Freshen this up.
00:41:28Oh, look out. Next up, it's Whiskerus Maximus.
00:41:32He's ready to do battle in the arena
00:41:34against the tiniest lion you've ever imagined.
00:41:38I'm getting some great stuff, Miss Corningstone.
00:41:41Shut up.
00:41:43Oh, I hate cats.
00:41:45Let's just do my sign-off and get outta here.
00:41:49It was quite a show down here at the Pet Shack.
00:41:52Just for today, fashion curiosity did not kill the cat.
00:41:56I'm Veronica Corningstone for Channel 4 News.
00:41:59That was our newest reporter, Veronica Corningstone.
00:42:03She's really great.
00:42:05I'd also like to share with you that we are currently dating
00:42:08and that she is quite a handful in the bedroom.
00:42:11Uh...
00:42:12That's gonna do it for all of us here at 6:00.
00:42:15For the Channel 4 News Team, I'm Ron Burgundy.
00:42:18You stay classy, San Diego.
00:42:21All clear.
00:42:23Uh-oh.
00:42:25I might be in trouble on that one.
00:42:28I can't believe that you said that we were dating on the air.
00:42:32Mmm! Mmm. That is good fondue.
00:42:35Don't you get it, Ron? I wanna be an anchor.
00:42:39That is never gonna happen if everyone in San Diego
00:42:41thinks that I'm your bimbo gal pal.
00:42:43I don't know what to say.
00:42:45I just-- I got excited.
00:42:48I just wanted to shout it from on top of a mountain.
00:42:52But I didn't have a mountain. I had a newsroom and a camera.
00:42:55Look.
00:42:57I report the news. That's what I do.
00:42:59And today's top story, in Ron Burgundy's world,
00:43:03read something like this:
00:43:06I love Veronica Corningstone.
00:43:12Oh, Ron.
00:43:19This is nice, gang, sittin' here.
00:43:21- Oh, yeah. - Brown baggin' it.
00:43:23The team pancake breakfast is tomorrow morning at 9:00 instead of 8:00.
00:43:27Oh! Almost forgot.
00:43:29I won't be able to make it, fellas.
00:43:31Veronica and I are trying this new fad called,
00:43:33uh, jogging.
00:43:35I believe it's jogging or yogging. It might be a soft "J."
00:43:39I'm not sure, but apparently you just run
00:43:42for an extended period of time.
00:43:44- It's supposed to be wild. - So Ron's not coming?
00:43:46No, Ron's coming.
00:43:48It's the pancake breakfast. We do it every month.
00:43:51I realize that.
00:43:53Sometimes you gotta look yourself in the mirror and say, "When in Rome."
00:43:57The bottom line is,
00:43:59you've been spending a lot of time with this lady.
00:44:02You're a member of the Channel 4 News Team.
00:44:06- That's a given. - We need you.
00:44:10Hell, I need you.
00:44:13I'm a mess without ya.
00:44:15I miss you so damn much.
00:44:18I miss being with you.
00:44:21I miss being near you. I miss your laugh.
00:44:30I miss-- I miss your scent.
00:44:32I miss your musk.
00:44:37When this all gets sorted out,
00:44:40I think you and me should get an apartment together.
00:44:45Just take it easy, Champ.
00:44:47Why don't you stop talking for a while?
00:44:50Maybe sit the next couple of plays out.
00:44:52You know what I mean?
00:44:53Yeah, I'm gonna quit sayin' things
00:44:55when they crop up in the ol' skull, huh?
00:44:58See what it's like when you're not here?
00:45:01You're our leader. Look what you're doing to the group.
00:45:04Champ's been a mess. Brick can't sleep at night.
00:45:06Here's the thing,
00:45:08I don't trust this chick.
00:45:10We need you around, and she is just using you.
00:45:13Everyone, just relax. All right?
00:45:15Believe me, if there's one thing Ron Burgundy knows, it's women.
00:45:20I don't know, Ron.
00:45:22Guess what. I do.
00:45:24I know that one day, Veronica and I are gonna get married
00:45:28on top of a mountain.
00:45:30And there's going to be flutes playing
00:45:32and trombones and flowers
00:45:35and garlands of fresh herbs.
00:45:39And we will dance till the sun rises.
00:45:42And then our children will form a family band.
00:45:45And we will tour the countryside,
00:45:47and you won't be invited!
00:45:52I'm telling you, this lady has really crawled into Ron's head.
00:45:59Good. Good one!
00:46:03Oh, okay. I understand.
00:46:04You have a nice day, sir. Bye.
00:46:07Um, I could come back later, Mr. Harken.
00:46:10No, no, no.
00:46:12It's just parent stuff.
00:46:13It seems that our youngest, Chris, was
00:46:16on something called acid
00:46:18and was firing a bow and arrow into a crowd.
00:46:21- Mm. - You know how kids are.
00:46:23Oh. Right.
00:46:25Anyhoo, what can I do you for?
00:46:27Well, Mr. Harken,
00:46:29I feel like I have proven myself as a journalist
00:46:32and that I deserve the opportunity
00:46:34to take on more challenging stories.
00:46:36Well, ask and you shall receive.
00:46:38Ah, yes, this just came across my desk.
00:46:41Here is a story of a 103-year-old woman
00:46:44who claims to have a recipe for the world's greatest meat loaf.
00:46:48Ooh, now that's a hot lead.
00:46:50It was very hard for Veronica.
00:46:53But she was a pro and hung tough.
00:46:56But soon, with a simple act of littering,
00:46:59everyone's life would change forever.
00:47:02# La la la la la. #
00:47:07# Oh, Baxter, you are my little gentleman #
00:47:11# I'll take you to foggy London Town #
00:47:13# Because you are what? #
00:47:14# My little gentleman. #
00:47:17This burrito is delicious, but it is filling.
00:47:20Whoa!
00:47:24Antony and Cleopatra!
00:47:32Goddamn son of--
00:47:36What the hell, bro'?
00:47:38Hello, neighbor.
00:47:40Did you just throw a burrito out your window?
00:47:42I believe I did.
00:47:43Are you high or something? Did you see what happened?
00:47:46I did. That was a terrific spill. That's quite a raspberry.
00:47:49That's my chopper you just thrashed, Broseph.
00:47:52Easy, compadre. I'm your friend out here, all right?
00:47:55I want you to fix my chopper before I stomp your goofy ass!
00:47:59If you want to throw down, fine.
00:48:01I've got Jack Johnson and Tom O'Leary waiting for you.
00:48:04You destroyed the only thing I love.
00:48:07All right? There it is. What do you love?
00:48:10I love poetry.
00:48:12And a glass of Scotch.
00:48:14And, of course, my friend Baxter here.
00:48:17Well, guess what. Now this is happenin'.
00:48:20Excuse me. Excuse me. What are you doing?
00:48:26That's how I roll.
00:48:29Baxter!
00:48:32No...!
00:48:38- Where the hell is he? - He'll be here.
00:48:42- I thought he was Mr. Dependable. - It's not like Ron.
00:48:45I'd put Brick on, but unless he's tracking a storm front, he's useless.
00:48:48- Excuse me, gentlemen. - Oh. Hello.
00:48:50Just want you to know if Ron does not show up, I am ready to go on.
00:48:53You and I have had this discussion a million times.
00:48:56There's never been a woman anchor.
00:48:58Mr. Harken,
00:48:59- this city needs its news. - Oh.
00:49:02You're gonna deprive them of that because I have breasts?
00:49:05Exquisite breasts?
00:49:07I am gonna go on, and if you want to stop me, bring it on.
00:49:11Because I am good at three things:
00:49:13fighting, screwing and reading the news.
00:49:16I've already done one of those today, so what's the other one gonna be?
00:49:22Uh--
00:49:23Screwing?
00:49:28I will be in makeup.
00:49:33Jesus, she's terrifying!
00:49:35Fantana.
00:49:39Ron, are you okay?
00:49:41The man punted Baxter!
00:49:43Calm down.
00:49:45Breathe, Ron, breathe.
00:49:47The man that loved the motorcycle!
00:49:49What did the bad man do?
00:49:51The motorcycle on the bridge! I hit him with a burrito!
00:49:55- Ron! - He took him!
00:49:56He took him with his foot and he kicked him!
00:50:00That's what he did!
00:50:01Someone punted him?
00:50:03No, wait. Wait. Let me say something.
00:50:05Let me say something.
00:50:11What?
00:50:17I-- I don't-- I didn't understand one word you said.
00:50:20Ron, are you okay? Ron?
00:50:29Ron. Where are you?
00:50:31I'm in a glass case of emotion!
00:50:34He's gonna put Corningstone on.
00:50:37He's gonna put Corningstone on!
00:50:41I've got to do the news!
00:50:57You're not Ron.
00:51:01We're on in 10. Good luck, lady.
00:51:03Ready the announce.
00:51:09- Power. - Roll in.
00:51:11Power. Power.
00:51:18One slip,
00:51:20and you're gone. Whammy.
00:51:23And your reporter in the field,
00:51:25Brian Fantana.
00:51:26It's Channel 4 News at 6:00.
00:51:31Good evening. Ron Burgundy is off tonight.
00:51:35I'm Veronica Corningstone.
00:51:37Tonight's top story:
00:51:39- Okay, we're off and running. - Three armed men
00:51:42wearing ski masks made off with over $20,000 from an area bank
00:51:45in a daring early morning robbery.
00:51:52Hey!
00:51:54And the winner of the frog-leaping contest was Hoppy,
00:51:57with a jump of seven feet, 10 inches.
00:52:00Hmm.
00:52:02I used to date a guy named Hoppy down in Alabama. He was quite a jumper, too.
00:52:08That will do it for us at 6:00.
00:52:10From all of us here at Channel 4 News,
00:52:13I'm Veronica Corningstone,
00:52:15and thanks for stopping by, San Diego.
00:52:18All clear!
00:52:20Yes! Yes!
00:52:24Lady! Lady!
00:52:26Not bad, Miss Corningstone. Not bad at all.
00:52:29Thank you, Mr. Harken. That felt good.
00:52:31- That felt really good. - I liked your sign-off line, too.
00:52:34You did? It just came through me. It was so organic.
00:52:37Thank you.
00:52:40Oh, Ron! Ron! Ron, darling!
00:52:42I'm so glad you're all right. Oh, God.
00:52:45I have something magnificent to tell you.
00:52:47I'm here. We can do the news now.
00:52:50It's all right, everyone! We can do the news.
00:52:52Hold on. Why are we all standing around? Let's go!
00:52:55Ron, we did it. Veronica filled in for you.
00:52:58What?
00:53:00Sweetheart, we were so worried about you,
00:53:02and we waited as long as we could, but--
00:53:05Darling, I did the news, and I nailed it. I nailed it.
00:53:09Wait, wait! Veronica, please, tell me this is some kind
00:53:13of sick, tasteless joke.
00:53:16You weren't here. Why are you being this way?
00:53:18Why can't you be proud of me
00:53:20as a peer and as my gentleman lover?
00:53:23Oh, Jeez.
00:53:25I can't believe you did this to me!
00:53:27You read my news!
00:53:29I told you that I wanted to be an anchor.
00:53:33I told you that.
00:53:34I thought you were kidding!
00:53:37I thought it was a joke!
00:53:39I even wrote it down in my diary!
00:53:41"Veronica had a very funny joke today."
00:53:44I laughed at it later that night!
00:53:46I can't believe that I cared for you.
00:53:49Get out! Just go!
00:53:51We are through! Through!
00:53:53Because of your actions, you scorpion woman!
00:53:56You have broken my heart, Mr. Burgundy.
00:53:59You have broken my heart.
00:54:06From there on out,
00:54:08things just got worse for Ron Burgundy.
00:54:10Corningstone was a star,
00:54:12and everything started to move awfully fast
00:54:15- after her big break. - Where's lan? Ian!
00:54:18All right, I got a call from network.
00:54:20It looks like our broadcast last night
00:54:23received a two-point ratings boost,
00:54:26and the decision has been passed down
00:54:28to make Veronica our co-anchor.
00:54:31- What? - No. No!
00:54:33No!
00:54:35- No! - No!
00:54:37- No! - This is wonderful.
00:54:38Ed, come here, you big silly man. You big silly man.
00:54:42- We did it. - What is this, amateur hour?
00:54:48- That's great. - Thank you.
00:54:51- # Sunshine, go away today... # - Damn it!
00:54:53# I don't feel much like dancing #
00:54:57# Some man's gone, he's trying to run my life #
00:55:01# Don't know what he's asking #
00:55:07# When he tells me I better get in line #
00:55:10# I can't hear what he's sayin' #
00:55:14# When I grow up I'm gonna make it mine #
00:55:18# These ain't dues... #
00:55:19What Brian didn't tell you
00:55:21was that those were not real pirates.
00:55:24- They looked convincing, though. - Oh, yes.
00:55:27Well, for all of us here at Channel 4 News,
00:55:29I'm Ron Burgundy.
00:55:31You stay classy, San Diego.
00:55:33And thanks for stopping by.
00:55:35But mainly stay classy.
00:55:37- Thanks for stopping by. - Stay classy, I'm Ron Burgundy.
00:55:39- Thanks for stopping by. - Stay classy.
00:55:41Ron Burgundy.
00:55:46You are a real hooker, and I'm gonna slap you in public.
00:55:55You have man boobs.
00:55:58You've got a dirty, whorish mouth.
00:56:05I'm gonna punch you in the ovary.
00:56:08- A straight shot. - Ooh, ow.
00:56:10Right to the baby-maker.
00:56:12Ah, jazz flute is for little fairy boys.
00:56:15Okay, you know what? That's uncalled for.
00:56:17I can't work with this woman. It's terrible.
00:56:21It's ringing.
00:56:25Veronica Corningstone.
00:56:27Hello, Veronica, this is Mike Rithjin
00:56:30from the network. You've just been promoted.
00:56:32You're gonna need to move to Moscow.
00:56:35Start cleaning up your desk.
00:56:36See you in the morning. We'll pick you up in a van.
00:56:39What did you say your name was?
00:56:40Mike Ritnitjun. It's not important.
00:56:43Start cleaning your desk,
00:56:44and we'll pick you up in the morning.
00:56:47Tell her she might want to get a coat.
00:56:49Hold on. Veronica? What was it?
00:56:52Tell her to get a coat.
00:56:53Also, I don't know if you know Moscow. It's pretty cold.
00:56:56You might want to buy a coat.
00:56:58Are you and Champ having a good time, Ron?
00:57:00Are we what?
00:57:01I can see you, Ron.
00:57:04What?
00:57:05I can see you.
00:57:08Okay. Bye-bye.
00:57:10- What happened? - She knew it was me.
00:57:16You're watching Channel 4 News
00:57:19with five-time Emmy award-winning anchor
00:57:21Ron Burgundy and Tits McGee.
00:57:25Good evening, San Diego. I'm Veronica Corningstone.
00:57:28Tits McGee is on vacation.
00:57:33And I'm Tits-- I'm Ron Burgundy.
00:57:39- Veronica Corningstone. - This is your doctor.
00:57:41I have your pregnancy report here, and guess what.
00:57:44You got knocked up. You should probably get out of news.
00:57:48- Who is this? - This is Dr. Chim.
00:57:50- Dr. Chim Richalds. - Ron, is this you?
00:57:54I'm a professional doctor.
00:57:56You saw me. You don't remember.
00:57:59We-- you should move.
00:58:02- Get out of the business. - This is pathetic.
00:58:04You're pathetic.
00:58:06What'd she say?
00:58:08She-- I don't-- I think she bought it.
00:58:10She's looking this way.
00:58:13- Oh, uh-oh. Whoa! - Here she comes.
00:58:20I'll tell you what, it's just not working.
00:58:23She's making us look like a bunch of fools.
00:58:25Ellen, where's the party?
00:58:29Children, grow up.
00:58:33Son of a bee sting.
00:58:35She's turning the entire office against us.
00:58:37- This is grim. Real grim. - What are we gonna do?
00:58:40There's only one thing a man can do
00:58:42when he's suffering from a spiritual and existential funk.
00:58:46Go to the zoo, flip off the monkeys?
00:58:48No. Buy new suits.
00:58:51Yea!
00:58:53# That girl #
00:58:57# I'm gonna make her mine if it takes all night #
00:59:00# Can you dig it? Can you dig it? #
00:59:01# Can you dig it? Can you dig it? #
00:59:03Where's the suit store? We've been walking for 45 minutes.
00:59:03Where's the suit store? We've been walking for 45 minutes.
00:59:06Brick, I thought you said this was a shortcut.
00:59:08Fantastic.
00:59:10- Is it a shortcut or not? - Okay.
00:59:13Jeez.
00:59:18Hey.
00:59:20Uh-oh. Here comes trouble.
00:59:26Burgundy and the ladies went out for a stroll, huh?
00:59:30You boys walkin' around and talkin' things through?
00:59:33Keep a tight perimeter.
00:59:37Yes, sirree.
00:59:40Well, well, well.
00:59:43Ron Burgundy
00:59:45and the Channel 4 News Team.
00:59:47Where's your mommy?
00:59:49You back off, Evening News Team.
00:59:56You know, I understand that, uh,
00:59:59they had to bring a female in.
01:00:02Change your diapers.
01:00:04Wipe the dribble away from your bubblin' lips.
01:00:08Rub Vaseline all over your heinie
01:00:10and tell you that it's special and different from everyone else's.
01:00:15He said "heinie"!
01:00:17Brick, get back over here!
01:00:19Heinie!
01:00:21Does she tuck you in, Ronnie?
01:00:24Give you a little kiss on your forehead?
01:00:26Tell you everything's gonna be okay?
01:00:28I've had enough of you, Mantooth.
01:00:30This is gonna end right here, right now.
01:00:33Let's dance, dickweed.
01:00:35You wanna dance, Ronnie?
01:00:41I wanna polka.
01:00:51Come get a taste.
01:00:57Brick, where'd you get a hand grenade?
01:00:59I don't know.
01:01:02All right. Let's do this!
01:01:06Hey!
01:01:11If you're gonna have a fight,
01:01:13then don't forget Channel 2 News with me,
01:01:16Iead anchor Frank Vitchard.
01:01:18You dirtbags have been in third place for five years.
01:01:21Yeah? Well, you're about to be in dead place.
01:01:31Not so fast, you ingrates!
01:01:35Public News Team is taking a break from its pledge drive
01:01:38to kick some ass.
01:01:40No commercials! No mercy!
01:01:55Cómo están, pinches!
01:01:57Spanish Language News is here.
01:01:59Tonight's top story:
01:02:01The sewers run red with Burgundy's blood.
01:02:04Hyah! Hyah!
01:02:13Well looks like we got ourselves a bilingual bloodfest.
01:02:23Now, before we do this, let's go over the ground rules.
01:02:29Rule number one:
01:02:31No touching of the hair or face.
01:02:35Of course.
01:02:36And that's it!
01:02:38Now let's do this!
01:02:49Begin!
01:03:29I'm gonna straight-up murder your ass!
01:03:31- Blade! - Here you go, mate!
01:03:33Ahh! God!
01:03:36Oh! I did not see that coming!
01:03:42Oh! Aaah!
01:03:44- Now I'll be number one. - No, you won't!
01:03:49Policía!
01:04:06Boy, that escalated quickly.
01:04:09I mean, that really got out of hand fast.
01:04:12- It jumped up a notch. - It did, didn't it?
01:04:14Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart.
01:04:17I saw that. Brick killed a guy.
01:04:20- Did you throw a trident? - Yeah.
01:04:22There were horses and a man on fire and I killed a guy with a trident.
01:04:26I've been meaning to talk to you about that.
01:04:28Find yourself a safe house or a relative close by.
01:04:31Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder.
01:04:35I'm proud of you fellas.
01:04:37You kept your head on a swivel.
01:04:39That's what you gotta do when you're in a vicious cockfight.
01:04:42Can you believe Mantooth and the Channel 9 Evening News Team?
01:04:44"Where's your mommy? Someone's gotta change your diapers."
01:04:47This Corningstone business is really hurting our rep.
01:04:50I know exactly what you mean, Brian.
01:04:52Every newsman in this city's laughing at us.
01:04:54- And I don't like it. - I don't like the put-downs.
01:04:58We're gonna do something about it.
01:05:00It is time to put an end to this!
01:05:02Last time I looked, my name's Ron Burgundy. What's your name?
01:05:06- Brian Fantana. - Champ Kind.
01:05:07- Brian Fantana. - No, you're Brick.
01:05:09- Brian. - I'm Brian.
01:05:10Veronica.
01:05:12And I've shown you, old man!
01:05:15Garth, I need to look at these tapes for a potential lead.
01:05:18Ron's using the machine
01:05:20to play his local Emmy acceptance speech from last year.
01:05:23I tried to ask her out on a date.
01:05:25Turn the music off! I'm still talking!
01:05:29- This is ridiculous! - I don't remember doing it.
01:05:31- Excuse me. - What are you doing?
01:05:33I need this machine so I can watch a tape for a story.
01:05:37I'm using the tape.
01:05:39I'm showing Jeffrey my Emmy tape.
01:05:41We are watching history.
01:05:43Mr. Burgundy, I'm a professional,
01:05:45and I would like to be able to do my job.
01:05:49Big deal! I am very professional!
01:05:51Mr. Burgundy, you are acting like a baby.
01:05:54I'm not a baby, I am a man. I am an anchorman!
01:05:57You are not a man. You are a big fat joke!
01:06:00I'm a man who discovered the wheel
01:06:02and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn.
01:06:06That's what kind of man I am.
01:06:07You're just a woman with a small brain.
01:06:10With a brain a third the size of us. It's science.
01:06:14I will have you know that I have more talent
01:06:17and more intelligence in my little finger
01:06:19than you do in your entire body, sir!
01:06:22You are a smelly pirate hooker!
01:06:24You look like a blueberry.
01:06:27Why don't you go back to your home on Whore lsland?
01:06:30Well, you have bad hair.
01:06:35What did you say?
01:06:37I said
01:06:39your hair
01:06:41Iooks stupid.
01:06:51- Let 'em work it out! - It's between the two of them!
01:07:06They're just talking. Just talking.
01:07:09- I hate you! - I hate you more!
01:07:23Ow!
01:07:25Shut up! Shut up!
01:07:31All right, stop!
01:07:33Stop what you're doing right now!
01:07:35I will not have my newsroom be divided.
01:07:39Ah! Knights of Columbus, that hurts!
01:07:44I was like, "Who is that guy?"
01:07:50I just can't believe what Ron did to you.
01:07:53It is so awful.
01:07:55Yes.
01:07:57Have you ever thought about fighting fire
01:08:00with fire?
01:08:04What do you mean?
01:08:06I have some information that you can choose to use or not use.
01:08:10Up to you.
01:08:12Ron Burgundy
01:08:14will read anything that is put on that Teleprompter.
01:08:17And when I say anything,
01:08:19I mean an-y-thing.
01:08:30Arnold, cue one.
01:08:32After the FotoMat was destroyed,
01:08:34the bear scampered back into the woods.
01:08:37Apparently he wasn't too happy with his color prints.
01:08:40Oh.
01:08:43From the entire Channel 4 News Team,
01:08:45I'm Veronica Corningstone.
01:08:46And I'm Ron Burgundy.
01:08:48Go fuck yourself, San Diego.
01:08:56What in the name--
01:08:59No!
01:09:01Nobody talks about my city that way!
01:09:03Ron Burgundy's ass is grass!
01:09:08Nice work, everyone. Sharp broadcast.
01:09:11Really good. Everyone on the floor as well.
01:09:13Really a lot of hustle. I liked it.
01:09:16Dump out! Dump out!
01:09:19Hello, Edward.
01:09:21- Ron, I've got to fire you. - I've got to fire you.
01:09:24Bing, bong, bong. You're fired, Ed.
01:09:26Do you even know what you just said?
01:09:29Great Odin's raven!
01:09:32Are you happy, Ron?
01:09:34Veronica. She put that in the Teleprompter.
01:09:37You're probably right, but this is bad, Ron. Real bad.
01:09:41My hands are tied. I--
01:09:44I gotta fire you.
01:09:45Ed, let's hold on. Let's count to 10.
01:09:48That's a rash decision. Is this about something else?
01:09:52Ed, there's 300 very angry San Diego-ites.
01:09:56San Diego-ins. San Diego-uns.
01:09:59- San Dieg-ons. - San Diegans.
01:10:01San Diegans out in front of the station.
01:10:03They want Ron's blood.
01:10:05They want to hurt you.
01:10:06Why did you say that? Why?
01:10:10Why, Ron? Why?
01:10:12You're my hero, Ron.
01:10:15Garth, l--
01:10:16And you come out with stink like that poop!
01:10:20You poop mouth! Get all the poop out of your mouth!
01:10:25If I were to give you money out of my wallet, would that ease the pain?
01:10:29I hate you, Ron Burgundy! I hate you!
01:10:38Ron? Ron!
01:10:40I can't believe you did this to me! Are you happy?
01:10:43No, Ron, I'm not!
01:10:45I have nothing left! Nothing!
01:10:47I've been reduced to rubble!
01:10:51Let's go. These people are about to pull you apart.
01:10:55No! No!
01:11:11Mr. Burgundy, you should be ashamed of yourself.
01:11:14- Please, l-- - You're an awful man!
01:11:16You are truly a disappointment to us all, Mr. Burgundy!
01:11:22Bob Dylan once wrote,
01:11:24"The times, they are a-changin'."
01:11:26Ron Burgundy had never heard that song.
01:11:29So when he fell, he fell hard.
01:11:36It's Channel 4 News at 6:00!
01:11:40Good evening, San Diego.
01:11:42I'm lead anchor Veronica Corningstone.
01:11:45Tonight's top story: an ultrasound of Ling Wong,
01:11:49the most famous panda in the world,
01:11:51shows that her baby is doing quite well.
01:11:54No!
01:12:02Ron Burgundy, stay classy.
01:12:04Hello, this is Ron.
01:12:06Hello.
01:12:08Who's there? I'm talking. Hello.
01:12:11Who is this?
01:12:12Baxter, is that you?
01:12:15Baxter!
01:12:16Bark twice if you're in Milwaukee.
01:12:19Is this Wilt Chamberlain?
01:12:21Have the courage to say something. Hello!
01:12:27Hello!
01:12:34Hey, you watch yourself, mister.
01:12:37Hey, lady in the red hat. Yeah.
01:12:40You smell.
01:12:44Guys. Guys, it's me, Ron.
01:12:48Fellas!
01:12:49Harken said he'd fire us if we talked to you.
01:12:52- What? - I'm sorry.
01:12:55I-- Brian!
01:12:58- It's Ronnie! - Ron!
01:13:00- Champ! - Ron!
01:13:02Champ, come on. Come on!
01:13:04Go, Brick.
01:13:05My sweet Brick.
01:13:08Brick, come hug me. I know you want to.
01:13:12I am completely miserable, San Diego!
01:13:19It's so damn hot!
01:13:24Milk was a bad choice!
01:13:33Yes, yes. Chris, listen to me.
01:13:35Put down the gun and let the marching band go.
01:13:38We'll play it off as a prank.
01:13:41We'll straighten it out later. I'm getting another call.
01:13:44Ed Harken.
01:13:46What? Oh, my God!
01:13:48Listen, everybody, Ling Wong the panda is giving birth!
01:13:53Get Corningstone over there right away!
01:13:56The network is picking up the feed.
01:13:58I want a shot of that panda being born!
01:14:07This is Ted Nightingale, Channel 6 News Los Angeles,
01:14:10reporting from the San Diego Zoo.
01:14:12And this is the moment
01:14:13the entire world has been waiting for.
01:14:16I can only speculate as to the sex of the panda,
01:14:19but if I had to guess, I'd say female.
01:14:22- Excuse me. Press. - Hey, lady, watch it.
01:14:25Excuse me, I'm press. Thank you. What do you got?
01:14:27Nothing. All I can see is a blue curtain.
01:14:29Oh, damn it.
01:14:31Go over there and see if you can get a shot. I'll go this way.
01:14:36Hey, lady, why don't you go fetch me a sandwich?
01:14:39Okay, I'll go get your sandwich.
01:14:42Then I'll show you the ratings where you're number two to a woman.
01:14:45Ouch. Don't lose any more hair over it.
01:14:49- Whatever. - We're live, Mr. Mantooth.
01:14:53Good afternoon, San Diego.
01:14:55We're here today to celebrate the birth of a panda.
01:14:58# Sky rockets in flight #
01:15:02# Afternoon delight #
01:15:06# Af-- #
01:15:08# I make fart noises with my mouth #
01:15:13- # And I like to cut-- # - Hey, nut job!
01:15:15Quit the singin'!
01:15:17Creeping out all the regulars.
01:15:19I'm expressing my inner anguish through the majesty of song!
01:15:23Look, drunkie, you been coming in here every day,
01:15:26stinking up the joint with your craziness.
01:15:28Now, what the hell is wrong with you?
01:15:30I got no heart!
01:15:32Because a she-devil stole it!
01:15:35You know what the worst part about it is?
01:15:39She's better than me!
01:15:43She's better than me.
01:15:46You know, times are changing.
01:15:50Ladies can do stuff now.
01:15:52You're gonna have to learn how to deal with that.
01:15:55What? Were you saying something?
01:15:57Look, I don't speak Spanish.
01:16:00Ah.
01:16:11Scotty.
01:16:12Scotty, I have the shot.
01:16:15Scotty. Scotty!
01:16:17Hey, uh,
01:16:19that is some fantastic shot you got there.
01:16:22The kind of shot that gets you to the top of network news.
01:16:25- Oh, well, we hope. - We at public television,
01:16:29we're really down with the woman's lib thing.
01:16:33That is so refreshing to me.
01:16:36Because the struggle I've--
01:16:41Howie, we have the shot.
01:16:45Up a little. Up, up.
01:16:47Oh. You son of a bitch!
01:16:49Shh!
01:16:51Don't want to wake up your friends.
01:17:04Help!
01:17:05- Simply vanished. - How do you lose your lead anchor?
01:17:08- I can't find Corningstone. - Where the hell is she?
01:17:10- No one's seen her. - I can't believe this.
01:17:12Every news outlet in the world is looking for coverage on this.
01:17:16I've got no damn lead anchor!
01:17:19Damn it! Get me a phone.
01:17:22I can't believe I'm about to do this.
01:17:27Rocky's, bar, grill, fine dining.
01:17:29- Is there an anchorman there? - Hold on.
01:17:32This is killing me. I'd rather slit my throat.
01:17:34- Hello? - Hello?
01:17:37- Is this Ron? - Who is this?
01:17:39- It's me. Ed. - Who?
01:17:41- Ed Harken. - I don't know a Ned.
01:17:44- Ed Harken! - Ed!
01:17:46- Ed, hello. - Listen, Ron.
01:17:48Corningstone disappeared in the midst of the biggest story of the year.
01:17:52We need you down here right away.
01:17:54Wait, Ed.
01:17:56Does this mean you're asking me to report the news again?
01:18:01- Yes. - Ed!
01:18:03That's wonderful! Thank you!
01:18:05Ed, hold on. I want to say a few words.
01:18:07- You have always been a good friend! - Right.
01:18:11- Always! - Right.
01:18:15Get down here as quickly as you can.
01:18:17Ed, I'll be down there.
01:18:20And I'm going to look good.
01:18:33Good evening. I'm Ron Burgundy.
01:18:36Damn! That dude cleans up good!
01:18:39If I'm gonna do this, I'll need my news team at my side.
01:18:51News team!
01:18:53Assemble!
01:19:02News team, assemble!
01:19:08Hey, Ron.
01:19:10What's up?
01:19:11Oh.
01:19:13Hi. Didn't see you there.
01:19:15We've been here literally the entire time you have.
01:19:19I'm a little embarrassed.
01:19:21Look.
01:19:24I just got the call from Harken. He wants me back.
01:19:28But I can't do this without my news team.
01:19:30I don't know, Ron.
01:19:32That was half a lifetime ago. We're different people now.
01:19:35When you left, the hurt was so deep.
01:19:37I don't know if I can go through that again.
01:19:39Think about what you're asking.
01:19:41Man.
01:19:43Gentlemen,
01:19:46there was a time
01:19:49when you called me your lead anchor.
01:19:55Will you follow me again?
01:19:59I'm gettin' too old for this shit.
01:20:01To the news van!
01:20:03- To the news van! - Okay!
01:20:16Ahh!
01:20:18Well, I'll be. Ron Burgundy.
01:20:20He's back!
01:20:22Gentlemen, let's try to get in a good position for the story.
01:20:25- How does the hair look? - Magnificent.
01:20:27You have hair like an angel.
01:20:29Oh, whoa, whoa. Network talent scout.
01:20:32- This is a hot one. - I'm actually nervous.
01:20:35Let's go get 'em.
01:20:38Wait! Did you just hear something?
01:20:40Help.
01:20:42- Ron, help! - Veronica!
01:20:45- Are you okay? - Shh!
01:20:47How did you get down there?
01:20:49Just go get someone. Please.
01:20:51Hold on. Hold on!
01:20:56We've got to do something.
01:20:58Whoa, Ron, I don't want to sound cruel, but--
01:21:01There's a network talent scout over there.
01:21:03This is a tough decision.
01:21:05So much to think about.
01:21:08Basically the biggest story of my career,
01:21:10Iaunching me to a level I've never known before,
01:21:14or saving the woman
01:21:16I used to have familiar relations with.
01:21:19This is hard!
01:21:22I am in a pickle!
01:21:24Ron, I know it sounds harsh,
01:21:27but God does not want her to live.
01:21:29No. Hold on.
01:21:33It's clear now.
01:21:37We go into the bear pit.
01:21:40Ron, don't.
01:21:44Oh!
01:21:48I immediately regret this decision.
01:21:51What are you doing? Why didn't you get help?
01:21:54These bears are massive!
01:21:56They looked a lot smaller from up there.
01:21:59Fan out. Let's go find Harken.
01:22:02Stay calm.
01:22:07It's all right. I think it's all right, my sweet chinchilla.
01:22:10- Oh, Ron. - Yes, yes.
01:22:12In case we die here today,
01:22:14there's something that you should know.
01:22:17That dirty trick with the Teleprompter, it wasn't--
01:22:20Sweet Eli Whitney's nose! It wasn't you, was it?
01:22:24It was Wes Mantooth.
01:22:26- Oh, I should have known. - No, no.
01:22:29- No, I did it. - You bitch!
01:22:32Shh!
01:22:36You woke the bears. Why did you do that?
01:22:41There's somebody in the bear pit!
01:22:47It took my impending death
01:22:50for me to realize how much I need you.
01:22:53Oh, Ron.
01:22:59Those bears are gonna hurt them!
01:23:01News team, let's hunt.
01:23:05News team!
01:23:10Bear fight!
01:23:14Come on. Come on!
01:23:24Damn!
01:23:25Hit 'em in the uvula!
01:23:28Hey, Ron!
01:23:29I'm riding a furry tractor!
01:23:32The bears have descended on the news team
01:23:35and it's not going well.
01:23:36Clearly, after today, I will no longer--
01:23:39Come on! Oh, God!
01:23:42It's getting to be ri-goddamn-diculous!
01:23:46Oh, no.
01:23:48We woke up the mama.
01:23:53Oh, God!
01:23:56I don't wanna die.
01:24:04Baxter!
01:24:47Look! They're following their mother!
01:24:49It's instinct.
01:24:51Oh, Baxter!
01:24:53Oh! Oh, Baxter, you're still alive!
01:24:57Oh, I'm so happy!
01:25:01I'm so happy! You are alive!
01:25:05I'm so happy!
01:25:14I will lick you!
01:25:15I will lick you in front of everyone to show my joy.
01:25:18Oh. Ohhh!
01:25:20Boy, he really likes that dog.
01:25:23Burgundy! Burgundy!
01:25:26Burgundy! Burgundy!
01:25:28Burgundy! Burgundy!
01:25:31Hi, Ron.
01:25:33It's always a long fall from the top, isn't it?
01:25:36Easy, Wes.
01:25:38I've been waiting to say this to you for a long time.
01:25:41- All right. - Deep down in my stomach,
01:25:44with every inch of me,
01:25:45I pure, straight
01:25:48hate you!
01:25:55But, God damn it, do I respect you!
01:26:11Thank you,
01:26:12brother.
01:26:16Burgundy! Burgundy!
01:26:19Today we spell redemption
01:26:21R-O-N.
01:26:23Burgundy! Burgundy!
01:26:26Ron, you're my hero!
01:26:28Ron, I think you've got a story to report.
01:26:34Are you sure, Ed?
01:26:37Do it.
01:26:39It's the story you were born to tell.
01:26:46San Diego's waiting. Go get 'em.
01:26:49Make way!
01:26:50Ron Burgundy's about to report on pandas!
01:26:56Count me down. Three.
01:26:57You're live, Mr. Burgundy.
01:26:59This is Ron Burgundy,
01:27:01proudly reporting once again for Channel 4 News.
01:27:05Today's story is one of the more remarkable things
01:27:09ever to happen to San Diago
01:27:12or even the world.
01:27:14But in order to properly retell it,
01:27:17I'm going to need some help
01:27:20from my co-anchor,
01:27:23Miss Veronica Corningstone.
01:27:27- High-pressure system-- - No, no, no, no, Brick.
01:27:30- High-pressure system-- - Go stand over there.
01:27:36Oh, Ron.
01:27:37Ron, there are literally thousands of men
01:27:40that I should be with instead,
01:27:41but I am 72% sure that I love you.
01:27:52Yes, redemption was sweet for Ron Burgundy.
01:27:55Yes! Ron!
01:27:58- As for the news team: - Stop it! Ron!
01:28:02Champ Kind went on to become a commentator for the NFL,
01:28:05but was later fired after being accused
01:28:08of sexual harassment by Terry Bradshaw.
01:28:11Excuse me.
01:28:13Is that Sex Panther you're wearing?
01:28:18Brian Fantana went on to have great success
01:28:21as the host of the hit reality TV show
01:28:23"lntercourse lsland" on the Fox Network.
01:28:26Anyone seen Brick?
01:28:29- Brick? - Don't! That tickles!
01:28:31No, that tickles me! Come on!
01:28:34Brick Tamland is married with 1 1 children
01:28:37and is one of the top political advisors
01:28:40to the Bush White House.
01:28:41I'm gonna get you! I'm gonna get you!
01:28:54And Ron and Veronica didn't stay in San Diego long.
01:29:02I chose them as my replacement,
01:29:04and they became the first mixed-gender network news team,
01:29:07and they're still doing it today.
01:29:09From all of us here at the World News Center,
01:29:13I'm Veronica Corningstone.
01:29:14And I'm Ron Burgundy.
01:29:16You stay classy, planet Earth.
01:29:19Brought To You By MohammaD [SHoCk Movies]
01:29:22Brought To You By MohammaD [SHoCk Movies] # Carry on, my wayward son #
01:29:26# There'll be peace when you are done #
01:29:30# Lay your weary head to rest #
01:29:34# Don't you cry no more... #
01:29:37Oh! Great Odin's raven!
01:29:40Oh! By the hammer of Thor!
01:29:43Oh! Saint Damien's beard!
01:29:47Sweet grandmother's spatula!
01:29:50Oh! Hot pot of coffee!
01:29:53Uncle Jonathan's corncob pipe!
01:29:59I'm gonna shoot you with a BB gun when you're not looking.
01:30:02In the back of the head.
01:30:04I'm sorry.
01:30:08You're not very bright. You know that, right?
01:30:10You're actually quite a dullard.
01:30:12Everyone here knows it.
01:30:14If I'm a dullard, you're the, uh, the dull--
01:30:18Oh! Can't think of anything to say, can you?
01:30:21Yes, I can. I can think of a lot of things to say.
01:30:24Like, you're a dirty bitch.
01:30:29Well, Ron, I'm gonna put poison--
01:30:32Oh, my God!
01:30:38I drank a lava lamp. It wasn't lava.
01:30:42I ate a whole bunch of fiberglass insulation.
01:30:44It wasn't cotton candy like that guy said.
01:30:48My stomach's itchy.
01:30:50I pooped a hammer.
01:30:51I pooped a tape recorder.
01:30:53I pooped a Cornish game hen.
01:30:58Uh...
01:31:00Nope.
01:31:03You do not take a tone with me,
01:31:05'cause I will give you a rap right on the Jack Johnson!
01:31:08- Okay. - Yes.
01:31:10Now this is happenin'.
01:31:12What are you doing?
01:31:13- Hah! - What are you doing?
01:31:16What are you--
01:31:22Action.
01:31:23We'll go back to doing what I do best--
01:31:25I guess we'll go back to doing what I do best, show off.
01:31:28When do we get started?
01:31:30When do we get started?
01:31:32- That's my line. - When do we get started?
01:31:34You say, "Whenever you like."
01:31:36Whenever you like.
01:31:38Keep it rollin'. This is good stuff.
01:31:41...an area bank in a daring...
01:31:43Probably not the same one. Probably not the same guy.
01:31:54Brick, before I let you go,
01:31:56are you still having your celebrity golf tournament this summer?
01:31:59No, too many people died last year.
01:32:01So we're not gonna do--
01:32:03Sorry. Sorry.
01:32:06They named it San Diego.
01:32:09Which in German means, "a whale's vagina."
01:32:20This is the most ridiculous thing ever.
01:32:43# Carry on, my wayward son #
01:32:47# There'll be peace when you are done #
01:32:51# Lay your weary head to rest #
01:32:55# Don't you cry #
01:32:56# Don't you cry no more #
01:33:16Way to handle him. That was nice.
01:33:18It sure is good to be number one.
01:33:20It sure beats the hell out of number two.
01:33:24We are laughing!
01:33:27And we are very good friends.
01:33:29Good buddies sharing a special moment.
01:33:32Don't say anything, Ron. Just let it happen.
01:33:35We're laughing, enjoying our friendship.
01:33:38And someday we'll look back on this with much fondness.
01:33:42Yeah.

Contact Us

Copyrighted materials can be found on this site which have not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. These materials are distributed under what we believe to be fair use in the United States as we are offering these materials for educational purposes only, we do not generate any profit from the operation of this site, clips are limited in terms of length, and our existence will not have an effect on the work's value. If you are a user who wishes to use copyrighted materials for purposes other than those covered under fair use, consult an attorney. We can not offer any guidance in this area. If you are the owner of copyrighted material and wish to have it removed from our site, contact us directly. We'll take it down.